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Guilty pleasure
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Published Sunday, January 30, 2011 @ 6:50 AM EST
Jan 30 2011

I'm not a sports fan by any stretch of the imagination and the incessant Steelermania is grating, but I stumbled across this parody of Marc Cohn's hit song "Walking in Memphis" by Pittsburgh-based singer-songwriter and CMU grad Tim Ruff and was instantly charmed.

"Tell me man, are yinz a Christian 'n 'at?" Snrk!


Categories: Music, Video, YouTube


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Groovy
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Published Saturday, January 29, 2011 @ 7:42 AM EST
Jan 29 2011


Categories: Classic, DeForest Kelley, Leonard Nimoy, Music, Star Trek, Video, William Shatner, YouTube


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Political Jokes of the Week
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Published Friday, January 28, 2011 @ 8:50 AM EST
Jan 28 2011

The week's best late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog on About.com.

"For the State of the Union address last night, Republicans and Democrats sat next to each other, instead of on opposite sides. The press called it 'date night.' How come they go on a date, but we're the ones who get screwed?"
-Jay Leno

"Tonight Democrats and Republicans paired up and sat next to each other. Fifty-five years after Rosa Parks we finally integrated Washington."
-Jimmy Kimmel

"John McCain and John Kerry naturally paired off as their other colleagues grew tired of their yearly tradition of reciting their own state of the union address under their breath."
-Jon Stewart

"A Washington Post columnist is proposing a 'Sarah-Palin-Free February,' a whole month in which she's not mentioned. This is stupid. Don't pick February, the shortest month. ... You know what the perfect month would be? November 2012."
-Jay Leno

"Egypt is in the second day of angry street protests. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is calling for calm. Because nothing calms an enraged Arab country like a powerful woman ordering it around."
-Conan O'Brien

"Tea Party rebutter Michele Bachmann is under fire for saying the Founding Fathers eliminated slavery. Sarah Palin is very upset. Another female Republican trying to steal the dumbass vote."
-Jay Leno

"Tomorrow is the State of the Union Address, and Republicans and Democrats will sit together intermingled, if for no other reason than the raw sexual tension."
-Conan O'Brien

"The theme of President Obama's State of the Union address was 'Win the Future.' It was much more inspiring than the original theme: Beat the rerun of 'Top Chef.'"
-Conan O'Brien

"The Republican response to the speech was fairly gracious. They said it was a pretty good speech for a foreigner."
-Jimmy Kimmel

"Obama made a major announcement tonight. He's Oprah's half-brother. That's why there's been so much confusion about the birth certificate."
-Jimmy Kimmel

"Last night, President Obama gave the State of the Union address. Vice President Biden called it a great speech. House Speaker John Boehner called it a real tearjerker."
-Jay Leno

"Rep. Michele Bachmann gave a rebuttal for the Tea Party, and she is a natural on camera. [She looked to the side the whole time.] Either the cue cards were in the wrong place or she was keeping an eye out for illegal immigrants the whole time."
-Jimmy Kimmel

"Did you hear about the State of the Union address drinking game? You listen to the speech, and every time you think about the actual state of the union, you take a drink. It helps."
-Jimmy Kimmel

"In the State of the Union address tonight, President Obama focused his speech on how to bring prosperity back to America. It basically involves all of us convincing Oprah we're her half sister. That's the plan."
-Conan O'Brien

"The terrorist group Hezbollah has taken control in Lebanon, and opponents have declared a 'Day of Rage.' Or as it's known in the Middle East, 'Tuesday.'"
-Conan O'Brien

"A court has ruled that Rahm Emanuel is not legally allowed to run for mayor of Chicago, which in Chicago I believe means he won."
-Stephen Colbert

"A Chicago court ruled former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel can't run for Mayor of Chicago. However, according to Chicago law, he's free to purchase the position."
-Conan O'Brien

"MSNBC has abruptly ended their relationship with Keith Olbermann, and according to his contract he's not allowed back on television for at least six months. Or as industry experts call it, The Conan."
-Conan O'Brien


Categories: Daily Show, Founding Fathers, Jon Stewart, Political Jokes of the Week, Stephen Colbert


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O'Really, O'Reilly?
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Published Friday, January 28, 2011 @ 5:21 AM EST
Jan 28 2011

Noted condescending conservative pinhead Bill O'Reilly criticized Jon Stewart of The Daily Show for claiming Fox News calls people Nazis.

Stewart again nails the faux news channel to the wall.

Don't those Fox News people realize The Daily Show has researchers who actually hold on to the tapes?


Categories: Daily Show, Hypocrisy, Jon Stewart, Video, WTF?


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State of the Union
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Published Thursday, January 27, 2011 @ 7:36 PM EST
Jan 27 2011

The cost of living's going up, and the chance of living's going down.
-Flip Wilson


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Quote of the day
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Published Wednesday, January 26, 2011 @ 12:22 PM EST
Jan 26 2011

I have no life, just e-mail.
-Michael Jantze, "The Norm" comix strip


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Fox's Nazipalooza!
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Published Tuesday, January 25, 2011 @ 6:43 AM EST
Jan 25 2011

Jon Stewart's crack Daily Show research staff again exposes the fetid swamp of steaming hypocrisy that is Fox News.

"That's like Charlie Sheen showing up at your intervention to tell you to take it down a notch."


Categories: Daily Show, Hypocrisy, Jon Stewart, Video, WTF?


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Ouch.
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Published Tuesday, January 25, 2011 @ 6:03 AM EST
Jan 25 2011

An Englishman is being shown around a Scottish hospital. At the end of his visit, he is shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims: "Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain e' the puddin' race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, painch tripe or thairm: Weel are ye wordy o' a grace as lang's my arm." The Englishman, somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient, and immediately the patient launches into: "Some hae meat, and canna eat, And some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat and we can eat, And sae the Lord be thankit." This continues with the next patient: "Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie, O what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi bickering brattle. I wad be laith to run and chase thee, Wi murdering prattle!" "Well," the Englishman mutters to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for the last." "Nay, nay," the Scottish doctor corrected him, "this is the Serious Burns unit."
(via Rampant Scotland

Today's birthday: Robert Burns (January 25 1759 – July 21 1796)


Categories: WTF?


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It begins...
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Published Monday, January 24, 2011 @ 2:49 PM EST
Jan 24 2011

The 11 pm newscasts in Pittsburgh last night contained precisely three stories: the Steelers beat the Jets and are going to the Super Bowl; it was really, really cold; and some schools announced a two hour delay this morning.

And that was it. Several replays of key game moments, reporters standing outside Heinz Field and South Side bars pointing their cameras at drunk, hypothermic revelers, a few minutes of weather, and the school delay crawl at the bottom of the screen.

While the news content will be back to near normal today- if you consider static videos of auto accidents and burned houses "news"- for the next two weeks every Pittsburgh newscast will dedicate as much as a third of its time teasing, promoting, and airing inane Super Bowl-related drivel.

Please- add a minute or two to the sports segments and put your "enhanced" Steeler coverage there. We don't need to see players getting on and off planes, practicing, making predictions, and we sure as hell don't need to see more grossly overweight fans with black and gold paint covering their half-nude bodies.

Remember: ""We need to keep it in perspective. It's a very, very important game, but it's not the be all and end all of everything. The city better get its act together regardless; I'm talking politically, with its business leaders, its religious leaders, everybody's got to get back to work."

What killjoy uttered those remarks? The United States Ambassador to Ireland and Steelers' Chairman Emeritus, Dan Rooney. He made the comment when the city was going batshit crazy before the 2005 AFC playoffs.

Let's hope sane heads prevail. But I doubt it.

This is Pittsburgh, after all. And they are the Steelers.

UPDATE:

I happened to catch KDKA's News at 10 on the CW last night. The first half-dozen stories were all Steelers-related feel good pieces. The "real" news started over 11 minutes into the broadcast.

Sigh.


Categories: KGB Opinion


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Quote of the day
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Published Saturday, January 22, 2011 @ 8:16 AM EST
Jan 22 2011

Republicans, please note, are not taken in by the myth of common ground: they never move an inch on anything. Gun restrictions are always bad; taxes are always too high; and there’s nothing on Earth that can’t be improved by adding either Jesus or bacon. Sarah Palin knows fewer words than Koko the gorilla, but it’s not a coincidence that [three] of them are "don’t retreat"’ and the other is "reload."
-Bill Maher


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Political Jokes of the week
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Published Friday, January 21, 2011 @ 10:31 AM EST
Jan 21 2011

The week's best late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog on About.Com.

The President of China is in Washington. It's a bit like when you're into your bookie for more than you can afford, and he stops by the house to say hello.
-Jimmy Kimmel

The White House held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. President Obama wore a traditional Chinese-made garment: a pair of Nikes.
-Jay Leno

The Republican-controlled House voted to repeal the healthcare bill. If that goes well, they'll see what they can do about this whole 'women voting' thing.
-Conan O'Brien

Good news tonight. The chief victim of that shooting in Tucson is sitting upright and talking. (On screen: Sarah Palin on Fox News)
-Jon Stewart

Doctors say Dick Cheney may need a heart transplant, but Cheney isn't worried. He's already picked out a hunting buddy.
-David Letterman

Dick Cheney predicts that President Obama will only last one term. This is coming from the same guy that predicted weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
-David Letterman

President Obama held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. The world leader with the funny name, who grew up in Asia, said he enjoyed meeting President Hu.
-Conan O'Brien

Obama and Hu had a private dinner the night before. When Obama tried to pick up the check, Hu said, 'Your money is no good here.' Obama laughed, and Hu said, 'No, really, your money is no good.'
-Jay Leno

There was a really awkward moment when the Chinese president met President Obama's daughters and asked them, 'So what factories do you kids work at?'
-Jay Leno

Chinese President Hu Jintao visited the White House. Fox News said it was a gathering of the world's most powerful communist -- and the president of China.
-Craig Ferguson

After surprise visits to Afghanistan and Pakistan, Vice President Joe Biden made a surprise visit to Iraq yesterday. Is it me, or is he just lost in that area?
-Jimmy Fallon

Arnold Schwarzenegger said being Governor of California cost him at least 200 million dollars in lost movie roles. Moviegoers everywhere said, 'Totally worth it.'
-Conan O'Brien

Arnold Schwarzenegger says he's considering doing a movie in which he would play a Nazi. He says that after being governor of California, he's looking for a job that will make people hate him less.
-Conan O'Brien


Categories: Jon Stewart


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Thanks for pointing that out, AccuWeather...
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Published Friday, January 21, 2011 @ 6:39 AM EST
Jan 21 2011

Better cancel the water skiing outing as well.


Categories: WTF?


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Happy Birthday, Bones
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Published Thursday, January 20, 2011 @ 10:53 PM EST
Jan 20 2011

DeForest Kelley, who played the curmudgeonly Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy in the original Star Trek series, was born on this day in 1920 in Atlanta, Georgia. He was the first member of the original Star Trek cast to pass away, on June 11, 1999, at the age of 79.

Initially approached for the role of the Vulcan science officer Mr. Spock, Kelley was instead cast as the ship's chief medical officer, described by series creator Gene Roddenberry as "a future-day H.L. Mencken". An unabashed cynic of technology, the McCoy character was a self-described old fashioned country doctor who put more faith in humanity than high technology.

In a 1982 interview with author Allan Asherman, Kelley said McCoy represented "the perspective of the audience, that if you were along on the voyage you'd think, 'These people are crazy! How in the hell do they expect to do that?'" Indeed, the McCoy character was often used to interject a dose of reality, interpret the techno-babble, and explain the frequently convoluted plotting of the more arcane Trek adventures to those in the audience struggling to follow the science fiction storylines.

His summary of the plot of Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, delivered in exasperated disbelief to the gung-ho Captain Kirk, still stands as one of the best examples of exposition in screen history:

"You're proposing that we go backwards in time, find humpbacked whales, then bring them forward in time, drop 'em off, and hope to hell they tell this probe what to go do with itself?!" The entire plot in fewer than 35 words. That's Bones for you.

The son of a Baptist minister, Jackson DeForest Kelley wanted to be a doctor like an uncle he greatly admired, but his family couldn't afford to send him to medical school. He instead became a character actor who worked steadily in film and television from the late 1940s through the 1960s. Star Trek's popularity in syndication essentially ended his acting career, but he considered himself fortunate to be associated with a role that made him a permanent icon in popular culture, and he made a comfortable living by reprising his character for the motion picture series and appearing on the convention circuit.

Asherman's interview ended with a quote that could serve as an accurate and fitting epitaph:

"I'd wanted to be a physician and couldn't- and yet became the most well-known doctor in the galaxy."


Categories: DeForest Kelley, Star Trek


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Quotes of the day
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Published Thursday, January 20, 2011 @ 9:41 AM EST
Jan 20 2011

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men.

Domestic policy can only lose elections. Foreign policy can kill us.

Even today, there is little value in opposing the threat of a closed society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions. Even today, there is little value in insuring the survival of our nation if our traditions do not survive with it.

For those to whom much is given, much is required.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot. Some days I get more out of The New York Times.

If a nation cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.

If art is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes him.

If we are strong, our character will speak for itself. If we are weak, words will be of no help.

If we cannot now end our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity.

In politics you have no friends, only allies.

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government- he promised Dad he'd go straight.

My father always told me that all businessmen were sons of bitches, but I never believed it until now.

The basis of effective government is public confidence and that confidence is endangered when ethical standards falter, or appear to falter.

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie- deliberate, contrived and dishonest- but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.

The greater our knowledge increases, the greater our ignorance unfolds.

The mere absence of war is not peace.

The state is the servant of the citizen, and not his master.

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.

The unity of freedom has never relied on uniformity of opinion.

There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.

There will always be dissident voices heard in the land, expressing opposition without alternatives, finding fault but never favor, perceiving gloom on every side and seeking influence without responsibility. Those voices are inevitable.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.

Unless liberty flourishes in all lands, it cannot flourish in one.

War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today.

Washington is a city of southern efficiency and northern charm.

We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.

We celebrate the past to awaken the future.

We must never forget that art is not a form of propaganda; it is a form of truth.

-John F. Kennedy


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Colbert nails it again...
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Published Wednesday, January 19, 2011 @ 1:31 PM EST
Jan 19 2011

Stephen Colbert offers advice to MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski about her apparent "Palin Fatigue":

I know you think this story has no purpose other than keeping Sarah Palin's name in the headlines for another news cycle.

I know you think she has nothing to offer the national dialogue, and that her speeches are just coded talking points mixed in with words picked up at random from a thesaurus.

I know you think Sarah Palin is at best a self-promoting ignoramus and at worst a shameless media troll who'll abuse any platform to deliver dog-whistle encouragement to a far-right base that may include possible insurrectionists.

I know you think her reality show was pathetically unstatesmanlike and at the same time I know you believe it also represents the pinnacle of her potential, and that her transparent desperation to be a celebrity so completely eclipsed her interest in public service so long ago, that there would be more journalistic integrity in reporting on one of the lesser Kardashian's ass implants.

And I know that when you arrive at the office each day you say a silent prayer that maybe, just maybe, Sarah Palin will at long last shut up for ten f**king minutes.


Categories: Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert


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Quote of the day
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Published Wednesday, January 19, 2011 @ 11:09 AM EST
Jan 19 2011

This is America, where a white Catholic male Republican judge was murdered on his way to greet a Democratic Jewish woman member of Congress, who was his friend. Her life was saved initially by a 20-year old Mexican-American gay college student, and eventually by a Korean-American combat surgeon, all eulogized by our African American President.
-Mark Shields, quoting Maine historian Allen Ginsberg


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Law & Order: WTF?
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Published Tuesday, January 18, 2011 @ 7:55 AM EST
Jan 18 2011


Categories: Video, WTF?


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Quotes of the day
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Published Monday, January 17, 2011 @ 7:15 AM EST
Jan 17 2011

from the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.:

A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.

A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on an installment plan.

By our readiness to allow arms to be purchased at will and fired at whim, we have created an atmosphere in which violence and hatred have become popular pastimes.

Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a permanent attitude.

Freedom is not free.

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.

History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.

I am as deeply concerned about our own troops there as anything else. For it occurs to me that what we are submitting them to in Vietnam is not simply the brutalizing process that goes on in any war where armies face each other and seek to destroy. We are adding cynicism to the process of death, for they must know after a short period there that none of the things we claim to be fighting for are really involved.

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I submit that an individual who breaks the law that conscience tells him is unjust and willingly accepts the penalty by staying in jail to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the very highest respect for law.

If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

Life's most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others?

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless.

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

One who condones evil is just as guilty as the one who perpetrates it.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.

Philanthropy is commendable, but it must not cause the philanthropist to overlook the circumstances of economic injustice which make philanthropy necessary.

Success, recognition, and conformity are the bywords of the modern world where everyone seems to crave the anesthetizing security of being identified with the majority.

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind.

The Negro's concern isn't to be the white man's brother-in-law, but to be his brother.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy.

The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

We have learned to fly the air like birds and swim the sea like fish, but we have not yet learned the simple art of living together like brothers. Our abundance has brought us neither peace of mind nor serenity of spirit.

We must accept finite disappointments, but we must never lose infinite hope.

We must learn to live together as brothers, or perish together as fools.

When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.


Categories: Martin Luther King, Jr., Quotes of the day


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Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Angriness
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Published Sunday, January 16, 2011 @ 2:12 PM EST
Jan 16 2011

Sarah Palin knows now is not the time to determine ground elevation. (Might Lead To High Road)


Categories: Colbert Report, First Amendment, Second Amendment, Stephen Colbert, Video


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Quote of the day
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Published Saturday, January 15, 2011 @ 7:03 AM EST
Jan 15 2011

St. Genesius is the patron saint of clowns and lawyers. Clearly, the Lord doesn’t always work in mysterious ways.
The Covert Comic

(More comprehensively, St. Genesius is the patron saint of actors, attorneys, comedians, clowns, converts, dancers, epileptics, musicians, printers, torture victims, and stenographers. Really. So, CC's observation stands.)


Categories: Covert Comic, Quotes of the day


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Political Jokes of the week
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Published Friday, January 14, 2011 @ 8:53 AM EST
Jan 14 2011

The week's best late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog on About.Com.

"Former U.S. House Majority Leader, Tom DeLay, has been sentenced to three years in prison. One year for money laundering and two more for his performance on 'Dancing with the Stars.'"
-Jay Leno

"Chinese President Hu Jintao will be at the White House next week. The good news is, he has no plans to foreclose. We can stay another month."
-Jay Leno

"Last night was possibly the last show ever of 'Sarah Palin's Alaska,' for several reasons. She might run for President and would have to abide by the equal time rules. Also, she just likes to quit things."
-Jimmy Kimmel

"When a candidate walks away from a reality show, that's when you know they're serious about being president of the United States."
-Jay Leno

"Sad news. It looks like 'Sarah Palin's Alaska' won't be back for a second year. How does that make her feel? She was governor, almost vice president. She gets one year. Snooki's on her third year."
-Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin should pick The Situation from 'Jersey Shore' as her vice president. That way, we can get rid of two reality shows at once."
-Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin knows angry speech isn't a call to violence. Unless it's angry speech directed at Sarah Palin in which case it is a call to violence."
-Stephen Colbert

"Police are looking for a man in Phoenix who robbed a bank and told the teller he wanted the money in twenties, forties and sixties. Authorities believe he could be one of President Obama's economic advisers."
-Jay Leno

"John Edwards has denied 'The National Enquirer' story that he asked his mistress to marry him. Who are you gonna believe, the sleazy purveyor of lies or 'The National Enquirer'?"
-Jay Leno

"A new study shows that a woman's tears can chemically lower the level of testosterone in a man. When that happens, the man will also start to cry and then eventually be elected speaker of the House."
-Jay Leno

"San Francisco celebrated the opening of the nation's first gay history museum. The museum is called 'San Francisco.'"
-Conan O'Brien

"The blizzard was three hours of howling wind- kind of like Rush Limbaugh's radio show."
-Conan O'Brien

"It would be really nice if the ramblings of crazy people didn't in any way resemble how we actually talk to each other on TV. Let's at least make troubled individuals easier to spot."
-Jon Stewart, reflecting on vitriolic political rhetoric in the wake of the Arizona shooting


Categories: Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert


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You betcha
(permalink)

Published Thursday, January 13, 2011 @ 7:26 AM EST
Jan 13 2011

Note to Sarah Palin: It's not "pundint," it's "pundit." No "n" before the "t". Just like "nitwit."


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Quote of the day
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Published Wednesday, January 12, 2011 @ 11:02 AM EST
Jan 12 2011

I'm shocked that Sarah Palin is calling finger-pointing "Irresponsible," because that is a five-syllable word.
-Andy Borowitz


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Weather report
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Published Wednesday, January 12, 2011 @ 6:43 AM EST
Jan 12 2011

49 of the 50 states in the U.S. have snow on the ground. Even Hawaii has snow cover on one of its volcanoes. Florida is the sole exception- just its normal dusting of elderly and stupid.


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More snow dogs...
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Published Tuesday, January 11, 2011 @ 3:00 PM EST
Jan 11 2011

Misty, Sassy and Riley watch the latest snowstorm arrive.


Categories: Dogs, KGB Family, Video, YouTube


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Quote of the day
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Published Tuesday, January 11, 2011 @ 5:49 AM EST
Jan 11 2011

I do think that it's a worthwhile goal not to conflate our political opponents with our enemies if for no other reason than to draw a better distinction between the manifesto of paranoid mad men and what passes for acceptable political pundit speak. It would be really nice if the ramblings of crazy people didn't in any way resemble how we actually talk to each other on TV. Let's at least make troubled individuals easier to spot.
-Jon Stewart


Categories: Daily Show, Jon Stewart, Quotes of the day


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This happens a lot...
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Published Tuesday, January 11, 2011 @ 5:31 AM EST
Jan 11 2011

(Copyright © 2011 Scott Adams)


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Eligibile for Social Security
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Published Monday, January 10, 2011 @ 6:23 AM EST
Jan 10 2011

Rod Stewart (b. January 10, 1945)


Categories: Eligible for Social Security, Music, Video, YouTube


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Tweet of the day
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Published Sunday, January 09, 2011 @ 4:28 PM EST
Jan 09 2011

Hey, Sarah Palin, hows that hatey, killy, reloady, crosshairsy thing working out for ya?
-Frank Conniff (formerly TV's Frank, MST3K)


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We Are Getting Tired of Prying Your Guns out of Your Cold Dead Hands
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Published Sunday, January 09, 2011 @ 12:09 AM EST
Jan 09 2011

(This commentary by Elayne Boosler appeared in the Huffington Post in April of 2007 following the Virginia Tech shootings. As she noted yesterday on Facebook, "It's only worse since I wrote this piece.")

If 33 people were killed by apples instead of guns at Virginia Tech, there wouldn't be an apple left on the shelves or in the homes of this country until apples could be made safe. Screw your "constitutional right" to have an apple, there is something called the "greater good", and the good of the country takes precedence over your "interpretation" of any amendment in the now defunct anyway constitution. Just ask the spinach growers, and the people who love to yell "fire" in a crowded theater. And why do you always forget the words, "well regulated militia"?

2500 Children Left Behind

If 2500 children under the age of 17 were felled by apples instead of guns every year in America, there wouldn't be a congressman or senator left serving who took one penny from the National Apple Association. The shame and admonishment would be too great. And if there were even incremental steps to take to make apples safer, and even they were fought tooth and nail by your blood money National Apple Association, claiming the straw man of the "slippery slope" to "regulation", America might better see you for the mercenary and shameful organization you truly are.

We are getting tired of prying your guns out of your cold dead hands.

Here's a news flash for you gun waving "real Americans": It's not about guns. It's about money. Follow the money. The NRA raises hundreds of millions of dollars by convincing you they are fighting for your "rights". Wake up. It's a business. Just like any other business, except with the help of their bought off representatives, they are the only UNREGULATED consumer product in America. What do they sell? FEAR. Fear, fake patriotism, and fake bravado, just like their commander in chief, President Custer. You're being played.

With their hundreds of millions of dollars raised on the blood of murdered Americans, they pay themselves, they keep their product manufacturers flush, and they buy their government officials. They exist to convince you you need their product. And when sales slow, they target new markets. They market fear to women, then sell them "feminine little purse guns". They market to children. The cartoon character Joe Camel is banned, but sure shootin' Eddie Eagle is alive and well to shit again on Friday. (He teaches children "gun safety", meaning, he teaches children to use guns.)

We're Number One!!

The number of children under the age of 17 shot by guns in America every year is greater than the gun-related deaths of children in all the industrialized nations of the world COMBINED.

Here is the population of Japan: 127,463,611.

Here is the number of children killed by guns in Japan every year: 0.

A 2001 Centers for Disease Control (CDC) study found that in homicides among intimate partners, women are murdered more with guns than with all other means COMBINED.

In 2004, guns were most commonly used by males to murder their female partners.

A 2003 study found women living with a gun in the home were almost three times more likely to be murdered than women with no gun in the home.

"If we ban handguns only criminals will have guns." Well then let's not have any laws in America at all. No drug laws, no traffic laws, no laws at all, right? Duh.

"Cars kill people!!" Yes, cars kill people when something goes wrong. Guns are MADE to kill people. Handguns have one purpose, to kill people.

Stage Rule: If There is a Gun on the Wall in Act I, It Will Go Off in Act II.

Bush's Unmitigated Gall

I watched President Custer speak at the Virginia Tech memorial yesterday. How dare he "express condolences". How DARE he. Here is how his administration helped kill 33 people at Virginia Tech:

Passage of gun industry immunity bill. That's right, you can sue every industry in America, except gun manufacturers and dealers. Your family gets murdered by a madman? Tough.

Refusal to aid in renewal of federal assault weapons ban, even though the law had already been eviscerated by the gun industry. Get it? INDUSTRY.

Fighting background checks. The Virginia shooter had been committed to a mental institution. In Virginia that means you can't buy a gun. Oh yeah? Thank goodness the gun shop owner who sold it to him can't be sued.

The president does not support the police when citizens can have assault weapons.

The president does not support the police when citizens can have armor piercing bullets.

The president helps the terrorists when anyone can have a shoulder rocket launcher that can take a plane out of the sky. And I'm taking my shoes off at the airport?

The president helps the terrorists when he supports a ban on release of federal crime tracing data necessary to identify patterns in illegal gun trafficking.

The president helps the terrorists when he requires the ATF to immediately destroy gun sales records previously allowed to be kept for 90 days under Brady Bill background check.

We Found the WMD. They Are Here.

Guns are for cowards. You can kill from a distance. You are detached, removed. You don't get your hands dirty. You don't feel the life draining out of another human being in an eye to eye struggle, face to face, with your hands squeezing or beating soft, human, flesh, one on one. We had just as many disturbed, sick citizens in America in the last century as we do in this. The difference now is access to weapons of mass destruction. Anyone can have a gun. Anyone. It did not used to be like this. It's easy to kill now.

The Gang that Couldn't Shoot Straight

"Two Secret Service officers were injured yesterday after a gun held by another Secret Service officer accidentally fired inside the White House gate. The officers received wounds to face and leg."

"Vice President Cheney shoots hunting companion in the face."

So really, what chance do thousands of children a year have?

3,300 Americans have died in Iraq and Afghanistan in the last four years. 120,000 Americans have been shot to death in America in the last four years. Where is the outrage? If we can elect a new congress based on its commitment to end the war overseas, we can elect a congress committed to end the war here at home. End both wars.

Here's the Punchline

Today the supreme court overturned thirty years of supreme court precedent, and overturned the findings of six federal courts, to declare war on women, their health, their privacy, and their lives, by upholding a ban on dilation and curettage abortion that contains NO exception to preserve the health or SAVE THE LIFE of the woman. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, writing for the four dissenting justices, called the decision "alarming".

Wait for it...

President Custer - "Today's decision affirms that the Constitution does not stand in the way of the people's representatives enacting laws reflecting the compassion and humanity of America. This affirms the progress my administration has made to defend the 'sanctity of life'".


Categories: Elayne Boosler, Second Amendment, Supreme Court


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"There must be a God, because I don't know how things work."
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Published Saturday, January 08, 2011 @ 12:02 AM EST
Jan 08 2011


Categories: Colbert Report, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Stephen Colbert, Video


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Political jokes of the week
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Published Friday, January 07, 2011 @ 8:51 AM EST
Jan 07 2011

The week's best late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog on About.Com.

"The Republicans now control the House, and they say they're going to follow a strict interpretation of the original Constitution. So I hope you women and non-whites don't like voting."
-Jimmy Kimmel

"Congress was broadcast live on Facebook for the first time in history. Now you can waste time and not get work done by watching Congress waste time and not get work done."
-Jimmy Fallon

"The new Congress has been sworn in. To politicians the oath of office is like a New Years resolution to the rest of us. You try for a week or two and then say screw it."
-Jay Leno

"Thousands of birds fell dead in Arkansas. It's either al-Qaida, or Dick Cheney is hunting again."
-David Letterman

"Why is it no human being can withstand more than two years as a presidential press secretary? There must be an organ somewhere in the body that can only filter two years worth of heavy duty bullsh*t."
-Jon Stewart on Robert Gibbs' retirement

"The new Republican-controlled House of Representative decided to start things off by reading the entire Constitution aloud. They took turns each reading a part of the Constitution. Then there was a break for lunch and a slave auction."
-Jimmy Kimmel

"Now that the Republicans have taken over the House, they're going to undo everything President Obama has done. John Boehner even told the Obama kids that the dog has to go back."
-David Letterman

"Outgoing Speaker Nancy Pelosi gave a speech and handed the gavel to John Boehner. Very emotional moment for Pelosi, but she managed to keep a stiff upper lip, a tightly stretched forehead, and unnaturally arched eyebrows."
-Jay Leno

"The last speaker, Nancy Pelosi has a frozen face and John Boehner has an orange face. If you put them together, you've got the Creamsicle of the House."
-Jimmy Kimmel

"The commander of the USS Enterprise was relieved of duty because of his involvement in making raunchy videos while onboard the Navy ship. The good news: Today he was offered a job as a producer on 'Jersey Shore.'"
-Jay Leno

"This weekend in Arkansas, thousands of dead birds dropped out of the sky and there were 100,000 dead fish in the rivers. Also, McDonald's is having a special on Chicken McNuggets and Filet of Fish."
-Jay Leno

"Christine O'Donnell is being investigated for using campaign funds to pay for personal expenses. I think it's a witch hunt."
-Jay Leno

"Snooki is now a published author. I'm blaming Sarah Palin . She lowered the bar."
-David Letterman

David Letterman's "Top Ten Things Overheard During The Republicans' First Day In Charge Of The House"
10. "Mr. Boehner, please stop crying"
9. "How do we blame this dead bird thing on Obama?"
8. "I think he was just sworn in on a copy of Snooki's new book"
7. "Beer me!"
6. "Alright, you've had six hours, is the economy fixed?"
5. "Speaker Boehner, please stop blowing your nose"
4. "When is vacation?"
3. "No, Sen. McCain, Woodrow Wilson doesn't work here anymore"
2. "When do we get to sleep with the pages?"
1. "How soon can we go back to invading countries for oil?"


Categories: Daily Show, Jon Stewart, Political Jokes of the Week, U.S. Constitution


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Okay, it's not KGB Vodka
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Published Friday, January 07, 2011 @ 12:06 AM EST
Jan 07 2011

...but it does have a charm all its own.


Categories: KGB, WTF?


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Actually, I don't want to know...
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Published Thursday, January 06, 2011 @ 10:06 AM EST
Jan 06 2011


Categories: Photo of the day, WTF?


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We're keeping that answer?
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Published Wednesday, January 05, 2011 @ 11:02 AM EST
Jan 05 2011

(via Rafal Sulejman on Facebook)


Categories: Questions for the Ages, WTF?, YouTube


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"The toy is the healthiest thing in the meal."
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Published Tuesday, January 04, 2011 @ 7:04 AM EST
Jan 04 2011

In this clip, Aasif Mandvi of The Daily Show, demonstrates what the show does best: bringing truth- and stupidity- to power.


Categories: Daily Show, Jon Stewart, Video, WTF?


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Quote of the day
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Published Saturday, January 01, 2011 @ 6:36 AM EST
Jan 01 2011

I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's.
-Henry Moore


Categories: Quotes of the day


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