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Cleaning off the desktop
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Published Sunday, January 26, 2014 @ 5:48 AM EST
Jan 26 2014


Granddaughters Joelle and Lea. Joelle appears to be thinking, "I don't mind the sleepover business, but she's touching my bear."

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Rep. Steve Pearce (R-NM) on marriage between a man and a woman:

'The wife is to voluntarily submit, just as the husband is to lovingly lead and sacrifice. The husband’s part is to show up during the times of deep stress, take the leadership role and be accountable for the outcome, blaming no one else.'

To be fair, it sounds better in the original Klingon.

-Zay N. Smith

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I'm a non-violent kind of guy, but I sincerely believe anyone who uses the word 'whilst' should be soundly thrashed.

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"Secret formulas" abound on social media for wondrous cleaning solutions you can make in your home.

Don't waste your time.

Homemade whatevers - rug cleaner, spot remover, detergent - all contain just one real, active ingredient: dishwashing liquid. That's it. Period. Be especially wary of the ones which include both vinegar and baking soda. When mixed, the acetic acid in the vinegar and the baking soda react to form carbonic acid and sodium acetate. Carbonic acid sounds impressive, but all it really is carbonated water. And when it stops fizzing, it's because all the carbon dioxide has escaped from the mixture. Take the carbon dioxide out of carbonic acid, and you have... water. So you're left with just water and sodium acetate. Sodium acetate is a nifty chemical, with lots of uses- but cleaning ain't one of them. Just just save yourself the trouble and just use the soap and water.

(Courtesy of the late George Kraynick, my sophomore chemistry teacher.)

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Ok, maybe it is a real dog and pony show...

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I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm right.
-Bill Murray

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Funeral home directors: when the only phrase in a death notice that appears in initial caps and within quotation marks is "Dear Wife", you're sending a mixed message...

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"It was the first kiss between an African-American woman and a white Canadian in a toupee."
-Craig Ferguson (describing Nichelle Nichols and William Shatner in the original Star Trek tv series.)

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"Kraft has recalled over 1.7 million pounds of Velveeta products for mis-labeled ingredients. They accidentally called it 'cheese'."
-Stephen Colbert

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Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.
-Bill Murray

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Am I supposed to feel safer because corporations, not terrorists, are blowing up fertilizer plants, drowning towns in oil, and poisoning the water?
-@TheDailyEdge

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It's a girl my Lord
In a flatbed Ford
Slowing down to do
Some misandry
(from Twitter)

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Agnostic apathetic isolationist.
I don't know. I don't care. Go away.

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I'm no scientist, but legalizing marijuana in your state seems to cause immediate football superiority.
-@j_mccarter

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Granddaughter Joelle takes the term "menu sampler" literally.
(With her mom, Angela, and senior granddaughter Leanna.)

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Excluding starches, preservatives, emulsifiers and artificial flavoring, Soylent Green is actually less than 2% people.
-The Covert Comic


Categories: Animals, Cartoons, Cleaning off the desktop, KGB Family, Miscellany


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Cleaning off the desktop
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Published Sunday, November 17, 2013 @ 11:04 AM EST
Nov 17 2013

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Son Douglas and granddaughter Joelle enjoy a quiet Sunday morning.

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WASHINGTON — The Federal Communications Commission on Thursday released its first smartphone app, a free program that allows consumers to measure the broadband speed they are getting on their mobile devices and to determine whether it is as fast as wireless companies say.
 
Gee, wonder what else it can do?

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A group of eleventh graders from Homestead High School, Homestead, PA, in the fall of 1969. Believe it or not, I'm one of them.

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This past Friday, November 15, marked the start of my 23rd year of residence here at Dr. Barkes' 3-D House of Shedding Fur and Domestic Bliss, which has, since those halcyon days of the early 90s, sheltered scores of fish, eleven dogs, four cats, and three pairs of children, grandchildren, and spouses. And that's just the interior.

Positioned as we are next a wooded area bordering a 3,000 acre county park, there's an endless parade of indigenous fauna. They effortlessly ignore the fence surrounding the back yard as they go about their daily routines. Some actively reside within its confines. I see deer almost daily, and groundhogs, rabbits, chipmunks, squirrels, and skunks from April through November.

Surprisingly, I had never encountered a raccoon until last week. It did not end well.

The dogs were frantically barking at the far end of the yard. They had the poor little fella surrounded.

When you see a raccoon during the day, there's something amiss. This guy was, fortunately, sitting quietly and not responding to the two adult shelties and one shih tzu puppy surrounding him. I got the dogs back into the house and quickly checked them out. They had no bite marks or scratches, which was a relief. While they all are current on their rabies vaccinations, they would still have had to be quarantined if they had been bitten. Relieved, I called the township and within ten minutes a personable South Park police officer arrived.

"This doesn't look good," the officer said as we approached the animal. "A healthy raccoon would run away from us." He picked up a fallen branch and gently poked the raccoon in the side. No reaction. The officer sighed, took out his can of pepper spray, and delivered a short blast. The raccoon slowly turned his back to us, but otherwise didn't move.

"Do you have a couple plastic garbage bags and a shovel?" he asked. I nodded. "Please get them."

I walked back up the yard. Halfway to the house, I heard the discharge. I returned and the officer bagged the small, inert form. It was clean shot at point blank range. The little guy hadn't felt a thing.

It was a series of firsts: first raccoon, first police officer in the back yard, first firearm on the property. The first, and, I sincerely hope, the last.

Vaya con Dios, pequeño mapache.


Categories: Animals, Cleaning off the desktop, Dogs, Miscellany


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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon
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Published Monday, November 04, 2013 @ 6:39 AM EST
Nov 04 2013

(Originally published November 4, 2002)

Hobbes came home yesterday.

More precisely, our late feline's cremated remains were delivered to my unsuspecting wife, who received a telephone call from the nice lady at Backyard Burials a scant 30 minutes prior to his arrival.

Hobbes' true pedigree had never been firmly established. He had been harvested from a litter of feisty farm kittens of various flavors. We surmised a good percentage of his lineage was Maine Coon; a Mostly Maine Coon, if you will.

He was a big fella, 16 pounds, even in declining health. He was various shades of orange with a few swirls of white, the color depending on his current degree of shedding or attitude toward personal hygiene.

His gargantuan skull bore the distinctive dark "M" above his forehead, which I jokingly said stood for "moron." His temperament matched the breed's description: a big, gentle, good-natured goof. He had a high-pitched, trilling voice that was consistent with Maine Coons and totally out of character for a creature of his impressive bulk. Think of a feline Mike Tyson, and you'll get the effect.

My then pre-teen daughter Sara named him after the stuffed tiger in Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes comic strip. I always believed the moniker was more accurately a nod to the English philosopher. The cat was a living example of Thomas Hobbes' theory of materialism: people (and, apparently, big goofy house cats) are motivated by appetite and aversion. Hobbes the cat demonstrated this on a daily basis. It became a family game to place a tempting morsel near an object that frightened him, to watch his reactions as his "fear/food" calculator kicked in, and to wager whether his innate gluttony would overcome his intrinsic cowardice.

Like most house cats, Hobbes really had no useful function in our household, other than to use the white wall to wall carpeting as a canvas for his prodigious hairball output and to generate carbon dioxide for the house plants. He could have been the prototype for Star Trek's tribbles. Like the fictional creatures, he was warm and furry, semi-mobile, possessed a ravenous appetite and made purring noises that engendered a feeling of serenity in the humans around him.

Hobbes was a karmic grounding rod, especially in his later years. He was always serene, almost Buddha-like, dozing in the sun, intently watching the dust motes float by. Dogs can sense emotional turmoil and, in response, express empathy and concern. They're reflectors of anxiety. Express anxiety in the presence of a dog and you have an anxious dog. Hobbes was an angst heat sink. You could feel the distress dissipate as you petted him, his aura of imperturbable calmness surrounding you.

While we received his ashes yesterday, Hobbes departed over a month ago. The cremation of animals doesn't seem to warrant the same sense of urgency as human dissolution. There are no wakes to hold, no religious ceremonies to conduct. Indeed, many claim there are no animals in the afterlife.

I once got into an discussion with a minister about the seeming exclusion of non-humans from Paradise. I pointed out that in the Book of Revelation, the apostle John says "Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse."Revelation also states "the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean." Which indicates to me that not only are there animals in heaven, they're really snazzy dressers. (One could argue that if John had his vision today, he would see Humvees instead of palominos. But I'll leave this exercise in operational semantics to the Left Behind folks.)

Of course, the real question here is: do animals have immortal souls? Pope John Paul II said in 1990 that "animals possess a soul and men must love and feel solidarity with our smaller brethren"; that all animals are "fruit of the creative action of the Holy Spirit and merit respect" and are "as near to God as men are." The Reverend Billy Graham sort of sidestepped the issue by stating "God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there."

***

It was a very stressful time. Sara was dealing with severe morning sickness and emotionally wasn't up to it. Pam was recovering from her bypass surgery and couldn't be alone, so Doug had to stay at home with her.

It was just me, sitting in the small examination room, waiting for them to return with Hobbes and the IV apparatus. I desperately wished Doug or Sara was there. Their presence would have switched me into Dad Mode, where the neurons and synapses arrange themselves in a way that causes me to become the gruff but sensitive old curmudgeon who provides emotional support and words of sage advice.

Instead, it was just me. The guy who cries at the end of Field of Dreams. The fool who was scarred for life by Old Yeller. The idiot who has to leave the room when Emergency Vets is on. The sap whose last act before filing for bankruptcy was sending a check to the local no-kill shelter.

The doctor returned with Hobbes, who was his normal placid self. Only the slightly labored breathing belied his condition but, as always, he maintained his ineffable cockeyed equanimity. He studiously ignored the hideous, lethal device attached to his leg. Decorum demanded it.

He sat sphinx-like, front legs outstretched. He opened his eyes, focused them with some effort, became aware of my presence. He emitted that ridiculous girlish chirp of his. It was a sound he reserved for those rare instances in which he felt it necessary to summon me to witness an event of tremendous import. His last great discovery was that dry cat food batted into a cold air return would cause the furnace's electrostatic air cleaner to make an amazing zapping sound.

I believe he sensed he was on the threshold of an even more significant revelation.

I knelt down, level with his ears, and softly told him what a good Hobbers he was. I put one hand across his front legs and scratched his neck.

His head slowly pointed upwards and he sniffed the air. He made that goofy smile of his, then opened his eyes and looked into mine.

He rested his head on my hand. I focused on that big stupid "M" on his forehead, but peripherally I was aware of the plunger slowly sinking into the barrel, fluids flowing in clear plastic tubes.

Hobbes relaxed. He leaned against me, closed his eyes again, and began purring. He didn't stop until the syringe was empty.

I don't know what Heaven looks like. But I know it sounds like the purring of a mostly Maine Coon.


Categories: Animals, Cats, KGB Family


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There are no unicorns.
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Published Tuesday, October 08, 2013 @ 9:36 AM EDT
Oct 08 2013

But baby pigeons do exist.


Categories: Animals


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Bunny dash
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Published Monday, July 29, 2013 @ 3:34 AM EDT
Jul 29 2013

(YouTube video: Bunny Dash)

It's probably because 15-year-old Lucy's vision, hearing, and sense of smell aren't what they used to be, but I like to think she doesn't mind sharing the yard with the bunny that lives in the tallgrass stand. After the rabbit ran away, Lucy took no notice; she just continued her twice daily inspection of the back yard and reported in that everything was fine, and that it was time for me to carry her upstairs to watch television on the couch, and to wait for her 9 pm cheese-and-phenobarbital treat.


Categories: Animals, Dogs, Video, YouTube


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I really need to cut the grass.
(permalink)

Published Monday, July 01, 2013 @ 9:24 AM EDT
Jul 01 2013

"Hey, Dad! I think I found Jimmy Hoffa!"


Categories: Animals, Dogs, KGB


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Current events
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Published Saturday, June 29, 2013 @ 12:36 AM EDT
Jun 29 2013

The Family Research Council is either adorably oblivious,
or their PR outfit is just plain evil.


Variations on a theme:




When this man smiles, a fairy dies:


Speaking of smiles:


(YouTube video: formerly captive ducks see water for the first time).


Categories: Animals, Cartoons, Church and State, Politics, Religion, Supreme Court, The New Yorker, Video, YouTube


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Photo of the day
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Published Sunday, June 23, 2013 @ 9:43 AM EDT
Jun 23 2013

Fascinating. Tell me more about "peanuts" in "jars."

(Original photo by Külli Kittus)


Categories: Animals, Photo of the day


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Good job?
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Published Wednesday, June 19, 2013 @ 11:52 AM EDT
Jun 19 2013

That phrase wasn't my first choice.


Categories: Animals, Video, WTF?


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Kaiser
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Published Tuesday, June 04, 2013 @ 9:39 AM EDT
Jun 04 2013

Kaiser, a 30 month old German Shepherd canine officer for the Plymouth, Massachusetts Police Department, was euthanized last Friday due to the ravaging effects of severe liver and kidney disease.

Kaiser's handler, Jamie LeBretton, had announced last Wednesday that his partner had retired from the force that day. He sadly noted a ceremony at Angel View Pet Cemetery would follow Kaiser's final trip to the Court Street Animal Hospital.

Honor guard

Kaiser was met by a silent, respectful group of his fellow officers, who stood at attention and saluted him as he followed his partner and friend.

Partners

"I feel privileged to have had a front row seat to witness his bravery and heroic actions while serving the people of Plymouth and my brothers and sisters in blue," Officer LeBretton said. "Although his career was short-lived, he made a huge impact that will never be forgotten."

The Plymouth Police Department depends upon contributions from the public to operate and maintain its K-9 unit. Please consider making a donation online here, or send a check to:

Plymouth Police Working Dog Foundation
20 Long Pond Road
Plymouth MA 02360
Attn: Marc Higgins

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The fidelity of a Dog is a precious gift, demanding no less binding moral responsibilities than the friendship of a Human Being. The bond with a True Dog is as lasting as the ties of this Earth will ever be.
-Konrad Lorenz

Sources: Top photo, Old Colony Memorial on Facebook. Bottom photo, Plymouth Police Working Dog Foundation. Facebook page. (Photos were cropped and processed for this web page's display requirements).


Categories: Animals, Dogs, Passages


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Or maybe platypi?
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Published Thursday, May 30, 2013 @ 10:22 AM EDT
May 30 2013

Platipi.


Categories: Animals, Photo of the day, WTF?


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Photo of the day
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Published Tuesday, May 28, 2013 @ 7:31 AM EDT
May 28 2013

Yes, there is.

"There's something behind me, isn't there?"


Categories: Animals, Photo of the day


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A case of the Mondays
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Published Monday, March 25, 2013 @ 6:24 AM EDT
Mar 25 2013

No matter how bad your Monday morning is, odds are you didn't have to wade through belly-deep snow in order to pee. There's about five inches of snow out there now and it's still coming down. Late March snows really aren't that unusual, and we get an average of 1.5" in April. And on May 9, 1966, we got 3.1 inches. So quit complaining.


Categories: Animals, Dogs, Weather


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Sorry.
(permalink)

Published Sunday, March 24, 2013 @ 12:21 AM EDT
Mar 24 2013

Couldn't resist.


Categories: Animals, Cats, Photo of the day, The Beatles, WTF?


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Stoned, but hanging in there
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Published Wednesday, March 06, 2013 @ 4:29 AM EST
Mar 06 2013

The first day of seizure-inhibiting phenobarbital treatment really zonked her out, and she's still kinda stoned and shaky, but Lucy ate all her breakfast, had a long drink of water, did her business, and made her daily inspection of the back yard.

I'm not sure she even realized it snowed last night but hey, haven't we all had mornings like that?

The other two dogs and the two cats spent the night with me in my office. Lucy was the only one who really got any sleep. The lesser mammals are now all unconscious under my desk, while I have to spend the next eight to ten hours writing a MacroSPITBOL function definition to create, name, and populate multiple table structures at runtime.

That phenobarb is looking mighty attractive...


Categories: Animals, Cats, Dogs, KGB Family, Photo of the day


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Sigh.
(permalink)

Published Tuesday, March 05, 2013 @ 6:37 AM EST
Mar 05 2013

Lady Lucia (Lucy), the eldest of our Shelties, turned 15 last month. We've been wincing for the past year or so, wondering where the Geriatric Wheel of Misfortune would stop.

And the "winner" is- focal seizures. She started having 30-second episodes every 15 minutes or so last night.

She appears to be responding well to the anti-seizure medication. We'll probably be bringing her home today.

Fortunately, being an old curmudgeon has its benefits. I'm familiar with involuntary snarling and drooling.

And Lucy is one tough little broad. She keeps all the lesser mammals in line around here, and all she asks in return is to spend the evenings snoozing next to me on the couch.

The only difference tonight will be that we'll both be on meds.


Categories: Animals, Dogs, KGB Family


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Meme of the day
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Published Wednesday, February 06, 2013 @ 7:20 AM EST
Feb 06 2013


Categories: Animals, Dogs, Meme of the day


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Mixed loyalties
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Published Thursday, January 31, 2013 @ 1:56 PM EST
Jan 31 2013


Categories: Animals, WTF?


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It's not polite to stare
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Published Saturday, January 12, 2013 @ 8:06 AM EST
Jan 12 2013

It's also probably not safe. Scrape the gray matter off the wall behind you, go back out to the kitchen, and get yourself another cup of coffee. Then go check out Reddit. I hear there's some good stuff over there.


Categories: Animals, Cats, Photo of the day, WTF?


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Merry Christmas, my ass.
(permalink)

Published Thursday, December 13, 2012 @ 9:57 AM EST
Dec 13 2012

Well, not mine, really. Gabriel is one of the animals helped by Janice Wolf at Rocky Ridge Refuge. Help them out by ordering a 2013 calendar online, or by sending $16 ($20 international) to:

Rocky Ridge Refuge
Janice Wolf
P.O. Box 105
Midway, Ar. 72651

Tell her you want the humor calendar. Trust me.


Categories: Animals, Rocky Ridge Refuge


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Okay then...
(permalink)

Published Sunday, November 11, 2012 @ 9:52 AM EST
Nov 11 2012


Categories: Animals, Elections, Photo of the day


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Grandpa got run over by a reindeer
(permalink)

Published Monday, November 05, 2012 @ 6:01 AM EST
Nov 05 2012

More accurately, a regular deer.

I let the dogs out Friday night and about a minute later heard them barking frantically.

I ran out to the back yard, but couldn't see them; the sound was coming from behind a stand of seven foot tallgrass that obscured my view. As I got nearer, I saw a flash of brown and white, much larger than a Sheltie, headed directly at me at high speed.

I started turning to get out of the way, but wasn't fast enough- the doe collided with me at full speed. Strictly on the basis of mass, I should have been the winner- but she was going full tilt bozo and delivered a substantial if glancing blow as she shot past me and bounded over the fence.

I was spun in a vector and at a velocity totally inappropriate for someone of my age and decrepitude. To my credit, I somehow managed to stay on my feet. My immediate feeling was relief (my body had not yet determined the precise location and intensity of the pain it was going to begin relentlessly transmitting to my brain).

Then I looked down.

There stood three Shetland sheepdogs with expressions ranging from pity to disgust. I could almost hear their disparaging comments concerning my absymal herding abilities. "We chased it right to you, Dad. You're bigger! You have opposable thumbs! You let it go right by you! We were looking forward to something other than dry kibble!"

The ring of pain pulsing around my pelvic girdle can be numbed with NSAIDs. But it's going to take a lot of pizza crusts slipped under the table to regain my true alpha standing with the rest of the pack.

At least they didn't tell the cats.


Categories: Animals, Dogs, KGB


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Photo of the day
(permalink)

Published Friday, October 19, 2012 @ 12:13 AM EDT
Oct 19 2012

You've heard of the wolf spider, but how about the spider wolf?


Categories: Animals, Dogs, Holidays, Photo of the day, WTF?


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Ah. This explains it...
(permalink)

Published Monday, October 15, 2012 @ 4:55 AM EDT
Oct 15 2012


Categories: Animals, Cats, Photo of the day, Science


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Photo of the day for The Snake's Mommy...
(permalink)

Published Saturday, October 13, 2012 @ 5:02 PM EDT
Oct 13 2012

The rare Fosse Constrictor. You're welcome.


Categories: Animals, Photo of the day


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Quote of the day
(permalink)

Published Sunday, September 16, 2012 @ 9:18 AM EDT
Sep 16 2012

Faceboook prototype edition


Categories: Animals, Cats, Facebook, Quotes of the day


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End of the week clearance
(permalink)

Published Saturday, September 01, 2012 @ 8:55 AM EDT
Sep 01 2012

Stuff that caught my eye this week:

Of course, the new Eastwood meme:

Other politics:

Family:


My son Doug and my daughter-in-law Angela

Cute animals:

Family and cute animals::


Bella keeps a stiff upper lip as she prepares to watch my granddaughter Leanna depart for the first day of fourth grade.

Miscellany:


The Jet Propulsion Laboratory Curiosity Mars Lander Team visits the cast of The Big Bang Theory:


Categories: Animals, Barack Obama, Clint Eastwood, Dogs, Hypocrisy, KGB Family, Mitt Romney, NASA, Politics, WTF?


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Photo of the day
(permalink)

Published Friday, August 17, 2012 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Aug 17 2012


Categories: Animals, Cats, Photo of the day


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Have a happy Independence Day
(permalink)

Published Wednesday, July 04, 2012 @ 9:10 AM EDT
Jul 04 2012

Put on a hat. Run around in the grass. Pursue happiness.


Categories: Animals, Dogs, Holidays, Photo of the day


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Photo of the day
(permalink)

Published Saturday, June 09, 2012 @ 12:18 PM EDT
Jun 09 2012


Categories: Animals, Dogs, Photo of the day


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Delusion of grandeur
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Published Tuesday, May 15, 2012 @ 1:20 AM EDT
May 15 2012

Instinct works best when your goals are realistic.


Categories: Animals, Photo of the day, WTF?


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Thanks...
(permalink)

Published Saturday, May 12, 2012 @ 4:01 AM EDT
May 12 2012

... to all the volunteers who give their time, love and compassion to shelter animals.
(via Melanie Agnello)


Categories: Animals, Dogs, Photo of the day


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Ouch.
(permalink)

Published Thursday, May 10, 2012 @ 10:24 PM EDT
May 10 2012


Categories: Animals, Snrk


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Close order napping drill
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Published Tuesday, March 06, 2012 @ 12:19 AM EST
Mar 06 2012

The cat runs a tight ship.


Categories: Animals, Cats, Dogs, KGB Family


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Photo of the day
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Published Saturday, February 18, 2012 @ 12:11 AM EST
Feb 18 2012

"I can't hear you. I have a cat on my head."


Categories: Animals, Cats, Dogs, Photo of the day


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Quote of the day
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Published Monday, February 06, 2012 @ 12:01 AM EST
Feb 06 2012

"If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men that who will deal likewise with their fellow men."
-St Francis of Assisi


Categories: Animals, Dogs, Photo of the day, Quotes of the day


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Superbowl!
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Published Sunday, February 05, 2012 @ 12:15 AM EST
Feb 05 2012


Categories: Animals


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Photo of the day
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Published Saturday, November 12, 2011 @ 6:09 AM EST
Nov 12 2011

"The Department of Education,
the Department of Commerce,
and... uh... oops."
-Rick Perry


Categories: Animals, Photo of the day


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Damage control
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Published Monday, October 31, 2011 @ 11:46 PM EDT
Oct 31 2011

Back in the halcyon, pre-Internet days of KGB Consulting, my office had a half dozen computer systems, over a dozen telephone lines, the usual collection of office equipment, and a couple hundred feet of various phone and low-voltage control cabling stuffed above the suspended ceiling.

Since the business folded back in 2000, I only need two "work" systems. I disconnected the Verizon phone service five years ago, when I called to report a service outage at 10 am and was told all their representatives were busy and to call back later. So much for the superior reliability of landlines. I switched to Vonage, cut my phone bill in half, and now just have to deal with Comcast for all my telecommunications services. (I complain about Comcast but, truth be told, aside from their crappy DVRs, their performance has been exemplary, at least from a signal standpoint. In the past 16 months I can't remember a single outage.)

But I digress.

Because of the literally hundreds of feet of legacy cabling stuffed in the ceiling above my head, I was never able to reconfigure my office the way I really wanted. So I decided to quit procrastinating, pull everything down, and rewire the entire enchilada.

As the picture above shows, my office now looks like the bridge of the U.S.S. Reliant following the Enterprise's sneak attack in Star Trek II.

I'm about 20% through. Misty, my unofficial liaison to the lower mammals in the household, has stayed with me through the ordeal. The other pups and the cats come down only when nature calls. They nervously glance upward at the ceiling, then hurry through to the safety of the back door or litter box. I keep telling them the sagging lines are low-voltage signal cables and not ac power runs, but I don't think they believe me.

The goal is to get this done by the end of the week, which is probably doable with a couple late nights after work.

Provided I can teach Misty how to wire the mini-PBX.


Categories: Animals, Cats, Dogs, KGB, Star Trek


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Ready for work
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Published Tuesday, October 25, 2011 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Oct 25 2011

It helps to have a fully-equipped workspace.


Categories: Animals, Dogs, Photo of the day


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Photo of the day
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Published Wednesday, October 19, 2011 @ 12:18 AM EDT
Oct 19 2011


Categories: Animals, Dogs, Photo of the day


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Going home
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Published Saturday, October 01, 2011 @ 8:44 AM EDT
Oct 01 2011

(YouTube video: "Going Home: Finding Peace When Pets Die)

By now you must know there is always a goodbye hovering in the shadow of a dog. We are never here for long, or for long enough. We were never meant to share all of your life, only to mark its passages. We come and we go. We come when we are needed; we leave when it is time. Death is necessary; it defines life. I will see you again. I will watch over you. I hope in your grief and loneliness, that you will consider how sad it would have been, had we not had this time together; not had the chance to give each other so much. I do not mourn or grieve. But I will miss standing beside you, bound together on our walk through life. Even as I know, there is a long line of others waiting to take my place and stand with you. Thank you. It was nothing but a gift.

Remembering Deja, Sasha, Quark, and Beanie.


Categories: Animals, Cats, Dogs, Video, YouTube


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Déjà
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Published Sunday, September 18, 2011 @ 7:04 AM EDT
Sep 18 2011

Déjà
February 15, 1997 - September 18, 2011

She possessed beauty without vanity;
dignity without pretentiousness;
intelligence without conceit;
strength without insolence;
loyalty without condition;
courage without ferocity;
love without reservation;
the virtues of humans
without their vices.

(Adapted from Lord Byron's epitaph for his dog)


Categories: Animals, Dogs, KGB Family, Passages


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Jazz for cows
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Published Thursday, September 15, 2011 @ 3:47 PM EDT
Sep 15 2011

Needs more cowbell.


Categories: Animals, Music, Video, YouTube


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Political jokes of the week
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Published Saturday, September 10, 2011 @ 6:54 AM EDT
Sep 10 2011

Recent late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog on About.com.

(YouTube video: The Republican debate in 45 seconds.)

The Republican presidential candidates will have a debate at the Reagan Library. They were going to have it at the George W. Bush Library but they couldn't fit all eight of them in the bouncy house.
-Conan O'Brien

People are saying that Rick Perry is really tough because he has executed over 200 people. And that was just while he was on vacation in Florida.
-Conan O'Brien

The oil industry said if they were allowed to drill more, they could create over a million new jobs. Of course most of those jobs would be cleaning oil off ducks.
-Conan O'Brien

To give an idea of how bad the economy is, the NFL had to borrow the quarter for the coin toss from China. And they want it back.
-Conan O'Brien

In Iowa Sarah Palin ran a half marathon and came in second place. Of course no one saw her do it, because she refused to tell anyone she was running.
-Conan O'Brien

Dick Cheney says Hillary Clinton would have made a better president than Barack Obama. Then he got back in his coffin.
-David Letterman

The Republican debate was on earlier tonight. Side effects may include nausea, vomiting and sexual dysfunction.
-David Letterman

Michele Bachmann is dropping rapidly in the polls. If she loses three more points she goes on 'Dancing with the Stars.'
-David Letterman

Homeland Security is saying you may no longer have to remove your shoes when you fly. Welcome to the golden age of travel. I just hope they don’t stop wanding my inner thighs.
-David Letterman

During the Republican debate, every time they mentioned Ronald Reagan, I ate a jelly bean. And now I have type two diabetes.
-Jimmy Kimmel

This is the first debate Rick Perry has participated in since he announced his candidacy. Perry is a mix between George W. Bush and Yosemite W. Sam.
-Jimmy Kimmel

Sarah Palin ran an unannounced half marathon in Iowa. Wait, did she run a half marathon or run half a marathon and quit? Is there anything Sarah Palin can’t do half of?
-Jimmy Kimmel

The Republican debate got pretty heated. They spent most of their time arguing over who God called first.
-Jay Leno

Michele Bachmann said that if she is elected president, she would consider eliminating the Department of Education because "the states could do a gooder job."
-Jay Leno

Ford is building a new plant that will create 5,000 jobs in India. Or as Obama put it, "You've got to be kidding me!"
–Jimmy Fallon

Sunday is the 10th anniversary of 9/11, which means it can only be another five years before we discover Saddam Hussein’s WMDs.
-Stephen Colbert


Categories: Animals, Craig Ferguson, Political Jokes of the Week, Stephen Colbert, WTF?


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Happy birthday
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Published Tuesday, August 23, 2011 @ 7:22 AM EDT
Aug 23 2011

Misty is 12 today. She's the elegant, Lauren Bacall-ish member of our Sheltie pack. Time for a belly rub and a piece of toast...


Categories: Animals, Dogs, KGB Family


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Photo of the day
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Published Sunday, August 14, 2011 @ 12:22 AM EDT
Aug 14 2011

Oh noes! We iz out of coffee!!


Categories: Animals, Dogs, Photo of the day


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The Little Mermaid
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Published Friday, July 22, 2011 @ 1:56 PM EDT
Jul 22 2011

Well, really, my granddaughter Leanna and her dog, Bella. The resemblance is striking, though. Next time I see her, I'm going to check for fins.


Categories: Animals, Dogs, KGB Family, Photo of the day


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Photo of the day
(permalink)

Published Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Jul 16 2011

Badgers? We don't need no more steenkin' badgers!


Categories: Animals, Photo of the day, WTF?


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Unstable female, cats, and AutoTune
(permalink)

Published Friday, July 08, 2011 @ 12:04 AM EDT
Jul 08 2011

This is awesome on so many levels.

(Autotuned version of eHarmony cat lady dating video.)


Categories: Animals, Cats, Music, Video, WTF?, YouTube


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