On May 25, 1925, John T. Scopes was indicted in Tennessee for teaching Darwin's theory of evolution.
Thank heavens all that foolishness is behind us now.
I wake up the morning, I am severely optimistic, more than anybody could
imagine. I believe that today is going to be the day America figures it
all out. I'm convinced of it. We've made every mistake humanly possible,
haven't we? So today, just by accident, we might stumble onto the
answer. And then I pick up the paper and go, 'Son of a bitch!'
Donald Trump is now ahead of Hillary Clinton in the polls. This was
reported today in the Washington Post and 2,000 years ago in the Book of
Some men look at constitutions with sanctimonious reverence, and deem
them like the ark of the covenant, too sacred to be touched. They
ascribe to the men of the preceding age a wisdom more than human, and
suppose what they did to be beyond amendment. I knew that age well; I
belonged to it, and labored with it. It deserved well of its country. It
was very like the present, but without the experience of the present;
and forty years of experience in government is worth a century of
book-reading; and this they would say themselves, were they to rise from
the dead. I am certainly not an advocate for frequent and untried
changes in laws and constitutions. I think moderate imperfections had
better be borne with; because, when once known, we accommodate ourselves
to them, and find practical means of correcting their ill effects. But I
know also, that laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the
progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more
enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths disclosed, and
manners and opinions change with the change of circumstances,
institutions must advance also, and keep pace with the times. We might
as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a
boy, as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their
America is about taking risks- and making mistakes and doing the right thing... eventually. I'm old enough now to look back and realize the United States is capable of acts of both stunning inspiration and jaw-dropping stupidity, often simultaneously.
But the one thing about America and being an American is knowing that, like a huge pendulum, eventually things swing back from the extreme. Not without effort and debate and cost and lost lives. But sooner or later, things always do get better. And then we'll swing to the other extreme and repeat the process.
Norman Mailer once said the true religion of America has always been
America. He's right. I believe in America. And there are enough
believers to insure that despite its disturbing oscillations, we'll
always find our way.
-KGB (July 3, 2003), during the depths of the Bush presidency.
I love being 60 years old. It's very liberating. A lot of people asked
me if I was going to make a bucket list. I made a bucket list, then I
changed the 'b' to an 'f' and I was done with it.
They say power corrupts, but most of the time it's actually faulty
-John Alejandro King (The Covert Comic)
America is still mostly xenophobic and racist. That's the nature of
America, I think.
Are you going to cater to the whims and prejudices of people who have no
intelligent knowledge of what they condemn?
-Susan B. Anthony
At any given moment, public opinion is a chaos of superstition,
misinformation, and prejudice.
Censorship of anything, at any time, in any place, on whatever pretense,
has always been and always will be the last resort of the boob and the
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
Do you know what we call opinion in the absence of evidence? We call it
During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of
Christianity been on trial. What have been its fruits? More or less in
all places, pride and indolence in the Clergy, ignorance and servility
in the laity, in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution.
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
-Laurence J. Peter
Even if all parties approach the court's mandate with the best of
conscious intentions... that mandate requires them to confront and
overcome their own racism on all levels- a challenge I doubt all of them
Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences. No one can eliminate
prejudices- just recognize them.
-Edward R. Murrow
Except in a few well-publicized instances (enough to lend credence to
the iconography painted on the walls of the media), the rigorous
practice of rugged individualism usually leads to poverty, ostracism and
disgrace. The rugged individualist is too often mistaken for the misfit,
the maverick, the spoilsport, the sore thumb.
-Lewis H. Lapham
Faith is a euphemism for prejudice and religion is a euphemism for
Freedom of the press... is freedom to print such of the proprietor's
prejudices as the advertisers don't object to.
-Robert Smith Surtees
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre
minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who
refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to
express his opinions courageously and honestly.
He had but one eye, and the popular prejudice runs in favor of two.
He that cannot reason is a fool. He that will not is a bigot. He that
dare not is a slave.
How it infuriates a bigot, when he is forced to drag out his dark
-Logan Pearsall Smith
I am a Conservative to preserve all that is good in our constitution, a
Radical to remove all that is bad. I seek to preserve property and to
respect order, and I equally decry the appeal to the passions of the
many or the prejudices of the few.
I believe that it should be perfectly lawful to print even things that
outrage the pruderies and prejudices of the general, so long as any
honest minority, however small, wants to read them. The remedy of the
majority is not prohibition, but avoidance.
I don't have prejudice against myself. My father was a white and my
mother was black. Them call me half-caste or whatever. Me don't dip on
nobody's side. Me don't dip on the black man's side nor the white man's
side. Me dip on God's side, the one who create me and cause me to come
from black and white.
I don't like principles. I prefer prejudices.
I don't want to see the Republican Party ride to political victory on
the Four Horsemen of Calumny- Fear, Ignorance, Bigotry, and Smear.
-Margaret Chase Smith
I happen to think that the singular evil of our time is prejudice. It is
from this evil that all other evils grow and multiply. In almost
everything I've written there is a thread of this: a man's seemingly
palpable need to dislike someone other than himself.
I have a friend who says the militia have one black helicopter that they
fly their one black member around in, simultaneously scaring themselves
and proving they aren't racist.
I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices.
All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough
for me; he can't be any worse.
-Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
I think we can agree racial prejudice is stupid. Because if you spend
time with someone from another race and really get to know them, you can
find other reasons to hate them.
I wish I could say that racism and prejudice were only distant memories.
We must dissent from the indifference. We must dissent from the apathy.
We must dissent from the fear, the hatred and the mistrust... We must
dissent because America can do better, because America has no choice but
to do better.
If we were to wake up some morning and that everyone was the same race,
creed, and color, we would find some other causes for prejudice by noon.
If you have too many white people at a rally, then your cause is racist.
And if you have too many people of color at a rally, you must be asking
If you think about it, there's not a religious group, there's not a
nationalistic group, there's not a tribe, there is no grouping of people
to my knowledge, of any consequence, who have not, at one or another
time, been the object of hatred, racism, or who has not had people
against them just because they were them.
Ignorance is stubborn and prejudice dies hard.
-Adlai E. Stevenson II
In the end, science offers us the only way out of politics. And if we
allow science to become politicized, then we are lost. We will enter the
Internet version of the dark ages, an era of shifting fears and wild
prejudices, transmitted to people who don't know any better.
It appears to be in the nature of religion itself to be prejudiced
against those who are different.
-Bishop John Shelby
Law is a reflection and a source of prejudice. It both enforces and
suggests forms of bias.
-Diane B. Schulder
Liberalism, above all, means emancipation- emancipation from one's
fears, his inadequacies, from prejudice, from discrimination... from
-Hubert H. Humphrey
No human race is superior; no religious faith is inferior. All
collective judgments are wrong. Only racists make them.
No man can be friendly to another whose personal habits differ
materially from his own. Even the trivialities of table manners thus
become important. The fact probably explains much of race prejudice, and
even more of national prejudice.
No wise man can have a contempt for the prejudices of others; and he
should even stand in a certain awe of his own, as if they were aged
parents and monitors. They may in the end prove wiser than he.
Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge's chamber believes in an
unprejudiced point of view.
Only as you do know yourself can your brain serve you as a sharp and
efficient tool. Know your own failings, passions, and prejudices so you
can separate them from what you see.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more
likely to be honest than a clever man, and our politicians take
advantage of this prejudice by pretending to be even more stupid than
nature made them.
Patriotism at the expense of another nation is as wicked as racism at
the expense of another race. Let us resolve to be patriots always,
-William Sloane Coffin, Jr.
Point of view must mean more than mere prejudice; it should express
conclusions reached by that painful process known as thinking. And when
new facts or factors are presented, free men shoul be as vigilant to
change their viewpoints as to confirm them.
-A. Mortimer Astbury
Prejudice is a raft onto which the shipwrecked mind clambers and paddles
Prejudice is the child of ignorance...
Prejudice is the reason of fools.
-Voltaire (François Marie Arouet)
Prejudice is the sole author of infamies: how many acts are so qualified
by an opinion forged out of nought but prejudice!
-Marquis de Sade
Prejudice supports thrones, ignorance altars.
-Marie Ebner von Ebner-Eschenbach
Prejudices are rarely overcome by argument; not being founded in reason
they cannot be destroyed by logic.
Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the
heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilized by education;
they grow there, firm as weeds among rocks.
Racism is taught in our society, it is not automatic. It is learned
behavior toward persons with dissimilar physical characteristics.
Racism isn't born, folks. It's taught. I have a two-year-old son. Know
what he hates? Naps. End of list.
So few men are really worth knowing, that it seems a shameful waste to
let an anthropoid prejudice stand in the way of free association with
one who is.
The best antidote to prejudice is reality.
The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry
of the believer.
The discovery of truth is prevented more effectively, not by the false
appearance things present and which mislead into error, not directly by
weakness of the reasoning powers, but by preconceived opinion, by
The food choice of others is becoming more and more heatedly exclusive
until it may well turn into one of those forms of bigotry against which
gallant little committees are constantly planning campaigns in the cause
of justice and decency.
-Cornelia Otis Skinner
The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye: the more light you
pour upon it, the more it will contract.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
The prejudice against color, of which we hear so much, is no stronger
than that against sex. It is produced by the same cause, and manifested
very much in the same way. The negro's skin and the woman's sex are both
prima facie evidence that they were intended to be in subjection to the
white Saxon man.
-Elizabeth Cady Stanton
The tendency of the casual mind is to pick out or stumble upon a sample
which supports or defies its prejudices, and then to make it the
representative of a whole class.
The true barbarian is he who thinks every thing barbarous but his own
tastes and prejudices.
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
-Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
Thinking is what a great many people think they are doing when they are
merely rearranging their prejudices.
To deny political equality is to rob the ostracised of all self-
respect; of credit in the market place; of recompense in the world of
work; of a voice among those who make and administer the law; a choice
in the jury before whom they are tried, and in the judge who decides
-Elizabeth Cady Stanton
To me the earth's most explosive and pernicious evil is racism, the
inability of God's creatures to live as One, especially in the Western
Under our constitutional system, courts stand, against any winds that
blow, as havens of refuge for those who might otherwise suffer because
they are helpless, weak, outnumbered, or because they are nonconforming
victims of prejudice and public excitement.
We are not sent into the world to air our moral prejudices.
We have abundant reason to rejoice, that, in this land, the light of
truth and reason has triumphed over the power of bigotry and
superstition, and that every person may here worship God according to
the dictates of his own heart.
We have convinced over one billion members of the Islamic faith that we
are prejudiced against their religion, that we would deny them freedom
of religion, that we want suppress their culture and invade their
-Theodore (Ted) Sorensen
Whatever you do, don't read the Bible for a moral code: it advocates
prejudice, cruelty, superstition, and murder. Read it because: we need
more atheists- and nothin' will get you there faster than readin' the
When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with
creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures
bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
Whom the gods would make bigots, they first deprive of humor.
-Rev. James M. Gillis
With a few exceptions, I'm skeptical of churches. I worry that they
can't deal with issues like AIDS. I worry that the most racist places in
the world can be places of worship. We have to build our churches in our
You would better educate ten women into the practice of liberal
principles than to organize a thousand on a platform of intolerance and
-Susan B. Anthony
Sooner or later, most of us die from complications of being ourselves.
-John Alejandro King (The Covert Comic)
On May 25, 1925, John T. Scopes was indicted in Tennessee for teaching Darwin's theory of evolution.
Thank heavens all that foolishness is behind us now.
...225 years ago, the U.S. House of Representatives held its first full meeting.
At least they chose an appropriate date on which to begin.
When I was a little boy, I was called a nerd all the time because I didn't like sports, I loved to read, I liked math and science, I thought school was really cool, and... it hurt. A lot. Because it's never ok when a person makes fun of you for something like you didn't choose... we don't choose to be nerds. We can't help it that we like these things, and we shouldn't apologize for liking these things.
I wish that I could tell you that there is a really easy way to just... not care. But the truth is it hurts. But here's the thing that you might be able to understand- as a matter of fact, I'm confident you'll be able to understand this, because you asked this question.
When a person makes fun of you, when a person is cruel to you... it has nothing to do with you. It's not about what you said, it's not about what you did, it's not about what you love. It's about them feeling bad about themselves. They feel sad. They don't get positive attention from their parents. They don't feel as smart as you. They don't understand the things that you understand.
Maybe one of their parents is really pushing them to be a cheerleader, or a baseball player, or an engineer, or something that they just don't want to do. So they take that out on you, because they can't go and be mean to the person who's actually hurting them.
So, when a person's cruel to you like that- I know that this is hard- but honestly, the kind and best reaction is to pity them. And don't let them make you feel bad because you love a thing. Maybe find out what they love, and talk about it- how they love it. I bet you'll find out that a person who loves tetherball loves tetherball exactly the same way you love Doctor Who. But you just love different things.
And I will tell you this: it absolutely gets better as you get older. I know it's really hard when you're in school and you're surrounded by the same 400 people a day that pick on you and make you feel bad about yourself. But there's fifty thousand people here this weekend who went through the exact same thing- and we're all doing really well.
Don't you ever let persons make you feel bad because you love something
they decided is only for nerds. You're loving a thing that's for you.
-Wil Wheaton, responding to a question from a young girl at the 2013 Denver Comic Con.
"A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks."
"I was going to buy a copy of 'The Power of Positive Thinking,' and then I thought: what the hell good would that do?"
As a card-carrying cynical curmudgeon, I have little patience for those cheerful "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" pieces of delusional inanity. That said, there are some grains of wheat in the following chaff. Pick away, but use common sense. Don't get "brightsided."
(See the original article here.)
- Stop spending time with the wrong people. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they'll make room for you. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it's not the people that stand by your side when you're at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you're at your worst that are your true friends.
- Stop running from your problems. Face them head on. No, it won't be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren't supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That's not how we're made. In fact, we're made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that's the whole purpose of living- to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
- Stop lying to yourself. You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can't lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.
- Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
- Stop trying to be someone you're not. One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that's trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
- Stop trying to hold onto the past. You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
- Stop being scared to make a mistake. Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
- Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
- Stop trying to buy happiness. Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free- love, laughter and working on our passions.
- Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. If you're not happy with who you are on the inside, you won't be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
- Stop being idle. Don't think too much or you'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can't make it to second base with your foot on first.
- Stop thinking you're not ready. Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won't feel totally comfortable at first.
- Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. Relationships must be chosen wisely. It's better to be alone than to be in bad company. There's no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen- in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you're ready, not when you're lonely.
- Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn't work. In life you'll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
- Stop trying to compete against everyone else. Don't worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
- Stop being jealous of others. Jealousy is the art of counting someone else's blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: "What's something I have that everyone wants?"
- Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Life's curveballs are thrown for a reason- to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You'll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
- Stop holding grudges. Don't live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, "What you did to me is okay." It is saying, "I'm not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever." Forgiveness is the answer... let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it's for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
- Stop letting others bring you down to their level. Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
- Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
- Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. The time to take a deep breath is when you don't have time for it. If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
- Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
- Stop trying to make things perfect. The real world doesn't reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.
- Stop following the path of least resistance. Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don't take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
- Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn't. It's okay to fall apart for a little while. You don't always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn't be concerned with what other people are thinking either- cry if you need to- it's healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
- Stop blaming others for your troubles. The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you're going through, you deny responsibility- you give others power over that part of your life.
- Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
- Stop worrying so much. Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: "Will this matter in one year's time? Three years? Five years?" If not, then it's not worth worrying about.
- Stop focusing on what you don't want to happen. Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you'll often find that you're right.
- Stop being ungrateful. No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
I'm now starting to think CNN took the plane.
A few years ago, The Onion ran a piece entitled "Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be." While satire, it underscored an important point: there are many good, sincere people who base their beliefs and principles on what they've been told by persons in positions of false or perceived authority. The problem is the information they're getting is incomplete at best, or, at worst, just plain wrong.
Don't blindly accept what you're told. Read the Constitution. Read the Bible. Read the Tanakh. Read The Book of Mormon. They're all available online.
(Don't bother with Dianetics. Trust me.)
And when someone throws a chapter and verse in your face, go the chapter and read the verse. Then read the verse before and the verse after. Better yet, read the whole chapter. Then read the whole book.
Then think for yourself.
So we're dealing with the "free speech" stuff again.
The First Amendment says:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
The First Amendment guarantees that the government can't control your speech.
It doesn't guarantee you freedom from the consequences of your speech.
The government won't punish you for posting on Facebook that your wife's new Christmas dress makes her ass look fat.
It doesn't have to.
"I'll tell you who I feel sorry for, folks... A&E. With this
controversy, they may have just lost Duck Dynasty's massive black and
The pacifier changes, the sucking remains.
-The Covert Comic
Be very, very careful what you put in that head because you will never, ever get it out.
-Thomas Cardinal Wolsey
Social media on the shutdown:
Andy Borowitz (Facebook):
BREAKING: Most Hated People in U.S. Deciding Fate of World.
Let's put this shutdown behind us so the trials for treason can begin.
Michele Bachmann: "My Health Plan is Rapture."
As the Republicans go from Abraham Lincoln to Teddy Roosevelt to Ted Cruz, it's no wonder they don't believe in evolution.
Say what you will about America, it's a place where any child, if he's stupid enough, can grow up to wreck the world economy.
If we default on our debt Miley Cyrus will no longer be the most embarrassing thing about America.
Call me an optimist, but I believe our government will come up with a totally unsatisfactory solution to a completely unnecessary crisis.
The behavior of the Tea Party congressmen is the most glaring indictment of our nation's failure to teach math.
Congress has wasted two weeks on a totally unnecessary crisis of its own creation. It's a good thing our schools and roads are in great shape or I'd be mad.
There are people in Congress I would not trust to look after my plants.
WASHINGTON - After a poll showed 50% of Americans blame Republicans for the shutdown and 30% blame Obama, Rep. Michele Bachmann said, "That means we're winning by 20 percent."
Boehner: "The time has come to end this crisis so we can start planning the next one."
BREAKING: GOP Accuse Obama of Acting Like He Won Election
BREAKING: NRA Defends GOP's Right to Use Metaphorical Gun
Basically, the Republicans want a reward for calling in a bomb threat and then retracting it.
Just bought health insurance online. For some weird reason, the country was not destroyed. Anyone else have this problem?
It bothers me that our country may be pushed into default by people who cannot spell default.
Boehner: "We will continue this shutdown until we find out the reason for it."
WASHINGTON - In an escalation of the stalemate gripping the Capitol, House Republicans voted today to shut down the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that controls reasoning and impulses
The shutdown could last awhile since the Tea Party is demanding the President not be black anymore.
I wasn't happy about the country being controlled by the richest one percent, but I really hate it being controlled by the dumbest one percent
Boehner: "The President is stubbornly refusing to end this crisis I created."
WASHINGTON - House Republicans reassured the nation today that during the government shutdown they would continue to work hard to cut benefits for the poor and hungry.
A lot of people are asking when this kind of madness in Washington will end. I believe that can be arranged in 2014.
I'm impressed that no one has made the analogy between Ted Cruz and McMurphy in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.
REMINDER: Michele Bachmann's favorite Founding Father is George Jefferson.
FYI: A nuclear bomb is about to blow up the world's economy and the House GOP will let it go off unless we give a tax break to a corporation.
Political party that pretends Donald Trump is a serious candidate for anything isn't a political party anymore, it's a cry for help.
House Republicans. Willing to destroy what's left of the global economy to avoid a primary challenge.
BREAKING: Ted Cruz and House Republicans meet in private to write open letter to Miley Cyrus, plot a global financial crisis.
Columbus discovered America the same way Republicans discovered the deficit when Obama became president.
Republicans waited to wage war on birth control until 50 years after it was invented. Next: Stop the miniskirt!
Schoolhouse Rock is working on a new "How A Bill Becomes Law" but it's taking a while because not much rhymes with "hostage."
Boehner should just show up in a Hawaiian shirt chomping a cigar and say "whatever" to everything.
The real victim in this is legitimate Kabuki theater.
Maybe if the History Channel showed history instead of pawn shops and alligators less people would carry Confederate flags.
Hi, we're the most powerful nation in all of recorded history, may we please have our allowance?
Congress is going to wait until the very last minute and look up budget deals in Wikipedia.
Ted Cruz: Mr. Obama, tear down these barricades!**
(** Put up because of my 21-hour speech directly leading to this outcome.)
Don't tread on me, except getting me to donate money and vote against my own interests, you can tread on me that way.
I don't think Spock could handle mind-melding with John Boehner, even for a moment. The madness. The sorrow. It would break a mind.
Sarah Reese Jones (Twitter)
John McCain warns Dems not to humiliate GOP as the VP he picked stands near Confederate Flag in front of WH accusing Obama of being Muslim.
If you want to read the fortune, you've got to break the cookie.
-The Covert Comic
A non-native English speaking friend of my was complaining about the behavior of relatives whose loyalty was questionable when situations threatened their perceived well-being.
"I can't trust them," he said. "They're playing both sides of the chicken."
My mind decoded the mixed metaphor as a combination of playing chicken and being on both sides of the fence. But I also started giggling, trying to imagine how one would play both sides of a chicken and, more precisely, why you would want to do so.
Giggling still, waiting for a chance to use that phrase during a conversation and see the reaction...