Quotes of the day: Robert Penn Warren
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Published Thursday, April 24, 2014 @ 4:11 AM EDT
Apr242014

Robert Penn Warren (April 24, 1905 - September 15, 1989) was an American poet, novelist, and literary critic and was one of the founders of New Criticism. He was also a charter member of the Fellowship of Southern Writers. He founded the influential literary journal The Southern Review with Cleanth Brooks in 1935. He received the 1947 Pulitzer Prize for his novel All the King's Men (1946) and the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry in 1958 and 1979. He is the only person to have won Pulitzer Prizes for both fiction and poetry. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)

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(Today is also the birthday of Anthony Trollope)

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A young man's ambition- to get along in the world and make a place for himself- half your life goes that way, till you're 45 or 50. Then, if you're lucky, you make terms with life, you get released.

And the testicles of the fathers hang down like old lace.

And what we students of history always learn is that the human being is a very complicated contraption and that they are not good or bad but are good and bad and the good comes out of the bad and the bad out of the good, and the devil take the hindmost.

But if anything is certain it is that no story is ever over, for the story which we think is over is only a chapter in a story which will not be over, and it isn't the game that is over, it is just an inning, and that game has a lot more than nine innings. When the game stops it will be called on account of darkness. But it is a long day.

Everything seems an echo of something else.

For either killing or creating may be a crime punishable by death, and the death always comes by the criminal's own hand and every man is suicide. If a man knew how to live he would never die.

For God and Nothing have a lot in common. You look either one of Them straight in the eye for a second and the immediate effect on the human constitution is the same.

For the truth is a terrible thing. You dabble your foot in it and it is nothing. But you walk a little farther and you feel it pull you like an undertow or a whirlpool. First there is the slow pull so steady and gradual you scarcely notice it, then the acceleration, then the dizzy whirl and plunge into darkness. For there is a blackness of truth, too. They say it is a terrible thing to fall into the Grace of God. I am prepared to believe that.

For whatever you live is life.

Goodness... You got to make it out of badness... Because there isn't anything else to make it out of.

Here is the shadow of truth, for only the shadow is true.

History is not melodrama, even if it usually reads like that. It was real blood, not tomato catsup or the pale ectoplasm of statistics, that wet the ground at Bloody Angle and darkened the waters of Bloody Pond.

If you could not accept the past and its burden there was no future, for without one there cannot be the other.

In separateness only does love learn definition.

It is a human defect- to try to know one's self by the self of another.

Man is conceived in sin and born in corruption and he passeth from the stink of the didie to the stench of the shroud. There is always something.

Maybe a man has to sell his soul to get the power to do good.

Poets, we know, are terribly sensitive people, and in my observation one of the things they are most sensitive about is money.

Politics is a matter of choices, and a man doesn't set up the choices himself. And there is always a price to make a choice. You know that. You've made a choice, and you know how much it cost you. There is always a price.

She lifted her sewing and bit off the thread in the way women do to make your flesh crawl.

Sometimes sleep gets to be a serious and complete thing. You stop going to sleep in order that you may be able to get up, but get up in order that you may be able to go back to sleep.

Storytelling and copulation are the two chief forms of amusement in the South. They're inexpensive and easy to procure.

The best luck always happens to people who don't need it.

The end of man is knowledge but there's one thing he can't know. He can't know whether knowledge will save him or kill him. He will be killed, all right, but he can't know whether he is killed because of the knowledge which he has got or because of the knowledge which he hasn't got and which if he had it would save him.

The lack of a sense of history is the damnation of the modern world.

The past is always a rebuke to the present.

There is nothing more alone than being in a car at night in the rain.

They say you are not you except in terms of relation to other people. If there weren't any other people there wouldn't be any you because what you do, which is what you are, only has meaning in relation to other people.

When you get born your father and mother lost something out of themselves, and they are going to bust a ham trying to get it back, and you are it. They know they can't get it all back but they will get as big a chunk out of you as they can.


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Exchange of the day
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Published Wednesday, April 23, 2014 @ 9:59 AM EDT
Apr232014

Conservative pundit and author George Will was plugging his new book about Wrigley Field on The Colbert Report last night, and jokingly made the claim that the Chicago Cubs won the Cold War.

George Will: In 1919, William Wrigley bought Catalina Island off Southern California. In 1921 the Cubs began to do spring training there. In 1937 a Des Moines, Iowa radio broadcaster named Dutch Reagan decided he would go out and cover spring training for his radio station. He took a movie test with Warner Brothers, became an actor, became President of the United States, and won the Cold War... therefore, the Cubs get credit for winning the Cold War.

Stephen Colbert: By that same logic, did not the Chicago Cubs also sell arms to Iran?


Categories: Colbert Report; Exchange of the day; George F. Will; Politics; Sports; Stephen Colbert


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Quotes of the day: J.P. Donleavy
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Published Wednesday, April 23, 2014 @ 1:36 AM EDT
Apr232014

James Patrick Donleavy (born April 23, 1926) is an Irish American novelist, playwright and author whose work includes The Ginger Man and A Fairy Tale of New York. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)

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(Today is also the birthday of William Shakespeare.)

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And money is one of the motives for becoming a writer. The others are leisure and money, women and money, and sometimes just money all alone by itself.

Electronic books are a bad thing because they cannot be accumulated on shelves to remind you of your past, to impress your neighbors and colleagues, and to help prevent divorces thanks to the sheer bother of arguing over who owns what.

Every madman thinks everyone else mad.

Five years ago I had a plan to straighten myself out. Here I am thousands of dollars later with one more insight. That you grow older faster staying in the same place.

How when one is able to indulge the luxury of beginning one's life again. All one thinks to do Is end it.

I got disappointed in human nature as well and gave it up because I found it too much like my own.

I've always been prepared to stand up and fight for my beliefs. I'm prepared to die for them. Of course, the risk always is that someone will come along and kill you.

If you're going to love somebody, love somebody who needs it.

It's not nice (growing old) but take comfort that you won't stay that way forever.

My dear, if you really have to, only clean, very clean rest rooms will do.

Never underestimate your adversary, not even in a snowball fight.

Revenge is what I want. Nothing but pure unadulterated revenge. But my mother brought me up to be a lady.

Rid the mind of knowledge when looking for pleasure. Or start thinking and find a lot of pain.

See all the women seated, youth in their face lifts, old age in their hands.

Take deeds away. Play music please.

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty.

When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin.

When I'm dead, I hope it may be said: his sins were scarlet, but his books were read.

When you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it's sex. When you have both, it's health. If everything is simply jake, then you're frightened of death.

Whenever anyone says, 'theoretically,' they really mean 'not really'.

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

You know, there must be happiness somewhere, when a lawyer dies.


Categories: J.P. Donleavy; Quotes of the day


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Quotes of the day: Jack Nicholson
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Published Tuesday, April 22, 2014 @ 1:00 AM EDT
Apr222014

John Joseph "Jack" Nicholson (b. April 22, 1937) is an American actor, film director, producer, and writer. Nicholson's 12 Oscar nominations make him the most nominated male actor in the history of the Academy Awards. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)

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A girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don't love.

A lot of people can't remember things because they weren't actually there to begin with- they don't take it all in.

A lot of times, you gotta be there even if you don't wanna be.

A man needs a private life. With no ability to have a private life, one thing leads to another, and before you know it we have Bill and Monica. We need to get real about things. Humans are humans. Why should we expect more?

All these millions of simple household behaviors make for a better life. We can't live in constant rebellion against our parents- it's just silly.

Almost everybody's happy to be a fool for love.

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.

Children give your life a resonance that it can't have without them.

Do unto others: How much deeper into religion do we really need to go?

I always tell young men there are three rules (re:women): They hate us, we hate them; they're stronger, they're smarter; and most important: they don't play fair.

I am a person who is trained to look other people in the eye. But I can't look into the eyes of everyone who wants to look into mine; I can't emotionally cope with that kind of volume. Sunglasses are part of my armor.

I don't know if this is a true statistic, but I heard somewhere that there are three times as many single women over forty as single men. That's what we got from the women's movement. The chickens have come home to roost.

I hate advice unless I'm giving it. I hate giving advice, because people won't take it.

I just want to do something good before I die.

I learned a long time ago in Hollywood that the only person I should vote for is myself.

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.

I resist all established beliefs. My religion basically is to be immediate, to live in the now. It's an old cliché, I know, but it's mine.

I think the Greeks invented sports as an antidote to philosophy. In sports there are absolute rules. It's not, What about this? What about that? Either you're safe or you're out. It's ten yards or it's not. It's in the hoop or out of the hoop. It's certain

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away.

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time.

If men are honest, everything they do and everywhere they go is for a chance to see women.

If you think you're attractive, you're always attractive.

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right.

It's very easy to go down, so always live up. Incline yourself upward.

Liberalism is the right to question without being called a heretic. That's what America did for the world.

Men dominate because of physicality, and thus they have mercy where women do not.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch.

Never rub another man's rhubarb.

Once you've been really bad in a movie, there's a certain kind of fearlessness you develop.

Our generation are the new old. I remember what someone of 60 looked like when I was a kid. They didn't look like me.

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.

The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.

There's a tacit agreement in the nation today that the white male is the only legitimate target for any and all satire, criticism, and so forth. And we pretty much just accept it.

There's so much darn porn out there, I never got out of the house. (re: why he avoids the Internet)

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money.

When I turned 70 it was the first time I felt young for my age. Fifty dropped on me like a ton of bricks- there is something about that number- but when 70 came along I felt good about it.

When it's over for a woman, it's over. You're not getting an appeal.

Why can't somebody use modern intelligence and relate it to traffic?

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and old.

You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police. Everybody else you tell the truth to.


Categories: Jack Nicholson; Quotes of the day


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First Easter
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Published Monday, April 21, 2014 @ 4:24 PM EDT
Apr212014


Granddaughter Joelle nailed it.


Categories: Holidays; KGB Family


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Quotes of the day: Rollo May
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Published Monday, April 21, 2014 @ 3:46 AM EDT
Apr212014

Rollo Reece May (April 21, 1909 - October 22, 1994) was an American existential psychologist. He was the author of the influential book Love and Will, and is often associated with both humanistic psychology and existentialist philosophy. He was a major proponent of "existential psychotherapy," which seeks to analyze the structure of human existence with the aim of understanding the reality underlying all situations of humans in crises. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)

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A person can meet anxiety to the extent that his values are stronger than the threat.

Art is a substitute for violence.

Artists are generally soft-spoken persons who are concerned with their inner visions and images. But that is precisely what makes them feared by any coercive society.

Courage is not a virtue of value among other personal values like love or fidelity. It is the foundation that underlies and gives reality to all other virtues and personal values.

Depression is the inability to construct a future.

Every human being must have a point at which he stands against the culture, where he says, 'This is me and the world be damned!'

Hate is not the opposite of love; apathy is.

However it may be confounded or covered up or counterfeited, this elemental capacity to fight against injustice remains the distinguishing characteristic of human beings.

Human freedom involves our capacity to pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight.

If we wish the death of our enemies, we cannot talk about the community of man. In the losing of the chance for dialogue with our enemies, we are the poorer.

If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.

It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way.

Joy, rather than happiness, is the goal of life, for joy is the emotion which accompanies our fulfilling our natures as human beings.

Life comes from physical survival; but the good life comes from what we care about.

Many people feel they are powerless to do anything effective with their lives. It takes courage to break out of the settled mold, but most find conformity more comfortable. This is why the opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it's conformity.

Memory is not just the imprint of the past time upon us; it is the keeper of what is meaningful for our deepest hopes and fears.

Now it is no longer a matter of deciding what to do, but of deciding how to decide.

o love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive- to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before.

Our passion for form expresses our yearning to make the world adequate to our needs and desires, and, more important, to experience ourselves as having significance.

Physical courage in whatever scene... seems to hinge on whether the individual can feel he is fighting for others as well as himself.

Reason works better when emotions are present; the person sees sharper and more accurately when his emotions are engaged.

The acorn becomes an oak by means of automatic growth; no commitment is necessary.

The constructive schizoid person stands against the spiritual emptiness of encroaching technology and does not let himself be emptied by it. He lives and works with the machine without becoming a machine.

The past has meaning as it lights up the present, and the future as it makes the present richer and more profound.

The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt but in spite of doubt.

There is no meaningful 'yes' unless the individual could also have said 'no.'

There is nobody who totally lacks the courage to change.

Vanity and narcissism- the compulsive need to be admired and praised- undermine one's courage, for one then fights on someone else's conviction rather than one's own.

When people feel their insignificance as individual persons, they also suffer an undermining of their sense of human responsibility.

You can live without a father who accepts you, but you cannot live without a world that makes some sense to you.


Categories: Quotes of the day; Rollo May


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Cleaning off the desktop
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Published Sunday, April 20, 2014 @ 12:20 PM EDT
Apr202014


Upon reflection, is was kind of obvious Lex Luthor was in the bunny suit.

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This year's Easter Sunday happens to fall on the same day as the marijuana holiday, 4/20. Which means no matter what your religion, this Sunday you're probably going to see a giant bunny.
–Conan O'Brien

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You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
-@BillMurray

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I judge how safe an area is by the number of lit letters on the Waffle House sign.
-@ChevyChase

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Note to self: Telling your Facebook friends that their auras are actually invisible because they don't exist makes them not like you.
-@hemantmehta

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An example of Facebook's state-of-the-art subject matching software.

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50 years ago, America's biggest employer was General Motors, where workers made the modern equivalent of $50 dollars an hour. Today, America's biggest employer is Walmart, where the average wage is $8 dollars an hour...And Walmart released their annual report this month, and in it was the fact that most of what Walmart sells is food. And most of their customers need food stamps to pay for it. Meanwhile, Walmart's owners are so absurdly rich that one of them, Alice Walton, spent over a billion dollars building an art museum in Bentonville, Arkansas, 500 miles away from the nearest person who ever would want to look at art. And she said about it, 'For years I've been thinking about what we can do as a family that can really make a difference.' How about giving your employees a raise, you deluded nitwit?
–Bill Maher

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I can never tell if CNN is engaging in self parody or if they're just dumb.

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Last month, over 200,000 jobs were created in the United States. And that doesn't count this one.
–David Letterman

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People should announce they'll be a grandma the old-fashioned way-- by leaking that their teen daughter is pregnant the night before the RNC.
-LOLGOP

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Plot idea: 97% of the world's scientists contrive an environmental crisis, but are exposed by a plucky band of billionaires & oil companies.
-@ScottWesterfield

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70% of our planet is covered in water, the other 30% is covered in idiots.
-@BillMurray

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And... the desktop is clean.
-KGB


Categories: Cleaning off the desktop; Miscellany


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70 observations about Heaven
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Published Sunday, April 20, 2014 @ 12:04 AM EDT
Apr202014


(by Charles Barsotti in the New Yorker)

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
-H.L. Mencken

At an early age I decided that living a life of pious misery in the hope of going to heaven when it's over is a lot like keeping your eyes shut all through a movie in the hope of getting your money back at the end.
-A. Whitney Brown

Better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven.
-John Milton

By means of shrewd lies, unremittingly repeated, it is possible to make people believe that heaven is hell- and hell heaven. The greater the lie, the more readily it will be believed.
-Adolf Hitler

Clergyman: a ticket speculator outside the gates of heaven.
-H.L. Mencken

Do not ask God the way to heaven; he will show you the hardest way.
-Stanislaw J. Lec

Either heaven or hell will have continuous background music. Which one you think it will be tells a lot about you.
-Bill Vaughan

Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven.
-P.J. O'Rourke

Every man is as Heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse.
-Miguel de Cervantes

Every politician we have, liberal or conservative, who gets caught drinking or chasing women is thrown out of office. It's backwards. It's more dangerous to have a clean-living President with his finger on the button. He thinks he's going right to heaven. You want to feel safe with a leader? Give me a guy who fights in bars and cheats on his wife. This is a man who wants to put off Judgment Day as long as possible.
-Larry Miller

God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
-Rev. Billy Graham

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
-Helen Gurley Brown

Heaven and hell suppose two distinct species of men, the good and the bad. But the greatest part of mankind float betwixt vice and virtue.
-David Hume

Heaven for climate, hell for society.
-Mark Twain

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
-Mark Twain

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
-William Congreve

Heaven have mercy on us all- Presbyterians and Pagans alike- for we are all somehow dreadfully cracked about the head, and sadly need mending.
-Herman Melville

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now.
-Edward Abbey

Heaven is like Scotland without the midges... and the Scots, of course.
-From Old Harry's Game, BBC Radio

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.
-Henry David Thoreau

Heaven lies about us in our infancy! Shades of the prison-house begin to close upon the growing boy.
-William Wordsworth

Heaven wheels above you, displaying to you her eternal glories, and still your eyes are on the ground.
-Dante Alighieri

Heaven-A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own.
-Ambrose Bierce

Hell is in Heaven and Heaven is in Hell. But angels see only the light, and devils only the darkness.
-Jacob Boehme

How you behave toward cats here below determines your status in Heaven.
-Robert A. Heinlein

How you gonna go to heaven unless you've danced in hell? I mean how are you gonna know it? How you gonna feel good unless you feel bad?
-Charles Manson

I desire to go to Hell, not to Heaven. In Hell I shall enjoy the company of popes, kings and princes, but in Heaven are only beggars, monks, hermits and apostles.
-Niccolò Machiavelli

I do not see in religion the mystery of the incarnation so much as the mystery of the social order. It introduces into the thought of heaven an idea of equalization, which saves the rich from being massacred by the poor.
-Napoleon Bonaparte

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell- you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain

I find that the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving: To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it- but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

I have faith in the universe, for it is rational. Law underlies each happening. And I have faith in my purpose here on earth. I have faith in my intuition, the language of my conscience, but I have no faith in speculation about Heaven and Hell. I'm concerned with this time- here and now.
-Albert Einstein

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-James Thurber

If there are no dogs in heaven, when I die I want to go where they go.
-Will Rogers

In Heaven an angel is nobody in particular.
-George Bernard Shaw

It is quite useless knocking at the door of heaven for earthly comfort; it's not the sort of comfort they supply there.
-C.S. Lewis

It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this. Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in; aim at earth and you will get neither.
-C.S. Lewis

Life moves very fast. It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.
-Paulo Coelho

Men, at most, differ as heaven and earth; But women, worst and best, as heaven and hell.
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

No one wants to die. Even people who wanna go to heaven don't wanna die to get there.
-Steve Jobs

Of all the inventions of man I doubt whether any was more easily accomplished than that of a Heaven.
-G.C. Lichtenberg

On earth there is no heaven, but there are pieces of it.
-Jules Renard

Order is heaven's first law.
-Alexander Pope

People with too much heaven in them are hell to live with.
-Tony Larsen

Posterity! you will never know how much it cost the present generation to preserve your freedom! I hope you will make a good use of it. If you do not, I shall repent in Heaven that I ever took half the pains to preserve it.
-John Adams

Retire when the work is done. This is the way of heaven.
-Tao Te Ching

Silently one by one, in the infinite meadows of heaven
Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of the angels.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

So trust is not a matter of probabilities. Statistics can't handle a sample of one. Trust is an act of faith. Trust is the gateway to either heaven or hell-and the gate is unmarked. Damn few have gone through.
-Donald Kingsbury

Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing that they themselves were dead and in Heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in Hell.
-H.L. Mencken

Surely happiness is reflective, like the light of heaven; and every countenance bright with smiles, and glowing with innocent enjoyment, is a mirror transmitting to others the rays of a supreme and ever-shining benevolence.
-Washington Irving

That a marriage ends is less than ideal; but all things end under heaven, and if temporality is held to be invalidating, then nothing real succeeds.
-John Updike

The bottom line is in heaven.
-Edwin H. Land

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's.
-Mark Twain

The human mind is inspired enough when it comes to inventing horrors; it is when it tries to invent a Heaven that it shows itself cloddish.
-Evelyn Waugh

The intellect of the wise is like glass; it admits the light of heaven and reflects it.
-Augustus William Hare

The intention of the Holy Ghost is to teach us how one goes to Heaven, not how Heaven goes.
-Cesare Baronio

The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven.
-John Milton

The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.
-Daniel Waters (from the film Heathers)

The outside world doesn't have a lot to offer. You have to make your own heaven in your own home.
-Bette Midler

The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
-Mark Twain

The two universal languages on earth are music and silence. They are also the two primary languages of heaven.
-Peter Kreeft

There are depths in man that go to the lowest hell, and heights that reach the highest heaven, for are not both heaven and hell made out of him, everlasting miracle and mystery that he is.
-Thomas Carlyle

To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

To scale great heights, we must come out of the lowest depths. The way to heaven is through hell.
-Herman Melville

Until an hour before the Devil fell, God thought him beautiful in Heaven.
-Arthur Miller

We are satisfied that there can be but little liberty on earth while men worship a tyrant in heaven.
-Robert G. Ingersoll

We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment.
-George Eliot

What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.
-Mark Twain

When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don't see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.
-Joseph Heller

You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven.
-Jimi Hendrix

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
-Robert Louis Stevenson


Categories: Heaven; Quotes on a topic


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70 observations about Hell
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Published Saturday, April 19, 2014 @ 5:19 AM EDT
Apr192014

A lapsed Catholic is someone who no longer believes in Hell but knows he's still going there.
-Sean Kelly

A man, well, he'll walk right into Hell with both eyes open- but even the Devil can't fool a dog.
-Earl Hammer, Jr.

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
-George Bernard Shaw

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.
-Ricky Gervais

An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.
-Victor Hugo

Better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven.
-John Milton

By means of shrewd lies, unremittingly repeated, it is possible to make people believe that heaven is hell- and hell heaven. The greater the lie, the more readily it will be believed.
-Adolf Hitler

Capitalism without bankruptcy is like Christianity without hell.
-Frank Borman

Communists worship the Devil himself. Socialists believe damnation is a good system run by bad people. And liberals want to send everyone to hell because it's warm there in the winter.
-P.J. O'Rourke

Don't tell a man to go to Hell unless you can send him there.
-Lyndon B. Johnson

Easy is the slope to hell.
-Virgil

Either heaven or hell will have continuous background music. Which one you think it will be tells a lot about you.
-Bill Vaughan

Everybody's Hell is different; its not all fire and pain. The real Hell is your life gone wrong.
-Richard Matheson

For each time you say the phrases 'touch base,' 'networking,' or 'bottom line,' you will spend one month in hell.
-Unattributed

He who has money can eat sherbet in hell.
-Lebanese proverb

Heaven and hell suppose two distinct species of men, the good and the bad. But the greatest part of mankind float betwixt vice and virtue.
-David Hume

Heaven for climate, hell for society.
-Mark Twain

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
-William Congreve

Hell has no terrors for pagans.
-Arthur Rimbaud

Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-Milton Friedman

Hell hath no fury like a hustler with a literary agent.
-Frank Sinatra

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
-Dick Gregory

Hell hath no fury like a woman. Why add extraneous details?
-John Alejandro King (The Covert Comic)

Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
-Unattributed

Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-Robert Frost

Hell is full of good meanings and wishings.
-George Herbert

Hell is in Heaven and Heaven is in Hell. But angels see only the light, and devils only the darkness.
-Jacob Boehme

Hell is other people.
-Jean-Paul Sartre

Hell is other people. And those people are French.
-Neal Pollack

How could I have died and gone to hell without noticing the transition?
-Lois McMaster Bujold

I am an Agnostic because I am not afraid to think. I am not afraid of any god in the universe who would send me or any other man or woman to hell. If there were such a being, he would not be a god; he would be a devil.
-Clarence Darrow

I desire to go to Hell, not to Heaven. In Hell I shall enjoy the company of popes, kings and princes, but in Heaven are only beggars, monks, hermits and apostles.
-Niccolò Machiavelli

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell- you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain

I feel that if there were an afterlife, punishment for evil would be reasonable and of a fixed term. And I feel that the longest and worst punishment should be reserved for those who slandered God by inventing Hell.
-Isaac Asimov

I have faith in the universe, for it is rational. Law underlies each happening. And I have faith in my purpose here on earth. I have faith in my intuition, the language of my conscience, but I have no faith in speculation about Heaven and Hell. I'm concerned with this time- here and now.
-Albert Einstein

I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way.
-Robert Frost

If I owned Hell and Texas, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell.
-Phillip Henry Sheridan

If there is a hell, it is modeled after junior high.
-Lewis Black

If there is no hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretenses.
-Billy Sunday

If you want to study the social and political history of modern nations, study hell.
-Thomas Merton

If you're going through hell, keep going.
-Winston Churchill

In southern Nevada, there's only a screen door between you and hell.
-Unattributed

Life moves very fast. It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.
-Paulo Coelho

Maybe there is no actual place called Hell. Maybe Hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
-Jim Carrey

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
-Aldous Huxley

My principal objections to orthodox religion are two- slavery here and hell hereafter.
-Robert G. Ingersoll

New York has always been going to hell but somehow it never gets there.
-Robert Pirsig

Religion is for those who believe in Hell. Spirituality is for those who have been there.
-Unattributed

Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing that they themselves were dead and in Heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in Hell.
-H.L. Mencken

The idea of hell was born of ignorance, brutality, fear, cowardice, and revenge.
-Robert G. Ingersoll

The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven.
-John Milton

The pride of dying rich raises the loudest laugh in hell.
-John Foster

The way to Hell is paved with good intentions.
-Karl Marx

There's a truism that the road to Hell is often paved with good intentions. The corollary is that evil is best known not by its motives but by its methods.
-Eric S. Raymond

The road to Hell is paved with good Samaritans.
-Robert Herrick

The road to Hell is paved with works in progress.
-Philip Roth

The safest road to Hell is the gradual one- the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.
-C.S. Lewis

There are depths in man that go to the lowest hell, and heights that reach the highest heaven, for are not both heaven and hell made out of him, everlasting miracle and mystery that he is.
-Thomas Carlyle

There is no hell. There is only France.
-Frank Zappa

To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.
-Thomas Merton

To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

To scale great heights, we must come out of the lowest depths. The way to heaven is through hell.
-Herman Melville

Twenty times in the course of my late reading have I been upon the point of breaking out, 'This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it!' But in this exclamation I would have been as fanatical as Bryant or Cleverly. Without religion this world would be something not fit to be mentioned in polite company, I mean Hell.
-John Adams

We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.
-Oscar Wilde

What fresh hell can this be?
-Dorothy Parker

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
-Adam Ferrara

What was God doing before the divine creation? Was he preparing hell for people who asked such questions?
-Stephen Hawking

When we preach on hell, we might at least do it with tears in our eyes.
-Dwight L. Moody

Whoever is in control of the hell in your life, is your devil.
-John Henrik Clarke

You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway.
-Ricky Gervais


Categories: Hell; Quotes on a topic


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Quotes of the day: Gabriel Garcia Márquez
(permalink)

Published Friday, April 18, 2014 @ 1:38 AM EDT
Apr182014

Gabriel José de la Concordia García Márquez (March 6, 1927 – April 17, 2014) was a Colombian novelist, short-story writer, screenwriter and journalist, known affectionately as Gabo throughout Latin America. Considered one of the most significant authors of the 20th century, he was awarded the 1972 Neustadt International Prize for Literature and the 1982 Nobel Prize in Literature. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)

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A lie is more comfortable than doubt, more useful than love, more lasting than truth.

A person doesn't die when he should but when he can.

All human beings have three lives: public, private, and secret.

All I need in life is someone who understands me.

An early-rising man is a good spouse but a bad husband.

Because for you, quitting smoking would be like killing someone you love.

Before adolescence, memory is more interested in the future than the past...

Children's lies are signs of great talent.

Fiction was invented the day Jonah arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale.

He who awaits much can expect little.

I believe without any doubt at all that our greatest good fortune was that even in the most extreme difficulties we might lose our patience but never our sense of humor.

I can't think of any one film that improved on a good novel, but I can think of many good films that came from very bad novels.

I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of Him.

I would like for my books to have been recognized posthumously, at least in capitalist countries, where they turn you into a kind of merchandise.

It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.

Life is not what one lived, but what one remembers and how one remembers it in order to recount it.

Necessity has the face of a dog.

No medicine cures what happiness cannot.

No, not rich. I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing.

Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.

Nostalgia, as always, had wiped away bad memories and magnified the good ones.

One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship.

The secret of a good old age is simply an honorable pact with solitude.

Ultimately, literature is nothing but carpentry.

Until I discovered the miracle that all things that sound are music, including dishes and silverware in the dishwasher, as long as they fulfill the illusion of showing us where life is heading.

What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.


Categories: Gabriel Garcia Márquez; Quotes of the day


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Quotes of the day: Conan O'Brien
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Published Friday, April 18, 2014 @ 12:03 AM EDT
Apr182014

Conan Christopher O'Brien (born April 18, 1963) is an American television host, comedian, writer, producer, musician, and voice actor. He is best known for hosting several late-night talk shows, the most recent of which, Conan, premiered on American cable television station TBS in 2010. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)

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Americans now read Facebook more than the Bible. I guess nobody wants to read about a guy who could only come up with 12 friends.

At Microsoft a minority employee is one who has a girlfriend.

Auld Lang Syne is actually Scottish for 'God, this haggis sucks.'

Fish recognize a bad leader.

I miss Harvard Square. Nowhere (else) in the world will you find a man in a turban wearing a Red Sox jacket working in a lesbian bookstore.

I'll say I'm happy doing my thing. No one says 'no comment' anymore.

I've dreamed of being a talk show host on basic cable ever since I was 46.

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.

It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy.

Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.

Queen Elizabeth is in financial trouble. How do you go broke when your face is on the money?

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

Terrible climate, centuries of oppression, and the gene for alcoholism. Or as I call it, 'The luck of the Irish.'

The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'

There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.

There's good random, and there's bad random. There's good silly and there's bad silly, and you've gotta know the difference.

When all else fails there's always delusion.

When someone calls me pretentious, the white gloves come off.

Why can't they make meth with fluoride?


Categories: Conan O'Brien; Quotes of the day


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Quotes of the day: Isak Dinesen
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Published Thursday, April 17, 2014 @ 1:32 AM EDT
Apr172014

Karen von Blixen-Finecke (April 17, 1885 - September 7, 1962), née Karen Christenze Dinesen, was a Danish author also known by her pen name Isak Dinesen. Blixen is best known for Out of Africa, her account of living in Kenya, and Babette's Feast, both adapted into Academy Award-winning motion pictures. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)

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The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.

A great artist is never poor.

I think these difficult times have helped me to realize how infinitely rich and beautiful life is. And that so many things one worries about are of no importance whatsoever.

What is man, when you come to think upon him, but a minutely set, ingenious machine for turning, with infinite artfulness, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?

Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road.

All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them.

The entire being of a woman is a secret which should be kept.

Love, with very young people, is a heartless business. We drink at that age from thirst, or to get drunk; it is only later in life that we occupy ourselves with the individuality of our wine.

Who tells a finer tale than any of us. Silence does.

Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.

When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself.

I think it will be truly glorious when women become real people and have the whole world open to them.

I don't believe in evil, I believe only in horror. In nature there is no evil, only an abundance of horror: the plagues and the blights and the ants and the maggots.

Man reaches the highest point of lovableness at 12 to 17- to get it back, in a second flowering, at the age of 70 to 90.

Real art must always involve some witchcraft.

The best of my nature reveals itself in play, and play is sacred.

Of all the idiots I have met in my life, and the Lord knows that they have not been few or little, I think that I have been the biggest.

I have been told that lions, trapped and shut up in cages, grieve from shame more than from hunger.

People who dream when they sleep at night know of a special kind of happiness which the world of the day holds not.

Tragedy should remain the right of human beings, subject, in their conditions or in their own nature, to the dire law of necessity. To them it is salvation and beatification.

Human talk is a centrifugal function, ever in flight outwards from what is on the talker's mind.

Man and woman are two locked caskets, of which each contains the key to the other.

It never has happened, and it never will happen, and that is why it is told.


Categories: Isak Dinesen; Quotes of the day


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Quotes of the day: Charlie Chaplin
(permalink)

Published Wednesday, April 16, 2014 @ 4:17 AM EDT
Apr162014

Sir Charles Spencer "Charlie" Chaplin, KBE (April 16, 1889 – December 25, 1977) was an English comic actor, filmmaker, and composer who rose to fame in the silent era. Chaplin became a worldwide icon through his screen persona "the Tramp" and is considered one of the most important figures in the history of the film industry. His career spanned more than 75 years, from childhood in the Victorian era until a year before his death at age 88, and encompassed both adulation and controversy. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)

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I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an Emperor- that's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone, if possible- Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another; human beings are like that.

We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there's room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful.

But we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me I say, "Do not despair." The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass and dictators die; and the power they took from the people will return to the people and so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers: Don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel; who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate; only the unloved hate, the unloved and the unnatural.

Soldiers: Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written, "the kingdom of God is within man"- not one man, nor a group of men, but in all men, in you, you the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power! Let us all unite! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie! They do not fulfill their promise; they never will. Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people! Now, let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.

Soldiers: In the name of democracy, let us all unite!


Categories: Charlie Chaplin; Quotes of the day


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90 quotes about taxes
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Published Tuesday, April 15, 2014 @ 5:37 AM EDT
Apr152014

A democratic government is the only one in which those who vote for a tax can escape the obligation to pay it.
-Alexis de Tocqueville

A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
-Fran Lebowitz

A fine is a tax for doing wrong; a tax is a fine for doing well.
-Unattributed

A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it.
-Ann Landers

A society which turns so many of its best and brightest into tax lawyers may be doing something wrong.
-Hoffman F. Fuller

A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness.
-George W. Bush

A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.
-Russell B. Long

An unlimited power to tax involves, necessarily, the power to destroy.
-Daniel Webster

And above all, above all, honest work must be rewarded by a fair and just tax system. The tax system today does not reward hard work: it penalizes it. Inherited or invested wealth frequently multiplies itself while paying no taxes at all. But wages on the assembly line or in farming the land, these hard-earned dollars are taxed to the very last penny.
-George McGovern

Anybody has a right to evade taxes if he can get away with it. No citizen has a moral obligation to assist in maintaining the government.
-J.P. Morgan

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
-Oscar Wilde

Behind every man who achieves success,
Stands a mother, a wife and the IRS.
-Ethel Jacobson

Being audited by the IRS is like having an autopsy without the benefit of dying.
-Unattributed

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems.
-Romana Machado

Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes.
-Unattributed

Doing your taxes is a great way to be reminded that you are unsuccessful, unmarried and childless without having to talk to your mother.
-Bryan Donaldson

Every advantage has its tax.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Good software leads to more work. Bad software leads to more work. If there's any time left over from fiddling with software, people spend it on making the tax and legal systems more complicated.
-Bill Westfield

Governments last as long as the undertaxed can defend themselves against the overtaxed.
-Bernard Berenson

Gradually, without noticing it, you turn into a Republican and judge everything on the basis of whether or not it will increase your taxes.
-Dave Barry

I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene.
-Dave Barry

I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged.
-Roger Jones

I hate paying taxes. But I love the civilization they give me.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

I make a fortune from criticizing the policy of the government, and then hand it over to the government in taxes to keep it going.
-George Bernard Shaw

I owed the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-Sue Murphy

I prefer liquor store robbers with hungry kids to companies that locate offshore to avoid U.S. taxes.
-Warren Buffett

I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.
-Robert Bakker (Mr. Bakker is a paleontologist)

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
-Edith Sitwell

I wouldn't mind paying taxes if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
-Dick Gregory

If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.
-Ray Romano

If Patrick Henry thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.
-The Farmer's Almanac

If the average man had had his way there would probably never have been any state. Even today he resents it, classes death with taxes, and yearns for that government which governs least. If he asks for many laws it is only because he is sure that his neighbor needs them; privately he is an unphilosophical anarchist, and thinks laws in his own case superfluous.
-Will Durant

If the Lord had meant us to pay income taxes, he'd have made us smart enough to prepare the return.
-Kirk Kirkpatrick

In case you didn't know, ethanol is made by mixing corn with your tax dollars.
-Paul A. Gigot

Inflation is the one form of taxation that can be imposed without legislation.
-Milton Friedman

Interesting thing about being rich is once you pay your taxes, you're still rich.
-Lewis Black

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

-Unattributed (Bumper Sticker)

It's a game. We (tax lawyers) teach the rich how to play it so they can stay rich- and the IRS keeps changing the rules so we can keep getting rich teaching them.
-John Grisham

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.
-Dave Barry

Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten.
-Lord Bramwell

My uncle claims that if he files his income tax wrong he'll go to jail, and if he files it right he'll go to the poor house.
-Nonnee Coan

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is as satisfying as an income tax refund.
-F.J. Raymond

Nonprofit status is what created the Bible Belt. The tax code brought religion back to this country.
-Gore Vidal

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
-Tom Lehrer

On the whole, I prefer not to be lectured on patriotism by those who keep offshore maildrops in order to avoid paying their taxes.
-Molly Ivins

Our Constitution is in actual operation; everything appears to promise that it will last; but nothing in this world is certain but death and taxes.
-Benjamin Franklin

Owning your own home is America's unique recipe for avoiding revolution and promoting pseudo-equality at the same time. To keep citizens puttering in their yards instead of sputtering on the barricades, the government has gladly deprived itself of billions in tax revenues by letting home 'owners' deduct mortgage interest payments.
-Florence King

Passive activity income does not include the following: Income from an activity that is not a passive activity.
-(Instructions to IRS Form 8582, Passive Activity Loss Limitations)

People want just taxes more than they want lower taxes. They want to know that every man is paying his proportionate share according to his wealth.
-Will Rogers

Political figures who talk a lot about liberty and freedom invariably turn out to mean the freedom to not pay taxes and discriminate based on race; freedom to hold different ideas and express them, not so much.
-Paul Krugman

Politics is very much like taxes- everybody is against them, or everybody is for them as long as they don't apply to him.
-Fiorello LaGuardia

Real charity doesn't care if it's tax-deductible or not.
-Dan Bennett

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.
-Art Buchwald

Taxes and golf are alike: you drive your heart out for the green, and then end up in the hole.
-Unattributed

The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that still carries any reward.
-John Maynard Keynes

The contented and economically comfortable have a very discriminating view of government. Nobody is ever indignant about bailing out failed banks and failed savings and loans associations... But when taxes must be paid for the lower middle class and poor, the government assumes an aspect of wickedness.
-John Kenneth Galbraith

The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes.
-Unattributed

The First Rule of Practicing Tax Law: If someone has to go to jail, make sure it's the client.
-Fred Drasner

The Government cannot afford to have a country made up entirely of rich people, because rich people pay so little tax that the Government would quickly go bankrupt. This is why Government men always tell us that labor is man's noblest calling. Government needs labor to pay its upkeep.
-Russell Baker

The government is mainly an expensive organization to regulate evildoers and tax those who behave.
-E.W. Howe

The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.
-Albert Einstein

The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.
-Barry M. Goldwater

The IRS may take some solace in the fact that Matthew was a tax collector before he became a saint.
-Donald C. Alexander

The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.
-Will Cuppy

The one thing that hurts more than having to pay income tax is not having to pay income tax.
-Thomas R. Dewar

The only civilized country is one in which no man is afraid of the tax collector.
-Juan de Mariana

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
-Will Rogers

The only things in life that you can't avoid are death and taxes. And an occasional pedestrian.
-Perry Friedman

The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money.
(On dealing with the IRS)
-Unattributed

The United States has a system of taxation by confession.
-Hugo Black

The United States is the only country where it takes more brains to figure your tax than to earn the money to pay it.
-Edward J. Gurney

The wages of sin are death, but after taxes are taken out, it's just a tired feeling.
-Paula Poundstone

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
-Joe E. Lewis

There is just one thing I can promise you about the outer space program: your tax dollars will go farther.
-Wernher von Braun

There is untold wealth in America, especially at tax time.
-(Cartoon caption in The Wall Street Journal)

There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little- and it's always somebody else.
-Cullen Hightower

This year I'm going to deduct last year's taxes as a bad investment.
-Unattributed

To steal from one person is theft. To steal from many is taxation.
-Jeff Daiell

To tax the community for the advantage of a class is not protection: it is plunder.
-Benjamin Disraeli

True, everyone lies, but there's a difference between 'No, those pants don't make your ass look fat, and 'No, there's nothing incriminating in those unreleased tax returns.'
-Kevin G. Barkes

War- after all, what is it that the people get? Why- widows, taxes, wooden legs and debt.
-Samuel B. Pettengill

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
-Mark Twain

What we should have fought for was representation without taxation.
-Sam Levenson

When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that an old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had only one before.
-H.L. Mencken

When Barbary Pirates demand a fee for allowing you to do business, it's called 'tribute money.' When the Mafia demands a fee for allowing you to do business, it's called 'the protection racket.' When the State demands a fee for allowing you to do business, it's called 'sales tax.'
-Jeff Daiell

When everybody has got money they cut taxes, and when they're broke they raise 'em. That's statesmanship of the highest order.
-Will Rogers

When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.
-Mae West

When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income.
-Plato

When you come into the world you have nothing... when you leave you have nothing... and in between there's the IRS.
-Bob Thaves

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut save you 30 cents?
-Peg Bracken


Categories: Quotes on a topic; Taxes


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It's palidrome week
(permalink)

Published Monday, April 14, 2014 @ 7:17 AM EDT
Apr142014

Every date this week is the same backward:

4/12/14
4/13/14
4/14/14
4/15/14
4/16/14
4/17/14
4/18/14
4/19/14

You're welcome.


Categories: WTF?


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