A guy walks into a psychologist's convention with a banana in his pocket.
When asked about the significance of this he says: well,they were all out
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for
A psychologist said to me, there are only two important questions you
have to ask yourself. What do you really feel? And, what do you really
want? If you can answer those two, you probably can leave your neuroses
A psychopath is someone who enjoys hurting people. A sociopath is
someone who enjoys controlling people. An abusive spouse is the best of
A wonderful discovery, psychoanalysis. Makes quite simple people feel
After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't
Although both the natural and moral sciences seek to understand the
objects of their observation, in natural science the purpose of this is
to be able to control them better, whereas in moral science it is, or
ought to be, to be better able to leave them alone. The morally proper
aim of psychology, then, is self-control.
Although it was popular in the rest of the world, 'Psycho' was banned in
France for fear it might inspire copycat showers.
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a
violent psychopath who knows where you live.
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
As a whole part of psychological education it needs to be remembered
that a neurosis can be valuable; also that adjustment to a sick and
insane environment is of itself not health but sickness and insanity.
Behavioral psychology is the science of pulling habits out of rats.
Death is psychosomatic.
Doubt is to certainty as neurosis is to psychosis. The neurotic is in
doubt and has fears about persons and things; the psychotic has
convictions and makes claims about them. In short, the neurotic has
problems, the psychotic has solutions.
Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking
around under your hood with a giant foam 'We're #1' finger.
Every modern male has, lying at the bottom of his psyche, a large,
primitive being covered with hair down to his feet.
Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the
For too long a time- for half a century, in fact- psychiatry tried to
interpret the human mind merely as a mechanism, and consequently the
therapy of mental disease merely in terms of technique. I believe this
dream has been dreamt out. What now begins to loom on the horizon is not
psychologized medicine but rather those of human psychiatry.
Half a psychiatrist's patients see him because they are married- the
other half because they're not.
-Arnold H. Glasow
Human beings seem to be far more autonomous and self-governed than
modern psychological theory allows for.
I can't help believing that these things that come from the subconscious
mind have a sort of truth to them. It may not be a scientific truth, but
it's psychological truth.
I cannot conceive how anybody in his right mind should go to a
I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple
reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.
I don't believe in psychology. I believe in good moves.
I don't have any pet peeves. I have major, psychotic hatreds.
I don't need a psychiatrist. I'm Catholic.
I sent my desk calendar to a psychiatrist. The schedule was insane.
I spent my whole life helping my mother carry around her psychic trunks
like a bitter bellhop. So a great load was lifted when she died, and my
life was much easier.
I studied criminology, sociology, deviant psychology, abnormal
psychology, and went into show business.
I think that you cannot eliminate religion from the psyche of mankind.
If you suppress it in one form, it merely re-emerges in another form.
You can not believe in God, but you still have to believe in something
that gives meaning to your life, and shapes your sense of the world.
Such a belief is religious.
I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state appointed
psychiatrist is our 'friend.'
I think when I went to psychoanalysis, I actually believed that people
said what they meant. This was my whole problem.
If the psychic energies of the average mass of people watching a
football game or a musical comedy could be diverted into the rational
channels of a freedom movement, they would be invincible.
If you agree with me on 9 out of 12 issues, vote for me. If you agree
with me on 12 out of 12 issues, see a psychiatrist.
If you want to be a psychological novelist and write about human beings,
the best thing you can do is to keep a pair of cats.
If you're gay and you can't hold hands, or you're black and you can't
catch a taxi, or you're a woman and you can't go into the park, you are
aware there's a menace. That's costly on a psychic level. The world
should be striving to make all its members secure.
In America all too few blows are struck into flesh. We kill the spirit
here, we are experts at that. We use psychic bullets and kill each other
cell by cell.
Intelligence is one of the greatest human gifts. But all too often a
search for knowledge drives out the search for love. This is something
else I've discovered for myself very recently. I present it to you as a
hypothesis: Intelligence without the ability to give and receive
affection leads to mental and moral breakdown, to neurosis, and possibly
even psychosis. And I say that the mind absorbed in and involved in
itself as a self-centered end, to the exclusion of human relationships,
can only lead to violence and pain.
It is characteristic of all movements and crusades that the psychopathic
element rises to the top.
It is curious how an age of public self-revelation, and of the use of
psychological jargon, should also be an age when self-examination is
It is doubtless true that religion has been the world's psychiatrist
throughout the centuries.
It is very comforting to believe that leaders who do terrible things
are, in fact, mad. That way, all we have to do is make sure we don't put
psychotics in high places and we've got the problem solved.
It's disheartening to know that you live in a country that's just
teeming with semi-literate, mediocre psychos.
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.
Watterson (From the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes)
It's true I don't want to join the Army or turn lathes in precision
parts factories, I'm nearsighted and psychopathic anyway. America I'm
putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.
Legislators and revolutionaries who promise equality and liberty at the
same time are either psychopaths or mountebanks.
Lord, let me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.
My unconscious knows more about the consciousness of the psychologist
than his consciousness knows about my unconscious.
Neurotic means he's not as sensible as I am, and psychotic means he's
even worse than my brother-in-law.
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother
Never underestimate the power of psychosis.
No man is a hero to his wife's psychiatrist.
No psychic value can disappear without being replaced by another of
No very sharp line can be drawn between social psychology and individual
-George Herbert Mead
Not all who hesitate are lost. The psyche has many secrets in reserve.
And these are not disclosed unless required.
Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment,
and especially on their children, than the unlived lives of the parents.
One of the primary tests of the mood of a society at any given time is
whether its comfortable people tend to identify, psychologically, with
the power and achievements of the very successful or with the needs and
sufferings of the underprivileged.
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.
Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy.
Personality problems may sometimes be loud protests against the crushing
of one's psychological bones, of one's true inner nature.
Powerful men in particular suffer from the delusion that human beings
have no memories. I would go so far as to say that the distinguishing
trait of powerful men is the psychotic certainty that people forget acts
of infamy as easily as their parents' birth.
Psychiatrists classify a person as neurotic if he suffers from his
problems in living, and as psychotic if he makes others suffer.
Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd.
Psychoanalysis is for hysterical pathological cases, not for silly rich
American women who should be learning to darn socks.
Psychoanalysis is in essence a cure through love.
Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which regards itself as
Psychoanalysis pretends to investigate the Unconscious. The Unconscious
by definition is what you are not conscious of. But the Analysts already
know what's in it. They should, because they put it all in beforehand.
It's like an Easter Egg hunt.
Psychoanalysts are not occupied with the minds of their patients; they
do not believe in the mind but in a cerebral intestine.
Psychoanalysts seem to be long on information and short on application.
Psychologists have hitherto failed to realize that imagination is a
necessary ingredient of perception itself.
Psychology is as unnecessary as directions for using poison.
Psychology is as useless as directions for using poison.
Psychotherapy conquered what is in effect the human condition by
annexing it in its entirety to the medical profession.
Psychotherapy is the theory that the patient will probably get well
anyhow and is certainly a damn fool.
Psychotics are consistently inconsistent. The essence of sanity is to be
Psychotics build castles in the air. Neurotics live in them. And
psychiatrists collect the rent.
Race has been much more devastating, but there's one psychological
factor (that's different): Very few black kids have ever had to worry
about telling their parents that they were black.
Recognizing the structure of your psychology doesn't mean that you can
easily rebuild it.
Since this is the age of science, not religion, psychiatrists are our
rabbis, heroin is our pork, and the addict is the unclean person.
So long as men denounce each other as mentally sick (homosexual,
addicted, insane, and so forth)- so that the madman can always be
considered the Other, never the Self- mental illness will remain an
easily exploitable concept, and Coercive Psychiatry a flourishing
So many of the ideas on which our psychologists base their beliefs about
human intelligence, memory, and learning are all wishful thinking.
Social psychology is especially interested in the effect which the
social group has in the determination of the experience and conduct of
the individual member.
-George Herbert Mead
Southerners have a genius for psychological alchemy. If something
intolerable simply cannot be changed, driven away or shot they will not
only tolerate it but take pride in it as well.
Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about
it, as well as contributing to the need for it.
The biggest difference between the psychiatrist and the patient is that
the psychiatrist has learned how to live with it.
The business of psychology is to tell us what actually goes on in the
mind. It cannot possibly tell us whether the beliefs are true or false.
The egg cream is psychologically the opposite of circumcision. It
pleasurably reaffirms your Jewishness.
The madness of depression is, generally speaking, the antithesis of
violence. It is a storm indeed, but a storm of murk. Soon evident are
the slowed-down responses, near paralysis, psychic energy throttled back
close to zero. Ultimately, the body is affected and feels sapped,
The power of authority is never more subtle and effective than when it
produces a psychological 'atmosphere' or 'climate' favorable to the life
of certain modes of belief, unfavorable, and even fatal, to the life of
-Arthur James Balfour
The principal benefit acting has accorded me is the money to pay for my
The psychologist who famously remarked that chastity was the rarest of
all sexual perversions might have added that Religion was the most
-Arthur C. Clarke
The refusal of free inquiry derives from an awareness of the fragility
of the basis of religious faith; and since certainty is psychologically
preferable to truth, the former often being willfully mistaken for the
latter, anything that threatens certainty is anathematized with fury.
The Religious Right care more about what goes on before birth and after
death than what happens in between. And that by any definition, is a
The study of crippled, stunted, immature, and unhealthy specimens can
yield only a cripple psychology and a cripple philosophy. The study of
self-actualizing people must be the basis for a more universal science
The suppression of natural sexual gratification leads to various kinds
of substitute gratifications. Natural aggression, for example, becomes
brutal sadism which then is an essential mass-psychological factor in
The truth of faith cannot be confirmed by latest physical or biological
or psychological discoveries- as it cannot be denied by them.
There are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot
easily be duplicated by a normal kindly family man who just comes in to
work every day and has a job to do.
There has always been violence in art. There is violence in the Bible,
violence in Homer, violence in Shakespeare, and many psychiatrists
believe that it serves as a catharsis rather than a model.
There is an entire branch of psychology specializing in children who
will not join the common madness.
There is an important idea in psychology: The 'just world theory,' which
says that it is very important for us to convince ourselves that the
world is just and things happen for a reason. That there is some
elemental fairness in everything, which creates the illusion of justice.
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
There is no psychology; there is only biography and autobiography.
This is not a psychotic episode. This is a cleansing moment of clarity.
This shattering recognition of our mortality is at the root of far more
mental illness than I suspect even psychiatrists are aware.
To be able to destroy with good conscience, to be able to behave badly
and call your bad behavior 'righteous indignation'- this is the height
of psychological luxury, the most delicious of moral treats.
Two people can see the same thing, disagree, and yet both be right. It's
not logical; it's psychological.
We exist on several different planes, and when we said nothing had any
reason we were referring to the psychological and social plane.
We have psychologized like the insane, who aggravate their madness in
struggling to understand it.
When I believe, I am crazy. When I don't believe, I suffer psychotic
-Philip K. Dick
Write documentation as if it will be read by psychopaths who know where
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