« Turtles
Home Page
Tweety »

Columbo, Cable, Covid, UFOs, Cats, Depp, Demented Ideology

Published Tuesday, May 17, 2022 @ 5:03 PM EDT
May 17 2022

Apparently, Columbo's first name was Frank.


"Basic cable is so important for so many reasons. Without basic cable, there'd be no 24-hour news, no reality television, and there'd be no Shark Week. Where would we be as a culture?"
-Doug Herzog


US deaths from COVID hit 1 million, less than 2 1/2 years in. The confirmed number of dead is equivalent to a 9/11 attack every day for 336 days. It is roughly equal to how many Americans died in the Civil War and World War II combined. It's as if Boston and Pittsburgh were wiped out.

Also: How often can you be infected with the coronavirus? The spread of the Omicron variant has given scientists an unsettling answer: repeatedly, sometimes within months. A virus that shows no signs of disappearing, variants that are adept at dodging the body's defenses, and waves of infections two, maybe three times a year- this may be the future of Covid-19, some scientists now fear.


On this day in 1954, the U.S. Supreme Court issued its landmark decision in Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, in which the Court ruled that U.S. state laws establishing racial segregation in public schools were unconstitutional, even if the segregated schools were otherwise equal in quality.


Verizon wireless plan bills getting more expensive with new 'economic adjustment charge'. The advertised pricing of Verizon's actual plans will stay the same, but it will begin adding a new "economic adjustment charge" to your bill every month. (Why doesn't the FTC go after this as false advertising?)


From a congressional hearing on unidentified aerial phenomena, watch new videos released by the Department of Defense and highlights from officials' testimony. The truth is out there?


Did cats really disappear from North America for seven million years? My guess is the little bastards were hiding.


Three scenarios for how Putin could actually use nukes. Here's how to think about the unthinkable.


Why we're doomed: America more interested in Depp-Heard trial than abortion. On a per-article basis, the trial has dwarfed all other major topics in the news.


Craig Ferguson is 60 today.


The devil they know: Why the Big Four broadcasters are canceling fewer shows. As broadcast nets become starting points in a cross-platform ecosystem, rather than the stand-alone entities they long were, staying with proven (or at least familiar) programming makes sense: Networks can still draw eyeballs to on-air shows that people know so well, and recognizable library titles help bolster affiliated streaming services. Outside of having NFL rights, that's as much of a win-win as the shrinking linear TV world can provide.


A racist theory may have driven the Buffalo tragedy. The Murdochs thrive on it. The demented ideology flows from many sources. One of them is Fox News.

The Right's embrace of racist replacement theory is both dangerous and dumb:

Tweets, observations, and diversions:

Marjorie Taylor Greene: "The greatest choice a woman can make is becoming a mother."
So... it IS a choice.
-Middle Age Riot

The formula shortage is an example of how free market capitalism does exactly what right wing fear-mongers think socialism will do.
-Bess Kalb

Freedom isn't owning 25 rifles, it's going to the grocery store and not having to worry about being killed by one.
-Kevin Sixx

Dolly Parton honors Dan Rather for fighting 'disinformation'.

Categories: Cable TV, Cats, Columbo, Covid-19, Dan Rather, Dolly Parton, Fox News, Lawrence O'Donnell, Nuclear weapons, Rachel Maddow, Replacement Theory, Rupert Murdoch, Seth Meyers, Stephen Colbert, Supreme Court, Tucker Carlson, TV, UAPs, UFOs, Ukraine, Verizon, Vladimir Putin


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Goodbye Rosie

Published Wednesday, May 30, 2018 @ 12:11 PM EDT
May 30 2018

Roseanne's politics on her television show never bothered me that much. What bothered me was the episode where she was using her granddaughter's ability to mimic the electronic beep of the price scanner to shoplift items from the grocery store self check-out.

This sort of lessened her moral authority when having to deal with her older granddaughter shoplifting thrift store clothes to get money to move out of the Connor household and back to Chicago. That was obscured by Roseanne's response to being called a "stupid old hillbilly", namely forcing her granddaughter's head into the sink and spraying her with water.

Whatever. Children need good role models, and the recently resurfaced Roseannes- both the real life and the sitcom versions- left much to be desired.

One upside- calling her out on her "Ambien tweeting" excuse, drugmaker Sanofi tweeted:

Categories: Racism, Roseanne Barr, TV


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Quotes of the day: Television

Published Saturday, March 14, 2015 @ 5:07 PM EDT
Mar 14 2015

Television brought the brutality of war into the comfort of the living room. Vietnam was lost in the living rooms of America- not on the battlefields of Vietnam.
-Marshall McLuhan

Television could perform a great service in mass education, but there's no indication its sponsors have anything like this on their minds.
-Tallulah Bankead

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.
-David Frost

Television hangs on the questionable theory that whatever happens anywhere should be sensed everywhere. If everyone is going to be able to see everything, in the long run all sights may lose whatever rarity value they once possessed, and it may well turn out that people, being able to see and hear practically everything, will be specially interested in almost nothing.
-E.B. White

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
-Art Buchwald

Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force to an immovable object.
-Laurence J. Peter

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.
-Alfred Hitchcock

Television has made dictatorship impossible, but democracy unbearable.
-Shimon Peres

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
-Ann Landers

Television has raised writing to a new low.
-Samuel Goldwyn

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
-Fred Allen

Television is a gift of God, and God will hold those who utilize his divine instrument accountable to him.
-Philo T. Farnsworth

Television is a great leveler. You always end up sounding like the people who ask the questions.
-Gore Vidal

Television is a weapon of mass distractrion.
-Larry Gelbart

Television is actually closer to reality than anything in books. The madness of TV is the madness of human life.
-Camille Paglia

Television is an instrument which can paralyze this country.
-William C. Westmoreland

Television is democracy at its ugliest.
-Paddy Chayefsky

Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn't change people's habits. It just kept them inside the house.
-Alfred Hitchcock

Television is never more false than when it's openly sincere.
-Mort Sahl

Television is not the truth. Television is a goddamned amusement park.
-Paddy Chayefsky

Television is the first truly democratic culture- the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what the people do want.
-Clive Barnes

Television is the most perfect democracy. You sit there with your remote control and vote.
-Aaron Brown

Television leaves no external scars.
-Robert A. Heinlein

Television makes so much at its worst that it can't afford to do its best.
-Fred W. Friendly

Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone.
-Hodding Carter

Television series are like the stock market. There's room for bears and bulls but no room for pigs.
-Bob Newhart

Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
-Fran Lebowitz

Television's perfect. You turn a few knobs, a few of those mechanical adjustments at which the higher apes are so proficient, and lean back and drain your mind of all thought. And there you are watching the bubbles in the primeval ooze.
-Raymond Chandler

Television... is not a substitute for print.
-Walter Cronkite

Television: A medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done.
-Ernie Kovacs

Television? The word is half Latin and half Greek. No good can come of it.
-Charles P. Scott

Categories: Quotes of the day, Quotes on a topic, Television, TV


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Cleaning off the desktop III: A helicopter, the Tamiami, and Girls With Guns

Published Sunday, May 11, 2014 @ 8:26 AM EDT
May 11 2014

We were living in Philadelphia in the summer of 1985, and the television was on as background noise. A "Miami Vice" rerun was airing. I'd caught a few minutes of the series earlier in the year and, frankly, it wasn't on my must-see list. Anyway, I was working on something when I heard a car engine gunned, followed by a hard cut to Tommy Shaw's driving "Girls With Guns."

I looked up to see a tracking shot of speeding convertible. After a few seconds, it became obvious the tracking vehicle was a helicopter, perfectly matching the speed of the auto. I slowly became aware that there weren't any edits... this was one long honking aerial shot.

It runs for a total of 79 seconds, an eternity in a filmed television series. I couldn't find many details. The episode, "Glades," was the ninth in the series' first season. It originally aired on November 30, 1984; I apparently caught the rerun on June 21, 1985. The show was directed Stan Lathan (who would later go on to direct 122 episodes of "The Steve Harvey Show"), and the director of photography was Duke Callahan, who was also the D.P. on the motion picture Conan The Barbarian. The helicopter pilot and cameraman were uncredited.

The segment starts on the west side of Miami and continues along the Tamiami Highway. My guess is the director told the stars to drive themselves to the location that day, and he told the DP to grab a camera, get a helicopter, and get him some filler because the episode timed out short.

Or, it could have been a deliberate attempt to create a shot so impressive an old fart like me would remember it nearly 30 years later when he accidentally encountered it on the web.

Here's the link to the full song.

Categories: Classic, Cleaning off the desktop, Music, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

You are being watched. Might as well enjoy it.

Published Friday, July 26, 2013 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Jul 26 2013

In light of the Edward Snowden/NSA scandal, CBS' science fiction series Person of Interest now more closely resembles a reality show:

While not quite as memorable as "Space... the final frontier," the series' opening voice over provides a pretty good summary of the premise:

"You are being watched. The government has a secret system: a machine that spies on you every hour of every day. I designed the machine to detect acts of terror, but it sees everything... violent crimes involving ordinary people. The government considers these people 'irrelevant'. We don't. Hunted by the authorities, we work in secret. You'll never find us, but victim or perpetrator, if your number's up... we'll find you".

From the Wikipedia article on the show:

John Reese (Jim Caviezel), a former Green Beret and CIA field officer, is living as a derelict in New York City after the death of the woman he loves, and is presumed dead. He is approached by Harold Finch (Michael Emerson), a reclusive billionaire computer genius who is living under an assumed identity. Finch explains that after September 11, 2001, he built a computer system for the government that uses information gleaned from omnipresent surveillance to predict future terrorist attacks. However, Finch discovered that the computer was predicting ordinary crimes as well. The government is not interested in these results, but Finch is determined to stop the predicted crimes. He hires Reese to conduct surveillance and intervene as needed, using his repertoire of skills gained in the military and the CIA. Through a back door built into the system, Finch receives the Social Security number of someone who will be involved in an imminent crime, at which point he contacts Reese. Without knowing what the crime will be, when it will occur, or even if the person they were alerted to is a victim or perpetrator, Reese and Finch must try to stop the crime from occurring.

They are helped by NYPD Detectives Lionel Fusco (Kevin Chapman), a corrupt officer whom Reese coerces into helping them, and Joss Carter (Taraji P. Henson), who in early episodes investigates Reese for his vigilante activities. Although Reese arranges for Carter and Fusco to be partners in the NYPD early in the first season, neither learns that the other is also working with Finch and Reese until season two.

Periodically, the team also enlists the aid of Zoe Morgan (Paige Turco), a professional "fixer" who applies her skills to particularly difficult tasks. The series features several subplots. One significant story arc involves "HR", an organization of corrupt NYPD officers in league with budding mob boss Carl Elias (Enrico Colantoni); in the course of this arc Fusco is forced to go undercover. Another important storyline revolves around Root (Amy Acker), a psychopathic female hacker who is determined to gain access to the Machine; she asserts the device is actually God, and that she has been summoned by "her."

Ah, The Machine...

The Machine is a mass surveillance computer system programmed to monitor and analyze data from surveillance cameras, electronic communications, and audio input throughout the world. From this data, the Machine accurately predicts violent acts. Under control of the U.S. Government, its stated purpose is the identification of terrorist and their planned assaults. However, the Machine detects future violent acts of all kinds, not just terrorism. Unknown to Finch, his partner, Nathan Ingram, installed a routine called "Contingency" prior to delivering the system to the government. The covert software causes the machine to also act on non-terrorist crime. Finch is appalled that Ingram has the data sent directly to him. After Finch fails to prevent Ingram's computer-predicted murder, he further modifies the system so that "irrelevant" non-terrorism data is transmitted to him in the form of social security numbers, via coded messages over a public telephone.

Over the course of each episode, the viewer periodically sees events as a Machine-generated on-screen display of data about a character or characters: identification, activities, records, and more may be displayed. The viewer also sees a Machine-generated perspective as it monitors New York. Commercial flights are outlined by green triangles, red concentric circles indicate no-fly zones around tall buildings, and dashed boxes mark individual people. The Machine classifies the people it watches by color-coding the boxes: white for no threat or an irrelevant threat; red for perceived threats to the Machine, red-and-white for individuals predicted to be violent; and yellow for people who know about the machine, including Finch, Reese, Ingram, Corwin and Root. The white-boxed "irrelevant threat" targets include the Persons of Interest that Reese and Finch assist.

As the series progressed, a wider governmental conspiracy emerged. Known as "The Program", it revolves around the development and utilization of the Machine. Apparently led by a mysterious figure known only as "Control", an unnamed official (Jay O. Sanders) from the Office of Special Counsel begins eliminating key personnel who are aware of the Machine's existence by deploying teams of Intelligence Support Activity (ISA) operatives who believe they are acting to eliminate perceived terrorist threats on the recommendation of a department known as "Research". The members of the elimination teams are classified by the Machine using a blue box.

Person's producers have hinted the third season of the hit series, which moves to a new day and slot (Tuesdays at 10 pm, premiering on September 24) will attempt to be more, er, science fiction-y. Like all television shows, Person does have some reality-bending elements, but the suspension of disbelief level required is remarkably low. The bad guys are still lousy shots, and the key characters make miraculous recoveries from concussions, lethal injections and various forms of physical trauma, often before the show's end credits roll. But hey, it's episodic broadcast television, right?

Where the show excels is in production values and technical accuracy. While Mr. Finch's technology boasts features which are a couple software releases in the future, the indulgences can be forgiven. The show's cellular phone networks, computers, and other devices work at blinding speed. But when you have to shoehorn a rich narrative into 40 minutes of actual episode time, you really don't want to watch systems execute communication protocol negotiations in real time; trust me.

Particularly impressive is the effort the show puts into elements that have perhaps a second or two of screen time. Thanks to high definition and digital video recording, I've been able to freeze frame some of the monitor shots- and it's obvious these guys have some real-world Unix and TCP/IP knowledge. A one-second blip of a phony newspaper article reveals someone actually wrote a faux news story and, apparently, follows The AP Stylebook.

Other one-hour drama series spend eight days or less to film an episode. Person of Interest spends nine and a half, with more camera coverage, extensive location shooting, and substantial post-production work.

They spend money on this show, and it's all up on the screen. The episodes have a decided theatrical motion picture feel.

So... when planning your television viewing for the upcoming season, give Person a shot. Like certain other Warner Brothers shows, the studio hasn't made it available for free, on-demand viewing- you have to buy the DVDs or download the show from iTunes. Update: During the third season, the show became available on the CBS website.

Just type CBS Person of Interest into Google and you'll find hundreds of useful fan sites and video clips from key episodes.

One caveat- the series is produced by J.J. Abrams of Lost fame, which means there's a chance that at some point the whole thing could take a sharp turn into stupidity. But, based on the first two seasons, it's worth the risk.

And, the regular cast includes a dog:

Categories: Amy Acker, CBS, Computers, Dogs, Edward Snowden, Enrico Colantoni, George Orwell, Google, Internet, James Clapper, Jay O. Sanders, Jim Caviezel, Kevin Chapman, Michael Emerson, NSA, Paige Turco, Peggy Noonan, Person of Interest, PRISM, Ron Wyden, Science Fiction, Signs of the Apocalypse, Taraji P. Henson, Technology, Terrorism, The Machine, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Stay tuned...

Published Sunday, July 21, 2013 @ 2:04 PM EDT
Jul 21 2013

(YouTube video: ComiCon trailer for "COSMOS: A Spacetime Odyssey," a 13-part docu-series debuting in 2014 on FOX.)

The original 13-part Cosmos: A Personal Voyage first aired in 1980 on the Public Broadcasting System, and was hosted by Carl Sagan. The show has been considered highly significant since its broadcast; Dave Itzkoff of The New York Times described it as "a watershed moment for science-themed television programming". The show has been watched by at least 400 million people across 60 different countries.

Following Sagan's death in 1996, his widow Ann Druyan, the co-creator of the original Cosmos series along with Steven Soter, a producer from the series, and astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, sought to create a new version of the series, aimed to appeal to as wide an audience as possible and not just to those interested in the sciences. They had struggled for years with reluctant television networks that failed to see the broad appeal of the show.

Seth MacFarlane had met Druyan through Tyson at the 2008 kickoff event for the Science and Entertainment Exchange, a new LA office of the National Academy of Sciences, designed to connect Hollywood writers and directors with scientists. A year later, at a 2009 lunch in NYC with Tyson, MacFarlane learned of their interest to recreate Cosmos. He was influenced by Cosmos as a child, believing that Cosmos served to "[bridge] the gap between the academic community and the general public". MacFarlane had considered that the reduction of effort for space travel in recent decades to be part of "our culture of lethargy". MacFarlane, who has several animated shows on the Fox Network, was able to bring Druyan to meet the heads of Fox programming, Peter Rice and Kevin Reilly, and helped to get the greenlighting of the show. MacFarlane admits that he is "the least essential person in this equation" and the effort is a departure from work he's done before, but considers this to be "very comfortable territory for [himself] personally". He and Druyan have become close friends, and Druyan stated that she believed that Sagan and MacFarlane would have been "kindred spirits" with their respective "protean talents".

(Full Wikipedia article)

Categories: Ann Druyan, Carl Sagan, Cosmos, Fox TV, National Geographic, Neil deGrasse Tyson, PBS, Science, Seth McFarlane, Steven Soter, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Going boldly... insane

Published Wednesday, July 03, 2013 @ 7:22 AM EDT
Jul 03 2013

After John Larroquette played the Klingon crew member "Maltz" in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984) and before Brent Spiner went on to play Data in Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987), the pair appeared together in a half-dozen episodes of NBC's Night Court. Larroquette won four Emmys as assistant district attorney Dan Fielding; Spiner played Bob Wheeler, a Yugoslavian immigrant with a West Virginian accent and incredibly bad luck.

Categories: John Larroquette, Night Court, Star Trek, TV, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Eligible for Social Security: David Letterman

Published Friday, April 12, 2013 @ 6:21 AM EDT
Apr 12 2013

David Letterman (born April 12, 1947) is an American television host and comedian. He hosts the late night television talk show, Late Show with David Letterman, broadcast on CBS. Letterman has been a fixture on late night television since the 1982 debut of Late Night with David Letterman on NBC. Letterman recently surpassed friend and mentor Johnny Carson for having the longest late-night hosting career on US television. (Click for full Wikipedia article.


Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

I saw a robin redbreast in Central Park today, but it turned out to be a sparrow with an exit wound.

I'm a magical being. Take off your bra. (From Top Ten Elven Pickup Lines)

Ivory Soap: 99.44 percent pure, .56 percent deadly radon gas.

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

The next time, for God's sake, let's at least do a background check before we make someone President.

The Post Office is raising the price of postage. Hey, ammo's expensive.

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Two creative spirits in a relationship, I don't think that's the best way to go.

When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?

You look into his eyes, and you get the feeling someone else is driving.

Categories: David Letterman, Eligible for Social Security, Quotes of the day, TV


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

When Things Were Rotten

Published Monday, December 10, 2012 @ 7:11 AM EST
Dec 10 2012

On December 10, 1975, the 13th and final episode of Mel Brooks' When Things Were Rotten aired on ABC.

Hoping to do for the Middle Ages what Blazing Saddles did for the Old West, the absurdist comedy premiered in the top 20 but quickly tanked. A critical success, it couldn't survive in its Wednesday 8 pm time slot opposite Tony Orlando and Dawn on CBS and Little House on the Prairie on NBC.

In that primitive age- before the Internet, before DVRs, yea, verily, even before Betamaxes- moms and dads opted for musical variety and wholesome viewing on the family's two television sets.

It was a shame. In addition to Brooks, the series boasted top-name talent. The show's bouncy theme was written by Charles Strouse and Lee Adams, the guys who did Bye Bye Birdie, Applause, and Annie. Four episodes were directed by Peter Hunt, better known for directing the Tony-winning musical 1776 and its movie adaptation.

And it featured great stuff like:

Villain: "Are you ready to tell that to your maker?"

Victim (to camera): "Mel! I didn't do it!"

(YouTube video: Opening credits and theme, "When Things Were Rotten")

Once upon a time when things were rotten
Not just food but also kings were rotten
Everybody kicked the peasants
Things were bad and that ain't good
Then came Robin Hood... ba-bah!

Soon the band of Merry Men begotten
They wore outfits made of plain green cotton
Helping victims was their business
Boy oh boy was business good
Good for Robin Hood!

They laughed, they loved, they fought, they drank
They jumped a lot of fences
They robbed the rich, gave to the poor
Except what they kept for expenses!

So when other legends are fogotten
We'll remember back when things were rotten
Yay for Robin Hood!

Categories: Blazing Saddles, Mel Brooks, TV, When Things Were Rotten, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page


Published Wednesday, December 05, 2012 @ 5:45 AM EST
Dec 05 2012

This might be what finally motivates me to get a Blu-Ray player. The third season of Star Trek: The Next Generation was when the show finally jelled. Most of my favorite episodes come from that year: "Who Watches the Watchers?"; "Déjà Q"; "Yesterday's Enterprise"; "The Offspring"; "The Most Toys"; and the terrific cliffhanger, "The Best of Both Worlds".

(YouTube video: Star Trek: Next Generation - Season Three Blu-Ray trailer from CBS Home Entertainment. Turn off the lights, be sure you're in hi-def, go to full screen and crank up the sound.)

Categories: Patrick Stewart, Photo of the day, Star Trek, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly..."

Published Thursday, November 22, 2012 @ 8:30 AM EST
Nov 22 2012

WKRP in Cincinnati: "Turkeys Away" (Season 1, Episode 7, aired 10/30/1978)
Mr. Carlson is beginning to feel useless at the new formatted rock station so he decides to create a big Thanksgiving Day promotion. His idea? Get a helicopter, with a banner attached to it saying "Happy Thanksgiving From WKRP", and drop live turkeys from the helicopter. What could go wrong?

(YouTube video: "The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement!")

See the full episode on Hulu.

Categories: Holidays, Hulu, TV, Video, WKRP in Cincinnati, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Happy birthday, Dick and Larry

Published Monday, November 19, 2012 @ 12:05 AM EST
Nov 19 2012

Larry King is 79 today; Dick Cavett is 76.

Two legendary talk show hosts with entirely different personalities and approaches; yet the prosaic King and the cosmopolitan Cavett both killed on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson earlier this year.

(YouTube video: Larry King inhabits the body of Geoff the Robot. Hilarity ensues.)

(YouTube video: Including such delights as a joke based on an obscure reference to Edward Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.)

Categories: Craig Ferguson, Dick Cavett, Larry King, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

The Wrath of the Whatever from High Atop The Thing

Published Tuesday, November 13, 2012 @ 12:55 AM EST
Nov 13 2012

Failure to write a concession speech is what sealed Mitt Romney's fate:

(YouTube video: "Election Night" episode, The West Wing)

Sam Seaborn: You wrote a concession?
Toby Ziegler: Of course I wrote a concession. You want to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing?
Sam Seaborn: No.
Toby Ziegler: Then go outside, turn around three times and spit. What the hell's the matter with you?

Categories: Elections, Mitt Romney, Politics, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Political joke of the day, Presidential edition

Published Thursday, October 25, 2012 @ 7:59 AM EDT
Oct 25 2012

(YouTube video: President Obama answers Jay Leno's question, "What's this thing with Trump and you?" )

Categories: Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Elections, Jay Leno, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Happy birthday, Johnny!

Published Tuesday, October 23, 2012 @ 12:29 AM EDT
Oct 23 2012

John William “Johnny” Carson (October 23, 1925 - January 23, 2005) was an American television host and comedian, known for 30 years as host of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962–1992). Carson received six Emmy Awards, the Governor Award, and a 1985 Peabody Award. He was inducted into the Television Academy Hall of Fame in 1987. Johnny Carson was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1992 and received a Kennedy Center Honor in 1993. Although his show was already successful by the end of the 1960s, during the 1970s Carson became an American icon and remained so until his retirement in 1992. Click for full article.

(A portion of David Letterman's 2005 tribute show for Johnny Carson.)

Visit our Johnny Carson page.


One of Carson's funniest routines was Carnac the Magnificent, an alleged psychic who would hold to his head a sealed envelope, divine and announce the answer, then open the envelope and read the question. He adapted the bit from routines previously performed by Steve Allen and Ernie Kovacs, but Carson perfected the format.

Herewith are some of the more memorable Carnac gags. For the complete list, go to the source at www.nightscribe.com, But be certain to watch the video at the end...

A: Peter Pan.
Q: What do you use to fry a peter?

A: Mount Baldy.
Q: How do you play piggyback with Telly Savales?

A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.
Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?

A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday.
Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles.

A: Black and white and twenty feet tall.
Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong.

A: An unmarried woman.
Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, 1952?

A: Cyclone.
Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy?

A: ”Hi diddly dee.“
Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly dee?

A: The Orient express.
Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice?

A: Gatorade.
Q: What does an alligator get on welfare?

A: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.
Q: What's the best thing to do if you swallow a hand grenade?

A: Until he gets caught.
Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve?

A: Kumquat.
Q: What do you say when calling your quat?

A: Defrost.
Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass?

A: Gunga din.
Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga?

A: Igloo.
Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off?

A: Shoo be doo be doo.
Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo be doo be?

A: Trapper John.
Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand?

A: Rub-a-dub-dub.
Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub?

A: Zeppo Marx.
Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zeppo?

A: Touchback.
Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?

A: The big ten.
Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe contest.

A: All the President's Men.
Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture?

A: Bifocal.
Q: Name a focal that goes both ways.

A: Timbuktu.
Q: What comes after Timbuk one?

A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S.
Q: How does a stupid person spell “backgammon?”

A: Jello and “Charlie's Angels.”
Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk?

A: The Loch Ness Monster.
Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa?

A: The diamond lane.
Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church?

A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder.
Q: Describe Mick Jagger's nose.

A: Putting on the dog.
Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree?

A: "Yes man."
Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman says?

A: You asked for it.
Q: How do you get it?

A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and the candidates' campaign promises.
Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock.

A: Groundhog.
Q: What's in Jimmy Dean's sausages?

(The best of Carnac.)

Categories: Johnny Carson, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Silver Trek

Published Friday, September 28, 2012 @ 12:05 AM EDT
Sep 28 2012

Star Trek: The Next Generation (ST:TNG) premiered 25 years ago today, the week of September 28, 1987, to an eager audience of 27 million viewers. With seven seasons and 178 episodes, ST:TNG surpassed the original series' 79 episodes and three year (1966-1969) run on NBC. ST:TNG's two-hour finale, "All Good Things...", aired the week of May 23, 1994. Both series were created by Gene Roddenberry. ST:TNG is set in the 24th century, 80 years after than the original series.

TNG was broadcast in first-run syndication. Like the original series, it remains popular in syndicated reruns. Three additional Star Trek spin-offs followed The Next Generation: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993–1999), Star Trek: Voyager (1995–2001), and Star Trek: Enterprise (2001–2005). There are also 22 half-hour episodes of Star Trek: The Animated Series which originally aired on Saturday mornings on NBC in 1973-74.

In its seventh season, Star Trek: The Next Generation became the first syndicated television show to be nominated for the Emmy Award for Best Dramatic Series. The show received numerous recognitions, including Emmy Awards, Hugo Awards, and a Peabody Award. Click for the full Wikipedia article.

"Relics," TNG's 130th episode (the fourth episode of the sixth season), features James Doohan as Montgomery Scott, the legendary chief engineer of the original series. Technobabbled into the 24th century, this is no mere cameo appearance. Scotty appears to be an antique out of time but -of course- he ends up saving another starship named Enterprise. And kudos to LeVar Burton (Geordi LaForge) for holding his own in the presence of an iconic scenery chewer.

Categories: Gene Roddenberry, James (Jimmy) Doohan, Jimmy Doohan, LeVar Burton, Montgomery Scott, Star Trek, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Happy birthday, Star Trek!

Published Saturday, September 08, 2012 @ 7:39 AM EDT
Sep 08 2012

President Barack Obama and Nichelle Nichols (Uhura)

The good news? Star Trek aired for the first time 46 years ago today.

The bad news? I remember watching its premier as a seventh grader, 46 years ago.

Live long and prosper, indeed.

Categories: Barack Obama, History, Nichelle Nichols, Photo of the day, Star Trek, TV


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Really, NBC?

Published Tuesday, July 31, 2012 @ 10:16 AM EDT
Jul 31 2012

Instead of showing the Olympic Opening Ceremony's tribute to the victims of the London 7/7 terrorist attack, NBC ran a tape of Ryan Seacrest interviewing Michael Phelps.

Remember what England did after 9/11?

(YouTube video of "The Star-Spangled Banner" performed at Buckingham Palace after 9/11.)

Categories: England, Olympics, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

If I had a Queen, I'd want it to be Elizabeth...

Published Friday, July 27, 2012 @ 10:49 PM EDT
Jul 27 2012

YouTube video of James Bond escorting Queen Elizabeth
to the Opening Ceremonies of the 2012 Olympics.
With Corgis!

Categories: Daniel Craig, Dogs, James Bond, Olympics, Queen Elizabeth, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

You know we're in trouble...

Published Saturday, July 21, 2012 @ 2:06 PM EDT
Jul 21 2012

...when "satire" in The Onion is about the only honest, objective view you'll get of this abysmal situation.

Sadly, Nation Knows Exactly How Colorado
Shooting's Aftermath Will Play Out

(The Onion, July 20, 2012)

WASHINGTON-Americans across the nation confirmed today that, unfortunately, due to their extreme familiarity with the type of tragedy that occurred in a Colorado movie theater last night, they sadly know exactly how the events following the horrific shooting of 12 people will unfold.

While admitting they "absolutely hate" the fact they have this knowledge, the nation's 300 million citizens told reporters they can pinpoint down to the hour when the first candlelight vigil will be held, roughly how many people will attend, how many times the county sheriff will address the media in the coming weeks, and when the town-wide memorial service will be held.

Additionally, sources nationwide took no pleasure in confirming that some sort of video recording, written material, or disturbing photographs made by the shooter will be surfacing in about an hour or two.

"I hate to say it, but we as Americans are basically experts at this kind of thing by now,” said 45-year-old market analyst Jared Gerson, adding that the number of media images of Aurora, CO citizens crying and looking shocked is “pretty much right in line with where it usually is at this point." "The calls not to politicize the tragedy should be starting in an hour, but by 1:30 p.m. tomorrow the issue will have been politicized. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if the shooter's high school classmate is interviewed within 45 minutes."

"It's like clockwork," said Gerson, who sighed, shook his head, and walked away.

According to the nation's citizenry, calls for a mature, thoughtful debate about the role of guns in American society started right on time, and should persist throughout the next week or so. However, the populace noted, the debate will soon spiral out of control and ultimately lead to nothing of any substance, a fact Americans everywhere acknowledged they felt "absolutely horrible" to be aware of.

With scalpel-like precision, the American populace then went on to predict, to the minute, how long it will take for the media to swarm Aurora, CO, how long it will take for them to leave, and exactly when questions will be raised as to whether or not violence in movies and video games had something to do with the act.

The nation's citizens also confirmed that, any time now, some religious figure or cable news personality will say something unbelievably insensitive about the tragic shooting.

"Unfortunately, I've been through this a lot, and I pretty much have it down to a science when President Obama will visit Colorado, when he will meet with the families of those who lost loved ones, and when he will give his big speech that people will call 'unifying' and 'very presidential,'" Jacksonville resident Amy Brennen, 32, said, speaking for every other person in the country. "Nothing really surprises me when it comes to this kind of thing anymore. And that makes me feel terrible."

"Oh, and here's another thing I hate I know," Brennen continued, "In exactly two weeks this will all be over and it will be like it never happened."

Categories: Barack Obama, Hypocrisy, News Media, Observations, Politics, Questions for the Ages, Religion, Second Amendment, The Onion, TV, U.S. Constitution


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

"Too Big To Fail"

Published Sunday, July 08, 2012 @ 12:14 AM EDT
Jul 08 2012

This scene from the 2011 HBO film succinctly explains why financial markets collapsed in 2008. The film pops up from time to time on HBO and various online sources. It's worth watching.

(YouTube video: pivotal scene from "Too Big To Fail")

Categories: Dialogue of the day, Movies, Too Big To Fail, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

We appreciate it

Published Tuesday, July 03, 2012 @ 11:11 AM EDT
Jul 03 2012

(YouTube video, The Andy Griffith Show: "Opie the Birdman")

When I remember watching Andy and Opie and Barney and Aunt Bee, I can't help but smile. There's no greater compliment.

Andrew Samuel "Andy" Griffith (June 1, 1926 – July 3, 2012) was an American actor, director, producer, Grammy Award-winning Southern-gospel singer, and writer. He gained prominence in the starring role in director Elia Kazan's A Face in the Crowd (1957) before he became better known for his television roles, playing the lead characters in the 1960–1968 situation comedy The Andy Griffith Show and in the 1986–1995 legal drama Matlock. Griffith died on July 3, 2012 at the age of 86. (Click here for full article.)

Categories: Andy Griffith, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

I miss these guys

Published Thursday, February 18, 2010 @ 10:28 PM EST
Feb 18 2010

Categories: Conan O'Brien, TV, Video, YouTube


KGB Stuff   Commentwear   E-Mail KGB

Donate via PayPal

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

« Turtles
Home Page
Tweety »