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Heat, wildfires, IRS, flesh eating parasites, governors gone wild, Airplane!
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Published Friday, July 02, 2021 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Jul 02 2021

KGB Report will return on Tuesday, July 6. Have a safe Independence Day holiday!

Be A Patriot
(Salt Lake Tribune)

Town that recorded highest temperature in Canada's history destroyed by wildfire. More than 1,000 people living in and around Lytton, B.C., northeast of Vancouver, were forced to leave with little notice Wednesday. They raced out of town in every direction as smoke and flames swallowed the community in minutes.

The IRS is swamped with 35 million unprocessed tax returns, meaning people will have to wait longer for refunds. Former IRS Commissioner John Koskinen told The Washington Post's Jeff Stein that "the problem is not with IRS employees who work very hard. It's with Republicans in Congress who have refused to provide adequate funding for 10 years."

China building more than 100 'nuclear' missile silos in desert. Satellite footage shows 'alarming development' that signals possible expansion of nuclear capabilities.

The biggest threat to America is America itself. We Americans repeat the mantra that "we're No. 1" even though the latest Social Progress Index, a measure of health, safety and well-being around the world, ranked the United States No. 28. Even worse, the United States was one of only three countries, out of 163, that went backward in well-being over the last decade.

Flesh eating parasites skyrocket in the US.

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From Crazytown:

Trump calls U.S. military generals 'woke,' 'weak and ineffective leaders'.

Trump Organization and CFO Allen Weisselberg plead not guilty to tax crimes. Prosecutors described a yearslong scheme to compensate executives "off the books" to avoid paying taxes.

Govs Gone Wild: Unhinged, Uncensored, Uninformed (Video)

Seditionists' roundup... "not the tightest zip ties in the bag..." And a vertical penile fracture. (Video)

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KGB's daily agglomeration of stuff I find interesting:

Among other things, today is

On this date:

  • 1698 - Thomas Savery patented the first steam engine.
  • 1776 - The Continental Congress adopted a resolution severing ties with the Kingdom of Great Britain although the wording of the formal Declaration of Independence was not published until July 4.
  • 1839 - Twenty miles off the coast of Cuba, 53 kidnapped Africans led by Joseph Cinqué mutiny and took over the slave ship Amistad.
  • 1881 - Charles J. Guiteau shot and fatally wounded U.S. President James A. Garfield (who died of complications from his wounds on September 19).
  • 1890 - The U.S. Congress passed the Sherman Antitrust Act.
  • 1897 - British-Italian engineer Guglielmo Marconi obtained a patent for radio in London.
  • 1900 - The first Zeppelin flight took place on Lake Constance near Friedrichshafen, Germany.
  • 1900 - Jean Sibelius' Finlandia received its première performance in Helsinki with the Helsinki Philharmonic Society conducted by Robert Kajanus. (Video)
  • 1921 - U.S. President Warren G. Harding signed the Knox-Porter Resolution formally ending the war between the United States and Germany.
  • 1928 - The Jenkins Television Corporation goes on air with W3XK, the first television broadcasting station in the USA
  • 1937 - Amelia Earhart and navigator Fred Noonan were last heard from over the Pacific Ocean while attempting to make the first equatorial round-the-world flight.
  • 1955 - "Lawrence Welk Show" premiered on ABC (Video)
  • 1956 - Elvis Presley recorded "Hound Dog" and "Don't Be Cruel" (Video)
  • 1962 - The first Walmart store, then known as Wal-Mart, opened for business in Rogers, Arkansas.
  • 1964 - U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 meant to prohibit segregation in public places.
  • 1980 - The movie "Airplane!" premiered (Video: Airplane! is actually a remake of Zero Hour!)
  • 2002 - Steve Fossett became the first person to fly solo around the world nonstop in a balloon. Fossett disappeared on September 3, 2007 while flying a light aircraft over the Great Basin Desert, between Nevada and California. Extensive searches proved unsuccessful, and he was declared legally dead in February of the following year.

Birthdays

  • 1877 - Hermann Hesse, German-born Swiss poet, novelist, and painter, Nobel Prize laureate (d. 1962)
  • 1906 - Hans Bethe, German-American physicist and academic, Nobel Prize laureate (d. 2005)
  • 1908 - Thurgood Marshall, American lawyer and jurist, 32nd Solicitor General of the United States (d. 1993)
  • 1916 - Ken Curtis, American actor and singer (d. 1991)
  • 1922 - Pierre Cardin, Italian-French fashion designer (d. 2020)
  • 1925 - Medgar Evers, American soldier and activist (d. 1963)
  • 1927 - Brock Peters, American actor (d. 2005)
  • 1929 - Imelda Marcos, Filipino politician; 10th First Lady of the Philippines
  • 1931 - Robert Ito, Canadian-born actor (Sam-Quincy ME)
  • 1932 - Dave Thomas, American businessman and philanthropist, founded Wendy's (d. 2002)
  • 1937 - Polly Holliday, American actress
  • 1946 - Ron Silver, American actor, director, and political activist (d. 2009)
  • 1947 - Larry David, American actor, comedian, producer, and screenwriter
  • 1948 - Saul Rubinek, German-born Canadian character actor, director, playwright, and producer of television, theatre, and film
  • 1986 - Lindsay Lohan, American actress and singer
  • 1990 - Margot Robbie, Australian actress and producer

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Miscellany

Senate passes bill wishing younger generations best of luck stopping climate change. (The Onion)

Parents of children called Alexa say their daughters are being bullied because it is the same name that Amazon uses for its virtual assistant.

Yes, a Florida man is actually accused of hiding meth inside this body part. Crystal rocks found in private area, deputies say.

Picasso kept in Maine house closet for 50 years is sold for $150K.

No, you can't recycle a bowling ball (but people sure keep trying). Why do 1,200 balls end up at New York City’s main recycling plant each year? People seem to think that because they are plastic, they are the same as, say, takeout containers. They are not.

Excruciating slip-up sees BBC News report confuse Bill Clinton with Bill Cosby. Oops.

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Categories: Alexa, Allen Weisselberg, amazon.com, America is..., Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, China, Climate change, Environment, Florida, IRS, January 6, Pablo Picasso, Republicans, The Onion


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Cosby out, Weisselberg in, Rummy dead, Trump ranks #41, oldest living man
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Published Thursday, July 01, 2021 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Jul 01 2021

Trump Organization and its CFO indicted by Manhattan grand jury, report says. The indictments against the organization and Weisselberg will stay sealed until Thursday afternoon, the report said. The Post also reported, citing sources, that Weisselberg is expected to surrender Thursday morning. Many are expecting Weisselberg to flip on Trump.

Bill Cosby was set free because of a deal he made with a DA who went on to represent Trump in his second impeachment trial.

Dozens of people have died in Canada amid an unprecedented heat wave that has smashed temperature records. Before Sunday, temperatures in Canada had never passed 45°C (113°F). Canada broke its temperature record for a third straight day on Tuesday - 49.6°C (121.3°F) in Lytton, British Columbia.

California wildfire grows to 13,000 acres, threatens marijuana farms.

Unexpected pandemic effects: 'Great Resignation' gains steam as return-to-work plans take effect. 95% of workers are now considering changing jobs, and 92% are even willing to switch industries to find the right position, according to a recent report by jobs site Monster.com. So much for the too much government unemployment benefits theory. Detail via NextDraft. "People are forgetting that restaurant workers have actually experienced decades of abuse and trauma. The pandemic is just the final straw." (Turnover is a way of life; the average job tenure for hourly food service workers is less than two months...)

Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has died at the age of 88. Guess you could say Rummy's passed on that great known unknown.

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From Crazytown:

Inside gun-surrendering criminal Mark McCloskey's very sad St. Louis rally. "Noted local criminal Mark McCloskey played host to a barbecue/political rally on Sunday afternoon, drawing tens of admirers to the sweltering parking lot of a closed outlet mall in St. Louis County to celebrate the one-year anniversary of the time he pulled a gun on a crowd of people who otherwise would never have noticed or cared he existed. Despite the fact that none of the big names who had been billed to speak at the June 27 event showed up, and despite the fact that ticket sales were so dismal attendance was opened to the public for free at the last minute, St. Louis' most gun-surrendering lawyer plowed right ahead with the First Annual Pink Shirt Guy BBQ and RINO Roast in the St. Louis Mills parking lot. Grievance and untethered delusion topped the menu at the event, with McCloskey and a roster of speakers largely unknown outside the fever swamps of the far right taking turns condemning everything from critical race theory (their newest and most nonsensical bogeyman) to "cultural Marxism" (George Soros' fault of course, but how dare you level accusations of antisemitism) to the "radical left" agenda of (hahahahaha) Joe Biden. The whole gun-and-pony show was in service of McCloskey's deeply stupid run for U.S. Senate, because if there's one thing that qualifies a man for public office in the Republican party in 2021 it's a willingness to point a firearm at those with whom you disagree politically."

Trump debuts at 41st in C-SPAN presidential rankings. This survey marks Trump's first appearance on the list, on which the one-term president placed higher than only three other presidents: Franklin Pierce, Andrew Johnson and the perpetually last-ranked James Buchanan. Barack Obama moved up to the number 10 spot.

The 2024 GOP Presidential campaigns are already staring. And they're insane (video).

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KGB's daily agglomeration of stuff I find interesting:

July is Bank Account Bonus Month, Cell Phone Courtesy Month, Cord Blood Awareness Month, Hitchhiking Month, Horseradish Month, Independent Retailer Month, Juvenile Arthritis Awareness Month, Lasagna Awareness Month, Lost Pet Prevention Month, Minority Tourism Month, National Anti-Boredom Month, National Baked Bean Month, National Bison Month, National Blueberry Month, National Cleft & Craniofacial Awareness & Prevention Month, National Culinary Arts Month, National Doghouse Repairs Month, National Family Reunion Month, National Hemp Month, National HIV Awareness Month, National Hot Dog Month, National Ice Cream Month, National Park and Recreation Month, National Peach Month, National Picnic Month, National Water Gardening Month, Plastic Free July, Sarcoma Awareness Month, Unlucky Month for Weddings, UV Safety Awareness Month, Wild About Wildlife Month, World Watercolor Month, and Worldwide Bereaved Parents Awareness Month.

Among other things, today is

On this date:

Birthdays

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Miscellany

It's so dry in California right now that drinking water is literally tasting like dirt.

112-year-old Puerto Rican dubbed world's oldest living man.

Ocala (Florida) Fire Chief whose ex-wife went on naked rampage at Outback, fired for creating uncomfortable work environment.

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Categories: Allen Weisselberg, Bill Cosby, Climate change, Covid-19, Donald Rumsfeld, Donald Trump, Environment, Florida, Mark McCloskey, Unemployment


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Cicadas, reining in the crazy, nun embezzlement, Jesus gets an accountant
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Published Thursday, June 10, 2021 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Jun 10 2021

Reporters traveling to the United Kingdom for President Joe Biden's first overseas trip were delayed seven hours after their chartered plane was overrun by cicadas.

(Video) Rachel Maddow: GOP succeeds in wasting Democrats' time in power. You would think they would have learned something from the Obamacare debacle.

Jobless in PA livid over new unemployment system errors as state declares victory. When's the best time to migrate to a new system using an entirely different platform and paradigm? Probably not during a pandemic with a record number of claimaints. Duh.

Susan Collins sad that Joe Manchin has replaced her as most annoying Senator. "It's only fitting that the baton be passed to an obscure senator from West Virginia," she said. (Andy Borowitz)

Biden disliked Putin before it was cool. For more than 20 years, Joe Biden has questioned Vladimir Putin's true intentions.

US to buy 500 million Covid vaccine doses for world. But let's draw the line at free beer and lottery tickets, ok?

San Francisco may be first major US city to hit herd immunity, experts say. City still recording small number of Covid cases per day but they don't appear to be triggering wider outbreaks.

From Crazytown:

Trump returns as a diminished TV draw. Not having the nuclear codes kind of diminishes the drama, I guess...

QAnon at a crossroads: leaders try to rein in the crazy. With Q silent and Trump out of office, QAnon's heroes are trying to pump the brakes on the right's most popular nutty conspiracy theory.

'5G towers,' other conspiracies flourish at hearing on vaccine bill. "They can put a key on their forehead, it sticks. They can put spoons and forks all over them and they can stick, because now we think there's a metal piece to that. There's been people who have long suspected that there was some sort of an interface, yet to be defined interface, between what's being injected in these shots and all of the 5G towers." (Video)

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KGB's daily agglomeration of stuff I find interesting:

Among other things, today is

On this date:

Birthdays

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Miscellany

Rio de Janeiro's Christ statue: 'Thou shalt not bribe'. The Rio branch of the international accounting firm KPMG has signed an agreement with the administration of the Sanctuary of Christ the Redeemer to ensure operations are aboveboard.

Retired nun will plead guilty to stealing more than $835K from Catholic school ...to "pay for expenses that the order would not have approved, much less paid for, including large gambling expenses incurred at casinos and certain credit card charges..."

"Not a good day to get tacos..."two Florida men flying to get tacos when their small plane went down in the Everglades."

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Categories: Andy Borowitz, Cicadas, Clergy, Computers, Congress, Covid-19, Democrats, Donald Trump, Florida, Jesus, Joe Biden, Joe Manchin, QAnon, Rachel Maddow, Republicans, Susan Collins, Vladimir Putin


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Stupidity as a defense, KGB on WNN, Orson Welles on Noah
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Published Thursday, June 03, 2021 @ 10:25 AM EDT
Jun 03 2021

Defense for some Capitol rioters: election misinformation. Falsehoods about the election helped bring insurrectionists to the Capitol on Jan. 6, and now some who are facing criminal charges for their actions during the riot hope their gullibility might save them or at least engender some sympathy.

Earth's ancient climate warns that we need to take urgent action, study suggests. "If we allow fossil fuel burning to continue to grow, our grandchildren may experience CO2 levels that haven't been seen on Earth for around 50 million years, a time when crocodiles roamed the Arctic"...

Pupil size is a marker of intelligence. There is a surprising correlation between baseline pupil size and several measures of cognitive ability.

Trump blog page shuts down for good. "...asked online later Wednesday whether the move was a "precursor" to the former president joining another "social media platform,"" Miller replied: "Yes, actually, it is. Stay tuned!" Someone should say something to them about the status of MySpace...

Danish radio journalist interviewed man while having sex with him at swingers club. "My mother just thinks it's funny and laughs, my father thought it was really cool." That explains a lot.

Aquakarma: A boat burst into flames after its passengers allegedly harassed a group flying LGBTQ pride flags.

Millions of Americans could face eviction as housing protection expires in June. Around 15% of adult renters are not current on their housing payments, according to an analysis by The Center on Budget and Policy Priorities.

Florida Man: 'Stand your ground' defense rejected in iguana killing. A judge has rejected the “stand your ground” defense of a Florida man who said he beat an iguana to death only after it attacked him, biting him on the arm.

Candidate interrupted by sex toy on drone, punched at event. A New Mexico sheriff who is running for mayor of Albuquerque was interrupted while on stage at a campaign event by a flying drone with a sex toy attached to it and a man who punched him.

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KGB's daily agglomeration of stuff I find interesting:

Among other things, today is Chimborazo Day, Corpus Christi, National Chocolate Macaroon Day, National Egg Day, National Itch Day, National Moonshine Day, Repeat Day, and World Clubfoot Day.

Birthdays

That time I did the weather with Anderson Cooper and Juju Chang on ABC World News Now. (Video)

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Special bonus: a wonderful monologue by Orson Welles from an old Dick Cavett show. (Video)


Categories: ABC World News Now, Cartoons, Dick Cavett, Donald Trump, Environment, Florida, January 6, Orson Welles


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Way too much stuff happened on this date
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Published Tuesday, May 25, 2021 @ 12:00 AM EDT
May 25 2021

Wow... lots of things happened on May 25:

1803, Ralph Waldo Emerson was born;
1878, Gilbert and Sullivan's comic opera "H.M.S. Pinafore" opened at the Opera Comique in London;
1921, Hal David was born;
1925, John T. Scopes was indicted for teaching human evolution in Tennessee;
1926, Claude Akins was born;
1929, Beverly Sills was born;
1936, Tom T. Hall was born;
1939, Sir Ian McKellen and Dixie Carter were born;
1943, Leslie Uggams was born;
1944, birth of Frank Oz;
1947, Karen Valentine was born;
1955, birth of Connie Selleca;
1960, Amy Klobuchar was born;
1961, U.S. President John F. Kennedy announced, before a special joint session of the US Congress, his goal to initiate a project to put a "man on the Moon" before the end of the decade. (video);
1962, The Isley Brothers release "Twist and Shout" (video) ;
1963, birth of Mike Myers;
1968, The Gateway Arch in St. Louis, Missouri was dedicated;
1969, "Midnight Cowboy" was released and Anne Heche was born;
1970, Octavia Spencer was born;
1977, the original "Star Wars" movie premiered (without the Episode IV-A New Hope subtitle);
1979, "Alien" debuted;
1983, "Return of the Jedi" hit theaters;
1986, The Hands Across America event took place;
1990, Vic Tayback died;
1992, Jay Leno became host of "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno";
2001, the first Towel Day;
2007, Charles Nelson Reilly died;
2011, the last episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" aired; (video)
2017, "Wonder Woman" was released;
2020, George Floyd was murdered in Minneapolis, Minnesota during an arrest.

Five years ago today:

"Donald Trump is now ahead of Hillary Clinton in the polls. This was reported today in the Washington Post and 2,000 years ago in the Book of Revelations."
-Conan O'Brien

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The Havana Syndrome first affected spies and diplomats in Cuba. Now it has spread to the White House. US officials suspect Russian spies are aiming microwave radiation devices at targets to collect intelligence from their computers and cell phones. Brain frying is just collateral- not intentional- damage.

re: spies: Jeff Bezos, a real-life Bond villain, may own James Bond very soon. The Wall Street Journal reports that Amazon's recently rumored plans to acquire MGM have taken a major step forward, in a roughly $9 billion deal that is one of the e-commerce giant's largest acquisitions.

re: wealth: Wikipedia is swimming in money— why is it begging people to donate? The site is way richer than it wants you to know.

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Why is Anthony Fauci hedging on the origins of the coronavirus? Three researchers from China's Wuhan Institute of Virology became sick enough in November 2019 that they sought hospital care, according to a previously undisclosed U.S. intelligence report that could add weight to growing calls for a fuller probe of whether the Covid-19 virus may have escaped from the laboratory. Nah. It was the takeout pangolin nuggets they got from Wuhan's Huanan Seafood Wholesale Market.

The 2021 vaccination map looks like the 2020 election map. The scary thing is if something that can save a lot of lives has fallen into the usual political traps, then pretty much anything can.

Speaking of scary things: Once nearly extinct, the Florida panther is making a comeback. Not as scary and aggressive as the Florida cougar.

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Republicans claim January 6th rioters were middle schoolers on field trip. (Andy Borowitz satire)

Senate GOP misrepresents Jan. 6 riot panel. (Associated Press; not satire, alas.)

cartoon: What Insurrection?

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Body of missing man found inside dinosaur statue. While police have not confirmed how he got inside, local media reports that the man dropped his phone inside the statue and was trying to retrieve it, BBC News reports. He fell inside, hanging upside down, and was unable to call for help.

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John Oliver humiliates local TV stations with 'sexual wellness blanket' sponsored content.

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A mysterious rise in methane levels is sparking global warming fears.

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US warns against all travel to Japan as Olympics loom. The State Department's warning, which followed the CDC alert, was more blunt. "Do not travel to Japan due to COVID-19, it said in the announcement, which raised the department's travel alert from Level 3 — Reconsider travel — to Level 4 — Do not travel. The previous alert was issued on April 21.

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"I assume the person who first said 'to coin a phrase' said it twice in a row."
-The Covert Comic


Categories: Andy Borowitz, Anthony Fauci, Covert Comic, Covid-19, Cuba, Florida, Havana Syndrome, James Bond, January 6, Japan, Jeff Bezos, John Oliver, May 25, MGM, Olympics, Republicans


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Going maskless, Arizona madness, birthdays, more memes
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Published Wednesday, April 28, 2021 @ 12:56 AM EDT
Apr 28 2021

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention eased its guidelines Tuesday on the wearing of masks outdoors, saying fully vaccinated Americans don’t need to cover their faces anymore unless they are in a big crowd of strangers. So we grabbed the dogs and some grandkids and headed to the park to enjoy the 80° temperatures.

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A so-called audit of the 2020 election in Arizona was always going to be crazy. This is something else. The counting has just begun, but already the audit has become almost inextricable from the far-right internet. There, audit-watchers share tips and concerns about security offered by Ron Watkins, a man suspected of helping birth the QAnon craze.

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Thought of the day: "I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another where the best fruit is."
-Terry Pratchett (b. Terence David John Pratchett on April 28, 1948 – March 12, 2015) (More Terry Pratchett quotes)

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Among other things, today is Biological Clock Day, Clean Comedy Day, Denim Day, Great Poetry Reading Day, International Guide Dog Day, International Noise Awareness Day, International Pay it Forward Day, National Blueberry Pie Day, National Cubicle Day, National Kiss Your Mate Day, National Superhero Day, Stop Food Waste Day, Workers' Memorial Day, and World Day for Safety and Health at Work.

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Remembering Lee Falk (b. Leon Harrison Gross; April 28, 1911 – March 13, 1999), American writer, theater director and producer, best known as the creator of the popular comic strips Mandrake the Magician (1934–2013) and The Phantom (1936–present). At the height of their popularity, these strips attracted over 100 million readers every day.

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Remembering Harper Lee (b. Nelle Harper Lee; April 28, 1926 – February 19, 2016), novelist best known for her 1960 novel "To Kill a Mockingbird", which won the 1961 Pulitzer Prize and has become a classic of modern American literature. (Quotes by Harper Lee)

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Remembering Carolyn Jones (b. Carolyn Sue Jones; April 28, 1930 – August 3, 1983) American actress of television and film. Jones began her film career in the early 1950s, and by the end of the decade had achieved recognition with a nomination for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for "The Bachelor Party" (1957) and a Golden Globe Award as one of the most promising new actresses of 1959. Her film career continued for another 20 years. In 1964, she began playing the role of Morticia Addams in the original black and white television series The Addams Family.

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On this day in 1930, the Independence Producers hosted the first night_game in the history of organized baseball in Independence, Kansas.

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Remembering Madge Sinclair (b. Madge Dorita Walters on April 28, 1938 – December 20, 1995) Jamaican actress best known for her roles in "Cornbread, Earl and Me" (1975), "Convoy" (1978), "Coming to America" (1988), Trapper John, M.D. (1980–1986), and the ABC TV miniseries "Roots" (1977). Sinclair also voiced the character of Sarabi, Mufasa's wife and Simba's mother, in the Disney animated feature film "The Lion King" (1994). A five-time Emmy Award nominee, Sinclair won the Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actress – Drama Series for her role as Empress Josephine in Gabriel's Fire in 1991. Sinclair, in her brief uncredited role as the captain of the USS Saratoga in "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home", is commonly cited as the first female Starfleet starship captain to appear in Star Trek. Years later, Sinclair played Geordi La Forge's mother, captain of the USS Hera, in Star Trek: The Next Generation's "Interface".

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Ann-Margret (b. Ann-Margret Olsson on April 28, 1941) is 80 today.

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On this day in 1947, Thor Heyerdahl and five crew mates set out from Peru on the Kon-Tiki to demonstrate that Peruvian natives could have settled Polynesia.

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Jay Leno (b. James Douglas Muir Leno on April 28, 1950) is 71 today. (Jay Leno quotes)



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On this date in 1965, CBS aired the special "My Name Is Barbra," Barbra Streisand's first television special. A solo performance, she sang 26 songs during the one hour program. The show was nominated for six Primetime Emmy Awards in 1965, for which it won five. Streisand won the award for "Outstanding Individual Achievements in Entertainment." It also won the Directors Guild of America Award for "Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Television" in 1966.

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On this date in 1973, The Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd, recorded at Abbey Road Studios reached number one on the US Billboard 200 chart, beginning a record-breaking 971-week chart run. The album is in the top 25 of the list of best-selling albums in the United States. Although it held the number one spot in the US for only a week, it remained in the Billboard album chart from 1973 to 1988. The album re-appeared on the Billboard charts with the introduction of the Top Pop Catalog Albums chart in May 1991. (Older "catalog albums" had been dropped from the weekly list between May 1999 and December 2009). In the UK, it is the seventh-best-selling album of all time and the highest selling album never to reach number one.

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"Florida hasn't always been the weird state claims the book "The Thing About Florida" which was written by, er, a Florida man. Speaking of Florida, here's a stupendous obituary from the Tampa Bay Times.

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Memes of the day:


Categories: Ann-Margret, Barbra Streisand, Baseball, Carolyn Jones, CDC, Covid-19, Florida, Harper Lee, Jay Leno, Kon-Tiki, Madge Sinclair, Meme of the day, Obituaries, Pink Floyd, QAnon, Republicans, Star Trek, Terry Pratchett, The Big Lie, The Dark Side of the Moon, Thor Heyerdahl


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Facebook jail, Grant's Tomb, Für Elise, why McDonalds ice cream machines are always broken
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Published Tuesday, April 27, 2021 @ 12:01 AM EDT
Apr 27 2021

I'm scheduled to be released from Facebook "jail" today, a week after I was suspended from the social networking platform for a satirical cartoon I posted six years ago that supposedly violated "Community Standards." My only guess is that it popped up in the daily "Memories" feed and got tagged there. Bear in mind, the post was perfectly okay in 2015, when I shared it from another account.

Ah, Community Standards... a vague set of rules established to protect Facebook from criticism that it harbors Bad People Thinking Bad Thoughts. But the standards are subjectively interpreted, and randomly and arbitrarily enforced by buggy AI software that doesn't understand the concepts of satire, sarcasm, and parody.

I was suspended two years ago for this picture, which Facebook's artificial intelligence bots tagged as "hate speech":

It's an obvious, self-deprecating male joke. I was offending men? Women? The dog?

Facebook has an appeal process, and for several times each day in the past week I stated my case in the form supplied, hit the send button, and received this:

I think it's hard coded into the page.

What's particularly frustrating is the whole banning business is totally opaque. You're told you can't post for a specified period of time, and then are directed to review the Community Standards to make certain you don't do it again. But in many cases, Facebook doesn't tell you what it was you were doing that triggered the censorbot: violating some advertising rule, promoting hate speech, etc. It's like being pinched by the feds, having them hand you the U.S. Code, and telling you to read it to discover why you were arrested.

And of course, there's no way to actually contact a human being at Facebook. If you go to the page to report a problem and send them the details, you just get a pop-up acknowledging submission.

The guy in the video sums up the whole thing. Understandably NSFW language, but it's no worse than some of the stuff that appears on Facebook that, for some reason, doesn't get flagged for violating community standards:

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Thought of the day: "I rise only to say that I do not intend to say anything. I thank you for your hearty welcomes and good cheers." (Known as Grant's perfect speech.)
-Ulysses S. Grant (born Hiram Ulysses Grant, April 27, 1822 – July 23, 1885) (More Ulysses S. Grant quotes)
Speaking of dead presidents... on this day in 1994, Richard M. Nixon was buried on the grounds of the Nixon Library in Yorba Linda, California.

Contemporary Thought of the Day: Just think, in 30 years this country will be run by people who were home schooled by alcoholics.

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Among other things, today is Babe Ruth Day, Marine Mammal Rescue Day, Matanzas Mule Day, Morse Code Day, National Devil Dog Day, National Prime Rib Day, National Tell a Story Day, International Design Day, and World Tapir Day.

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On this date in 1810, Ludwig van Beethoven wrote Bagatelle No. 25 in A minor (WoO 59, Bia 515) for solo piano, commonly known as Für Elise. One of his most popular compositions, and one of the most famous piano pieces of all time, it was not published during his lifetime, only being discovered (by Ludwig Nohl ) 40 years after his death.

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On this day in 1897, Grant's Tomb was dedicated. Officially the General Grant National Memorial, President Ulysses S. Grant and his wife Julia Grant are entombed there. Thus, "Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?" is a pedantic, trick question. No one is buried there.

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Sheena Easton (b. Sheena Shirley Orr, 27 April 1959) is 62 today. She had 15 US Top 40 singles, seven US top tens and one US No.1 on the Billboard Hot 100 between 1981 and 1991.

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The current junior United States Senator from New York, Cory Booker, (b. Cory Anthony Booker, April 27, 1969) is 52 today. Notable quote: "Before you speak to me about your religion, first show it to me in how you treat other people. Before you tell me how much you love your God, show me in how much you love all His children." (More Cory Booker quotes)

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On this date in 1981, Xerox introduced the first commercially available computer mouse.

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On this date in 2011, the 2011 Super Outbreak devastated parts of the Southeastern United States, especially the states of Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, and Tennessee. 205 tornadoes touched down on April 27 alone, killing more than 300 and injuring hundreds more.

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Florida man indicted for selling over $1 million worth of toxic COVID-19 'miracle cure' that was bleach.

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Why the world should worry about India. The world's largest vaccine producer is struggling to overcome its latest COVID-19 surge—and that's everyone's problem.

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When you see a headline like Biden isn't banning meat, USDA chief says, you just know it's just another conservative delusion.

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Now this is great investigative journalism, no sarcasm intended: the REAL reason McDonalds' ice cream machines are always broken.

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This looks interesting, but is it really necessary? Of course, the original 1961 film was a yet another take on Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, which itself was based on the 1562 narrative poem The Tragical History of Romeus and Juliet and a 1556 work by William Painter.

And speaking of movies, the television rating for the Oscars® plunged 58% from 2020, with less than ten million viewers tuning in.


Categories: Computers, Cory Booker, Covid-19, Facebook, Florida, Ice Cream, Ludwig Nohl, Ludwig van Beethoven, McDonald's, Oscars, Republicans, Richard Nixon, Romeo and Juliet, Sheena Easton, Steven Spielberg, Ulysses S. Grant, Weather, West Side Story, Xerox


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Earth Day is tomorrow
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Published Wednesday, April 21, 2021 @ 5:24 PM EDT
Apr 21 2021

Lest we forget:

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Among other things, today is Administrative Professionals Day, Big Word Day, Bulldogs are Beautiful Day, Keep Off the Grass Day, Kindergarten Day, National Banana Day, National Chocolate-Covered Cashews Day, National Tea Day, National Yellow Bat Day, San Jacinto Day, Thank You for Libraries Day, Tuna Rights Day, and World Creativity and Innovation Day.

On this date in 1986, Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone's vault on live television and found nothing.

On this date in 1956, Elvis Presley's first hit record, "Heartbreak Hotel", reached #1 on the charts. Co-written by Mae Boren Axton, her son Hoyt wrote Three Dog Night's 1971 hit "Joy to the World," which also hit #1 and stayed there for six weeks.

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When you try to post something after Facebook blocks you, they give you a chance to tell them why you think they're wrong. When you enter your text and press the button, you get this:

Every. Single. Time. Over 20 attempts in two days. I got this the last time they suspended me a month or so ago, so it's obvious their feedback request is just a hypocritical sham. And is appears they're getting more stupid and/or evil each day.

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But there are more important things about which to be concerned. Humungous flare from sun's nearest neighbor breaks records. Why should you care? This guy thinks the thing that caused it is heading this way and that Old Sol is next.

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Interesting approach: The Bible makes way more sense as a series of "Florida Man" stories.


Categories: Bible, Catastrophism, Earth Day, Environment, Facebook, Florida, Humpback Whales, Star Trek


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Adios Facebook
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Published Tuesday, April 20, 2021 @ 12:13 PM EDT
Apr 20 2021

I think I'm done with Facebook. Just got suspended for a week for a post that violates "community standards." Problem is, the item their moronic AI finds offensive was posted six years ago.

I'm still a bit away from updating the software here on the website, but I'm going to post something here daily to stay in practice.

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Granddaughter Leanna turns 18 on Friday. She's graduating from Taylor Allderdice High School next month and heading off to Edinboro University in the fall, probably majoring in math and computer science. Here she's taking a break from homeschooling with her beagle/basset rescue, Pepper.

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My mother is upset because her home appliances are failing. She bought them when she bought the house, back in the mid-1960s before consumer goods became mostly disposable. She's not upset that she has to purchase replacements; it's just that she'll be 95 this year, and she says she hates buying stuff that will last longer than she will. I'm not so sure... the day after Christmas she went shopping for the half-off Christmas cards she plans on sending next year.

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Speaking of the sixties, I went through all this social upheaval back then. I really don't need to experience it again. At least in the sixties we had good music.

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I tried to get into this, but I just end up fast-forwarding to see the special effects. I don't find the concept of Superman being unable to deal with his moody teenage twins particularly engaging.

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Florida sheriff tells people moving to state not to "Vote the stupid way you did up north."

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Republicans blame Biden for making millions of Americans' arms hurt.


Categories: Andy Borowitz, Florida, Joe Biden, KGB Blog News, KGB Family, Peter, Paul and Mary, Sixties, Superman


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