KGB Report by Kevin G. Barkes

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
Chevalier, Maurice

One of 13,730 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

(July 2000 and earlier)

Saturday, July 04, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Why Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence

Subscribe in a reader [Home] [Commentwear] [Comment]

Thursday, July 02, 2009
posted by KGB at 9:14 PM (permalink)

News of the day

Scientists Create First Working Model of a Two-Qubit Electronic Quantum Processor.

Just trying to keep you all up to speed.

You're welcome.

Subscribe in a reader [Home] [Commentwear] [Comment]

Monday, June 29, 2009
posted by KGB at 3:43 PM (permalink)

Kathy

There have been an unusual number of celebrity deaths in the past week. They grab the headlines because their careers in the spotlight "touched the lives of millions."

But what does that phrase really mean?

In most cases, it means you saw the celebrity on television or at the movies; you bought an album or attended a concert; maybe you were fortunate enough to meet the celebrity, shake hands, get an autograph.

The paradox here is that the celebrity, known by millions, is really untouchable. The "life touching" business is all on your part. The celebrity is not even a participant; the term is purely figurative.

Kathy Cecotti, who passed away today at a terribly young 42, touched the lives of thousands. Not figuratively, but literally.

She not only touched them- she taught them, guided them, supported them, cared for them. Touch is a totally inadequate term. She embraced the lives of her students.

No one who met or worked with Kathy could ever forget her. Fifteen years ago when my kids were in the high school drama club, we all had the great good fortune to have her as a director. My kids learned that hard work, diligence and responsibility provided great rewards. They also learned that for the success of a show, it was often necessary to put the needs of others ahead of their own. How unlike the cold philosophy of the solo, narcissistic "stars" of today... but Kathy knew those lessons not only made good shows- they made good lives.

There were practical lessons as well. I learned how to make Kool-Aid in 12 gallon barrels and developed the optimum pricing methods to use to make certain all the cookies were gone when it was time to close the refreshment stand. Also, how to stay awake when you're chaperoning an all-night cast bowing party, which is not as easy as it sounds. Kathy also taught me that "a few t-shirts" was actually a dozen- and I still wear those South Park High School 1994 "Babes In Arms" shirts with pride.

Watching Kathy direct or perform (she played a great drunk in "Promises, Promises" at the local community theater) was a pure joy. That's the word that sticks in my mind when I remember her. The thesaurus entries for "pure" provide an astute, accurate description of Kathy: "authentic, bright, classic, clear, complete, fair, flawless, lucid, natural, perfect, real, simple, straight, total, transparent, true, unadulterated, pure and simple, twenty-four carat, unalloyed, unclouded, undiluted."

Fans of celebrities may have an autograph or a recording or a poster on a wall. The students of Kathy- and, really, that's what we all were- have her indelibly etched in our memories.

She taught you where to stand, how to project, how to do a double take, how to tell your partner in the dance number he had bad breath, how to build up the nerve to ask the cute prop girl out on a date... and, of course, the wise, tender counsel that enabled you to deal with that horrible dilemma you couldn't discuss with anyone else. Today, that problem reveals itself as a laughable teenage trifle. But Kathy managed to keep a straight face, and she gave you sound, sincere advice that you use to this day.

There's an old saying that a good teacher is like a candle- it consumes itself to light the way for others.

Remember that, especially now, when grief tries to envelope us with its numbing blackness.

Thanks to Kathy, our existence- that stage we all share- is not dark. It's illuminated by the good works of her life. And it's a light that will always be with us.

Kathleen Cecotti
June 29, 2009

Age 42, after a heroic five-year battle with cancer, Kathy gracefully exited this life on Monday, June 29, 2009. Kathy is the beloved wife and high school sweetheart of Keith Cecotti and loving mother of Carter 13, Teddy 10, and Preston 5. Kathy is survived by her mother and step-father, Mary and Tom Burich, her sisters Amy Loris and Janet (Mike) Tracey, and her brother James (Corinna) Marshall. Kathy is also survived by step-brother Tom and step-sister Lynda, as well as 12 nieces and nephews. Kathy is the loved daughter-in-law of Mel and Diane Cecotti, and sister-in-law of Kevin Cecotti. Kathy was pre-deceased by her father, Harry B. Ford. Kathy has spent 15 years teaching Theatre and English at Thomas Jefferson High School. Kathy's greatest passion has been her involvement with the drama club at TJHS, where she has directed many plays and musicals which have involved thousands of students. Kathy enjoyed sharing her love of theatre with all of her students and always tried to be a positive influence on the students and faculty alike. Kathy was also a long time member of St. Paul's Espicopal Church in Mt. Lebanon, where she greatly enjoyed the love and faith that she shared with the clergy and her many friends there. Kathy has touched the lives of many people throughout the South Hills and will be sadly missed. Friends will be received on Wednesday and Thursday from 1- 4 and 6-9 at the Jefferson Memorial Funeral Home, 301 Curry Hollow Road, Pleasant Hills. Funeral services will be Friday, July 3, 2009 at St. Paul's Espicopal Church. Interment Jefferson Memorial Park.

Subscribe in a reader [Home] [Commentwear] [Comment]

posted by KGB at 2:12 AM (permalink)

Photo of the day

(via Michael King, posted on the ABC World News Now discussion group on Google)

Subscribe in a reader [Home] [Commentwear] [Comment]

Sunday, June 28, 2009
posted by KGB at 9:22 AM (permalink)

What to do with your flying monkey

When my daughter was young and I traveled on business, I would invariably open my suitcase in the hotel room and discover my little sweetie had hidden a small teddy bear or other stuffed animal in with my clothes, usually with a crayon-inscribed note. It always made me smile; it was comforting to know someone was thinking about me during my travels.

I mention this because Cindy is away visiting family, and before she left I secreted a small item in her luggage: specifically, a Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz flying monkey. It was a McDonalds giveaway item. Nonetheless, its acquisition had forced her to visit multiple McDonalds and order multiple Happy Meals. That's what you call true personal sacrifice.

The monkey has a position of honor on the piano in my office. It caught my eye as Cindy was packing on Friday night. The scheme was quickly hatched.

The next day, as Cindy traveled with her daughters and grandkids to a softball game, I gave her a call. After exchanging the usual pleasantries, the payoff came:

"Why did you put a flying monkey in my suitcase?"

"So you could enjoy the expressions on the faces of the people hearing you ask me that question."

Some things are worth the extra effort.

Subscribe in a reader [Home] [Commentwear] [Comment]

Saturday, June 27, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:00 AM (permalink)

The critics agree...

Compared to this sequel, the first "Transformers," released two years ago, ranks right up there with Kant's "Critique of Pure Reason."
-The Wall Street Journal

...a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine... If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.
-Roger Ebert

...a perfectly dreadful sequel that's the filmic equivalent of a 150-minute waterboarding session.
-Creative Loafing

I'd rather listen to Mr. Roboto on a loop for 150 minutes than watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen again.
-richmond.com

Michael Bay has once again transformed garbage into something resembling a film, at least in the loosest sense: it can be run through a projector and used to sell millions of tickets.
-Combustible Celluloid

Revenge of the Fallen is more like listening to rocks in a clothes dryer for 2 1/2 hours.
-Chicago Tribune

The digital effects are mind-boggling, assuming, after extensive pulverisation, that you have a mind left to boggle.
-Financial Times

Transformers: The Revenge of The Fallen is beyond bad, it carves out its own category of godawfulness.
-Rolling Stone

...nearly unwatchable, a 140-minute video game that will insult your intelligence, hurt your eyes, and offend your sense of decency until you worry that your skull might explode while your brain trickles right out of your ears.
-Washington City Paper

Subscribe in a reader [Home] [Commentwear] [Comment]

Friday, June 26, 2009
posted by KGB at 10:40 AM (permalink)

The National Enquirer was right again

As much as it's despised, The National Enquirer has proven itself to be a generally reliable news source, especially since the whole O.J. Simpson business in the early 90s.

Take a look here. The paper reported in January that the King of Pop had just six months to live, a prediction that proved to be correct.

It will be interesting to learn the results of Jackson's autopsy, and if it confirms the Enquirer's allegations.

Subscribe in a reader [Home] [Commentwear] [Comment]

posted by KGB at 12:39 AM (permalink)

Flashback

Michael Jackson's death takes me back to my junior and senior years in high school. The Jackson Five's first single, "I Want You Back," was a huge hit. It was played incessantly by the record club, and our ad hoc five-piece stage band, which jammed at half time at home basketball games, spent hours trying to master the marvelously unique descending chord progression in the song's chorus.

In retrospect, the rise of the Jackson Five marked the beginning of the end of the Motown with which I grew up. It was at that point that Berry Gordy, well, started losing his mind. Within two years of the Jacksons' arrival, Diana Ross had departed the Supremes and Motown left Detroit for Los Angeles, in the process losing Martha Reeves, The Four Tops, Gladys Knight and the Pips and, perhaps most critically, the Funk Brothers. Motown's legendary studio band had played on more number one records than The Beatles, Elvis Presley, The Rolling Stones and The Beach Boys combined. They were the ones responsible for the label's singular sound.

Motown was never the same.

If you're old enough to remember, another group rising at the same time was the Osmond Brothers. They hit it big recording songs that sounded a lot like the upbeat pop being produced by the Jacksons. The groups found themselves being identified as "a white Jacksons" or "a black Osmonds;" their sounds were almost interchangeable.

Indeed, the Osmonds' number one hit, "One Bad Apple," was a deliberate paraphrase of "I Want You Back," with its own funky descending bass line in the chorus. The similarity isn't surprising, since its non-Motown writer had composed it as a follow-up to the Jacksons' first single. (Supposedly, the group passed on "Apple" for their second hit, "ABC.")

Listen to the videos and compare the groups. You can skip over the Cosby shtick and start the Jackson video at 1:20 in.

The Osmonds' show in June 1971 at the Civic Arena in Pittsburgh was the first concert I ever attended. I had to hear "Apple" performed live.

When I think of Michael Jackson, I like to think of the little kid doing "I Want You Back." The post-"Thriller" weirdness just makes me sad. Jackson never knew a life even remotely related to normal. Kids who no longer want to be doctors or engineers or astronauts, whose goal in life is "to be famous," ought to take a long look at Jackson's life. Make your kid take piano lessons, sure, but also let him explore the neighborhood with his friends, play video games, and generally goof off. I wouldn't wish The King of Pop's life on my worst enemy.

Subscribe in a reader [Home] [Commentwear] [Comment]

Thursday, June 25, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Remembering The Great One

Jackie Gleason (February 26, 1916-June 24, 1987)

Subscribe in a reader [Home] [Commentwear] [Comment]

Copyright © 1987-2009 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...