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Mixed loyalties
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Published Thursday, January 31, 2013 @ 1:56 PM EST
Jan 31 2013


Categories: Animals, WTF?


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Semantics
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Published Thursday, January 31, 2013 @ 8:54 AM EST
Jan 31 2013

"A 'door hanger' will be placed at your home to notify you the day before actual construction is started."

Hmm. Didn't see a "door hanger" yesterday.

There are many possibilities:

-They were being sarcastic.

-Maybe it's wrong for me to assume a 'door hanger' would be hung from a doorknob. Maybe I should look around the property. Maybe they gave it to one of the dogs. Sassy's notorious for not passing along messages.

-Perhaps this isn't "actual construction." Perhaps these are trainees who come out and rip up your yard for practice, before the actual construction crew shows up.

-This isn't construction. This is demolition. They didn't say anything about demolition.

-This is a PR effort. After this debacle, anything else Verizon does will seem downright civic-minded. The last time they were doing this, the township shut them down when it was discovered Verizon's subcontractors used undocumented aliens.

-This is an experiment to see what happens when they reach the local NRA chapter president's house at the end of the street.

So, how's your day going?


Categories: KGB, Verizon


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Quote of the day
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Published Wednesday, January 30, 2013 @ 6:18 AM EST
Jan 30 2013

Quotes of the day: FDR
Franklin Delano Roosevelt (January 30, 1882 - April 12, 1945), also known by his initials, FDR, was the 32nd President of the United States (1933–1945) and a central figure in world events during the mid-20th century, leading the United States during a time of worldwide economic depression and total war. A dominant leader of the Democratic Party and the only American president elected to more than two terms, he built a New Deal Coalition that realigned American politics after 1932, as his domestic policies defined American liberalism for the middle third of the 20th century.

(Also see our FDR page.)

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A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward.

A radical is a man with both feet planted firmly in the air.

Be sincere, be brief, be seated.

Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference.

Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.

Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel in order to be tough.

I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.

If you treat people right they will treat you right- ninety percent of the time.

In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved.

It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often groans more loudly than an empty stomach.

It is common sense to take a method and try it; if it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.

No business which depends for existence on paying less than living wages to its workers has any right to continue in this country.

People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made.

Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth.

The fate of America cannot depend on any one man. The greatness of America is grounded in principles and not on any single personality.

The only sure bulwark of continuing liberty is a government strong enough to protect the interests of the people and a people strong enough and well enough informed to maintain its sovereign control over the government.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

The real truth of the matter is, as you and I know, that a financial element in the larger centers has owned the Government ever since the days of Andrew Jackson...

The saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities: a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.

The truth is found when men are free to pursue it.

The ultimate failures of dictatorship cost humanity far more than any temporary failures of democracy.

There is a mysterious cycle in human events. To some generations much is given. Of other generations much is expected. This generation of Americans has a rendezvous with destiny.

They (who) seek to establish systems of government based on the regimentation of all human beings by a handful of individual rulers... call this a new order. It is not new and it is not order.

We have, however, a clear mandate from the people, that Americans must forswear that conception of the acquisition of wealth which, through excessive profits, creates undue private power over private affairs and, to our misfortune, over public affairs as well.

We know now that Government by organized money is just as dangerous as Government by organized mob.

We must especially beware of that small group of selfish men who would clip the wings of the American Eagle in order to feather their own nests.

We must scrupulously guard the civil rights and civil liberties of all our citizens, whatever their background. We must remember that any oppression, any injustice, any hatred, is a wedge designed to attack our civilization.

When you see a rattlesnake poised to strike, you do not wait until he has struck to crush him.


Categories: FDR, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Quotes of the day


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Cartoon of the day
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Published Tuesday, January 29, 2013 @ 2:02 AM EST
Jan 29 2013


"Escher, get your ass up here!"

(Robert Leighton in The New Yorker)


Categories: Cartoons, M.C. Escher, Robert Leighton, The New Yorker


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Truth in advertising
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Published Monday, January 28, 2013 @ 12:50 AM EST
Jan 28 2013


Categories: Meme of the day


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Quotes of the day
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Published Sunday, January 27, 2013 @ 2:42 AM EST
Jan 27 2013

Quotes of the day: John Updike
 
John Hoyer Updike (March 18, 1932 – January 27, 2009) was an American novelist, poet, short story writer, art critic, and literary critic.

Updike's most famous work is his Harry "Rabbit" Angstrom series (the novels Rabbit, Run; Rabbit Redux; Rabbit Is Rich; Rabbit At Rest; and the novella Rabbit Remembered), which chronicles Rabbit's life over the course of several decades, from young adulthood to his death. Both Rabbit Is Rich (1981) and Rabbit At Rest (1990) received the Pulitzer Prize. Updike is one of only three authors (the others were Booth Tarkington and William Faulkner) to win the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction more than once. He published more than 20 novels and more than a dozen short story collections, as well as poetry, art criticism, literary criticism and children's books. Hundreds of his stories, reviews, and poems appeared in The New Yorker, starting in 1954. He also wrote regularly for The New York Review of Books.

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A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience.

A leader is one who, out of madness or goodness, volunteers to take upon himself the woe of the people. There are few men so foolish, hence the erratic quality of leadership in the world.

All blessings are mixed blessings.

All men are boys time is trying to outsmart.

America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy.

Any decent kind of world, you wouldn't need all these rules.

Art is like baby shoes. When you coat them with gold, they can no longer be worn.

Being naked approaches being revolutionary; going barefoot is mere populism.

Celebrity is a mask that eats into the face.

Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.

Every marriage tends to consist of an aristocrat and a peasant. Of a teacher and a learner.

Facts are generally overesteemed. For most practical purposes, a thing is what men think it is.

From infancy on, we are all spies; the shame is not this but that the secrets to be discovered are so paltry and few.

Government is either organized benevolence or organized madness; its peculiar magnitude permits no shading.

Halfway isn't all the way, but it's better than no way.

I imagine most stuff on the information highway is road kill anyway.

I love my government not least for the extent to which it leaves me alone.

I secretly understood: the primitive appeal of the hearth. Television is- its irresistible charm- a fire.

If God didn't want us to eat salt and fat, why did He make them taste so good?

If society is the prison, families are the cells, with no time off for good behavior. Good behavior in fact tends to lengthen the sentence.

Life is a hill that gets steeper the more you climb.

Now that I am 60, I see why the idea of elder wisdom has passed from currency.

Rain is grace; rain is the sky condescending to the earth; without rain, there would be no life.

School is where you go between when your parents can't take you, and industry can't take you.

Suspect each moment, for it is a thief, tiptoeing away with more than it brings.

That a marriage ends is less than ideal; but all things end under heaven, and if temporality is held to be invalidating, then nothing real succeeds.

The great thing about the dead, they make space.

The only way to get somewhere, you know, is to figure out where you're going before you go there.

Time is our element, not a mistaken invader.

Truth should not be forced; it should simply manifest itself, like a woman who has in her privacy reflected and coolly decided to bestow herself upon a certain man.

Vagueness and procrastination are ever a comfort to the frail in spirit.

We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one.

We take our bearings, daily, from others. To be sane is, to a great extent, to be sociable.

Weeds don't know they're weeds.

What more fiendish proof of cosmic irresponsibility than a Nature which, having invented sex as a way to mix genes, then permits to arise, amid all its perfumed and hypnotic inducements to mate, a tireless tribe of spirochetes and viruses that torture and kill us for following orders?

Whenever somebody tells me to do something my instinct's always to do the opposite. It's got me into a lot of trouble, but I've had a lot of fun.

Women are an alien race of pagans set down among us.

Yes, there is a ton of information on the web, but much of it is egregiously inaccurate, unedited, unattributed and juvenile.

You can't say anything honest to women, they have minds like the FBI.

Your children's losing battle with time seems even sadder than your own.


Categories: John Updike, Quotes of the day


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What can I say?
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Published Saturday, January 26, 2013 @ 7:55 AM EST
Jan 26 2013

I like dogs in snow pictures. Here Riley and Sassy try to figure out why I'm pointing that flashy clicky thing at them instead of rolling in the three and a half inches we got from yesterday's clipper system.


Categories: Dogs, Weather


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Quotes of the day
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Published Friday, January 25, 2013 @ 1:47 AM EST
Jan 25 2013

Quotes of the day: W. Somerset Maugham
 
William Somerset Maugham (January 25, 1874 - December 16, 1965) was a British playwright, novelist and short story writer. He was among the most popular writers of his era and reputedly the highest paid author during the 1930s.

A soul is a troublesome possession, and when man developed it he lost the Garden of Eden.

A woman may be as wicked as she likes, but if she isn't pretty it won't do her much good.

American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers.

Art for art's sake makes no more sense than gin for gin's sake.

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.

Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.

Hypocrisy is the most difficult and nerve-racking vice that any man can pursue; it needs an unceasing vigilance and a rare detachment of spirit. It cannot, like adultery or gluttony, be practised at spare moments; it is a whole-time job.

I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation.

I have been forced to conclude from this that we know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.

I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything for myself that I could pay others to do for me.

I'll give you my opinion of the human race in a nutshell... their heart's in the right place, but their head is a thoroughly inefficient organ.

If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort that it values more, it will lose that too.

If forty million people say a foolish thing it does not become a wise one, but the wise man is foolish to give them the lie.

If people waited to know one another before they married, the world wouldn't be so grossly over-populated as it is now.

Impropriety is the soul of wit.

It is cruel to discover one's mediocrity only when it is too late.

It is dangerous to let the public behind the scenes. They are easily disillusioned and then they are angry with you, for it was the illusion they loved.

It is not difficult to be unconventional in the eyes of the world when your unconventionality is but the convention of your set.

It is not true that suffering ennobles the character; happiness does that sometimes, but suffering, for the most part, makes men petty and vindictive.

It is unsafe to take your reader for more of a fool than he is.

It was not till quite late in life that I discovered how easy it is to say: I don't know.

It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.

It's a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.

It's no use crying over spilt milk, because all of the forces of the universe were bent on spilling it.

Life wouldn't be worth living if I worried over the future as well as the present. When things are at their worst I find something always happens.

Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it's a mistake to make a habit out of it.

Money is like a sixth sense-and you can't make use of the other five without it.

My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.

No man in his heart is quite so cynical as a well-bred woman.

Now the world in general doesn't know what to make of originality; it is startled out of its comfortable habits of thought, and its first reaction is one of anger.

Passion is destructive; if it does not destroy, it dies.

Perfection is a trifle dull. It is not the least of life's ironies that this, which we all aim at, is better not quite achieved.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The beauty of the morning and the radiance of noon are good, but it would be a very silly person who drew the curtains and turned on the light in order to shut out the tranquillity of the evening.

The contrast between a man's professions and his actions is one of the most diverting spectacles that life offers.

The love that lasts longest is the love that is never returned.

The prestige you acquire by being able to tell your friends that you know famous men proves only that you are yourself of small account.

The rain fell alike upon the just and upon the unjust, and for nothing was there a why and a wherefore.

The tragedy of love is indifference.

The world is quickly bored by the recital of misfortune and willingly avoids the sight of distress.

There are men whose sense of humour is so ill developed that they still bear a grudge against Copernicus because he dethroned them from the central position in the universe. They feel it a personal affront that they can no longer consider themselves the pivot upon which turns the whole of created things.

There are three rules for writing a novel; unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

There is no explanation for evil. It must be looked upon as a necessary part of the order of the universe. To ignore it is childish, to bewail it senseless.

To eat well in England, you should have a breakfast three times a day.

Tolerance is only another name for indifference.

Tradition is a guide and not a jailer.

We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.

We have long passed the Victorian Era when asterisks were followed after a certain interval by a baby.

We who are of mature age seldom suspect how unmercifully and yet with what insight the very young judge us.

What makes old age hard to bear is not the failing of one's faculties, mental and physical, but the burden of one's memories.

What mean and cruel things men can do for the love of God.

When I read a book I seem to read it with my eyes only, but now and then I come across a passage, perhaps only a phrase, which has a meaning for me, and it becomes part of me.

You can do anything in this world if you are prepared to take the consequences.

You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.

You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.

You will hear people say that poverty is the best spur to the artist. They have never felt the iron of it in their flesh. They do not know how mean it makes you. It exposes you to endless humiliation, it cuts your wings, it eats into your soul like a cancer. It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one's dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank, and independent.


Categories: Quotes of the day, W. Somerset Maugham


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I would have guessed octarine
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Published Thursday, January 24, 2013 @ 12:29 AM EST
Jan 24 2013


Categories: Religion, Terry Pratchett, Twitter


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Question for the Ages
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Published Wednesday, January 23, 2013 @ 2:39 AM EST
Jan 23 2013

James Taylor's appearance at the inaugural raised again the thorny question: why do old male folk singers all look like accountants?


Categories: Questions for the Ages


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Another reason conservatives hate Jefferson...
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Published Wednesday, January 23, 2013 @ 1:10 AM EST
Jan 23 2013

...and why Texas textbooks are replacing his many contributions and observations with references to St. Thomas Aquinas and John Calvin:

Some men look at constitutions with sanctimonious reverence, and deem them like the arc of the covenant, too sacred to be touched. They ascribe to the men of the preceding age a wisdom more than human, and suppose what they did to be beyond amendment. I knew that age well; I belonged to it, and labored with it. It deserved well of its country. It was very like the present, but without the experience of the present; and forty years of experience in government is worth a century of book-reading; and this they would say themselves, were they to rise from the dead. I am certainly not an advocate for frequent and untried changes in laws and constitutions. I think moderate imperfections had better be borne with; because, when once known, we accommodate ourselves to them, and find practical means of correcting their ill effects. But I know also, that laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths disclosed, and manners and opinions change with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also, and keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy, as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.
=letter to Samuel Kercheval from Thomas Jefferson,
June 12, 1816


Categories: Thomas Jefferson, U.S. Constitution


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The siege continues
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Published Tuesday, January 22, 2013 @ 12:27 AM EST
Jan 22 2013

To quote the great Robin Williams, "I feel like dog drool on a cat's lips."

Some OTC antipyretics and back to bed.


Categories: Drugs, KGB


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Status
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Published Monday, January 21, 2013 @ 6:24 AM EST
Jan 21 2013

"Nice. During the swearing-in, the GOP will observe a Moment of Not Introducing Bill To Repeal Obamacare."
-@pourmecoffee

Here's hoping I have the bug that was wasn't included in this year's flu shot, and not some super-resistant mutated form of the virus. To tell you the truth, I'm beginning to understand the whole 28 Days / zombie business.


Categories:


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Mysterious ways, indeed,,,
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Published Sunday, January 20, 2013 @ 5:54 AM EST
Jan 20 2013


Categories: Religion, Twitter, WTF?


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Observations of the week
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Published Saturday, January 19, 2013 @ 12:00 AM EST
Jan 19 2013

Thousands of dead fish have now washed up on shore along the coast of South Carolina. Today the NRA said that this wouldn't have happened if those fish had guns."
-Jay Leno

I love the NRA accusing anyone of being paranoid. It's like a septic tank saying, "You need a mint."
-Bill Maher

It's reported that if you're playing Angry Birds, the company is tracking your location. This may seem silly to you, but it's actually how we got bin Laden.
-Conan O'Brien

An American worker was arrested for paying someone in China to do his job for him. The man is being called lazy, irresponsible, and three years ahead of his time.
-Conan O'Brien

The difference between George W. Bush and Lance Armstrong is that Bush never took anything that was performance enhancing.
-@LOLGOP

President Obama's inaugural parade will feature eight floats, including a Hawaii float to honor his birthplace, an Illinois float to honor the first lady’s home state, and a Kenyan float just to mess with Republicans."
-Jimmy Fallon

Manti Te'o's at Notre Dame! Imagine, going to a college named after Virgin Mary and being in love with a nonexistent dead lady.
-Bill Maher

As a Jew, it's hard to mock Manti Te'o considering what we do for Elijah.
-Jensen Karp

Wal-Mart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Wal-Mart is going to invade Costco.
-Conan O'Brien

Rumor: Tiffany's to make imaginary rings.
-@AlbertBrooks

Daniel Day-Lewis won a Golden Globe for playing Abraham Lincoln and Julianne Moore won for playing Sarah Palin. The foreign press realized that the greatest challenge for an actor in Hollywood is pretending to be a Republican."
-Jay Leno

Fox News inauguration coverage will just be live video feed with Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" playing on a loop.
-@pourmecoffee

I went to see Zero Dark Thirty, and the first 45 minutes are torture. Same as The Hobbit.
-Bill Maher

The drive on 95 shows how the Confederate capital could be 90 miles from DC, yet not fall to Union forces for four years.
-@askpang

Next year, Tour de France moving to unicycles.
-@SteveMartin

Between the great things we cannot do, and the little things we will not do, lie the medium-sized things we do do.
-The Covert Comic

Republicans and Democrats are working on a new bill to streamline the health care system. It will reduce the cost of mammograms and prostate exams. But don't worry. They'll still be free at the airport.
-Jimmy Fallon

I'm not saying a gun fetish is exactly a penis fetish but both are far more likely to be fired on one's self than another person.
-@LOLGOP

President Obama's half-brother is running for political office in Kenya. Donald Trump has already accused him of being born in the United States.
-Conan O'Brien

During Jodie Foster's emotional [Golden Globes] speech she said she was gay, 50, and friends with Mel Gibson. Afterwards, her publicist told Jodie, "I'm going to need a raise."
-Conan O'Brien

Between Lance Armstrong admitting that he was doping and Jodie Foster coming out as a lesbian, it's been a tough week for the clueless.
-Bill Maher

This country is the most entertained and the least informed.
-Rula Jebreal


Categories: Observations


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Gun control insanity
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Published Friday, January 18, 2013 @ 3:44 AM EST
Jan 18 2013

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart hits another one out of the park.


Categories: Barack Obama, Daily Show, Founding Fathers, Fox News, Jon Stewart, Second Amendment


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Quote of the day
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Published Friday, January 18, 2013 @ 12:41 AM EST
Jan 18 2013

Just saw a story where Subway's foot longs are only measuring 11 inches. Subway's response: It was cold.
-Albert Brooks


Categories: Albert Brooks, Quotes of the day


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Quote of the day
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Published Thursday, January 17, 2013 @ 6:31 AM EST
Jan 17 2013

At one point during the taping, Lance [Armstrong] said, "I propagated one of the greatest frauds in American history," and Oprah went, "Whoa, easy there Uniball, I'm the one that discovered Dr. Phil."
-Craig Ferguson


Categories: Craig Ferguson, Quotes of the day


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Just saying...
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Published Wednesday, January 16, 2013 @ 8:24 AM EST
Jan 16 2013

News Headline: "Walmart promises to hire 100,000 veterans."
News Headline: "Bill would give homeless veterans unclaimed clothing from airports."

A lot of thought has gone into honoring our veterans.

Now they will have secondhand clothing to wear when they start their underpaid jobs with no benefits.

-Zay N. Smith, Quick Takes


Categories: Observations, WTF?, Zay N. Smith - Quick Takes


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May as well give it a shot...
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Published Wednesday, January 16, 2013 @ 6:42 AM EST
Jan 16 2013


Categories: Observations, Science, Second Amendment


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Ouch.
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Published Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 6:24 AM EST
Jan 15 2013


Categories: Meme of the day, Observations, Religion, Second Amendment


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Just saying...
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Published Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 12:06 AM EST
Jan 14 2013


Categories: Drugs, Lindsay Lohan, Patrick Stewart, Star Trek


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incommunicado: Part 2
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Published Sunday, January 13, 2013 @ 10:25 PM EST
Jan 13 2013

On Friday morning, 24 hours after reporting the problem, callers to my Comcast home phone number still received the out of service recording.

I called the number the Comcast person gave me on Thursday to follow up on the problem. The person said it's the wrong geographic region. He needed to transfer me to the office that handles Pittsburgh.

Generic music on held, then I'm connected to another office which also tells me their region doesn't handle Pittsburgh port-in requests. I can barely hear the person on the line; then the call drops.

I'll spare you the details. Hint: sometimes psychotic behavior can be rewarding.

The phone was working Saturday morning, and Comcast gave me credit for the days without phone service, plua $20 off next month's bill.

Now everything's going through Google Voice. Let's see how this adventure pans out...


Categories: Comcast, Google, KGB, Technology, Vonage


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Logical.
(permalink)

Published Sunday, January 13, 2013 @ 12:01 AM EST
Jan 13 2013


Why science teachers are never asked to monitor recess.


Categories: Cartoons, Science


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"Open the pod bay doors, Hal." "F*** you, Dave."
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Published Saturday, January 12, 2013 @ 10:16 PM EST
Jan 12 2013

ABC News


Categories: Computers, IBM, Technology, WTF?


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It's not polite to stare
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Published Saturday, January 12, 2013 @ 8:06 AM EST
Jan 12 2013

It's also probably not safe. Scrape the gray matter off the wall behind you, go back out to the kitchen, and get yourself another cup of coffee. Then go check out Reddit. I hear there's some good stuff over there.


Categories: Animals, Cats, Photo of the day, WTF?


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Realization
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Published Friday, January 11, 2013 @ 9:05 AM EST
Jan 11 2013


Categories: Observations, WTF?


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Incommunicado: Part 1
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Published Friday, January 11, 2013 @ 7:46 AM EST
Jan 11 2013

I had heard horror storied about porting phone numbers out of Vonage to other carriers, so a month before transferring my home phone to Comcast, I contacted both companies to make certain there'd be no problems. Both assured me the switch would be routine.

So yesterday morning, when you dialed my old Comcast phone number, you received a recording that the number was not in service.

And when you dialed my home telephone number- the one I've had for 28 years- you received: a recording that the number was not in service.

Comcast said they'd have it fixed in 24 hours. They have one hour, ten minutes left.

I have a bad feeling about this.


Categories: Comcast, KGB, Technology, Vonage


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Observations of the day
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Published Thursday, January 10, 2013 @ 12:53 AM EST
Jan 10 2013

News Headline: "Study: Billions of Earth-size planets in Milky Way."
And we're the one that gets Donald Trump.
-Zay N. Smith- Quick Takes

-----

Q. If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about 2013?
A. I possess a device, in my pocket, that is capable of accessing the entirety of information known to man. I use it to look at pictures of cats and get in arguments with strangers.
-from Reddit


Categories: Observations, Zay N. Smith - Quick Takes


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Quotes of the day
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Published Wednesday, January 09, 2013 @ 6:29 AM EST
Jan 09 2013

Richard Milhous Nixon (January 9, 1913 - April 22, 1994) was the 37th President of the United States, serving from 1969 to 1974, when he became the only president to resign the office. Nixon had previously served as a Republican U.S. representative and senator from California and as the 36th Vice President of the United States from 1953 to 1961. (Click for full Wikipedia article.)

Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.

Defeat doesn't finish a man- quit does. A man is not finished when he's defeated. He's finished when he quits.

Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver. Finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.

From a personal standpoint, what I would prefer to be remembered for is the example I set for surviving and coming back from adversity.

I don't think that a leader can control to any great extent his destiny. Very seldom can he step in and change the situation if the forces of history are running in another direction.

I reject the cynical view that politics is inevitably, or even usually, a dirty business.

I would have made a good Pope.

I'd like to see people, instead of spending so much time on the ethical problem, get after the problems that really affect the people of this country.

Once you get into this great stream of history, you can't get out.

Politics is like the stock market: it's a bad business for people who can't afford to lose.

Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.

Solutions are not the answer.

Sometimes at the end of the day when I'm smiling and shaking hands, I want to kick them.

The jawbone of an ass is just as dangerous a weapon today as in Samson's time.

The trouble with most conservatives is that those who have brains lack guts and those who have guts lack brains.

Voters quickly forget what a man says.

When the President does it, that means it is not illegal.

You must not give power to a man unless, above everything else, he has character. Character is the most important qualification the President of the United States can have.

-Richard M. Nixon

-----

I think that Richard Nixon will go down in history as a true folk hero, who struck a vital blow to the whole diseased concept of the revered image and gave the American virtue of irreverence and skepticism back to the people.
-William S. Burroughs

Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?
-Johnny Carson

You roll back the stones, and you find slithering things. That is the world of Richard Nixon.
-John Kenneth Galbraith

The two-party system has given this country the war of Lyndon Johnson, the Watergate of Nixon and the incompetence of Carter. Saying we should keep the two-party system simply because it is working is like saying the Titanic voyage was a success because a few people survived on life rafts.
-Eugene McCarthy

Richard Nixon would have been better off if I'd beaten him. Then he'd be remembered for the EPA and China instead of Watergate.
-George McGovern

Nixon is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump for a speech on conservation.
-Adlai E. Stevenson II

It is a fitting irony that under Richard Nixon, launder became a dirty word.
-William Zinsser


Categories: Quotes of the day, Richard Nixon


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Multiple disasters
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Published Tuesday, January 08, 2013 @ 7:36 AM EST
Jan 08 2013

America tries to recover from two major disasters- Hurricane Sandy and the Republican majority in the House of Representatives.

("The Daily Show" video.)


Categories: Daily Show, Jon Stewart, Politics


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Hard sell
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Published Monday, January 07, 2013 @ 4:39 AM EST
Jan 07 2013

I received an invitation on Linked In from someone involved in one of those multi level marketing rackets. You know the routine: be your own boss, retire a millionaire, our product sells itself. Of course, if the product did indeed sell itself, it wouldn't need distributors and a "down line" and a never ending campaign for new suckers- er, "team members."

The product being sold is not the product, but books and DVDs and seminars which teach you the magic system that will make you wildly successful. And when you find yourself in the hole, credit cards maxed out and the mortgage due, it's not that the product didn't sell. Rather, it's because you didn't work hard enough or master the magic system. Here, we have a book and DVD for that- it's only $49.95.

My grandiose and deluded friend called himself a "Global Success Architect." I stuck the term into Google, and the search engine responded with:

"No results found for 'global success architect'."

Which is exactly what I expected.


Categories: KGB Opinion, Observations


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Coincidence?
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Published Sunday, January 06, 2013 @ 12:00 AM EST
Jan 06 2013

So I'm wandering the aisles at Giant Eagle and the missus, who is out of town, sends me a text message admonishing me to avoid buying junk food (not including, of course, the three-for-ten-dollars sale on Breyers' ice cream).

In fact, I had skipped the junk and was annoyed by her honest concern, which I chauvinistically perceived as condescending. Later, she reminded me to put the ice cream in the freezer immediately when I got home. Hey, I may not cook, but I am a freaking expert at the preparation and handling of frozen food, having subsisted primarily on pizza and Hungry Man dinners during my exile in Chicago.

I was sorely tempted to pick up a frozen strawberry cheesecake to share with the dogs. I wouldn't even thaw out the sucker- we'd just lie on the floor and lick it into yummy, sticky oblivion.

The groceries stored, I logged onto Facebook and was immediately presented with this New Yorker cartoon by Eric Lewis:

Damn.

Which reminds me, I left the Clementine oranges and tuna fish out in the car.


Categories: KGB, KGB Opinion, Observations


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Canine semantics
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Published Saturday, January 05, 2013 @ 12:46 AM EST
Jan 05 2013


Charles Barsotti in The New Yorker


Categories: Cartoons, Dogs, The New Yorker


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Karma
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Published Friday, January 04, 2013 @ 1:42 AM EST
Jan 04 2013


Categories: Dogs, Miscellany, Observations


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Observation of the day
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Published Thursday, January 03, 2013 @ 9:22 PM EST
Jan 03 2013

Insanity is electing the same Congress and expecting different results.


Categories: KGB Opinion, Observations, Politics


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Chill
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Published Thursday, January 03, 2013 @ 12:49 AM EST
Jan 03 2013

Before everyone gets their knickers in a twist over Al Jazeera buying Al Gore's Current TV, let's take a deep breath and recall this informative little August, 2010 clip from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart:


Categories: Al Gore, Al Jazeera, Alwaleed bin Talal, Current TV, Daily Show, Fox News, Jon Stewart


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What he said...
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Published Wednesday, January 02, 2013 @ 12:33 AM EST
Jan 02 2013


Categories: Calvin and Hobbes, Cartoons


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Just saying...
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Published Tuesday, January 01, 2013 @ 9:26 PM EST
Jan 01 2013

Before celebrating too much, you should be certain the statute of limitations expires today and not the date of the original offense.


Categories: New Years, Observations


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Meet the New Year, same as the old year...
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Published Tuesday, January 01, 2013 @ 3:01 AM EST
Jan 01 2013

KGB Report welcomes you to 2013: May this arbitrary, transient point in your solipsistic sense of the space-time continuum delineate the initiation of a series of random events which trend in a manner which you perceive to be favorable.


Categories: Barack Obama, Cartoons, Elections, History, Holidays, Mass shootings, New Years, Photo of the day, Politics, Second Amendment, The Big Bang Theory, U.S. Constitution, WTF?


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