KGB Report

Ben Hecht, Linus Pauling, Vincente Minnelli, Bugsy Siegel, Billie Bird, Zero Mostel, Charles Durning, Gavin MacLeod, Tommy Tune, Mario Andretti, Joe South, Frank Bonner, Brian Jones, Bubba Smith, Bernadette Peters, Mercedes Ruehl, Gilbert Gottfried, Robert Sean Leonard, and Douglas Earle Barkes, who is 34 today. He missed being a leap year baby- and sharing Superman's birthday- by just 15 minutes

Categories: KGB Family

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A TSUNAMI HAS BEEN GENERATED THAT COULD CAUSE DAMAGE ALONG COASTLINES OF ALL ISLANDS IN THE STATE OF HAWAII. URGENT ACTION SHOULD BE TAKEN TO PROTECT LIVES AND PROPERTY.

A TSUNAMI IS A SERIES OF LONG OCEAN WAVES. EACH INDIVIDUAL WAVE CREST CAN LAST 5 TO 15 MINUTES OR MORE AND EXTENSIVELY FLOOD COASTAL AREAS. THE DANGER CAN CONTINUE FOR MANY HOURS AFTER THE INITIAL WAVE AS SUBSEQUENT WAVES ARRIVE. TSUNAMI WAVE HEIGHTS CANNOT BE PREDICTED AND THE FIRST WAVE MAY NOT BE THE LARGEST. TSUNAMI WAVES EFFICIENTLY WRAP AROUND ISLANDS. ALL SHORES ARE AT RISK NO MATTER WHICH DIRECTION THEY FACE. THE TROUGH OF A TSUNAMI WAVE MAY TEMPORARILY EXPOSE THE SEAFLOOR BUT THE AREA WILL QUICKLY FLOOD AGAIN. EXTREMELY STRONG AND UNUSUAL NEARSHORE CURRENTS CAN ACCOMPANY A TSUNAMI. DEBRIS PICKED UP AND CARRIED BY A TSUNAMI AMPLIFIES ITS DESTRUCTIVE POWER. SIMULTANEOUS HIGH TIDES OR HIGH SURF CAN SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASE THE TSUNAMI HAZARD.

THE ESTIMATED ARRIVAL TIME IN HAWAII OF THE FIRST TSUNAMI WAVE IS

1119 AM HST SAT 27 FEB 2010

Categories: Tsunamis

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Categories: Photo of the day

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"We could set up a system where food was cheaper than it is right now if we just eliminated meat inspectors, and we eliminated any regulations on how food is distributed and how it's stored. I'll bet in terms of drug prices we would definitely reduce prescription drug prices if we didn't have a drug administration that makes sure that we test the drugs so that they don't kill us, but we don't do that."
-President Obama, explaining to Republican weasel Eric Cantor why government involvement in critical issues (like health care) isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Categories: Barack Obama, Politics

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Categories: Politics

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I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account.
-Conan O'Brien

Categories: Conan O'Brien, Quotes of the day, Twitter

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Categories: Barack Obama, Daily Show, Jon Stewart, Politics

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After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF."
-Phil Proctor

Categories: Quotes of the day

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Carl Anderson (February 27, 1945-February 23, 2004)

Categories: Carl Anderson, Jesus Christ Superstar, Music, Video, YouTube

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Oliver (William Oliver Swofford) February 22, 1945-February 12, 2000

Categories: Music, Oliver, Video, YouTube

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The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that in all energy exchanges, if no energy enters or leaves the system, the potential energy of the state will always be less than that of the initial state. (Entropy cannot be reversed.)

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that you don't talk about Thermodynamics.

Categories: Physics

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Barring allegations of steroid use, at this point Pope John Paul II's beatification looks pretty much assured.
-The Covert Comic

Categories: Covert Comic, Quotes of the day

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Bill Maher returns...

"...cult members always attribute all of their problems to one simple explanation. Now here's an amazing statistic. In a recent poll almost ninety percent of Tea Baggers said that they thought taxes had either gone up or stayed the same under Obama. Only two percent thought they went down. But the reality is taxes have gone down-- for ninety five percent of working families, taxes went down.

"Think about that. Only two percent of the people in a "movement" about taxes named after a tax revolt, have the slightest idea what's going on... with taxes.

"So, it would be easy to just mock, except that those who fall under the control of cults aren't necessarily weirdoes, they're victims. And we shouldn't forget that these people are our relatives, our neighbors and the folks at the next table in the restaurant. Especially if that restaurant is Hooters and it's Dollar Wing Wednesday."

Categories: Bill Maher, New Rules, Politics

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"Some paintings of former Fed chairman Alan Greenspan by artist Erin Crowe, which once fetched as much as $5,000 to $10,000 apiece, are now stashed by their owners in closets and under beds."
-Wall Street Journal

Categories: Alan Greenspan, Too Big To Fail, Wall Street Journal

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Categories: Conan O'Brien, TV, Video, YouTube

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Police say woman hit adult son with baseball bat
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Associated Press

A Charleroi woman has been charged with hitting her adult son with a Louisville Slugger after she allegedly came home drunk.

Forty-nine-year-old Linda Newstrom faces a preliminary hearing Feb. 25 on simple assault and other crimes in the Valentine's Day incident.

Charleroi police say Ms. Newstrom kicked her 21-year-old son Jeffrey out of the house then swung the bat at him as he gathered his belongings -- missing on the first two swings but connecting on a third.

Police say Ms. Newstrom claimed her son hit her but also acknowledged hitting him with the bat, saying, "I brought him into this world and I'll take him out of this world."

Categories: WTF?

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Categories: Cartoons, Cats, Weather

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It could be worse.

Categories: Weather

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I think I lost a contact.

That's as good as it's gonna get.

I said "retract," not "remove," you idiot.

You know, there's big money in kidneys, and this guy has two of 'em.

And what did you do before, Mrs. Bobbitt?

Is it supposed to do that?

Better not throw it out. They may need it at the inquest.

I wish I had a nice Chianti and some fava beans.

The pumpy thingie is making that noise again.

Get Sanji out of the crapper. This guy's waking up.

He already has a couple kids, right?

Is it supposed to be that color?

Neat. How long will it do that before it falls off?

Check his wallet. See if he's an organ donor.

"Accept this humble sacrifice, Oh Lord of Darkness."

Categories: Observations, WTF?

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Categories: Photo of the day

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Too bad the Chicago area only had two horrific natural phenomena the other day- a snowstorm and earthquake. Throw in a third, like a tornado, and the SyFy Channel could have had another one of their abysmal Saturday night movies: "Snowpocalypse: Earthquake and Cyclonic Doom!"

Categories: Observations, Weather

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If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
-Steven Wright

Categories: Quotes of the day, Weather

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Blizzard Warning for Fayette, PA
until 4 am EST, Thu., Feb. 11, 2010

Issued by The National Weather Service
Pittsburgh, PA
6:44 pm EST, Wed., Feb. 10, 2010

... BLIZZARD WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 4 AM EST THURSDAY...

A BLIZZARD WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 4 AM EST THURSDAY.

WIND SPEED IS EXPECTED TO INCREASE THROUGH THIS EVENING TO 20 TO 30 MPH WITH GUSTS AS HIGH AS 40 MPH INTO THE EARLY MORNING HOURS OF THURSDAY. SNOW SHOWERS WILL ALSO CONTINUE. THE COMBINATION OF WIND... SNOW... AND BLOWING SNOW WILL DROP VISIBILITY TO LESS THAN A QUARTER OF A MILE AT TIMES.

AN ADDITIONAL 2 TO 5 INCHES OF SNOWFALL IS EXPECTED THROUGH TONIGHT. THE HIGHER ACCUMULATIONS ALONG WITH BLIZZARD CONDITIONS ARE EXPECTED ACROSS THE HIGHEST ELEVATIONS.

IN ADDITION... TEMPERATURES IN THE TEENS COMBINED WITH THE STRONG WIND WILL GENERATE WIND CHILL INDICES AT APPROXIMATELY 10 BELOW ZERO.

Well, at least there's no earthquake.

Categories: Weather

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When he asks for your nuts, give them to him.

Categories: Animals

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Categories: Colbert Report, Sarah Palin, Stephen Colbert, Video

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The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.
-Unattributed

Categories: Quotes of the day

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Back off, man. He's a scientist.

Categories: Video, Weather, YouTube

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(Fox News video: Bill O'Reilly talks with Jon Stewart.)

Categories: Bill O'Reilly, Jon Stewart

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(YouTube video: Tom Lehrer's "The Elements")

Categories: Tom Lehrer, Video, YouTube

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Happy birthday, Porky!

Categories: Porky Chedwick, YouTube

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(Daily Show video: Fox News cuts away from President Obama's lunch with the GOP because it's against the narrative that they present.)

Categories: Barack Obama, Daily Show, Jon Stewart

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Google has announced it's phasing out support for its FTP-based Blogger service, which means I either have to accept Google as the host for KGB Report, or I have to find some other mechanism to maintain my website.

kgbreport.com is hosted through a service I've been using for over a dozen years now. It's been reasonably priced, extremely reliable, and the support provided has been peerless. There's something about throwing all my eggs in one incredibly huge basket- the bazillions of blogs hosted on Google's Blogspot and related hosts- that makes me a bit queasy.

Oh well.

"Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has been a history of replacing what worked with what sounded good."
-Thomas Sowell

Categories: KGB Blog News

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(YouTube video: Eva Cassidy, "Fields of Gold")

...to my father, my dog Beanie, and Eva Cassidy. I miss you all.

Categories: Eva Cassidy, Music, Passages, Video, YouTube

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CTV Television Network in Canada reports "Little or no grammar teaching, cellphone texting, social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter- all are being blamed for an increasingly unacceptable number of post-secondary students who can't write properly." (Full story here.)

The solution's simple. Make spelling and grammar checking an integral part of cellphone texting and web chat software. Messages with misspelled words or faulty grammar are flagged and not transmitted until and unless the sender corrects the errors.

I think kids just need a little motivation...

Categories: Facebook, Internet, KGB Opinion, Twitter

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