KGB Report

TBT (1988) - Ralph was the dog with whom my kids grew up (1981-1995) and was, frankly, the only one who listened to me. We thought he was a mutt until the vet identified him as a Belgian Sheepdog.

I named him Ralph after the character on The Greatest American Hero, only to discover the name, derived from German and old English, means "Wolf-Counsel".

Ralph's ashes are under a bronze plaque in the back yard with the line "Our Sweet Beast." When I mentioned to my mother that Ralph's memorial, which had a raised sculpture of his head, cost significantly more than the plaque for my father's grave, she noted, "Well, Ralph was a good boy."

(Side note- with the total of 12 dogs and five cats that have graced us over the years, I think I have more remains on the property than John Wayne Gacy).

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Categories: Dogs, KGB Family

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More than 230 people die in shootings over the Fourth of July weekend.

Up to 1,500 businesses affected by ransomware attack, U.S. firm's CEO says.

Study links early-onset colorectal cancer with sugar-sweetened drinks. (Video)

Pfizer's COVID-19 vaccine is less effective at preventing Delta variant infections (64%) than other variants (94.3%), but still protects against severe illness, preliminary Israeli study says.

The U.S. military is testing a pill that could delay aging.

Beware of "shrinkflation,"" inflation's devious cousin. "Consumers tend to be price conscious. But they're not net-weight conscious. They can tell instantly if they're used to paying $2.99 for a carton of orange juice and that goes up to $3.19. But if the orange juice container goes from 64 ounces to 59 ounces, they're probably not going to notice."

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From Crazytown:

QAnon followers think secret trials will be held for COVID rule enforcers- 'Nuremberg 2.0'.

QAnon spreads Biden photo online claiming it shows Trump is secretly in the White House.

The Trump kids look likely to turn on their dad... Ivanka will go first. The former president is not in immediate danger of jail, but his problems are piling up fast. Not least the fact that, in his family, loyalty means nothing.

GETTR, the pro-Trump social media platform, gottrd hacked on its launch day.

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KGB's daily agglomeration of stuff I find interesting:

Among other things, today is

• Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day
• Global Forgiveness Day
• National Dive Bar Day
• National Macaroni Day
• National Strawberry Sundae Day
• Tell the Truth Day
• World Chocolate Day

On this date:

• 1456 - A retrial verdict acquitted Joan of Arc of heresy 25 years after her death.
• 1863 - The United States began its first military draft; exemptions cost $300.
• 1865 - Mary Surratt, Lewis Powell, David Herold and George Atzerodt were executed for their role in the conspiracy to assassinate US President Abraham Lincoln
• 1907 - Florenz Ziegfeld Jr. staged his first Follies on the roof of the New York Theater in New York City.
• 1928 - Sliced bread was sold for the first time (on the inventor's 48th birthday) by the Chillicothe Baking Company of Chillicothe, Missouri.
• 1930 - Construction begins on Boulder (Hoover) Dam
• 1954 - Elvis Presley made his radio debut when WHBQ Memphis played his first recording for Sun Records, "That's All Right". (Video)
• 1981 - US President Ronald Reagan appointed Sandra Day O'Connor to become the first female member of the Supreme Court of the United States.
• 1992 - The New York Court of Appeals ruled that women have the same right as men to go topless in public.
• 2035 - Launch date of NASA's Aries 3 mission to Mars in the novel and movie "The Martian"

Birthdays

• 1860 - Gustav Mahler, Austrian composer and conductor (d. 1911) (Video)
• 1899 - George Cukor, American director and producer (d. 1983) (Video)
• 1901 - Sam Katzman, American director and producer (d. 1973)
• 1906 - Satchel Paige, American baseball player and coach (d. 1982)
• 1907 - Robert A. Heinlein, American science fiction writer and screenwriter (d. 1988) (Video)
• 1927 - Doc Severinsen, American trumpet player and conductor (Video)
• 1933 - David McCullough, American historian and author
• 1940 - Ringo Starr, English singer-songwriter, drummer, and actor (Video)
• 1949 - Shelley Duvall, American actress, writer, and producer (Video)
• 1963 - Vonda Shepard, American singer-songwriter and actress (Video)
• 1966 - Jim Gaffigan, American comedian, actor, producer, and screenwriter

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Miscellany

Remembering Richard Donner: With "Superman" and the "Lethal Weapon" Films, he made the blockbuster era both bigger and smaller. Trivia: Donner directed all the live action segments of the first season of Hanna-Barbera's kid show, "The Banana Splits."

Please stop putting garlic up your nose on TikTok, doctors request.

Man bitten by neighbor's escaped python while sitting on the toilet. Why was the python sitting on the toilet?

Labor Department announces plans to stop counting jobs and just enjoy economy.(satire: The Onion)

Charlotte flight to Bahamas canceled when high schoolers refuse to wear masks.

There is a sunken continent hidden under Iceland and scientists dubbed it Icelandia. Other Iceland news: Four-day work week 'an overwhelming success' in Iceland.

Time to cancel police dogs, experts say. Police K-9s are "grossly, disproportionately" used against people of color, inflict gruesome lifelong injuries, and often attack people who have committed minor crimes. I oppose their use because the dogs are unaware of the danger in which they're often placed. To them, it's just a game.

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Categories: Covid-19, Dogs, Fact check, Health, Inflation, Mass shootings, QAnon, Ransomware, Richard Donner, UFOs

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(Note: KGB Report will be on vacation until June 28)

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Another jump in prices tightens the squeeze on US consumers. And Deutsche Bank issues dire economic warning for America. If the U.S. economy descends into an inflation spiral like that experienced after World War II, we could be on the brink of excruciating economic pain. As Donald Trump's more or less sole lender, they know about economic pain.

Why Democrats are voting on bills that have no chance of passing. A vote on the Paycheck Fairness Act this week marked the start of this process, which will soon include votes on a series of Democratic priorities that will likely fail. These votes are intended to demonstrate Democrats’ commitment to issues like voting rights protections and gun control, while underscoring how willing Republicans are to obstruct these policies.

Half of the pandemic's unemployment money may have been stolen. Criminals may have stolen as much as half of the unemployment benefits the U.S. has been pumping out over the past year, some experts say.

You know those scary television ads about Biden weaponizing the IRS? You really have nothing to worry about if you're a normal person or business. The plan is aimed at legally owed but uncollected taxes, which could total over $7 trillion over the next ten years.

These businesses found a way around the worker shortage: Raising wages to $15 an hour or more.

Study shows Bitcoin is actually traceable. The F.B.I.’s recovery of Bitcoins paid in the Colonial Pipeline ransomware attack showed cryptocurrencies are not as hard to track as it might seem. But ransomware rolls on: JBS says it paid $11 million ransom after cyberattack. And hacker known as Max is 55-year-old woman from Russia, US says.

National Geographic says there’s a fifth ocean on Earth. The 130-year-old exploration and education nonprofit marked World Oceans Day on Tuesday by declaring that the waters around Antarctica will now be known as the Southern Ocean - the planet’s fifth ocean.

Americans could be cut off from the internet over copyright claims. A court ruled that ISPs can avoid liability by kicking customers off the internet. The ruling is being challenged.

Well, this is awkward: Jeffrey Toobin is back at CNN eight months after exposing himself on Zoom.

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From Crazytown:

No, Trump's not delusional - it's actually much worse than that. Trump's Big Lie about the election and fantasies of "reinstatement" aren't delusional. They're devious strategies./p>

21 QAnon-linked candidates are running for office in 2022. Newsweek asked them about Q. Lots of fun evasions here.

Gohmert asks if federal agencies can change Earth's or moon's orbits to fight climate change. "Did the tree lady call back with the moon answer?" (Video)

Poll: US image abroad rebounds sharply with Biden in office. In 12 of the surveyed countries, a median of 75% expressed confidence in Biden, compared with 17% for Trump in 2020. A median of 62% across 12 nations had a favorable overall opinion of the U.S., while only 34% held that view last year.

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KGB's daily agglomeration of stuff I find interesting:

Among other things, today is

• Corn on the Cob Day
• Cousteau Day
• King Kamehameha Day
• National German Chocolate Cake Day
• National Making Life Beautiful Day
• National Marriage Day

On this date:

• 1742 - Benjamin Franklin invented his Franklin stove
• 1776 - The Continental Congress appointed Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Roger Sherman, and Robert R. Livingston to the Committee of Five to draft a declaration of independence.
• 1920 - During the U.S. Republican National Convention in Chicago, U.S. Republican Party leaders gathered in a room at the Blackstone Hotel to come to a consensus on their candidate for the U.S. presidential election, leading United Press to coin the political phrase "smoke-filled room".
• 1935 - Inventor Edwin Armstrong gave the first public demonstration of FM broadcasting in the United States at Alpine, New Jersey.
• 1962 - Frank Morris, John Anglin and Clarence Anglin allegedly became the only prisoners to escape from the prison on Alcatraz Island.
• 1963 - Alabama Governor George Wallace defiantly stood at the door of Foster Auditorium at the University of Alabama in an attempt to block two black students, Vivian Malone and James Hood, from attending that school. Later in the day, accompanied by federalized National Guard troops, they were able to register.
• 1963 - Buddhist monk Thich Quang Duc self-immolated himself with gasoline in a busy Saigon intersection to protest the lack of religious freedom in South Vietnam.
• 1963 - John F. Kennedy addressed Americans from the Oval Office proposing the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which would revolutionize American society by guaranteeing equal access to public facilities, ending segregation in education, and guaranteeing federal protection for voting rights. (Video)
• 2001 - Timothy McVeigh was executed for his role in the Oklahoma City bombing.
• 1937 - Marx Brothers' "A Day At The Races", was released in the US (Video)
• 1982 - "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial" was released (Video)
• 1993 - "Jurassic Park" released, sets box office weekend record of $502 million (Video)

Birthdays

• 1864 - Richard Strauss, German composer and conductor (d. 1949) (Video)
• 1910 - Carmine Coppola, American flute player and composer (d. 1991)(Video)
• 1910 - Jacques Cousteau, French biologist, author, and inventor, co-developed the aqua-lung (d. 1997)
• 1913 - Vince Lombardi, American football player, coach, and manager (d. 1970
• 1925 - William Styron, American novelist and essayist
• 1933 - Gene Wilder, American actor, director, and screenwriter (d. 2016) (Video)
• 1945 - Adrienne Barbeau, American actress
• 1956 - Joe Montana, American football player and sportscaster
• 1959 - Hugh Laurie, English actor and screenwriter (Video)
• 1969 - Peter Dinklage, American actor and producer (Video)

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Miscellany

Dog ejected from vehicle in Idaho crash found herding sheep.

We've been telling the Alamo story wrong for nearly 200 years. Now it's time to correct the record. Thank heavens John Wayne isn't around to hear this...

Ice block containing frozen poo crashes into the street from passing airplane. At least it wasn't alien.

Automobile semiconductors, meat, wood products, food service employees... what next? Glad you asked: New Orleans strip club offering contract bonuses due to exotic dancer shortage.

Signs of the Apocalypse: Crocs with stiletto heels.

Zombie sea slugs (video) and dangerous little ticks.

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KGB Merch

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Categories: Alamo, Bitcoin, CNN, Cryptocurrency, Democrats, Dogs, Donald Trump, Environment, Filibuster, Inflation, Internet, IRS, Jeffrey Toobin, Joe Biden, Louie Gohmert, National Geographic, QAnon, Republicans, Taxes, The Big Lie, Unemployment

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One of the problems associated with being thrown into Facebook jail is ignorance of the alleged offense.

The announcement states that your post has violated Facebook's "Community Standards," a dense, 27-page litany of offenses that will get you kicked off the platform.

I found the section which I believe addresses my post:

"We care deeply about the safety of the people who use our apps. We regularly consult with experts in suicide and self-injury to help inform our policies and enforcement, and work with organizations around the world to provide assistance to people in distress.

"While we do not allow people to intentionally or unintentionally celebrate or promote suicide or self-injury, we do allow people to discuss these topics because we want Facebook to be a space where people can share their experiences, raise awareness about these issues, and seek support from one another."

"We define self-injury as the intentional and direct injuring of the body, including self-mutilation and eating disorders. We remove any content that encourages suicide or self-injury, including fictional content such as memes or illustrations and any self-injury content which is graphic, regardless of context."

Here's the offending cartoon:

I maintain this isn't a cartoon about suicide- it's a cartoon addressing the power of social media to influence otherwise sane people to do insane things. If anything, it's an anti-suicide cartoon.

I've appealed prior suspensions and won, because it was obvious the artificially intelligent bot or stressed human outside contractor didn't grasp the concepts of satire, parody, or irony and made a bad call. Most of the time Facebook admitted it was in error and unhid the post. But I don't think it's going to work in this instance, because self-injury is one of those categories of which Facebook seems to have a zero tolerance policy. There is no way to contact any human at Facebook to offer a defense. And a small potatoes page administrator with a mere 10,134 followers really can't create enough media outrage to get Facebook executives involved.

I suspect Facebook adopted this policy to aggregate a number it can use in its "we're doing our best, but we can't catch everything" defense. They can point to their mountain of context-free suspensions and say, "Look, we suspended n accounts in the last month for violating our policy against self-injury."

Supplementary viewing/reading:

25+ best memes about jumping off a cliff

Little evidence supports the claimed effectiveness of zero-tolerance policies.

"The whole principle is wrong (censorship); it's like demanding that grown men live on skim milk because the baby can't eat steak."
-Robert A. Heinlein

"The written word will soon disappear and we'll no longer be able to read good prose like we used to could. This prospect does not gentle my thoughts or tranquil me toward the future."
-James Thurber

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"The first way to answer the questions in the song ('Blowin' in the Wind') is by asking them. But lots of people first have to find the wind."
-Bob Dylan (born Robert Allen Zimmerman. He's 80 today.)

Actor Gary Burghoff is 78 today. The video above is the 1984 pilot episode of a M*A*S*H spinoff that wasn't picked up.

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The first text message: On this day in 1844, Samuel Morse sent the message "What hath God wrought" (a biblical quotation, Numbers 23:23) from a committee room in the United States Capitol to his assistant, Alfred Vail, in Baltimore, Maryland, to inaugurate a commercial telegraph line between Baltimore and Washington D.C.

On this day in 1940, Igor Sikorsky performed the first successful single-rotor helicopter flight.

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NOT REAL NEWS: a look at what didn't happen last week.

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Pentagon's UFO footage- and Obama's curiosity- ratchet up expectations for a big reveal. When Congress passed the $2.3 trillion omnibus appropriations bill in December, it included a requirement that the Pentagon and a number of intelligence agencies prepare a report laying out what they know about UAPs (unidentified aerial phenomena), which is the new military-speak for UFOs. The report is expected to be delivered as early as June 1, and at least part of it will be made available to the public.

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Good news for a Monday morning: "...greater coffee consumption is associated with a decreased risk of all-cause mortality."

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Liz Cheney's GOP primary challenger admits to impregnating 14-year-old when he was 18. Liz Cheney's GOP primary challenger admits to impregnating 14-year-old when he was 18. The Facebook video he released, called "Senator Bouchard takes on the fake news media," claimed "I was young" and "you've heard those stories before. She was a little younger than me, so it's like the Romeo and Juliet story," he said, neglecting several glaring differences like the Shakespearean characters were fictional and neither was running for Congress in the so-called "family values" party.

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Can the news be fixed? The fix is already in. Oh, you mean like repaired.

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The Great Amazon Purge... "About three weeks ago, several major Amazon brands were suddenly kicked out. Most people were unaware of the names of more than 12 disappearing Chinese companies, such as Mpow and Aukey. However, these two sell a number of electronic devices, such as phone chargers and external batteries for smartphones. If you click "Buy" on Amazon's first phone charger or wireless headphones, it could be from one of the sellers currently suspended."

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Alabama will now allow yoga in its public schools (but students can't say 'namaste'). But on the other hand, Alabama becomes latest state to legalize medical marijuana.

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Life as we know it:

Solar storms are back, threatening life as we know it on Earth.

A massive heat dome is about to make the Southeast sweat. "Temperatures starting on Monday will run between 10-15 degrees above normal, and border on record maximum temperatures, both for daily highs and lows."

Spermageddon: Could men be infertile by 2045? One word: parthenogenesis.

New coronavirus discovered- and dogs are spreading it. It could be the eighth coronavirus known to cause illnesses in humans.

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Categories: Alabama, amazon.com, Anthony Bouchard, Bob Dylan, Coffee, Covert Comic, Dogs, Drugs, Facebook, Fact check, Gary Burghoff, Helicopters, Igor Sikorsky, James Thurber, January 6, Liz Cheney, M*A*S*H, News Media, Republicans, Robert A. Heinlein, Romeo and Juliet, Samuel Morse, Self-injury, Spermageddon, Suicide, Telegraph, The Sun, Weather, William Shakespeare

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With all the police shootings and references to "bad apples," this is worth revisiting..

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Thought of the day: "I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."
-Ludwig Wittgenstein (26 April 1889 – 29 April 1951) (More Ludwig Wittgenstein quotes)

Along those lines, Experts say humanity faces a grim and "ghastly future"– state of planet is much worse than most people understand. But then, if you're not rich, good news: You're probably getting a tax cut.

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AP Fact Check- all the news that didn't happen last week.

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Millions are skipping their second doses of COVID vaccines. More than 5 million people, or nearly 8% of those who got a first shot of the Pfizer or Moderna vaccines, have missed their second doses, according to the most recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That is more than double the rate among people who got inoculated in the first several weeks of the nationwide vaccine campaign. Meanwhile, virus 'swallowing' people in India; crematoriums overwhelmed. And Alaska Airlines has banned Alaska state senator Lora Reinbold for her continued refusal to comply with employee instruction regarding the current mask policy.

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IRS is holding millions of tax returns, delaying refunds. We filed with TurboTax the first day the IRS began accepting returns, and had our refund in just ten days.

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Innumeracy: Wandering through the produce department of Giant Eagle over the weekend, I strolled past a rather large display of fresh strawberries. There were two groups: one pound containers, which appeared to be selling faster than the adjacent two pound packages. The sign said the one pound packages were on sale: two for $6. The two pound packages were $4.99. So the one pound packages cost $3 per pound, while the two pound packages were about $2.50 per pound. Canned and packaged goods on the self usually have a unit cost on their price stickers which show the cost of the item per ounce. Take a close look the next time you're at the store... that "large economy size" actually costs more than the "standard" size.

Speaking of grocery stores, I was engaged in a discussion with a lady in the checkout line who was asserting that cats were better overall pets than dogs. I have nothing against cats, but dogs are indisputably better companions; it's intrinsic to their make-up. Compare a 20 pound dog to a 150 pound dog. Aside from size, they're, well, dogs. Compare a 20 pound cat to a 150 pound cat. The former is a house pet, the latter is something that's higher on the food chain than you.

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Quotation trivia: "What fresh hell can this be?" is a line that has been attributed many times to Shakespeare but is actually from American author/critic/poet and wit Dorothy Parker. She is reported to have used the phrase when interrupted by a telephone. She then started using it in place of "hello" when answering the phone. In many ways she can be considered the patron saint of all tech support workers. (More Dorothy Parker quotations.)

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This would be funny if it weren't a direct threat to our democracy:

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Don't be evil: Google shifted more than $75.4 billion (£63 billion) in profits out of the Republic using the controversial "double-Irish" tax arrangement in 2019, the last year in which it used the loophole.

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Cheerleader's Snapchat rant leads to 'momentous' Supreme Court case on student speech. ...an adolescent outburst and the adult reaction to it has arrived at the Supreme Court, where it could determine how the First Amendment's protection of free speech applies to the off-campus activities of the nation's 50 million public school students.

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Why are there no horse-sized rabbits?

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Among other things, today is Alien Day, Audubon Day, Get Organized Day, Hug a Friend Day, Hug an Australian Day, International Chernobyl Disaster Remembrance Day, National Dissertation Day, National Help a Horse Day, National Kids and Pets Day, National Pretzel Day, National Richter Scale Day, National Static Cling Day, Pesach Sheni, and World Intellectual Property Day.

On this date in 1986, a nuclear accident occurred at the No. 4 reactor in the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant, near the city of Pripyat in the north of the Ukrainian SSR. It is considered the worst nuclear disaster in history both in terms of cost and casualties, and is one of only two nuclear energy accidents rated at seven —the maximum severity— on the International Nuclear Event Scale, the other being the 2011 Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster in Japan. The initial emergency response, together with later decontamination of the environment, ultimately involved more than 500,000 personnel and cost an estimated 18 billion Soviet rubles— roughly US$68 billion in 2019, adjusted for inflation.

Remembering Vic Perrin, (April 26, 1916 – July 4, 1989) American radio, film, and television actor, perhaps best remembered for providing the "Control Voice" in the original version of the television series The Outer Limits (1963–1965).

Carol Burnett (b. April 26, 1933) is 88 today. Famous quote: "Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and pulling it over the top of your head." (More Carol Burnett quotes.)

Melania Trump (born Melanija Knavs, Germanized as Melania Knauss, on April 26, 1970) is 51 today.

Bobby Rydell (b. Robert Louis Ridarelli, April 26, 1942) is 79 today.

Giorgio Moroder (b. Giovanni Giorgio Moroder, April 26, 1940) is 81 today. An Italian composer, songwriter, and record producer, he has been called the "Father of Disco", and is credited with pioneering euro disco and electronic dance music. His work with synthesizers had a large influence on several music genres such as Hi-NRG, Italo disco, new wave, house and techno music.

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Andy Borowitz: Trump blasts Biden for firing almost no one in first hundred days. At the rate Biden is going, Trump said, "He's going to be looking across his desk at the same losers the entire time he's in office."

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I didn't watch the Academy Awards last night because the "pre-game" show featuring performances of the nominated songs left me underwhelmed. It reminded me of an Oscar performance so sublime that I remember it clearly 42 years later. Thanks to the miracle of YouTube, let's return to those thrilling days of yesteryear to the 51st Annual Academy Awards (1979), when they really knew how to pull out all the stops and put on a show. With lyrics by Fred Ebb and music by Larry Grossman, "Oscar's Only Human (Not Even Nominated)" featured Steve Lawrence and Sammy Davis Jr. performing a medley of outstanding songs that were not even nominated for a Best Original Song Oscar®.

If your song didn't win the Academy Award
And you're feeling dejected and deflated,
Imagine the shape you might have been in
If you hadn't even been nominated.

Running an impressive ten minutes, the Academy's music branch initially protested the segment and urged it be dropped from the ceremony. It remained after producer Jack Haley Jr. threatened to quit and take first-time emcee Johnny Carson with him.

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Categories: Alphabet, Andy Borowitz, Bobby Rydell, Carol Burnett, Cats, Chernobyl, Covid-19, Dogs, Dorothy Parker, First Amendment, Google, Ireland, IRS, Ludwig van Beethoven, Melania Trump, Strawberries, Supreme Court, Taxes, Vic Perrin

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Pumpkin, aka Felis catus homicidus

A study a few years back reported that dogs and cats contribute to injuries that send an estimated 87,000 people to emergency rooms every year.

Most of the injuries are falls, and most are caused by dogs.

Not in my house.

Our two remaining dogs have never tripped me. The Sheltie is blind, rather large, and easy to avoid. The small, insane dog-like creature (Shih Tzu) is nimble and aware of her size, so she deftly stays out of our paths.

Ah, but Pumpkin, the 21-year-old black cat... we've decided she is intentionally trying to kill us both. On average, my and wife and I trip over her at least three times a day. She likes sleeping at the top of the cellar steps, especially at night when she's virtually invisible.

Trip over a dog, and the animal immediately presents a regretful expression. You can almost hear them say "I'm sorry."

Trip over my cat, and you get an emotionless stare. Her regret seems to stem from the fact we're still erect and undamaged.

I'm seriously considering having her wear a belled collar, something she hasn't done since she was a kitten.

Come to think of it, that would piss her off even more. Guess we're just going to have to fix our gazes downward as we navigate through the house. And pray my suspicion is unwarranted... that the furry little queen hasn't taken out rather large life insurance policies on my wife and me.

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Categories: Cats, Dogs, KGB Family, The Daily KGB Report

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Instead of a bulky "Elizabethan" collar, we outfitted Pixie with a onesie that belonged to my wife's granddaughter. It worked quite well, keeping her from worrying her incision, making her feel she was being constantly snuggled, and weirding out the other animals so they wouldn't bother her.

She spent the first full day after surgery lying around, whimpering, and looking pitiful. We were a bit concerned. Then Pumpkin the cat, upset because there was no more gravy in her can of cat food, pushed it off the counter where she eats.

As soon as it hit the floor with a resounding splat, Pixie shot out of her bed and into the kitchen, in order to beat the Shelties to the tasty remnants of the cat's meal.

We're much relieved. Pixie is doing fine.

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Categories: Cats, Dogs, KGB

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"I hurt, I'm sleepy, and I'm never going to trust you again.

Pixie was spayed, had a deciduous tooth and a molar removed, and had an umbilical hernia repaired today. We dropped her off at the vet at 8:30 am and picked her up about 2:30pm.

The tech said everything went without a hitch. Perhaps, but that look in Pixie's eyes haunts me. I think I've lost her trust.

When we took her to the vet this morning, my wife stayed in the car. So the person who handed her over to the strangers who performed these atrocities to her person was me. When we rescued her from her torturers, Mom got a whimper and a tail wag. Me: nada.

Pixie's still rather out of it. She's been mostly asleep all day, and just had a little bit of chicken and some water. I'm downstairs working in my office; she's upstairs sleeping in her dog bed with her blanket and her stuffed bunny, with Mom sleeping just a few feet away.

Dogs are nothing if not forgiving and conduits of unconditional love, so I'm sure Pixie and I will be as right as rain in a few days. Still, that look...

On the plus side, just a day after her flea treatment Pumpkin the 19 year old cat is back to her imperious yet affectionate self, tapping me on the leg when she wants fed and climbing on me whenever I lie on the couch, becoming her soft, warm piece of human furniture.

I didn't sleep last night, worrying about Pix, and I have to work late tonight to catch up on everything I didn't do yesterday. Life goes on.

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If you have a chance, watch the Tom Hanks movie A Hologram For The King. It's about a divorced, self-doubting, desperate American salesman who has to put on a demo for the king of Saudi Arabia. As someone who's had to do demos in a non-English speaking country under adverse conditions, I could really identify with Hanks' character.

A relatively small film, it cost $30 million but grossed only $4.7 million in the US, where it played for 11 weeks. Its widest release was just 523 theaters. It has the dubious distinction of being the lowest grossing film to feature Tom Hanks in top billing since 1986's Every Time We Say Goodbye, which ran in only 83 theaters and grossed only $278,000.

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Categories: Cats, Dogs, KGB, Tom Hanks

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Capital One never called back, but the mysterious $299 pending charge has disappeared.

Had to endure another three-day "pre-authorization" wait to get a prescription refilled. It irks me that some clerk at an insurance company can interfere with the treatment prescribed by a board-certified physician with 20 years of experience.

Speaking of medical stuff, got my flu shot yesterday and beat the rush. Here's hopiing they guessed correctly about the strains that will be prevalent this winter. According to the manufacturer's website, it takes about three weeks to develop whatever immunity the vaccine will provide and, if I'm reading the chart correctly, it's supposed to be 60% effective, which, frankly, doesn't inspire confidence.

But I haven't had influenza for seven years running now. I did spend three days in the hospital in 2012 with mycoplasma pneumonia, a bacterial infection for which there is no effective vaccine. I asked my doctor about those pneumonia vaccine commercials which promise protection from 13 strains of the illness. He pointed out there are about 30 different types of pneumonia, and the two times I had it (another time back in the '80s), it was mycoplasma and therefore the vaccine would be ineffective. Incidentally, mycoplasma pneumonia is commonly referred to as "walking pneumonia." Still no vaccine for the boogie-woogie flu, either.

Pumpkin, the 19+ year old feline and senior lesser mammal is going to the vet today for her feline distemper vaccine. More importantly, I hope to find out the cause of a recent bout of ongoing hair loss (not shedding) and atypical behavior. Veterinarians are surprised when they discover her age. Her blood panels and dental condition are like those of a ten year old cat, at least at her last visit two months ago. She's taken to lying at the top of the steps and staring into space, unresponsive until you actually touch her. Her age is equivalent to a human in her mid-90s, so it's perhaps not unusual, but the rapid onset of the behavior has us concerned.

And tomorrow, the small, insane dog-like creature, Pixie the Shih Tzu, goes in to be spayed, have a breed-typical minor umbilical hernia repaired, and to have some deciduous (baby) teeth removed. In some dogs, the baby teeth don't fall out. This is also not unusual in Shih Tzus.

My first job out of high school was veterinary assistant. I've seen scores of spays, neuters, and other surgical procedures performed. The Doc never lost a patient or, for that matter, had to deal with any complications. That was 45 years ago, and there've been significant improvements in anesthesia and surgery procedures, but I have to confess I'm worried about the little stinker. Small dogs (she's 12.5 pounds) and brachycephalic breeds, including Shih Tsus, have more problems with anesthesia. They can suffer from hypothermia and hypoglycemia, and the squished face can cause breathing problems.

Anesthesia deaths in canines is rare, about 1 in 2000 (0.0005%). SHe's young and healthy, though, so I'm not going to worry about the surgery. Instead, I'm going to worry about how I'm going to keep that Elizabethan collar on her and prevent her from hurling herself from beds and couches, one of her favorite activities.

Her other favorite activity is napping with Dad. We'll try to focus on that.

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Categories: Capital One, Cats, Dogs, KGB Family

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(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Photo)

Not only did the Republicans nominate Trump for President, a red-bellied piranha was caught in North Park Lake. Ok, 2016, you win. Please stop.

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My son referenced a political thread in which he was engaged, and somehow the conversation turned into quotes from from the 1984 cult classic The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

My son noted, "Lectroid involvement would explain a lot about the Trump campaign."

Laugh while you can, monkey boys...

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Pixie, our small, insane, alien dog-like creature who resembes a Shih Tzu, behaved quite well for Dr. Joanna Rubin and her staff at Bridgeville Animal Hospital for her pre-spay exam. The thought of her reproducing is too terrifying to consider. (Pixie, not Joanna.)

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"Every word that comes out of Mike Pence's mouth reminds me that somewhere in rural Indiana, probably near Elkhart, a Quizno's is missing its assistant manager."
-Ed. Gin & Tacos (on Facebook)

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Today is Get to Know Your Customer Day, Invite an Alien to Live with You Day, Legal Drinking Age Day, National Junk Food Day, National Tug- Of-War Tournament Day, and Take a Monkey to Lunch Day.

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Watching the Republican National Convention, I keep expecting them to break out into "Springtime for Hitler."

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ACA out of detent. Mode control, both auto. Descent engine command override, off.
-Buzz Aldrin
(The actual first words spoken by a human from the surface of the Moon, July 20, 1969.)

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On The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore, Braddock mayor John Fetterman observed that since outrageous claims, lies and statements seem to have no effect on Trump and his ilk, we are now living in a "post=factual" age.

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According to a story in The New York Times Magazine, this past May Donald Trump's son, Donald Jr.,contacted a senior adviser to Ohio governer and failed Republican Presidential candidate John Kasich, and asked him if the governor had any interest in being the most powerful vice president in history. Here's where it gets weird:

When Kasich's adviser asked how this would be the case, Donald Jr. explained that his father's vice president would be in charge of domestic and foreign policy.

Then what, the adviser asked, would Trump be in charge of?

“Making America great again” was the casual reply.

I've maintained since he entered the race that while Trump wants to win the Presidency, he really doesn't want to be President. Too much work, too much discipline and- let's face it- The White House is a step down from the decor of his multiple, gilded homes which appear to have been furnished by Saddam Hussein's interior designer.

He has the nomination. The question is now, how can he get out of it if he wins the election? Medical? Personal problems? (Hey, he's on wife number three). Stay tuned.

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I don't know if it's an accomplishment or not, but thanks to the Republicans in general and Trump in particular, I have now blocked more people on Facebook than I have as friends. Every once in a while I encounter one of them in real life, where I'm tempted to grab them by the shoulders and shake them, while screaming "Are you insane? We grew up together in the sixties! What the hell happened to you?"

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So, at least we now have the answer to the question "How could the German people allow Hitler to rise to power?"

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Someon stole my Bernie Sanders yard sign the other week. It was after he had suspended his campaign, but stil... I wanted to save it, to show there were some same people about in 2016.

You may have noticed on the right sidebar that I've replaced the Sanders plug with one for Hillary Clinton. At least she's not Trump...

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Categories: 2016, Adolf Hitler, Bernie Sanders, Bridgeville Animal Hospital, Buckaroo Banzai, Buzz Aldrin, Candidates, Dogs, Donald Trump, Facebook, Gin and Tacos, Hillary Clinton, John Fetterman, John Kasich, Mike Pence, Politics, The Nightly Show

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Categories: Dogs

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What are the odds of someone adopting a dog who looks like Ted Cruz?

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Categories: Dogs, Ted Cruz

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Categories: Dogs, Photo of the day

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Categories: Dogs, Holidays

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An Ewok and Wilfred Brimley.

(Pixie, the small, insane, dog-like creature, was groomed yesterday.)

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Categories: Animals, Dogs, KGB Family

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Border Collie on acid.

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Categories: Dogs, Product of the day, Sex, WTF?

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Pixie, the strange, insane, dog-like creature:

1. Communicates telepathically with her masters from deep space, the Dark Overlords of the Universe;

2. Really likes having her butt scratched.

"Ah. Familiar that pose is."

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If you live in the greater Pittsburgh area and, like me, rank the experience of taking your dogs to the groomer just above getting a root canal, you're in luck.

Just call the lovely Shauna Caudill, a certified groomer and owner of Bow WOW! Mobile Bath and Grooming, and she'll bring her spiffy specialized vehicle to your home and work her magic.

To be honest, taking the shelties to the groomer was never a problem, other than spending a week trying to get all the fur out of the interior of the car.

But Pixie the Shih Tzu (Klingon for "small, insane, dog-like creature) was another story. Within five minutes of leaving the groomer's, Cindy received a call telling her to return asap and retrieve the wee beastie. They couldn't handle her. I imagined it went something like this:

Our experience with Shauna was decidedly different:

Sassy is ready for her close-up.

Before Shauna, Pixie looked like a rabid tribble with legs.

Shauna abandoned a successful but unsatisfying career and decided to take a chance and do what she truly loves. Her drive and dedication are estimable, and her skills are obvious.

We've already scheduled our next appointment.

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Granddaughter Joelle all tired out after a fun day with her cousins.

Granddaughter Joelle gives me the look I get from most young ladies...

Just a couple buds hanging out on the couch.

Sleep barking.

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The small dog-like creature demands peanut butter toast every morning. It's not pretty.

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It took an hour, mild sedation, three Milk Bones, my beard trimmer, two adults and an oven mitt, but we finally trimmed the hair around the eyes of the small, dog-like creature (aka Pixie the Shih Tzu).

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In the depressing gloom and cold of mid-winter, February 2 is an important day, and I'm not talking about some farcical ceremony involving a large rodent or steroid-enhanced millionaires giving each other concussions.

Had they lived...

Eva Cassidy would have been 51...

(YouTube video: Eva Cassidy, "Fields of Gold")

My dog Beanie would have been 20...

And my dad, Raymond Francis Barkes, would have been 90. Here he is with my son Doug, watching airplanes at the Allegheny County Airport in 1977. It's a sobering thought that I'm six years older than my father was when this photo was taken. He died in October, 1994.

I'm sad they're no longer here, but I'm glad they were in my life.

I haven't "lost" them; they're with me all the time. And memories are like fine wine. They improve with age.

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Categories: Dogs, Eva Cassidy, KGB Family, Passages

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Riley has visions of sugarplums dancing in his head.

Sassy knows the fat guy with the beard
will give her cookies.

And maybe Santa will, too!

Merry Christmas from Kevin, Cindy,
and all the furry minions.

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Categories: Christmas, Dogs, Holidays, KGB Family

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We said goodbye to Lucy (Lady Lucia) today, less than two months from her 16th birthday.

Since March 4- when she developed focal seizures- our schedule was pretty much dictated by her.

When Lucy decided it was time to wake up, we woke up. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've slept past 6:30 am in the past ten months.

The household schedule was arranged so that someone was always around at 9 am and 9 pm to administer her seizure medication. And we never left her alone for more than four hours.

From 7 pm to about 10 pm, her place was on the living room couch, where she'd watch tv and snooze. When she thought it was time to go to bed, we went to bed. And the next day, we'd do it all over again.

Things changed on Sunday. She didn't want to eat, and was only mildly interested in the cheese in which we wrapped her drugs. She spent the entire day under my desk. Her occasional excursions to survey the back yard stopped.

Yesterday she stopped drinking water and making her bathroom trips.

This morning, she woke us up at 4:30 am. I took her downstairs and put her out in the yard with the other dogs. Instead of her usual morning constitutional- walking the perimeter of the yard, inspecting the fence- she laid down in the snow at the end of the patio and didn't move. She didn't even correct the Shih Tzu puppy when the little one started barking at her and licking her face.

I picked her up and brought her inside. She sat stoically next to my chair, her old, cloudy eyes unfocused and yet looking at something. I said her name, softly. She wagged her tail, but her gaze remained steady.

I'd seen that intense, focused stare before, and my heart sank. She was concentrating on the next place, her destination. And it was time.

She was quiet during the car ride. She wagged her tail when the lady in the white coat entered the room.

She gave us sloppy kisses. Her mom held her close, and, with a relieved sigh, we felt her leave.

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Dogs' lives are short, too short, but you know that going in. You know the pain is coming, you're going to lose a dog, and there's going to be great anguish, so you live fully in the moment with her, never fail to share her joy or delight in her innocence, because you can't support the illusion that a dog can be your lifelong companion. There's such beauty in the hard honesty of that, in accepting and giving love while always aware that it comes with an unbearable price. Maybe loving dogs is a way we do penance for all the other illusions we allow ourselves and the mistakes we make because of those illusions.

When you have dogs, you witness their uncomplaining acceptance of suffering, their bright desire to make the most of life in spite of the limitations of age and disease, their calm awareness of the approaching end when their final hours come. They accept death with a grace that I hope I will one day be brave enough to muster.
-Dean Koontz

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