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Cicadas, reining in the crazy, nun embezzlement, Jesus gets an accountant
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Published Thursday, June 10, 2021 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Jun 10 2021

Reporters traveling to the United Kingdom for President Joe Biden's first overseas trip were delayed seven hours after their chartered plane was overrun by cicadas.

(Video) Rachel Maddow: GOP succeeds in wasting Democrats' time in power. You would think they would have learned something from the Obamacare debacle.

Jobless in PA livid over new unemployment system errors as state declares victory. When's the best time to migrate to a new system using an entirely different platform and paradigm? Probably not during a pandemic with a record number of claimaints. Duh.

Susan Collins sad that Joe Manchin has replaced her as most annoying Senator. "It's only fitting that the baton be passed to an obscure senator from West Virginia," she said. (Andy Borowitz)

Biden disliked Putin before it was cool. For more than 20 years, Joe Biden has questioned Vladimir Putin's true intentions.

US to buy 500 million Covid vaccine doses for world. But let's draw the line at free beer and lottery tickets, ok?

San Francisco may be first major US city to hit herd immunity, experts say. City still recording small number of Covid cases per day but they don't appear to be triggering wider outbreaks.

From Crazytown:

Trump returns as a diminished TV draw. Not having the nuclear codes kind of diminishes the drama, I guess...

QAnon at a crossroads: leaders try to rein in the crazy. With Q silent and Trump out of office, QAnon's heroes are trying to pump the brakes on the right's most popular nutty conspiracy theory.

'5G towers,' other conspiracies flourish at hearing on vaccine bill. "They can put a key on their forehead, it sticks. They can put spoons and forks all over them and they can stick, because now we think there's a metal piece to that. There's been people who have long suspected that there was some sort of an interface, yet to be defined interface, between what's being injected in these shots and all of the 5G towers." (Video)

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KGB's daily agglomeration of stuff I find interesting:

Among other things, today is

On this date:

Birthdays

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Miscellany

Rio de Janeiro's Christ statue: 'Thou shalt not bribe'. The Rio branch of the international accounting firm KPMG has signed an agreement with the administration of the Sanctuary of Christ the Redeemer to ensure operations are aboveboard.

Retired nun will plead guilty to stealing more than $835K from Catholic school ...to "pay for expenses that the order would not have approved, much less paid for, including large gambling expenses incurred at casinos and certain credit card charges..."

"Not a good day to get tacos..."two Florida men flying to get tacos when their small plane went down in the Everglades."

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KGB Cap
KGB Merch


Categories: Andy Borowitz, Cicadas, Clergy, Computers, Congress, Covid-19, Democrats, Donald Trump, Florida, Jesus, Joe Biden, Joe Manchin, QAnon, Rachel Maddow, Republicans, Susan Collins, Vladimir Putin


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Know your rights
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Published Thursday, June 14, 2018 @ 10:31 AM EDT
Jun 14 2018

On June 7, Tiana Smalls, whose Facebook profile describes her as owner of Fire Flower Beauty Company, was riding a Greyhound bus from Bakersfield, California to Las Vegas, Nevada. As the bus approached an agricultural checkpoint at the Nevada state line, Ms. Smalls said the driver made an unusual announcement: "We are being boarded by Border Patrol. Please be prepared to show your documentation upon request."

Ms. Smalls immediately reacted. According to a description she posted on Facebook, she stood up and loudly said, "This is a violation of your Fourth Amendment rights. You don't have to show them shit!!!" She then used Google Translate to repeat her message in Spanish, reassuring the Spanish-speaking woman sitting beside her and probably countless other fellow passengers.

Border Patrol agents boarded the bus and started to ask the passengers for their "documentation." Ms. Smalls stood up again and shouted, "You have NO RIGHT to ask me for anything! This is harassment and racial profiling! We are not within 100 miles of a border so [these agents] have no legal right or jurisdiction here!"

Ms. Smalls' simple and courageous act of resistance was enough. The Border Patrol agents, realizing that they would face an uphill battle, immediately retreated, telling the driver to continue on.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials claim sweeping authority to operate in the interior of the United States. Their basis for doing so is a federal statute that purports to allow CBP officers to undertake certain enforcement activities without a warrant "within a reasonable distance from any external boundary of the United States." A federal regulation adopted in 1953 inexplicably defines a "reasonable distance" as up to 100 air miles from any external boundary of the United States—an area that sweeps up nearly two-thirds of the U.S. population (200 million people), nine of our 10 largest cities, and several entire states (including Florida, Maine, Massachusetts, and New Jersey). And still CBP cheats its way to more interior encroachment, for example, by claiming that the Great Lakes shared with Canada are "functional equivalents of the border" so that all of Michigan and Chicago are in its reach.

CBP often overlooks basic civics in making this power grab, however. No act of Congress can authorize a violation of the Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land.

In general, the Fourth Amendment allows law enforcement to enter business areas that are open to the public. In nonpublic areas, however, law enforcement officers must have a warrant, consent, or "exigent circumstances" for their entry to be constitutional. Because you need a ticket to board a Greyhound bus, these are nonpublic areas. In a recent letter to Greyhound's general counsel, the ACLU explained that Greyhound is not obligated to consent to the Border Patrol's warrantless and unjustified raids on its buses.

Since Trump took office, CBP activity far from our actual borders has increasedsignificantly. ACLU affiliates in Washington, California, Arizona, Michigan, New York, Vermont, and Florida have reported multiple incidents involving Border Patrol agents boarding Greyhound buses without a warrant or consent, and terrorizing passengers by demanding their papers. These reports indicate that Border Patrol agents routinely engage in racial and ethnic profiling, singling people out for the color of their skin or accents.

We live in dark times. Many people want to stand up for their own rights and the rights of others, but feel unsure about how. Ms. Smalls' experience, like that of two brave women in Montana last month, teaches us that sometimes knowing one's rights and speaking out with confidence delivers truth to abusive power.

https://medium.com/aclu/one-woman-who-knew-her-rights-forced-border-patrol-off-a-greyhound-bus-c9f5c6275588


Categories: ACLU, Border Patrol, Congress, Donald Trump, Fourth Amendment, Greyhound, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Customs and Border Protection


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Hyopcrisy
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Published Thursday, June 23, 2016 @ 8:12 AM EDT
Jun 23 2016


Categories: Children, Congress, Hypocrisy, Paul Ryan, Republicans


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Through the looking glass...
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Published Friday, March 18, 2016 @ 9:50 AM EDT
Mar 18 2016

This year's presidential election has the potential to be one of the greatest political trainwrecks in American history.

The founding fathers had a low opinion of the average citizen. That's why Presidents are selected by the Electoral College and not by popular vote.

The founders also didn't believe in partisan politics, which is why there's no mention of political parties in the Constitution, so the present method of primary elections, caucuses, and party conventions evolved erratically over the years.

While most savvy voters know the president and vice president aren't elected by popular vote, and that each party's nominees are selected by delegates attending national conventions, they may not know that, in most cases, those delegates can vote for whomever they want, regardless of the results of their state's primaries or caucuses after the first ballot. There are even five states and territories who don't hold primaries or caucuses, resulting in 112 delegates who can vote according to their personal preferences without direction from voters.

Consider the 1968 Democratic convention. Despite the fact that over 80 percent of primary voters had supported anti-Vietnam war candidates, the "peace" candidate, Senator Eugene McCarthy, was defeated by Vice President Hubert Humphrey, who had not competed in any of the primaries, instead gaining his delegates in caucus states that were controlled by party leaders.

The Humphrey business resulted in many- but not all- states to adopt rules where delegates are bound to vote for the winning candidate during the convention's first ballot. After that, it's a free-for-all.

The worst case scenario to date was the 1924 Democratic convention, a 16-day marathon that required 103 ballots to select a candidate. Wikipedia notes that during his 1960 campaign, John F. Kennedy cited the dilemma of the Massachusetts delegation at the 1924 convention when making light of his own campaign problems: "Either we must switch to a more liberal candidate or move to a cheaper hotel."

What could happen this year? Say Trump is nominated, despite the party's efforts to thwart his campaign. Disgruntled Republicans could put together a third-party ticket, in an effort to prevent any candidate from winning the absolute majority of 270 electoral votes necessary to win the general election.

Should that happen, the president would be chosen by that shining example of civic responsibility, the U.S. House of Representatives, composed of lame duck Congressmen, many with an axe to grind. The U.S. Senate gets to pick the vice president.

Could it come to that? Probably not. But the odds are good the Republicans will have a brokered convention, and the Democrats may have one as well, if Bernie Sanders can convince uncommitted superdelegates to take his side.


Categories: Congress, Democrats, Elections, Electoral College, Politics, Republicans, Voting


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Quotes of the day: Congress
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Published Tuesday, March 03, 2015 @ 9:40 PM EST
Mar 03 2015

A flea can be taught everything a congressman can.
-Mark Twain

A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.
-Unattributed

All the public business in Congress now connects itself with intrigues, and there is great danger that the whole government will degenerate into a struggle of cabals.
-John Quincy Adams

America, where thanks to Congress, there are forty million laws to enforce the Ten Commandments.
-Anatole France

Being elected to Congress is regarded as being sent on a looting raid for one's friends.
-George F. Will

But with Congress- every time they make a joke it's a law. And every time they make a law it's a joke.
-Will Rogers

Congress acknowledged that society's accumulated myths and fears about disability and disease are as handicapping as are the physical limitations that flow from actual impairment.
-William J. Brennan, Jr.

Congress is continually appointing fact-finding committees, when what we really need are some fact-facing committees.
-Roger Allen

Congress is so beholden to the money that any solution in the general interest will be frustrated and subverted by the corporate interests who feel they will be damaged by progress, fair play and justice.
-E.L. Doctorow

Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens-and then everybody disagrees.
-Boris Marshalov

Congress no longer declares war or makes budgets. So that's the end of the constitution as a working machine.
-Gore Vidal

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, except to encourage attendance in Christian churches; or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, except to require prayer in schools; or abridging the freedom of speech, except for those questioning the Bush administration; or of the press, except that not owned by Rupert Murdoch; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, except those protesting pre-emptive wars; and to petition the government for a redress of grievance, except those we don't like.
-Gary Hart

Congress: the legislative stone in America's urethra.
-Jon Stewart

Fifty years ago I promised myself that I would retire on the day that I would be required to write a song about trans-vaginal ultrasounds. I decided to unretire when I heard that member of Congress had been cavorting in the Sea of Galilee. How can you make that up?
-Mark Russell

He still had a fragment of his boyhood belief that congressmen were persons of intelligence and importance.
-Sinclair Lewis

I am amazed that Congressmen can pass a bill imposing severe penalties on anyone who burns the American flag, whereas they are responsible for burning that for which the flag stands.
-Alan Watts

I'll sign on for results-based pay for teachers the day Congress gets the same deal.
-John Fugelsang

I've had a tough time learning to act like a congressman. Today I accidentally spent some of my own money.
-Joseph P. Kennedy II

If I was a President and wanted something I would claim I didn't want it. Congress has not given any President anything he wanted in the last ten years. Be against anything and then he is sure to get it.
-Will Rogers

If the presidency is the head of the American body politic, Congress is its gastrointestinal tract. Its vast and convoluted inner workings may be mysterious and unpleasant, but in the end they excrete a great deal of material whose successful passage is crucial to our nation's survival.
-Jon Stewart

In a body (like Congress) where there are more than one hundred talking lawyers, you can make no calculation upon the termination of any debate.
-Franklin P. Adams

In your country club, your church and business, about 15 percent of the people are screwballs, lightweights and boobs and you would not want those people unrepresented in Congress.
-Alan Simpson

Invest in America. Buy a Congressman. (T-shirt)
-Unattributed

Only the good die young, which explains the average age of Congressmen.
-Unattributed

Other employees would do no better than Congressmen if the boss showed an interest in them only once in two years.
-Unattributed

Sloths move at the speed of congressional debate but with greater deliberation and less noise.
-P.J. O'Rourke

Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it.
-Cullen Hightower

The establishment of the chaplainship in Congress is a palpable violation of equal rights as well as of Constitutional principles. The danger of silent accumulations and encroachments by ecclesiastical bodies has not sufficiently engaged attention in the U.S.
-James Madison

The mistakes made by Congress wouldn't be so bad if the next Congress didn't keep trying to correct them.
-Cullen Hightower

The people of these United States are the rightful masters of both Congresses and courts, not to overthrow the Constitution, but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.
-Abraham Lincoln

The Republicans in Congress lost their way. They swapped principle for power. They ended up with neither. They deserved to lose.
-Alan Greenspan

The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the President has to tell 'em.
-Will Rogers

The United States Congress, like a lot of rich people, lives in two houses.
-John Green

The White House used to belong to the American people. At least that's what I learned from history books and from covering every president starting with John F. Kennedy. But now the 201-year-old Executive Mansion belongs only to a select, elitist group of people, including top government officials, members of Congress and the press corps. They and some others, all of whom are screened in advance, are welcome. But most people are not- not anymore.
-Helen Thomas

There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen.
-Unattributed

There are people in Congress I would not trust to look after my plants.
-Andy Borowitz

There are so many women on the floor of Congress, it looks like a mall.
-Henry Hyde

There is more selfishness and less principle among members of Congress, as well as others, than I had any conception (of), before I became President of the U.S.
-James K. Polk

There is no distinctly American criminal class- except Congress.
-Mark Twain

There's not an action that I take that you don't have some folks in Congress who say that I'm usurping my authority. Some of those folks think I usurp my authority by having the gall to win the presidency.
-Barack Obama

They go up there and forget who brung 'em to the dance. (re: Congressmen in Washington DC)
-Ann Richards

They say that women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men.
-Clare Boothe Luce

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
-Will Rogers

Too many critics mistake the deliberations of the Congress for its decisions.
-Sam Rayburn

We elect Democrats to the Congress to give us stuff and we elect Republicans to the White House so we don't have to pay for it.
-Charlie McDowell

We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex-but Congress can.
-Cullen Hightower

Well, they finally stopped us from sending marines to every war that we could hear of. They are having one in Afghanistan. The thing will be over before Congress can pronounce it, much less find out where it is located.
-Will Rogers

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.
-Bill Maher

What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? (As Washington, DC mayor)
-Marion S. Barry, Jr.

When Congress alters the federal balance, it must carefully consider the consequences of doing so.
-Anthony Kennedy

Whether ours shall continue to be a government of laws and not of men is now for Congress and ultimately the American people to decide.
-Archibald Cox

You know, I think many people have the mistaken impression that Congress regulates Wall Street. In truth that's not the case. The real truth is that Wall Street regulates the Congress.
-Bernie Sanders

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(March 4 is also the birthday of Robert Orben..)


Categories: Congress, Quotes of the day, Quotes on a topic


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Send in the clowns
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Published Monday, January 05, 2015 @ 6:31 AM EST
Jan 05 2015

The 114th United States Congress begins today. To prepare you for the inevitable onslaught of political rhetoric, here's the master of language and comedy, George Carlin, airing his complaints.

"They speak, of course, with great caution, because they must take care not to actually say anything."

Taken from a May 19, 1999 appearance before the National Press Club, Carlin's observations are free of profanity, which make them shareable. Pass along the link: http://youtu.be/UJRSHqeu_WM

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(January 5 is also the birthday of Konrad Adenour.)


Categories: Congress, George Carlin, Video, YouTube


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Cleaning off the desktop, part 3: Holiday miscellany
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Published Sunday, December 22, 2013 @ 8:45 PM EST
Dec 22 2013

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Categories: Batman, Christmas, Christopher Walken, Church and State, Civil Rights, Cleaning off the desktop, Congress, Fox News, Holidays, Politics


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Clearing off the desktop...
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Published Sunday, December 15, 2013 @ 2:42 PM EST
Dec 15 2013


Pumpkin and Chloe share a bed.
In related news, Hell has frozen over.

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I don't think granddaughter Joelle is buying
the whole dancing sugarplums visions thing.


Categories: Cats, Cleaning off the desktop, Congress, KGB Family, Miscellany


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Monty Python reference of the day
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Published Wednesday, October 16, 2013 @ 4:23 PM EDT
Oct 16 2013


Categories: Congress, Monty Python, Observations


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Meme of the day: Hey, Boehner...
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Published Tuesday, October 08, 2013 @ 7:42 AM EDT
Oct 08 2013


Categories: Congress, John Boehner, Meme of the day, Samuel L. Jackson


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Shutdown-A-Palooza
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Published Sunday, October 06, 2013 @ 4:08 AM EDT
Oct 06 2013

Ok, let's get it all out of our systems...

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"I've got a nice house and a kid in college, and I'll tell you we cannot handle it. Giving our paycheck away when you still worked and earned it? That's just not going to fly.
-Congressman Lee Terry (R-NE)

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"It's a problem for us because the other side has locked up the stupid vote."
-Congressman Alan Grayson (D-FL)

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The Republican Party is like the corpse in Weekend at Bernie's, and the Tea Party is the two guys who put a hat and sunglasses on it and dragged it around town."
-Bill Maher

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"The government shutdown could cost the American economy $300 million a day. To put that in perspective, it would be like every day the economy released a new Lone Ranger movie."
–Conan O'Brien

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I wasn't happy about the country being controlled by the richest one percent, but I really hate it being controlled by the dumbest one percent.
-Andy Borowitz

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"At least here in America, crucial agencies like the U.S. Border Patrol are still on the job. That's a good thing. The last thing we need is an influx of Canadians, with their politeness and a government that's open every day."
–Craig Ferguson

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There is nothing I dread so much as a division of the Republic into two great parties, each arranged under its leader and converting measures in opposition to each other.
-John Adams

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Thanks to God that he gave me stubbornness when I know I am right.
-John Adams

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REMEMBER: You go to war with the army you have but you don't get people health insurance until every detail is perfect.
-@LOLGOP

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Categories: Congress, Politics, Tea Party


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Oh, New York Daily News, I love you...
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Published Tuesday, October 01, 2013 @ 9:20 AM EDT
Oct 01 2013


Categories: Congress, News Media, Politics


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A country united
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Published Friday, September 06, 2013 @ 7:27 AM EDT
Sep 06 2013

Some would add the President and his cabinet as well. Via the ever-reliable Onion.


Categories: Congress, Syria, The Onion


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