Quotes of the day: Isak Dinesen

Published Thursday, April 17, 2014 @ 1:32 AM EDT

Karen von Blixen-Finecke (April 17, 1885 - September 7, 1962), née Karen Christenze Dinesen, was a Danish author also known by her pen name Isak Dinesen. Blixen is best known for Out of Africa, her account of living in Kenya, and Babette's Feast, both adapted into Academy Award-winning motion pictures. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)


The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.

A great artist is never poor.

I think these difficult times have helped me to realize how infinitely rich and beautiful life is. And that so many things one worries about are of no importance whatsoever.

What is man, when you come to think upon him, but a minutely set, ingenious machine for turning, with infinite artfulness, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?

Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road.

All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them.

The entire being of a woman is a secret which should be kept.

Love, with very young people, is a heartless business. We drink at that age from thirst, or to get drunk; it is only later in life that we occupy ourselves with the individuality of our wine.

Who tells a finer tale than any of us. Silence does.

Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.

When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself.

I think it will be truly glorious when women become real people and have the whole world open to them.

I don't believe in evil, I believe only in horror. In nature there is no evil, only an abundance of horror: the plagues and the blights and the ants and the maggots.

Man reaches the highest point of lovableness at 12 to 17- to get it back, in a second flowering, at the age of 70 to 90.

Real art must always involve some witchcraft.

The best of my nature reveals itself in play, and play is sacred.

Of all the idiots I have met in my life, and the Lord knows that they have not been few or little, I think that I have been the biggest.

I have been told that lions, trapped and shut up in cages, grieve from shame more than from hunger.

People who dream when they sleep at night know of a special kind of happiness which the world of the day holds not.

Tragedy should remain the right of human beings, subject, in their conditions or in their own nature, to the dire law of necessity. To them it is salvation and beatification.

Human talk is a centrifugal function, ever in flight outwards from what is on the talker's mind.

Man and woman are two locked caskets, of which each contains the key to the other.

It never has happened, and it never will happen, and that is why it is told.

Categories: Isak Dinesen; Quotes of the day

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

Quotes of the day: Charlie Chaplin

Published Wednesday, April 16, 2014 @ 4:17 AM EDT

Sir Charles Spencer "Charlie" Chaplin, KBE (April 16, 1889 – December 25, 1977) was an English comic actor, filmmaker, and composer who rose to fame in the silent era. Chaplin became a worldwide icon through his screen persona "the Tramp" and is considered one of the most important figures in the history of the film industry. His career spanned more than 75 years, from childhood in the Victorian era until a year before his death at age 88, and encompassed both adulation and controversy. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)


I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an Emperor- that's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone, if possible- Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another; human beings are like that.

We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there's room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful.

But we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me I say, "Do not despair." The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass and dictators die; and the power they took from the people will return to the people and so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers: Don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel; who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate; only the unloved hate, the unloved and the unnatural.

Soldiers: Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written, "the kingdom of God is within man"- not one man, nor a group of men, but in all men, in you, you the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power! Let us all unite! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie! They do not fulfill their promise; they never will. Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people! Now, let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.

Soldiers: In the name of democracy, let us all unite!

Categories: Charlie Chaplin; Quotes of the day

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

90 quotes about taxes

Published Tuesday, April 15, 2014 @ 5:37 AM EDT

A democratic government is the only one in which those who vote for a tax can escape the obligation to pay it.
-Alexis de Tocqueville

A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
-Fran Lebowitz

A fine is a tax for doing wrong; a tax is a fine for doing well.

A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it.
-Ann Landers

A society which turns so many of its best and brightest into tax lawyers may be doing something wrong.
-Hoffman F. Fuller

A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness.
-George W. Bush

A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.
-Russell B. Long

An unlimited power to tax involves, necessarily, the power to destroy.
-Daniel Webster

And above all, above all, honest work must be rewarded by a fair and just tax system. The tax system today does not reward hard work: it penalizes it. Inherited or invested wealth frequently multiplies itself while paying no taxes at all. But wages on the assembly line or in farming the land, these hard-earned dollars are taxed to the very last penny.
-George McGovern

Anybody has a right to evade taxes if he can get away with it. No citizen has a moral obligation to assist in maintaining the government.
-J.P. Morgan

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
-Oscar Wilde

Behind every man who achieves success,
Stands a mother, a wife and the IRS.
-Ethel Jacobson

Being audited by the IRS is like having an autopsy without the benefit of dying.

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems.
-Romana Machado

Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes.

Doing your taxes is a great way to be reminded that you are unsuccessful, unmarried and childless without having to talk to your mother.
-Bryan Donaldson

Every advantage has its tax.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Good software leads to more work. Bad software leads to more work. If there's any time left over from fiddling with software, people spend it on making the tax and legal systems more complicated.
-Bill Westfield

Governments last as long as the undertaxed can defend themselves against the overtaxed.
-Bernard Berenson

Gradually, without noticing it, you turn into a Republican and judge everything on the basis of whether or not it will increase your taxes.
-Dave Barry

I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene.
-Dave Barry

I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged.
-Roger Jones

I hate paying taxes. But I love the civilization they give me.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

I make a fortune from criticizing the policy of the government, and then hand it over to the government in taxes to keep it going.
-George Bernard Shaw

I owed the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-Sue Murphy

I prefer liquor store robbers with hungry kids to companies that locate offshore to avoid U.S. taxes.
-Warren Buffett

I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.
-Robert Bakker (Mr. Bakker is a paleontologist)

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
-Edith Sitwell

I wouldn't mind paying taxes if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
-Dick Gregory

If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.
-Ray Romano

If Patrick Henry thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.
-The Farmer's Almanac

If the average man had had his way there would probably never have been any state. Even today he resents it, classes death with taxes, and yearns for that government which governs least. If he asks for many laws it is only because he is sure that his neighbor needs them; privately he is an unphilosophical anarchist, and thinks laws in his own case superfluous.
-Will Durant

If the Lord had meant us to pay income taxes, he'd have made us smart enough to prepare the return.
-Kirk Kirkpatrick

In case you didn't know, ethanol is made by mixing corn with your tax dollars.
-Paul A. Gigot

Inflation is the one form of taxation that can be imposed without legislation.
-Milton Friedman

Interesting thing about being rich is once you pay your taxes, you're still rich.
-Lewis Black

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

-Unattributed (Bumper Sticker)

It's a game. We (tax lawyers) teach the rich how to play it so they can stay rich- and the IRS keeps changing the rules so we can keep getting rich teaching them.
-John Grisham

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.
-Dave Barry

Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten.
-Lord Bramwell

My uncle claims that if he files his income tax wrong he'll go to jail, and if he files it right he'll go to the poor house.
-Nonnee Coan

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is as satisfying as an income tax refund.
-F.J. Raymond

Nonprofit status is what created the Bible Belt. The tax code brought religion back to this country.
-Gore Vidal

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
-Tom Lehrer

On the whole, I prefer not to be lectured on patriotism by those who keep offshore maildrops in order to avoid paying their taxes.
-Molly Ivins

Our Constitution is in actual operation; everything appears to promise that it will last; but nothing in this world is certain but death and taxes.
-Benjamin Franklin

Owning your own home is America's unique recipe for avoiding revolution and promoting pseudo-equality at the same time. To keep citizens puttering in their yards instead of sputtering on the barricades, the government has gladly deprived itself of billions in tax revenues by letting home 'owners' deduct mortgage interest payments.
-Florence King

Passive activity income does not include the following: Income from an activity that is not a passive activity.
-(Instructions to IRS Form 8582, Passive Activity Loss Limitations)

People want just taxes more than they want lower taxes. They want to know that every man is paying his proportionate share according to his wealth.
-Will Rogers

Political figures who talk a lot about liberty and freedom invariably turn out to mean the freedom to not pay taxes and discriminate based on race; freedom to hold different ideas and express them, not so much.
-Paul Krugman

Politics is very much like taxes- everybody is against them, or everybody is for them as long as they don't apply to him.
-Fiorello LaGuardia

Real charity doesn't care if it's tax-deductible or not.
-Dan Bennett

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.
-Art Buchwald

Taxes and golf are alike: you drive your heart out for the green, and then end up in the hole.

The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that still carries any reward.
-John Maynard Keynes

The contented and economically comfortable have a very discriminating view of government. Nobody is ever indignant about bailing out failed banks and failed savings and loans associations... But when taxes must be paid for the lower middle class and poor, the government assumes an aspect of wickedness.
-John Kenneth Galbraith

The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes.

The First Rule of Practicing Tax Law: If someone has to go to jail, make sure it's the client.
-Fred Drasner

The Government cannot afford to have a country made up entirely of rich people, because rich people pay so little tax that the Government would quickly go bankrupt. This is why Government men always tell us that labor is man's noblest calling. Government needs labor to pay its upkeep.
-Russell Baker

The government is mainly an expensive organization to regulate evildoers and tax those who behave.
-E.W. Howe

The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.
-Albert Einstein

The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.
-Barry M. Goldwater

The IRS may take some solace in the fact that Matthew was a tax collector before he became a saint.
-Donald C. Alexander

The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.
-Will Cuppy

The one thing that hurts more than having to pay income tax is not having to pay income tax.
-Thomas R. Dewar

The only civilized country is one in which no man is afraid of the tax collector.
-Juan de Mariana

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
-Will Rogers

The only things in life that you can't avoid are death and taxes. And an occasional pedestrian.
-Perry Friedman

The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money.
(On dealing with the IRS)

The United States has a system of taxation by confession.
-Hugo Black

The United States is the only country where it takes more brains to figure your tax than to earn the money to pay it.
-Edward J. Gurney

The wages of sin are death, but after taxes are taken out, it's just a tired feeling.
-Paula Poundstone

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
-Joe E. Lewis

There is just one thing I can promise you about the outer space program: your tax dollars will go farther.
-Wernher von Braun

There is untold wealth in America, especially at tax time.
-(Cartoon caption in The Wall Street Journal)

There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little- and it's always somebody else.
-Cullen Hightower

This year I'm going to deduct last year's taxes as a bad investment.

To steal from one person is theft. To steal from many is taxation.
-Jeff Daiell

To tax the community for the advantage of a class is not protection: it is plunder.
-Benjamin Disraeli

True, everyone lies, but there's a difference between 'No, those pants don't make your ass look fat, and 'No, there's nothing incriminating in those unreleased tax returns.'
-Kevin G. Barkes

War- after all, what is it that the people get? Why- widows, taxes, wooden legs and debt.
-Samuel B. Pettengill

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
-Mark Twain

What we should have fought for was representation without taxation.
-Sam Levenson

When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that an old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had only one before.
-H.L. Mencken

When Barbary Pirates demand a fee for allowing you to do business, it's called 'tribute money.' When the Mafia demands a fee for allowing you to do business, it's called 'the protection racket.' When the State demands a fee for allowing you to do business, it's called 'sales tax.'
-Jeff Daiell

When everybody has got money they cut taxes, and when they're broke they raise 'em. That's statesmanship of the highest order.
-Will Rogers

When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.
-Mae West

When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income.

When you come into the world you have nothing... when you leave you have nothing... and in between there's the IRS.
-Bob Thaves

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut save you 30 cents?
-Peg Bracken

Categories: Quotes on a topic; Taxes

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

It's palidrome week

Published Monday, April 14, 2014 @ 7:17 AM EDT

Every date this week is the same backward:


You're welcome.

Categories: WTF?

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

Quotes of the day: Arnold J. Toynbee

Published Monday, April 14, 2014 @ 2:49 AM EDT

Arnold Joseph Toynbee CH (April 14, 1889 - October 22 1975) was a British historian whose twelve-volume analysis of the rise and fall of civilizations, A Study of History, 1934–1961, was a synthesis of world history, a metahistory based on universal rhythms of rise, flowering and decline, which examined history from a global perspective. A religious outlook permeates the Study and made it especially popular in the United States, for Toynbee rejected Greek humanism, the Enlightenment belief in humanity's essential goodness, and the "false god" of modern nationalism. Toynbee in the 1918–1950 period was a leading specialist on international affairs, especially regarding the Middle East. (Click for full Wikipedia article.)


A city that outdistances man's walking powers is a trap for man.

A life which does not go into action is a failure.

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.

Anxiety and conscience are a powerful pair of dynamos. Between them, they have ensured that I shall work hard, but they cannot ensure that one shall work at anything worthwhile.

As human beings, we are endowed with freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibility upon the shoulders of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is our responsibility.

Civilization is a movement and not a condition, a voyage and not a harbor.

Civilizations die from suicide, not by murder.

Civilizations in decline are consistently characterized by a tendency towards standardization and uniformity.

Civilizations, I believe, come to birth and proceed to grow by successfully responding to successive challenges. They break down and go to pieces if and when a challenge confronts them which they fail to meet.

Compassion is the desire that moves the individual self to widen the scope of its self-concern to embrace the whole of the universal self.

I can not think of any circumstances in which advertising would not be an evil.

I do not believe that civilizations have to die because civilization is not an organism. It is a product of wills.

It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.

Militarism has been by far the commonest cause of the breakdown of civilizations. The single art of war makes progress at the expense of all the arts of peace.

Of the twenty-two civilizations that have appeared in history, nineteen of them collapsed when they reached the moral state the United States is in now.

The art of handling university students is to make oneself appear, and this almost ostentatiously, to be treating them as adults...

The human race's prospects of survival were considerably better when we were defenseless against tigers than they are today when we have become defenseless against ourselves.

The immense cities lie basking on the beaches of the continent like whales that have taken to the land.

The only real struggle in the history of the world... is between the vested interest and social justice.

The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.

To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization.

We have been God-like in our planned breeding of our domesticated plants and animals, but we have been rabbit-like in our unplanned breeding of ourselves.

There is a kind of intellectual provincialism in the dogma that 'life is just one damned thing after another.' Human affairs do not become intelligible until they are seen as a whole.

History not used is nothing, for all intellectual life is action, like practical life, and if you don't use the stuff well, it might as well be dead.

Material power that is not counterbalanced by adequate spiritual power, that is, by love and wisdom, is a curse.

Nothing fails like success when you rely on it too much.

The value of the goal lies in the goal itself; and therefore the goal cannot be attained unless it is pursued for its own sake.

We shall have to share out the fruits of technology among the whole of mankind. The notion that the direct and immediate producers of the fruits of technology have a proprietary right to these fruits will have to be forgotten. After all, who is the producer? Man is a social animal, and the immediate producer has been helped to produce by the whole structure of society, beginning with his own education.

Whatever you are from nature, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent. Be what nature intended you for, and you will succeed; be anything else, and you will be ten thousands times worse than nothing.

Categories: Arnold J. Toynbee; Quotes of the day

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

Cleaning off the desktop

Published Sunday, April 13, 2014 @ 6:33 PM EDT

"Maybe once, in clown college..."


'I never thought I would retire. I always assumed I would be impeached."
–David Letterman



It was so weird to see the anniversary of the Civil Rights Act and realize that fifty years ago Congress accomplished something.
-Andy Borowitz



As an only child, I didn't feel in the least excluded by last week's "Siblings Day."

By the way, I'm off tomorrow in observance of "My Parents Realized They Couldn't Improve Upon Perfection Day."



The difference between your gun and your vote is someone is actually coming for your vote.



I'm thrilled and grateful that CBS chose me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth.
-Stephen Colbert


Random observations:

If I were Piers Morgan, I'd find that plane just to spite CNN.

When one door closes, another opens. Also, you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work. How do you know so little about doors?

You're supposed to get old WITH someone, not BECAUSE of them.
-Carrie Fisher

Balloons are so weird, it's like, happy birthday here’s a plastic sack of my breath.

Newly-released FBI documents allege Al Sharpton was a mob informant. He must have joined MSNBC as part of the Witness Protection Program.
-Stephen Colbert

Standardized tests get an update: reading comprehension will now be limited to 140 characters.
-Stephen Colbert

N. and S. Korea are trading fire at this moment. I go to CNN. Some guy is talking about the battery in the black box. STOP IT.

REMINDER: The leaders of the least productive House of Representatives in recorded history think you're lazy.

The largest number in the universe is the number of separate wads of cotton that can be removed from a torn stuffed animal by a dog.

What the Internet has done is let us know how many millions of Americans can afford a computer, but haven't yet mastered that tricky "your-you're" thing.
-John Fugelsang

You spend one hour in the right WalMart and you'll stop believing in Darwin, too.
-John Fugelsang

Our greatest domestic threat is not foreign terrorists but local morons.
-John Fugelsang

When God said be fruitful and multiply, there were two people. There are now seven billion. Mission accomplished.
-John Fugelsang

We actually don't have slavery any more. We outsource it to China.
-John Fugelsang


And... the desktop is clean.

Categories: Cleaning off the desktop

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

Quotes of the day: Thomas Jefferson

Published Saturday, April 12, 2014 @ 9:30 PM EDT

Thomas Jefferson (April 13 [O.S. April 2] 1743 – July 4, 1826) was an American Founding Father, the principal author of the Declaration of Independence (1776) and the third President of the United States (1801–1809). He was a spokesman for democracy, embraced the principles of republicanism and the rights of man with worldwide influence. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)


And the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.

And to preserve their independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. We must make our election between economy and liberty, or profusion and servitude.

Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies.

Christian creeds and doctrines, the clergy's own fatal inventions, through all the ages has made of Christendom a slaughterhouse, and divided it into sects of inextinguishable hatred for one another.

Compulsion in religion is distinguished peculiarly from compulsion in every other thing. I may grow rich by an art I am compelled to follow; I may recover health by medicines I am compelled to take against my own judgment: but I cannot be saved by a worship I disbelieve and abhor.

Delay is preferable to error.

Difference of opinion is helpful in religion.

Do not be too severe upon the errors of the people, but reclaim them by enlightening them.

Educate and inform the whole mass of the people... They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.

Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.

Experience has already shown that the impeachment the Constitution has provided is not even a scarecrow.

God forbid we should ever be twenty years without a rebellion.

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

I am a great believer in luck. The harder I work, the more I have of it.

I have not observed men's honesty to increase with their riches.

I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.

I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.

I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us that the less we use our power the greater it will be.

I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers of the society but the people themselves; and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them, but to inform their discretion by education. This is the true corrective of abuses of constitutional power.

I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just.

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it.

If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be.

If our house be on fire, without inquiring whether it was fired from within or without, we must try to extinguish it.

If we were directed from Washington when to sow and when to reap, we should all want bread.

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock.

Information is the currency of democracy.

It is always better to have no ideas than false ones; to believe nothing, than to believe what is wrong.

It is as useless to argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason as to administer medication to the dead.

It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.

It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.

It is not by the consolidation, or concentration, of powers, but by their distribution that good government is effected.

It is part of the American character to consider nothing desperate.

Merchants have no country.

No man will ever bring out of the Presidency the reputation which carries him into it.

On every question of construction (of the Constitution) let us carry ourselves back to the time when the Constitution was adopted, recollect the spirit manifested in the debates, and instead of trying what meaning may be squeezed out of the text, or intended against it, conform to the probable one in which it was passed.

Our civil rights have no dependence on our religious opinions, any more than our opinions in physics or geometry.

Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.

Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.

Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions.

Some men look at constitutions with sanctimonious reverence, and deem them like the ark of the covenant, too sacred to be touched. They ascribe to the men of the preceding age a wisdom more than human.

Take care that you never spell a word wrong. Always before you write a word, consider how it is spelled, and, if you do not remember it, turn to a dictionary. It produces great praise to a lady to spell well.

That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves.

The art of governing consists simply of being honest, exercising common sense, following principle, and doing what is right and just.

The course of history shows that as a government grows, liberty decreases.

The man who fears no truths has nothing to fear from lies.

The man who never looks into a newspaper is better informed than he who reads them; inasmuch as he who knows nothing is nearer to truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehood and errors.

The most successful war seldom pays for its losses.

The most valuable of all talents is never using two words when one will do.

The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground.

The possession of facts is knowledge, the use of them is wisdom.

The second office in the government is honorable and easy; the first is but a splendid misery.

The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive. It will often be exercised when wrong, but better so than not to be exercised at all.

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.

Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of liberty.

To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical.

War is an instrument entirely inefficient toward redressing wrong; and multiplies, instead of indemnifying losses.

We hold these truths to be self-evident- that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.

We must be contented to amuse, when we cannot inform.

We should consider ourselves unauthorized to saddle posterity with our debts, and morally bound to pay them ourselves.

Were armies to be raised whenever a speck of war is visible in our horizon, we never should have been without them. Our resources would have been exhausted on dangers which have never happened, instead of being reserved for what is really to take place.

Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.

When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property.

When governments fear the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny.

When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe.

Where the press is free and every man able to read, all is safe.

Categories: Quotes of the day; Thomas Jefferson

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

Quotes of the day: Tom Clancy

Published Saturday, April 12, 2014 @ 10:03 AM EDT

Thomas Leo "Tom" Clancy, Jr. (April 12, 1947 - October 1, 2013) was an American novelist and historian best known for his technically detailed espionage and military science storylines set during and in the aftermath of the Cold War, and for video games that bear his name for licensing and promotional purposes. Seventeen of his novels were bestsellers, and more than 100 million copies of his books are in print. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)


America is a country with a First Amendment, and you're allowed to publish just about anything you want, as long as it's not real secret information. Of course, nobody really does that except for, you know, you guys in the media.

America is the most inventive country in the world because everybody has access to information.

Beware the fury of a patient man.

Courage is being the only one who knows how terrified you are.

Fighting wars is not so much about killing people as it is about finding things out. The more you know, the more likely you are to win a battle.

Helicopters don't fly, they vibrate so badly the ground rejects them.

I've been telling people for 12 years that if you want to get a nuclear device into the United States, just bring it through the port of Miami disguised as cocaine.

I've made up stuff that's turned out to be real, that's the spooky part.

It is a principle of diplomacy that one must know something of the truth in order to lie convincingly.

Life is about learning; when you stop learning, you die.

Look, technology is another word for tool. There was a time when nails were high-tech. There was a time when people had to be told how to use a telephone. We got past that. Technology is just a tool. People use tools to improve their lives.

Man is a creature of hope and invention, both of which believe the idea that things cannot be changed.

Never ask what sort of computer a guy drives. If he's a Mac user, he'll tell you. If not, why embarrass him?

Remember, for every shot you fire, someone, somewhere, is making money.

Success will ruin your life.

That's the ultimate pornography... There's nothing more pornographic than glorifying war.

The army recognized early on that, you know, black people are pretty much the same as white people, they just tend to be a little bit darker. They make just as good soldiers.

The good old days are now. OK? The human condition today is better than it's ever been, and technology is one of the reasons for that.

The thing you have to understand about fighter pilots is they never quite grow past the stage of little boys buzzing past girls on their bicycles.

There are people in government who don't want other people to know what they know. It's just another example of elitism. And I spit on elitism. Show me an elitist, and I'll show you a loser.

There's two kinds of people in the world, the ones who need to be told and the ones who figure it out all by themselves.

Things rarely happen for a single reason. Even the cleverest and most skilled manipulators recognize that their real art lies in making use of that which they cannot predict.

Victory comes only to those prepared to make it, and take it.

Wars are begun by frightened men.

What do I know about sex? I'm a married man.

What the government is good at is collecting taxes, taking away your freedoms and killing people. It's not good at much else.

Whenever somebody comes up with a good idea, there's somebody else who has never had a good idea in his life who stands up and says, 'Oh, you can't do that...'

You'd better not kick a tiger in the ass unless you have a plan for dealing with his teeth.

Categories: Quotes of the day; Tom Clancy

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

Quotes of the day: Ellen Goodman

Published Friday, April 11, 2014 @ 5:44 AM EDT

Ellen Goodman (b. April 11, 1941) is an American journalist and syndicated columnist who won a Pulitzer Prize in 1980. She is also a speaker and commentator, and was one of the first women in the United States to discuss women's rights openly. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)


At times it seems that the media have become the mainstream culture in children's lives. Parents have become the alternative. Americans once expected parents to raise their children in accordance with the dominant cultural messages. Today they are expected to raise their children in opposition to it.

Civility, it is said, means obeying the unenforceable.

I began to realize that life is a growth stage I'm going through.

I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people who are convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference after another.

I regard this novel as a work without redeeming social value, unless it can be recycled as a cardboard box.

If women can sleep their way to the top, how come they aren't there?

In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right.

It's not just that American families have less time with their kids; it's that we have to spend more of this time doing battle with our own culture.

Most people do not consider dawn to be an attractive experience- unless they are still up.

My generation of women thought the women's movement would advance on two legs. With one, we would kick down the doors closed to us. With the other, we would walk through changing society for men and women. It turned out that it was easier to kick down the doors than to change society.

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for- in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

Once upon a time we were just plain people. But that was before we began having relationships with mechanical systems. Get involved with a machine and sooner or later you are reduced to a factor.

The average parent may, for example, plant an artist or fertilize a ballet dancer and end up with a certified public accountant. We cannot train children along chicken wire to make them grow in the right direction. Tying them to stakes is frowned upon, even in Massachusetts.

The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears.

The people often slandered as greedy geezers seem to have a perspective from their place in history. The elders in my family remember the Depression. The baby boomers remember dot-com boom and bust. We all have albums of best laid plans.

The things we hate about ourselves aren't more real than things we like about ourselves.

There's a trick to the Graceful Exit. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over- and to let go. It means leaving what's over without denying its value.

Traditions are the guideposts driven deep in our subconscious minds. The most powerful ones are those we can't even describe, aren't even aware of.

Values are not trendy items that are casually traded in.

We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck... But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness.

We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.

When speech is divorced from speaker and word from meaning, what is left is just ritual, language as ritual.

When we describe what the other person is really like, I suppose we often picture what we want. We look through the prism of our need.

When you live alone, you can be sure that the person who squeezed the toothpaste tube in the middle wasn't committing a hostile act.

Years ago, during a wave of crimes against women in Israel, a council of men asked Golda Meir to put a nighttime curfew on females. Meir said no. If men were the problem, she answered, let the council enforce a curfew against men.

You can fire your secretary, divorce your spouse, abandon your children. But they remain your co-authors forever.

You can teach someone who cares to write columns, but you can't teach someone who writes columns to care.

Categories: Ellen Goodman; Quotes of the day

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

Quotes of the day: Evelyn Waugh

Published Thursday, April 10, 2014 @ 1:08 AM EDT

Arthur Evelyn St. John Waugh (October 28, 1903 – April 10, 1966), known as Evelyn Waugh, was an English writer of novels, biographies and travel books. He was also a prolific journalist and reviewer. His best-known works include his early satires Decline and Fall (1928) and A Handful of Dust (1934), his novel Brideshead Revisited (1945) and his trilogy of Second World War novels collectively known as Sword of Honour (1952–61). Waugh is widely recognised as one of the great prose stylists of the 20th century. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)


Aesthetic value is often the by-product of the artist striving to do something else.

Don't hold your parents up to contempt. After all, you are their son, and it is just possible that you may take after them.

He was gifted with the sly, sharp instinct for self-preservation that passes for wisdom among the rich.

How ungenerously in later life we disclaim the virtuous moods of our youth, living in retrospect long, summer days of unreflecting dissipation.

I don't believe that people would ever fall in love or want to be married if they hadn't been told about it. It's like abroad: no one would want to go there if they hadn't been told it existed.

I don't like Norwegians at all. The sun never sets, the bar never opens, and the whole country smells of kippers.

I have never learned French well, and I never learned any other language at all; I’ve forgotten most of my classics; I can’t often remember people’s faces in the streets; and I don’t like music. Those are very grave failings.

If politicians and scientists were lazier, how much happier we should all be.

It is a curious thing... that every creed promises a paradise that will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste.

Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get away with anything.

My children weary me. I can only see them as defective adults: feckless, destructive, frivolous, sensual, humorless.

Of children as of procreation— the pleasure momentary, the posture ridiculous, the expense damnable.

One forgets words as one forgets names. One's vocabulary needs constant fertilizing or it will die.

Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future has one reached the age to write an autobiography.

Other nations use 'force;' we Britons alone use 'Might.'

Perhaps host and guest is really the happiest relation for a father and son.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

The human mind is inspired enough when it comes to inventing horrors; it is when it tries to invent a Heaven that it shows itself cloddish.

The trouble with modern education is you never know how ignorant they are.

To know and love one other human being is the root of all wisdom.

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them- a diminishing number in my case.

We possess nothing certainly except the past.

We schoolmasters must temper discretion with deceit.

When we argue for our limitations, we get to keep them.

You have no idea how much nastier I would be if I was not a Catholic. Without supernatural aid I would hardly be a human being.

Categories: Evelyn Waugh; Quotes of the day

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

Quotes of the day: Sam Harris

Published Wednesday, April 09, 2014 @ 4:31 AM EDT

Samuel B. Harris (b. April 9, 1967) is an American author, philosopher and neuroscientist, and is a contemporary critic of religion and proponent of scientific skepticism and the "New Atheism". He is also an advocate for the separation of church and state, freedom of religion, and the liberty to criticize religion. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)


Today is also Tom Lehrer's birthday. Mr. Lehrer, who always gives his age in Celsius, is 30. (That's 86F.)


Atheism is a term that should not even exist. No one ever needs to identify himself as a 'non-astrologer' or a 'non-alchemist.' We do not have words for people who doubt that Elvis is still alive or that aliens have traversed the galaxy only to molest ranchers and their cattle.

Atheism is just a way of clearing the space for better conversations.

Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make when in the presence of religious dogma.

Either God can do nothing to stop catastrophes like this, or he doesn't care to, or he doesn't exist. God is either impotent, evil, or imaginary. Take your pick, and choose wisely.

Faith is a declaration of immunity to the powers of conversation.

Faith is what credulity becomes when it finally achieves escape velocity from the constraints of terrestrial discourse.

Faith is, really, the permission that religious people give one another to believe things strongly when reasons fail. There is no other area in our discourse where we consider this to be an acceptable practice.

From my point of view, compatibilism is a little like saying: a puppet is free so long as it loves its strings.

I've read the books. God is not a moderate. There's no place in the books where God says, 'You know, when you get to the New World and you develop your three branches of government and you have a civil society, you can just jettison all the barbarism I recommended in the first books.'

If someone doesn't value evidence, what evidence are you going to provide to prove that they should value it? If someone doesn't value logic, what logical argument could you provide to show the importance of logic?

If we expect God to subscribe to one religion at the exclusion of all the others, then we should expect damnation as a matter of chance. This should give Christians pause when expounding their religious beliefs, but it does not.

Imagine a world in which generations of human beings come to believe that certain films were made by God or that specific software was coded by him. Imagine a future in which millions of our descendants murder each other over rival interpretations of Star Wars or Windows. Could anything- anything- be more ridiculous? And yet, this would be no more ridiculous than the world we are living in.

It is merely an accident of history that it is considered normal in our society to believe that the Creator of the universe can hear your thoughts while it is demonstrative of mental illness to believe that he is communicating with you by having the rain tap in Morse code on your bedroom window.

It is time we recognized that those who claim the "right not to be offended" have also announced their hatred of civil society.

Mahavira, the Jain patriarch, surpassed the morality of the Bible with a single sentence: 'Do not injure, abuse, oppress, enslave, insult, torment, torture, or kill any creature or living being.' Imagine how different our world might be if the Bible contained this as its central precept.

Nothing is more sacred than the facts.

Religious moderates are, in large part, responsible for the religious conflict in our world, because their beliefs provide the context in which scriptural literalism and religious violence can never be adequately opposed.

Religious moderation is the product of secular knowledge and scriptural ignorance.

The Bible, it seems certain, was the work of sand-strewn men and women who thought the earth was flat and for whom a wheelbarrow would have been a breathtaking example of emerging technology.

The deity who stalked the deserts of the Middle East millennia ago- and who seems to have abandoned them to bloodshed in his name ever since- is no one to consult on questions of ethics.

The difference between science and religion is the difference between a willingness to dispassionately consider new evidence and new arguments, and a passionate unwillingness to do so.

The moral truth here is obvious: anyone who feels that the interests of a blastocyst just might supersede the interests of a child with a spinal cord injury has had his moral sense blinded by religious metaphysics.

The only angels we need invoke are those of our better nature: reason, honesty, and love. The only demons we must fear are those that lurk inside every human mind: ignorance, hatred, greed, and faith, which is surely the devil's masterpiece.

The president of the United States has claimed, on more than one occasion, to be in dialogue with God. If he said that he was talking to God through his hairdryer, this would precipitate a national emergency. I fail to see how the addition of a hairdryer makes the claim more ridiculous or offensive.

The problem is that religion, because it's been sheltered from criticism in the way that it has been, allows people- perfectly sane, perfectly intelligent people- to believe en masse what only idiots or lunatics could believe in isolation.

Theology is now little more than a branch of human ignorance. Indeed, it is ignorance with wings.

We are now in the 21st century: all books, including the Koran, should be fair game for flushing down the toilet without fear of violent reprisal.

We have Christians against Muslims against Jews. They're making incompatible claims on real estate in the Middle East as though God were some kind of omniscient real estate broker parsing out parcels of land to his chosen flock. People are literally dying over ancient literature.

When considering the truth of a proposition, one is either engaged in an honest appraisal of the evidence and logical arguments, or one isn't. Religion is one area of our lives where people imagine that some other standard of intellectual integrity applies.

You are not controlling the storm, and you are not lost in it. You are the storm.

You are not in control of your mind- because you, as a conscious agent, are only part of your mind, living at the mercy of other parts.

You don't get anything worth getting by pretending to know things you don't know.

Categories: Quotes of the day; Sam Harris

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter


Published Tuesday, April 08, 2014 @ 12:00 AM EDT


In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
-Laurence J. Peter

All useful work is done by individuals who haven't yet reached their level of incompetence.
-Laurence J. Peter

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
-Laurence J. Peter

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.
-Laurence J. Peter

Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
-Laurence J. Peter

In most hierarchies, super-competence is more objectionable than incompetence.
-Laurence J. Peter

An incompetent attorney can delay a trail for years or months. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.
-Evelle J. Younger

Burning dinner is not incompetence but war.
-Marge Piercy

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
-George Bernard Shaw

Education is the inculcation of the incomprehensible into the indifferent by the incompetent.
-John Maynard Keynes

God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos; He will set them above their betters.
-H.L. Mencken

I don't have time to distinguish between the unfortunate and the incompetent.
-General Curtis LeMay

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
-John Cleese

I will feel equality has arrived when we can elect to office women who are as incompetent as some of the men who are already there.
-Maureen Reagan

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
-Edith Sitwell

Incompetence is a double-edged banana.
-John Perry Barlow

Laziness has become the chief characteristic of journalism, displacing incompetence.
-Kingsley Amis

Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, who can't, and those in cemeteries.
-Everett Dirksen

Maybe a vague president and an incompetent and somewhat corrupt administration is what the nation needs.
-P.J. O'Rourke

Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence.
-Robert J. Hanlon

Obscurity is the refuge of incompetence.
-Robert A. Heinlein

One of the chief features of incompetence is an inability to see it in oneself.
-Kim Stanley Robinson

Only the incompetent wait until the last extremity to use force, and by then, it is usually too late to use anything, even prayer.
-H. Beam Piper

Our citizens have the right to protection from the incompetency of public employees who hold their places solely as the reward of partisan service. (1885)
-Grover Cleveland

Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent.
-Boies Penrose

The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
-Quentin Crisp

The only foes that threaten America are the enemies at home, and these are ignorance, superstition, and incompetence.
-Elbert Hubbard

The supreme crime of the church today is that everywhere and in all its operations and influences it is on the side of sloth of mind; that it banishes brains, it sanctifies stupidity, it canonizes incompetence.
-Upton Sinclair

The two-party system has given this country the war of Lyndon Johnson, the Watergate of Nixon and the incompetence of Carter. Saying we should keep the two-party system simply because it is working is like saying the Titanic voyage was a success because a few people survived on life rafts.
-Eugene McCarthy

There's nothing wrong with being incompetent. It just means you don't have to do as much.
-Charles Manson

Unfortunately there was one thing that the white South feared more than Negro dishonesty, ignorance, and incompetency, and that was Negro honesty, knowledge, and efficiency.
-W.E.B. DuBois

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
-Isaac Asimov

Categories: Quotes on a topic

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

Quotes of the day: William Wordsworth

Published Monday, April 07, 2014 @ 5:26 AM EDT

William Wordsworth (April 6, 1770 – April 23, 1850) was a major English Romantic poet who, with Samuel Taylor Coleridge, helped to launch the Romantic Age in English literature with the 1798 joint publication Lyrical Ballads. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)


A multitude of causes unknown to former times are now acting with a combined force to blunt the discriminating powers of the mind, and unfitting it for all voluntary exertion to reduce it to a state of almost savage torpor.

Come forth into the light of things, let nature be your teacher.

Faith is a passionate intuition.

And he is oft the wisest man
Who is not wise at all.

For I have learned to look on nature, not as in the hour of thoughtless youth, but hearing oftentimes the still, sad music of humanity.

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

Life is divided into three terms - that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present to live better in the future.

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting. Not in entire forgetfulness, and not in utter nakedness, but trailing clouds of glory do we come.

Suffering is permanent, obscure and dark,
And shares the nature of infinity.

That best portion of a man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.

And yet the wiser mind
Mourns less for what age takes away
Than what it leaves behind.

What is pride?- a whizzing rocket
That would emulate a star.

Wisdom is oft-times nearer when we stoop
Than when we soar.

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!

Men do not make their homes unhappy because they have genius, but because they have not enough genius; a mind and sentiments of a higher order would render them capable of seeing and feeling all the beauty of domestic ties.

Not without hope we suffer and we mourn.

What fond and wayward thoughts will slide
Into a Lover's head!

To the solid ground Of Nature trusts the mind which builds for aye.

Categories: Quotes of the day; William Wordsworth

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

Cleaning off the desktop

Published Sunday, April 06, 2014 @ 7:31 PM EDT


McDonalds closes in Crimea. Actually, this is serious. The United States has never gone to war with a country that had an operating McDonalds.



You can't legally own a hedgehog in Pennsylvania.



REMINDER: Though the Supreme Court says there is no difference, your servers prefer you tip in actual money rather than "speech."



Saturday Night Live's parody of Fox and Friends included "a list of corrections from our first hour":
-Captain America was never a U.S. President.
-Lifesavers aren't medicine.
-The periodic table is not about "lady stuff."
-You can not abbreviate the Supreme Court to spell SCROTUM.
-Hong Kong is a region in China. Not a video game from Nintendo.
-Malaysia is not the female version of Asia.
-Chicklets do not grow up to be roosters.
-Chris Christie was never in the show "Three's Company."
-Infinity pools have a limited amount of water.
-Garfunkel is not Garfield's black cousin. -The Chile Earthquake is not a bold new product from Dairy Queen.
-Captain Phillips is not a brand of rum.
-Marvin Gaye liked women.
-Nancy Pelosi is a human woman.
-God loves figs.
-Noah is not "found footage."



All the great buzz about Captain America has convinced me that I need to drop everything and watch it on cable next year.


In the spring of 1967, 47(!) years ago, Patricia Pugh, John Krause and I represented Homestead Junior High School in the KDKA/Pittsburgh Press spelling bee.


I have to believe the Supreme Court is working for tips now.


Pixie is an 11 month old Shih Tzu, which supposedly is Mandarin Chinese for "lion," but should be "strange, small, dog-like creature." Sassafras (a corruption of the Latin saxifrage, or "rock-breaker") is a ten year old Shetland Sheepdog. In human years, they're roughly 16 and 60 years old.
"But Dad says we're from the same litter."
"In your dreams, kid."


There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.


Pittsburgh radio legend Clarke Ingram noted the above happened 50 years ago this month, and hasn't been duplicated by any other artist or group.


So, Letterman's retiring. Wonder if Leno is available?


Wonderful YouTube video featuring SPCA of Wake County and Queen.


Headline of the week:
"Willie Nelson’s armadillo returned
after being kidnapped in Las Vegas"


And... the desktop is clean.

Categories: Cartoons; Cleaning off the desktop; Miscellany

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

It's about Time

Published Sunday, April 06, 2014 @ 4:35 AM EDT

Time affords us the ability to blame past errors on others while whole heartedly pronouncing our future successes.
-Douglas Adams

Time and space- time to be alone, space to move about- these may well become the great scarcities of tomorrow.
-Edwin Way Teale

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.
-Dorothy Sayers

Time bears away all things, even the mind.

Time cools, time clarifies, no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.
-Thomas Mann

Time deals gently only with those who take it gently.
-Anatole France

Time discovers truth.
-Lucias Annaeus Seneca

Time doesn't go. Time stays. We go.
-Linda Ellerbee

Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.

Time flies when you're on Prozac.
-Bette Midler

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
-Robert Orben

Time has a wonderful way of weeding out the trivial.
-Richard Ben Sapir

Time has no divisions to mark its passage; there is never a thunderstorm to announce the beginning of a new year. It is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols.
-Thomas Mann

Time has no meaning in itself unless we choose to give it significance.
-Leo Buscaglia

Time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons.
-Blaise Pascal

Time is a fluid condition which has no existence except in the momentary avatars of individual people.
-William Faulkner

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-Hector Berlioz

Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.
-Marcus Aurelius

Time is both longer and shorter than you think, and usually all at once.
-Joan D. Vinge

Time is but the shadow of the world upon the background of Eternity.
-Jerome K. Jerome

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
-Henry David Thoreau

Time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.
-William Faulkner

Time is everything; five minutes make the difference between victory and defeat.
-Horatio Nelson

Time is not measured by the passing of years but by what one does, what one feels, and what one achieves.
-Jawaharlal Nehru

Time is only linear for engineers and referees.
-Craig Ferguson

Time is our element, not a mistaken invader.
-John Updike

Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time.
-Benjamin Disraeli

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
-Carl Sandburg

Time is the friend of the wonderful business, the enemy of the mediocre.
-Warren Buffett

Time is the great legalizer, even in the field of morals.
-H.L. Mencken

Time is the great physician.
-Benjamin Disraeli

Time is the longest distance between two places.
-Tennessee Williams

Time is the most valuable thing on earth: time to think, time to act, time to extend our fraternal relations, time to become better men, time to become better women, time to become better and more independent citizens.
-Samuel Gompers

Time is the mother and mugger of us all.
-Karen Elizabeth Gordon

Time is the only critic without ambition.
-John Steinbeck

Time is the quality of nature that keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working.

Time is the rider that breaks youth.
-George Herbert

Time is the storyteller you can't shut up.
-Carl Sandburg

Time is what prevents everything from happening at once.
-John Archibald Wheeler

Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once and space is what keeps it all from happening to you.
-David Gerrold

Time marks us while we are marking time.
-Theodore Roethke

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
-Dorothy Parker

Time moves in one direction, memory in another.
-William Gibson

Time neither moves nor is stationary. Time changes.
-Paulo Coelho

Time spent arguing with the faithful is, oddly enough, almost never wasted.
-Christopher Hitchens

Time will explain it all. He is a talker, and needs no questioning before he speaks.

Time wounds all heels.
-Jane Sherwood Ace

Time's a strange fellow;
more he gives than takes
(and he takes all)
--E.E. Cummings

Time's fun when you're having flies.
-Kermit the Frog

Time, space, and natural law hold for me suggestions of intolerable bondage, and I can form no picture of emotional satisfaction which does not involve their defeat- especially the defeat of time, so that one may merge oneself with the whole historic stream and be wholly emancipated from the transient and the ephemeral.
-H.P. Lovecraft

Categories: Quotes of the day; Quotes on a topic

  Subscribe   [Home]    [Commentwear]    [E-Mail KGB]

Older entries, Archives and Categories       Top of page

Like KGB Report on Facebook and follow us on Twitter