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It's getting weird out there...
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Published Saturday, June 06, 2020 @ 10:44 AM EDT
Jun 06 2020

Signs of the Apocalypse, #912: I'm not a believer in conspiracy theories or biblical prophecies, but I have to admit this caught my attention:

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Oregon Police Caught On Video Collaborating With Armed White Extremists

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Washington, DC Mayor Mayor Muriel E. Bowser renamed a street in front of the White House “Black Lives Matter Plaza” and had the slogan painted on the asphalt in massive yellow letters, a pointed salvo in her escalating dispute with President Trump over control of D.C. streets.

So Trump now lives at 1600 Black Lives Matter Plaza (that's the White House on the far right).

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Colbert scores again. (Video)


Categories: Black Lives Matter, Dolly Parton, Muriel E. Bowser, Revelations, Signs of the Apocalypse, Stephen Colbert, Twitter, Video, Washington, DC, YouTube


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Trump, dementia, asteroids, Twitter, laboring from home under duress.
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Published Wednesday, May 27, 2020 @ 12:00 AM EDT
May 27 2020

Today is Wednesday, May 27, the 148th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. 218 days remain until the end of the year.

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Among other things, today is Cellophane Tape Day, National Grape Popsicle Day, National Gray Day, National Senior Health & Fitness Day®, Nothing to Fear Day, Old-Time Player Piano Day, Sunscreen Protection Day, and World Product Day.

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On this day:

in 1837, American folk hero Wild Bill Hickock (d. August 2, 1876) was born.
in 1907, Silent Spring author Rachel Carson (d. April 14, 1964) was born. Quotes by Rachel Carson.
in 1911, Vincent Price (d. October 25, 1993) was born.
in 1911, Hubert H. Humphrey (d. January 13, 1978) was born. Quotes by Hubert H. Humphrey
in 1922, Christopher Lee (d. June 7, 2015) was born.
in 1923, Henry Kissinger was born. Quotes by Henry Kissinger
in 1933, Walt Disney's cartoon 3 Little Pigs was released. It won the Academy Award Best Animated film in 1934;
in 1934, Harlan Ellison (d. June 28, 2018) was born. Quotes by Harlan Ellison
in 1935, Lee Meriwether was born.
in 1936, Louis Gossett Jr. was born.
in 1937, the Golden Gate Bridge opened to pedestrian traffic.
in 1941, the German battleship Bismarck was sunk in the North Atlantic.
in 1962, the Centralia mine fire was ignited in the town's landfill above a coal mine. It could burn for another 250 years.
in 1995, actor Christopher Reeve (September 25, 1952 – October 10, 2004) was paralyzed from the neck down after falling from his horse in a riding competition in Culpeper, Virginia. Quotes by Christopher Reeve

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PSP Frontotemporal Dementia

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Where U.S. coronavirus cases are on the rise... Twenty U.S. states reported an increase in new cases of COVID-19 for the week ended May 24, up from 13 states in the prior week, as the death toll from the novel coronavirus approaches 100,000, according to a Reuters analysis.

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The coronavirus is deadliest where Democrats live. Democrats are far more likely to live in counties where the virus has ravaged the community, while Republicans are more likely to live in counties that have been relatively unscathed by the illness, though they are paying an economic price. Counties won by President Trump in 2016 have reported just 27 percent of the virus infections and 21 percent of the deaths — even though 45 percent of Americans live in these communities, a New York Times analysis has found.

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Remembering Sara Little Turnbull, whose bra cup design became the N95 mask.

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New hormone that stimulates sexual functions in fish could lead to novel infertility treatments in humans.

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Asteroid that doomed the dinosaurs struck earth at “deadliest possible” angle. Related: Meteor that blasted millions of trees in Siberia only 'grazed' Earth, new research says.

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Twitter refuses to remove Trump's false tweets, but in some cases has begun fact-checking them.

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America's unemployment numbers are stabilizing. That's not a good thing.

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Kate Mulgrew might 'move to Ireland' if Trump wins second term.

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McConnell: Talking about fifth coronavirus bill 'in the next month or so'.

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NOAA's outlook for US summer weather—and hurricane season... wet, dry, and windy.

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'Something isn't right': U.S. probes soaring beef prices. One hundred years ago, U.S. antitrust prosecutors broke down monopolies in meatpacking. But can they do it again?

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Thoughts of the day:

In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends.
-Charles Caleb Coulton

I was thinking that we all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.
-Peter De Vries

If you cast your bread upon the water and you have faith, you'll get back cash. If you don't have faith, you'll get soggy bread.
-Don King

Population density is a term that has two meanings.
-William W. Webb

Does history repeat itself, the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce? No, that's too grand, too considered a process. History just burps, and we taste again that raw-onion sandwich it swallowed centuries ago.
-Julian Barnes

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You are not working from home. You are laboring in confinement, under duress.

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Things are really rough out there.
Please consider donating to Feeding America
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Categories: Astronomy, Bismarck, Centralia Mine Fire, Christopher Lee, Christopher Reeve, Climate change, Covid-19, Democrats, Donald Trump, Frontotemporal Dementia, Golden Gate Bridge, Harlan Ellison, Henry Kissinger, Hubert H. Humphrey, Kate Mulgrew, Lee Meriwether, Louis Gossett Jr., Mitch McConnell, NOAA, Rachel Carson, Republicans, Three Little Pigs, Twitter, Unemployment, Vincent Price, Weather, Wild Bill Hickock


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John Wayne, Tonto, Grand Moff Tarkin, smart squirrels, Rhinestone Cowboy, and, of course, Covid-19
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Published Tuesday, May 26, 2020 @ 12:00 AM EDT
May 26 2020

Today is Tuesday, May 26, the 147th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. 219 days remain until the end of the year.

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Among other things, today is National Blueberry Cheesecake Day, National Cherry Dessert Day, National Paper Airplane Day, Sally Ride Day, World Dracula Day, World Lindy Hop Day, and World Redhead Day.

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Rmembering John Wayne (born Marion Robert Morrison; May 26, 1907 - June 11, 1979) (Video)

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Remembering Jay Silverheels (born Harold Jay Smith, May 26, 1912 - March 5, 1980) (Video)

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Remembering Peter Cushing (May 26, 1913 - August 11, 1994) (Video)

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The video you must watch today. A little over 21 minutes, but worth it. (Video)

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Stevie Nicks is 72 today; Pam Grier is 71 today; Bobcat Goldwaith is 58 today; Helena Bonham Carter is 54 today.

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Glen Campbell's recording of Rhinestone Cowboy was released on this day in 1975. (Video)

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China's 'Bat Woman' warns coronavirus is just tip of the iceberg. Shi Zhengli, a virologist renowned for her work on coronavirus in bats, said in an interview on Chinese state television that viruses being discovered now are "just the tip of the iceberg" and called for international cooperation in the fight against epidemics.

Related: Nobel laureates and science groups demand NIH review decision to kill coronavirus grant.

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First human trial of possible COVID-19 vaccine triggers rapid immune response, few side-effects. But... the ability to trigger these immune responses does not necessarily indicate that the vaccine will protect humans from COVID-19.

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Desperate rats are brazenly searching for food during the coronavirus pandemic, CDC warns. "They're mammals just like you and I, and so when you're really, really hungry, you're not going to act the same. You're going to act very bad, usually," Bobby Corrigan, an urban rodentologist, told NBC News.

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"The new normal." On weekend dedicated to war dead, Trump tweets insults, promotes baseless claims and plays golf.

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WHO pauses trial of hydroxychloroquine as coronavirus treatment amid safety concerns.

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Scientists warn against high doses of vitamin D supplementation for preventing or treating COVID-19. Examining previous studies in this field scientists found no evidence of a link between high dose supplementation of vitamin D in helping to prevent or successfully treat Covid-19 and cautioned against over supplementation of the vitamin, without medical supervision, due to health risks.

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What happens when your health care system is based on making a profit: At a time when medical professionals are putting their lives at risk, tens of thousands of doctors in the United States are taking large pay cuts.

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Wealthiest hospitals got billions in bailout intended for struggling health providers. Seattle-based Providence Health System, one of the country's largest and richest hospital chains is sitting on nearly $12 billion in cash, which it invests, Wall Street-style, in a good year generating more than $1 billion in profits. And this spring, Providence received at least $509 million in government funds, one of many wealthy beneficiaries of a federal program that is supposed to prevent health care providers from capsizing during the coronavirus pandemic.

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Hot dogs sales skyrocket by more than 120% during the coronavirus pandemic, as Americans embrace the 'best quarantine food.' The question no one is asking: Which will kill you first?

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Borowitz:

Fauci urges Trump to remain on golf course until pandemic is over.

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Trump says Republican National Convention might move from Charlotte if the state doesn't relax is coronavirus rules... but no other city wanted to host it. An article published by New York Magazine's Intelligencer blog laid out the GOP's struggle with the headline: "GOP Awards Its 2020 Convention to the Only City That Sorta Kinda Wanted It."

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Trump sees a 'rigged election' ahead. Democrats see a constitutional crisis in the making. The president’s increasingly amped-up rhetoric surrounding the integrity of the November elections has many wondering how he might respond to a defeat.

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China warns U.S. taking world to brink of 'new Cold War' over coronavirus. The ratcheting up of tensions comes as Beijing is hounded by questions over alleged missteps in its initial response to contain the virus.

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SpaceX is about to launch two astronauts into space in a historic first. NASA's Commercial Crew program, aimed at developing private spacecraft to transport American astronauts in to space, began under Barack Obama.

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Want to buy a used car? Rental car companies are offering up some good deals. All of the major car rental companies- Hertz, Enterprise, Alamo Avis, Budget and others- list their used rental cars for sale on their web sites. Shoppers can search inventories and test drives are usually much more generous than you'll find at typical used car dealers.

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Microsoft confirms new Windows 10 update warning The problem, once again, is KB4556799, a recent Windows 10 update pushed to millions of PCs which has already caused numerous issues, including Blue Screen of Death (BSOD) crashes, deleted user data, performance issues, broken audio and more. Microsoft is investigating these problems, but the company has now also confirmed on the official KB4556799 update page that it can break Internet connections as well.

 




Things are really rough out there.
Please consider donating to Feeding America
.


Categories: Andy Borowitz, Bobcat Goldwaith, CDC, Covid-19, Donald Trump, Glen Campbell, Health, Helena Bonham Carter, Jay Silverheels, John Wayne, Microsoft, Pam Grier, Peter Cushing, Rhinestone Cowboy, SpaceX, Squirrels, Stevie Nicks, Twitter, Video, Windows, YouTube


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Fortunately, it still works in the opposite direction
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Published Thursday, May 24, 2018 @ 7:56 AM EDT
May 24 2018

Donald Trump cannot block critical Twitter users, court rules

WASHINGTON- A federal judge in New York ruled Wednesday that President Trump may not block users from following his Twitter account because the social media platform is a "public forum" protected by the First Amendment.

A group of Twitter users sued the president in July after the @realDonaldTrump account blocked them from replying to his messages. The seven users had each tweeted a message critical of the president before they were blocked.

"Blocking of the individual plaintiffs as a result of the political views they have expressed is impermissible under the First Amendment," Judge Naomi Reice Buchwald wrote in the decision.

"While we must recognize, and are sensitive to, the president's personal First Amendment rights, he cannot exercise those rights in a way that infringes the corresponding First Amendment rights of those who have criticized him," she wrote.

The White House did not respond to a request for a comment. The Justice Department said in a statement it disagreed with the decision and is considering its next move.

Trump has more than 52 million followers on his @realDonaldTrump account, which has become the platform he uses most often to communicate to voters.

"The president's practice of blocking critics on Twitter is pernicious and unconstitutional, and we hope this ruling will bring it to an end," said Jameel Jaffer, executive director of the Knight First Amendment Institute, which filed the suit.

(via USA Today)

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Windows 10 has crashed on me- again- causing another painful bout of trying to reconstruct everything. Backups are useful, but it doesn't help that Microsoft has designed an operating system and applications with file structures that resist or even conceal themselves from recovery utilities. I'm almost the at the point of considering getting a new system; I've rebuilt this one from the oxide up three times so far. Perhaps four years is the limit for the reliable operation of consumer PCs. Whatever... in the immortal words of Paul Simon, "You know, I don't find this stuff amusing anymore."

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Due to the Memorial Day holiday, KGB Report on the web will return on Tuesday. Follow KGB Report and my personal account on Facebook for frequent updates.


Categories: Donald Trump, Microsoft, The Daily KGB Report, Twitter, Windows


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What, Me Worry?
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Published Wednesday, April 25, 2018 @ 9:07 AM EDT
Apr 25 2018

You already have zero privacy- get over it.
-Scott McNealy

I'm probably an outlier here, but I can't get too worked up over the Facebook/Cambridge Analytics data privacy business.

Perhaps it comes from 30+ years of working with computers, but when I log onto a social media site, I really don't expect much in the way of privacy. That's why I don't put anything on Facebook that I don't want people (or companies) to know.

I also realize that by visiting these social media sites, my personal data is going to be monetized by the site. Remember the saying: "If you're not paying for the product, you are the product." (Some disagree.)

Some people are creeped out by the ads they see, which often include stuff they've viewed on other sites. Doesn't bother me... in fact, it's useful. I often go to a site to buy something, get interrupted or distracted, and forget about it. The ad jogs my memory and saves me the time of having to manually go back to the site. Often, the ad will be from a different seller who has a lower price.

I guess it can be reduced to one's sense of self-importance. Frankly, I don't think there's much about me on social media that's so secret or valuable that it must be protected. On commerce sites, I use strong passwords and two-step verification. On Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter, I really don't care that much. To those who feel otherwise, I quote Fran Lebowitz: "Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try."

Anyway, the real threat isn't Facebook, it's our own government. In the days after 9/11, the government started scanning everything. Everything. The Post Office has a photo of every piece of first class mail it handles. The NSA sees just about everything that travels across the net. Even science fiction couldn't keep up with reality:

And let's be honest... if the government really has some reason to single you out of the 324 million people in the United States, they would have no problem -especially under the present administration- fabricating incriminating information or, for that matter, just making you disappear. Donald Trump frightens me. Mark Zuckerberg, not so much.

Here's what I find disturbing:

A Google search for "Kevin G. Barkes" returns about 14,600 hits. I've been online since the late 1980s so, if anything, I'm somewhat under-referenced. A bit more vexing is what appears when you do an image search of me (see above). In case you're wondering, the photos appear to come from this website, and include L. Ron Hubbard, me, Joseph P. Kennedy, Immanuel Kant, Gary Busey, me, Bill Moyers, Grace Lee Boggs, and Michael Eisner. Since text containing "Kevin G. Barkes" appears on every page of this site, Google apparently grabs everything and files it under my name.

Fortunately, I have not been misidentified as Gary Busey.

Yet.


Categories: Facebook, Fran Lebowitz, Linked In, NSA, Peggy Noonan, Person of Interest, PRISM, The Daily KGB Report, The Machine, Twitter


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Observations of the day: Shutdown/Debt Ceiling edition
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Published Tuesday, October 15, 2013 @ 11:59 AM EDT
Oct 15 2013

Social media on the shutdown:

Andy Borowitz (Facebook):

BREAKING: Most Hated People in U.S. Deciding Fate of World.

Let's put this shutdown behind us so the trials for treason can begin.

Michele Bachmann: "My Health Plan is Rapture."

As the Republicans go from Abraham Lincoln to Teddy Roosevelt to Ted Cruz, it's no wonder they don't believe in evolution.

Say what you will about America, it's a place where any child, if he's stupid enough, can grow up to wreck the world economy.

If we default on our debt Miley Cyrus will no longer be the most embarrassing thing about America.

Call me an optimist, but I believe our government will come up with a totally unsatisfactory solution to a completely unnecessary crisis.

The behavior of the Tea Party congressmen is the most glaring indictment of our nation's failure to teach math.

Congress has wasted two weeks on a totally unnecessary crisis of its own creation. It's a good thing our schools and roads are in great shape or I'd be mad.

There are people in Congress I would not trust to look after my plants.

WASHINGTON - After a poll showed 50% of Americans blame Republicans for the shutdown and 30% blame Obama, Rep. Michele Bachmann said, "That means we're winning by 20 percent."

Boehner: "The time has come to end this crisis so we can start planning the next one."

BREAKING: GOP Accuse Obama of Acting Like He Won Election

BREAKING: NRA Defends GOP's Right to Use Metaphorical Gun

Basically, the Republicans want a reward for calling in a bomb threat and then retracting it.

Just bought health insurance online. For some weird reason, the country was not destroyed. Anyone else have this problem?

It bothers me that our country may be pushed into default by people who cannot spell default.

Boehner: "We will continue this shutdown until we find out the reason for it."

WASHINGTON - In an escalation of the stalemate gripping the Capitol, House Republicans voted today to shut down the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that controls reasoning and impulses

The shutdown could last awhile since the Tea Party is demanding the President not be black anymore.

I wasn't happy about the country being controlled by the richest one percent, but I really hate it being controlled by the dumbest one percent

Boehner: "The President is stubbornly refusing to end this crisis I created."

WASHINGTON - House Republicans reassured the nation today that during the government shutdown they would continue to work hard to cut benefits for the poor and hungry.

A lot of people are asking when this kind of madness in Washington will end. I believe that can be arranged in 2014.

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-@LOLGOP (Twitter)

I'm impressed that no one has made the analogy between Ted Cruz and McMurphy in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

REMINDER: Michele Bachmann's favorite Founding Father is George Jefferson.

FYI: A nuclear bomb is about to blow up the world's economy and the House GOP will let it go off unless we give a tax break to a corporation.

Political party that pretends Donald Trump is a serious candidate for anything isn't a political party anymore, it's a cry for help.

House Republicans. Willing to destroy what's left of the global economy to avoid a primary challenge.

BREAKING: Ted Cruz and House Republicans meet in private to write open letter to Miley Cyrus, plot a global financial crisis.

Columbus discovered America the same way Republicans discovered the deficit when Obama became president.

Republicans waited to wage war on birth control until 50 years after it was invented. Next: Stop the miniskirt!

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-@pourmecoffee (Twitter)

Schoolhouse Rock is working on a new "How A Bill Becomes Law" but it's taking a while because not much rhymes with "hostage."

Boehner should just show up in a Hawaiian shirt chomping a cigar and say "whatever" to everything.

The real victim in this is legitimate Kabuki theater.

Maybe if the History Channel showed history instead of pawn shops and alligators less people would carry Confederate flags.

Hi, we're the most powerful nation in all of recorded history, may we please have our allowance?

Congress is going to wait until the very last minute and look up budget deals in Wikipedia.

Ted Cruz: Mr. Obama, tear down these barricades!**
(** Put up because of my 21-hour speech directly leading to this outcome.)

Don't tread on me, except getting me to donate money and vote against my own interests, you can tread on me that way.

I don't think Spock could handle mind-melding with John Boehner, even for a moment. The madness. The sorrow. It would break a mind.

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Sarah Reese Jones (Twitter)

John McCain warns Dems not to humiliate GOP as the VP he picked stands near Confederate Flag in front of WH accusing Obama of being Muslim.


Categories: Facebook, Observations, Twitter


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Top tweets
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Published Tuesday, August 06, 2013 @ 12:53 AM EDT
Aug 06 2013

People are worried about genetically modified foods, but everything will be fine. At least that's what my broccoli keeps saying.
-@Kelkulus

Confused about Pork Week. Is it Pork the verb or the noun?
-Joe Garden

Just had a terrible nightmare where I wasn't effectively leveraging my core competencies when applying best practices.
-Asterios Kokkinos

*Velociraptor jiggles bathroom door handle* "Someone's in here!" *jiggling stops*
-Matt Roller

Taylor Swift seems like one of those chicks who thinks it's cute to put her bare feet on the dashboard of a car when riding shotgun.
-Jenny Johnson

"Quinoa is an ancient grain." It sure tastes like it.
-Jim Gaffifan

How come nobody delivers donuts? Why is every donut place afraid of a million dollars?
-Andy Daly

I wish malls had Destroy-a-Bear stores.
-Alex Blagg

There should be a third gun in 2 Guns that audience members can kill themselves with.
-Jake Weisman

Google Geek Camp is a great way for your children to interact with grown men wearing eyeball cameras.
-Amanda Melson

OK. In hindsight, I probably had too many references to karma in that eulogy.
-Justin Shanes

Facebook is suddenly nothing more than an accounting of which of my friends and relatives will believe anything they read.
-Dave Holmes

Eating a turkey burger is like watching "Goodfellas" on basic cable.
-CJ Sullivan

I bet Andy Dufresne ended up married miserable and sick of Mexican food.
-Moshe Kasher

Older, unmarried man in a cape says he's okay with gays. Huh.
-Alex Baze

Still haven't seen "Pacific Rim" but did shake a bag of recycling, so kind of?
-Albertina Rizzo

Great place for humor: HappyPlaceTM.


Categories: Twitter


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Way too much Weiner, way too much time on their hands
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Published Wednesday, July 24, 2013 @ 12:51 AM EDT
Jul 24 2013

Used to be there were no second acts in American life. Now it's a theater without exits.
-Brent S. Sirota (@BrentSirota)

Slate reports that New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner admitted during a press conference that he is serial sexter "Carlos Danger," and that he sent sexually explicit chat messages and photos to additional women even after he resigned his seat in Congress under identical circumstances.

Slate has also helpfully provided The Carlos Danger Name Generator so you can quickly develop an online alter ego of your own.

Just call me Santiago Verboten.


Categories: Anthony Weiner, Brent S. Sirota, Carlos Danger, Politics, Quotes of the day, Slate, Twitter


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Shazam
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Published Thursday, July 18, 2013 @ 7:32 AM EDT
Jul 18 2013

Apparently, Captain Marvel has arrived in Pittsburgh. (Twitter photo by @timbetler. Taken from USX, July 16.)


Categories: Photo of the day, Twitter, Weather


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Tweets from on high or something like it
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Published Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 7:39 AM EDT
Jun 27 2013

If you're on Twitter and are not easily offended, consider following TheTweetofGod...

Anyone who thinks human life is sacred to Me has never read the Bible. That thing makes Tarantino look like Disney.

Life is a struggle not between good and evil, but between those who see it that way and those who don't.

Well I've lost faith in you, too.

From now on I'd like to be called P. Deity.

Paula Deen saying all that matters is "what's in your heart" is cardiologically hilarious.

Wow, I really enjoyed deciding who won that game.

The big difference between me and Kanye is I impregnated a virgin, whereas Kanye... well, did not.

Sometimes Jesus asks himself, "What would some self-righteous hypocrite do?"

You're welcome, Phil.

I could totally beat Superman in a fight.

"Despicable Me 2" was My original title for the New Testament.

I support marijuana. I created it for you. In fact the Garden of Eden was full of it. That was Eve's downfall. She got the munchies.

I find the vast majority of you profoundly unpleasant.

Lying makes Jesus cry. Stealing makes Jesus cry. Jaywalking makes Jesus cry. A real pussy, that kid.

There is a book with stories about incest, genocide, rape and crucifixion in almost every hotel room in the world.

I designed the sun to be 100% solar-powered. #green

My love for you is unconditional, provided you do and think exactly as I say.

Please stay safe, Oklahoma, because evidently I'm angry at you again for absolutely no reason.

The twist ending to M. Night Shyamalan's career is that it turns out it was dead the whole time.

When I work in mysterious ways it's called grace. When you work in mysterious ways it's called grounds for termination.

The first person to call you a jerk is probably just jealous, but the hundredth may be on to something.

Yes!!!
@TheTweetOfGod 723.9K followers
@RichardDawkins 723.6K followers
Believe in THAT, Dick!
It's no "delusion"!
I WIN I WIN I WIN!!!


Categories: Quotes on a topic, Twitter


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Signs of the Apocalypse, #909
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Published Wednesday, June 26, 2013 @ 4:28 AM EDT
Jun 26 2013

In case you missed it- which you probably did, since no broadcast or cable "news" organization carried it- a real-life episode of The West Wing took place in Austin, Texas yesterday and early this morning.

Texas Governor Rick Perry (R-No Kidding) had unexpectedly added to a special session of the state legislature a major anti-abortion bill that called for- among other misogynistic actions- closing all but five of the huge state's 42 clinics.

Texas state senator Wendy Davis responded with a 13-hour filibuster, a wondrous effort that simultaneously demonstrated the inherent virtue of American government and the hideous manner in which it can be distorted and abused.

When it appeared the Republicans had managed to silence her by citing a series of disingenuous "rules" violations, the legislature was stopped dead in its tracks when enraged citizens in the gallery howled, sang, and shouted the proceedings to a halt. It was sheer pandemonium. And a thing of beauty.

You can find the sordid details in assorted places- here, for one- but unless you were following on Twitter or a live stream on YouTube or some other site, you wouldn't have known the senate of one of the largest states in the union was violating its own constitution and doing so while hundreds of enraged citizens in the gallery screamed in protest.

For while the very principles of a sovereign constitutional republic were being mocked and circumvented by scheming, reprehensible ideologues, CNN- The Network For News, mind you- was airing this:


To quote my sainted grandfather, "I shit you not."
Pardon my French.

I didn't expect Fox News to carry anything, of course- and they didn't. But even liberal-tilted MSNBC was airing reruns of the evening's earlier commentary shows.

In the meantime, things got even more bizarre in Texas. Their constitution requires votes on bills to be completed before special sessions expire. The Texas senate's website originally noted the bill was passed on 6/26/2013, after the midnight deadline.

No problem. They just changed the date of the vote on the website back to 6/25/2013. Texas not only strictly controls female bodies, they also can warp the space-time continuum.

And the print media? With datelines up to an hour before the actual vote took place, USA Today and others reported the filibuster failed and the legislation passed.

Note I used the past tense. So did they.

The conspiracy-minded will probably claim the conservative-leaning owners of mainstream media outlets knew the outcome well in advance, and just got sloppy. I like to take the more optimistic view that journalists today are lazy, intellectually dishonest hacks whose irredeemable cynicism and proximity to power have reduced their usefulness to nil.

It may require more effort on my part for vetting and verification, but I think from now on my primary sources of information will be live feeds and social media.

Postscript- at 4:15 am, when the websites for CNN, Fox, NBC, CBS, ABC and Reuters were still saying the outcome of the vote was in doubt, a live stream available through Twitter- nearly an hour earlier- showed Senator Davis announcing that the lieutenant governor of Texas had reversed his previous ruling and declared the vote invalid. The AP story broke at 4:01 am.


Categories: News Media, Signs of the Apocalypse, Twitter


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Tweets of the day
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Published Saturday, June 22, 2013 @ 8:52 AM EDT
Jun 22 2013

Whether it's the border, guns or gays, Republicans always have the same fear: someone coming in the back door.
-Bill Maher

Thomas Jefferson could never get a Food Network show now.
-@LOLGOP

Home is anywhere you don't have to wear pants.
-@JohnFugelsang

Crayola needs to create a color called "Boehner".
@teenagesleuth/i>

Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% other people cheapening the meaning of the word "genius".
-@TheTweetOfGod

If you want to avoid full fury of the U.S., don't leak secrets to public. Play it safe and just wreck the economy to enrich yourself.
-@pourmecoffee

Days like today make me second-guess my decision to base my life on the moral teachings of Food Network stars.
-@pourmecoffee


Categories: Twitter


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Recommended Twit
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Published Sunday, May 05, 2013 @ 5:26 PM EDT
May 05 2013

If you're on Twitter, consider following Bill Murray (SNL, Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day, et al.) These are just a few from the past week...

Smart people: start having babies or the other side wins.

The only thing to fear is fear itself.
Also:
-Zombies.
-Velociraptors.
-Unwanted pregnancy.
-The Hamburglar.
-Spiders.
-Madonna's arms.

If video games are really the problem I think in the 80's we'd have heard a lot more stories of plumbers being assaulted with barrels.

Had to pause Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can't watch Breaking Bad.

I don't trip. I do random gravity checks.

It would be hilariously perfect if Jessica Biel would name her first child Batmo.

My favorite pick-up line is the one where I don't say anything to a girl and I just go home to watch Netflix, because Netflix won't hurt me.

I hate when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

I come from a long line of parents.

If you had to choose between your girlfriend and winning the lottery, what kind of car would you buy first?

Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.

fingers are so weird…… our arms just split into other smaller arms…... ok

I wonder if the girls on "16 and pregnant" will come back on "32 and a Grandma."

The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.

If I ever get Alzheimer's, I want someone to put a cape on me and tell me every morning that I used to be superman.

I wish more events in life involved dumping a cooler full of Gatorade on people...

Unless you’re Batman, I can’t see how anything clipped onto your belt will impress women.

Don't try to understand women... Women understand women and they hate each other.

Gay marriage is on legal in 6 states, yet having sex with a horse is legal in 23. Good going, America.

Hamsters are just tiny grizzly bears.

I bet snowmen think it's weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.

Some days you just have to fill the tub with skittles and pretend to be Godzilla in a ball pit

Probably the worst thing about being a penguin is after youre in an argument you'll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute.

I've always wanted to walk up to a stranger and hand him a briefcase and whisper "you know what to do" and walk away.

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday.


Categories: Bill Murray, Twitter


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Up to date
(permalink)

Published Monday, March 25, 2013 @ 10:15 PM EDT
Mar 25 2013


Categories: Religion, Twitter


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Quotes of the day
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Published Sunday, March 24, 2013 @ 12:26 AM EDT
Mar 24 2013

I view Jesus the way I view Elvis- I love the guy, but lots of the fan clubs scare me.
-@John Fugelsang


Categories: John Fugelsang, Quotes of the day, Twitter


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Popeapalooza!
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Published Thursday, March 14, 2013 @ 7:55 AM EDT
Mar 14 2013


I didn't even know he was Catholic. Oh, wait...

So, a 76 year old Pope with one lung. This will end well.
-Patrick Hyland ‏@uberfiend

You know who should totally be the final arbiter of sexual morality? A 76-year-old man who's never had an orgasm.
-God ‏@TheTweetOfGod

Google Reader died for your pope jokes.
-LOLGOP ‏@LOLGOP

Both Paul Ryan and Pope Francis have a commitment to the poor. But Ryan's commitment is to make more of them.
-LOLGOP ‏@LOLGOP

I think Elvis would have been a good Pope. He was popular and already had the wardrobe...
-John Hoskins ‏@BigJohnHoskins

If white smoke means they picked a new Pope, Uncle Rick's Bonneville has been picking Popes for years.
-Pittsburgh Dad ‏@Pittsburgh_Dad

"New Pope Called Gay Marriage 'Destructive Attack on God's Plan.'" Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.
-God ‏@TheTweetOfGod

Somewhere Lou Dobbs is screaming about this Latino who crossed a border to take someone else's Pope job.
-John Fugelsang ‏@JohnFugelsang

I guess I'll see you all guys in the Pope Jokes section of hell.
-LOLGOP ‏@LOLGOP

Now that we have a Pope, we get that hour of sleep back, right?
-LOLGOP ‏@LOLGOP

Pope being showed his new office. "This is your computer, Holy Father. Pick a password, don't make it Jesus. Everyone picks Jesus."
-pourmecoffee ‏@pourmecoffee

The new Pope came out on the balcony, saw his shadow, and realized there was six more centuries of scandals.
-Albert Brooks ‏@AlbertBrooks

Most awkward part of conclave is now when Cardinals check out and have to authorize in-room entertainment charges.
-pourmecoffee ‏@pourmecoffee

The Pope finished his speech. So refreshing he didn't thank his agent.
-Elayne Boosler ‏@ElayneBoosler

I’m not even Catholic, and I can solidly get behind a Pope Frank.
-Jacque Jo Bland ‏@jacquebland

I was led to understand that Jack Nicholson & Mrs. Obama would be announcing #newpope
-John Fugelsang ‏@JohnFugelsang

It looks like there's a new pope but they're still in line waiting to vote in Florida.
-Elayne Boosler


Categories: Facebook, Pope Francis, Religion, Twitter


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Tweets of note
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Published Friday, February 01, 2013 @ 12:03 AM EST
Feb 01 2013

There's probably some reason the tweets of greatest significance to me this week were from God and a fictional lesser mammal with a personality disorder, but don't ask me to explain. TMI, and all that.


Categories: Observations, Twitter


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I would have guessed octarine
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Published Thursday, January 24, 2013 @ 12:29 AM EST
Jan 24 2013


Categories: Religion, Terry Pratchett, Twitter


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Mysterious ways, indeed,,,
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Published Sunday, January 20, 2013 @ 5:54 AM EST
Jan 20 2013


Categories: Religion, Twitter, WTF?


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Tweet of the day
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Published Friday, December 14, 2012 @ 8:07 AM EST
Dec 14 2012


Categories: Elayne Boosler, Twitter


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Tweet of the day
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Published Saturday, December 01, 2012 @ 5:50 PM EST
Dec 01 2012

It's easy to blame others for your mistakes. Seriously. Try it.
-@TheTweetOfGod


Categories: Observations, Twitter


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Tweet of the day
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Published Wednesday, November 21, 2012 @ 3:08 AM EST
Nov 21 2012

@Paula_Deen: Years ago, I learned the secret to perfect stuffing from my Grandmother, I want to share it with you: http://t.co/FxlUF52l

(I think Paula's been into the sherry again...)


Categories: Paula Deen, Twitter, WTF?


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Whistling into oblivion...
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Published Sunday, October 28, 2012 @ 10:29 AM EDT
Oct 28 2012

Random stuff, as we await the arrival of Sandy Frankenstorm:

God is so busy making sure women get pregnant, I don't know where He finds time to make a hurricane.
-Andy Borowitz

Bill Maher: "You once called Mitt Romney the most intellectually dishonest man in politics. Do you still believe that?"
Barney Frank: "I would strike the word 'intellectually.' "
-(Real Time with Bill Maher, 10/26/12)

If you are having trouble multi-obsessing over both the hurricane and election I will be visiting my mom and will get some tips.
-@pourmecoffee

Bloom's Taxonomy defines educational objectives in terms of three core domains: knowing/head, feeling/heart and doing/hands. These categories are also useful in dating.
-The Covert Comic

How Not To Get A Picture Of Me.
Lesson 1: poke my girlfriend in the back at baggage claim and offer her money.
-Sir Patrick Stewart

There are few things more laughable than a political party that can't get its lie together.
-Robert Brault

If they just called it 'Survivor: Evil/Dumb/Hot/People.' people would start watching again.
-John Fugelsang

Good thing Zooey Deschanel just sang the anthem cuz it's not like Detroit has a rich and vibrant musical history to draw from or anything.
-Jay Satellite

Detroit gave us Motown, Aretha, Bettye LaVette. But none of them has a Fox TV show, so, hey, let's get Zooey Deschanel to sing the World Series anthem.
-Greg Kot

Romney promises Hurricane Sandy will not unfairly target rich people.
-Elayne Boosler

Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once and space is what keeps it all from happening to you.
-David Gerrold

BREAKING: Weather Forces Romney to Shift Lying to Other States
-Andy Borowitz


However, we had them in the past and will probably have them in the future, so if you have a time machine, no problem!


Categories: Andy Borowitz, Bill Maher, Covert Comic, John Fugelsang, Patrick Stewart, Photo of the day, Quotes of the day, Robert Brault, Twitter, Weather


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Quotes of the day
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Published Tuesday, September 25, 2012 @ 8:29 AM EDT
Sep 25 2012

via Twitter:

You know what would be funny? If the Olympic refs went on strike and someone from real estate had to judge diving.
-Albert Brooks @AlbertBrooks

If someone knows where Vince McMahon is, let him know the NFL could use a leader with integrity to protect their sport.
-Michael Naidus @michaelnaidus

So the NFL with replacement refs is now like a card game with Jokers included as wild cards- every ten plays or so it just makes no sense.
-Bill Maher @billmaher

Don't believe what the government doesn't tell you.
-"Agent Smith" @TSAgov

Romney says if Iran develops a nuclear weapon "I would respond with the strongest possible tax cuts."
-Andy Borowitz @BorowitzReport

People who didn't mind a POTUS reading "My Pet Goat" while the US was attacked are furious a POTUS would go on "The View."
-John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang

"Study Divides Breast Cancer Into Four Distinct Types." Insured, Uninsured, Good Luck and Romney Emergency Room Care.
-Elayne Boosler @ElayneBoosler

I'm not the type to "rise above". I'd rather meet face to face, no matter how low I must stoop.
-Ellen Barkin @EllenBarkin


Categories: Observations, Quotes of the day, Twitter


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Observations of the day
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Published Thursday, September 13, 2012 @ 7:13 AM EDT
Sep 13 2012

Andy Borowitz:

Romney is starting to make his trip to the London Olympics look like the pinnacle of modern diplomacy.

You would think Mitt Romney would be better at foreign policy given how much time his money has spent overseas.

When our embassy is attacked, we are attacked. Romney's Libya comments display the patriotism of someone who keeps his money in Switzerland.

As reprehensible as Romney's Libya comments are, it's comforting to know that he'll soon contradict them.

John Fugelsang:

The Aurora shooter was able to buy 6000 rounds of ammo on the internet and Tommy Chong went to prison for selling bongs.

I'll sign on for results-based pay for teachers the day Congress gets the same deal.

Mitt Romney has learned that "Entitlement Reform" sounds way better than "Have some more catfood, Nana."

I'd still like to know when "Wit" turned into "Snark."

Lynn Cullen:

What do you get when you take all of the vowels out of Reince Priebus' name? RNC PR BS!


Categories: Andy Borowitz, John Fugelsang, Lynn Cullen, Mitt Romney, Observations, Politics, Questions for the Ages, Second Amendment, Twitter


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