If we amplify everything, we hear nothing.
-Jon Stewart
Categories: Jon Stewart, Quotes of the day
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« November 2010
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September 2010 »
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.
-Oscar Ameringer
Categories: Quotes of the day
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The Daily Show's Jon Stewart shows once again why the court jester's ability to speak truth to power makes "fake news" better than the rest of the media.
Categories: Daily Show, Jon Stewart, Video
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"It's like you haven't heard a thing I've thought."
By Matthew Diffee in The New Yorker
(See more of Mr. Diffee's work here)
Categories: Cartoons
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While waiting for some test files to run, I was bouncing around YouTube, watching scenes from the old Terminator movies and clips of Olivia Wilde ("13") on House, MD. Half asleep, I eventually stumbled across this.
I need to cut back on the caffeinated beverages right before bed, I think...
Categories: Video
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(See the complete interview here.)
Categories: Jon Stewart, Video, YouTube
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Daniel Kurtzman does a superb job running About.com's political humor category, and he's put together a page of Best Late-Night Jokes of 2010 (So Far), a representative sample of which follows:
Sarah Palin and President Bush have new books coming out this fall. You
know what that means? This could plunge America into a huge crayon
shortage.
-Jay Leno
Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many
of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.
-Jay
Leno
How to describe Rand Paul? I mean, he's a doctor. It's as if Sarah Palin
somehow made it through medical school.
-Bill Maher, on Kentucky
Senate candidate and Tea Party hero Rand Paul
While criticizing President Obama during an interview on Good Morning
America this week, Rudy Giuliani said, "We had no domestic attacks
under Bush." You know, I knew one day we would reach a point where
people would forget about 9/11, but I never thought you would be the
first.
-Seth Meyers
The Supreme Court ruled that the government cannot stop corporations
from spending money on political candidates. Which explains why Sarah
Palin has accepted $1 million to change her name to Pizza Hut.
-Jimmy
Fallon
What a week in Washington. They passed health care, they're talking
about immigration reform, it looks like they've ended "Don't Ask, Don't
Tell," and they're legalizing marijuana. Let me tell you something, if
you're a gay drug dealer from Mexico who snuck across the border for
free health care so you could join the Navy, this is the greatest year
of your life.
-Jay Leno
Of course, a lot of right wingers are very upset about this because they
believe this health care bill will cost a lot of money. You know what I
think? Just pretend it's another unnecessary war. You'll feel better
about it already.
-Jay Leno
Sarah Palin's also getting criticized because last week she demanded
that Obama's chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, step down because he used the
word retarded. But then, Rush Limbaugh did the same thing on his radio
show, and that, she said, was O.K. Unfortunately, she's been unable to
respond to the criticism because she's wearing mittens.
-Jimmy
Kimmel
They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country.
But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.
-David
Letterman
I find it strange that Sarah Palin would be shopping a reality show
considering the fact that she hasn't shown much interest in reality.
-Jimmy
Kimmel
During his acceptance speech, newly elected Senator Scott Brown told the
crowd that his two daughters are both available. Man, so many great
American speeches, right? "Four score and seven years ago," "Ask not
what your country can do for you," "I have a dream," and now, "My
daughters are both available."
—Jimmy Fallon
One of John McCain's former top campaign aides says that when he talked
to Sarah Palin after McCain picked her to be his running mate, she said
it was "God's plan." So, apparently, God wanted Obama to win.
-Jay
Leno
Some critics are saying that Palin won't last on Fox because she's an
over-emotional woman who gets the facts wrong. But I disagree. It's
working great for Glenn Beck, so she'll be fine.
-Craig Ferguson
Well, folks, Sarah Palin has admitted she tried marijuana several years
ago, but she did not like it. She said it distorted her perceptions,
impaired her thinking, and she's hoping that the effects will eventually
wear off.
-Jay Leno
Meg Whitman said she's willing to take a lie detector test to prove that
she didn't know that she had an illegal alien cleaning her house. You
know what, if we wanted a governor who swears they have no idea what's
happening in their house, we'd move to Alaska.
-Bill Maher
Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama
talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about a
kid with a cleft palate. And John McCain told how he once carried a
brain dead woman through an entire campaign.
-Bill Maher, on
Obama's health care summit
Categories: Craig Ferguson, Quotes of the day, Supreme Court
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We need to send a message to Washington. This November, I want everyone who believes in basic human rights to touch themselves in the voting booth. I want to say this to Christine O'Donnell and her followers: you'll take away this penis when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands.
-Jimmy Kimmel
Categories: Quotes of the day, WTF?
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Jerome Lester "Jerry" Horwitz (October 22, 1903 – January 18, 1952)
Curly found constant companionship in his dogs and often befriended strays whenever the Stooges were traveling. He would pick up homeless dogs and take them with him from town to town, until finding them homes somewhere else on the tour. When not performing, Curly would usually have a few dogs waiting for him at home as well.
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... to my daughter, Sara, who's 33 today but still my little girl.
Categories: KGB Family
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Yet another date to add to your calendar.
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Granddaughter Leanna amid the pumpkins at Trax Farms in 2010
... and in 2004.
Categories: KGB Family, Photo of the day
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Catholicism is clearly superior. Don’t believe me? Name one Protestant denomination that can
afford a $660 million sexual abuse settlement.
-Stephen Colbert
Categories: Quotes of the day, Stephen Colbert
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Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a
president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.
-David
Letterman
California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman has released a new TV ad
in both Mandarin and Cantonese. This is part of her effort to reach out
to the Asian community. That's how California works, where a white woman
from back East, trying to replace an Austrian governor, runs an ad in
Chinese to explain to people why she hired a Mexican maid.
-Jay
Leno
Christine O'Donnell's new ad says she didn't go to Yale, like her
opponent. I don't think she really needs to tell us that.
-Jay Leno
Categories: Quotes of the day
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When Jesse Ventura is the voice of reason, we're all doomed...
Categories: First Amendment, Signs of the Apocalypse, Video, YouTube
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Every generation, Western civilization is invaded by barbarians; we call them "children."
Generally speaking, violence always arises out of impotence. It is the hope of those who have no power.
In order to go on living one must try to escape the death involved in perfectionism.
Political questions are far too serious to be left to the politicians.
The hypocrite's crime is that he bears false witness against himself.
The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution.
The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.
There are no dangerous thoughts; thinking itself is dangerous.
War has... become a luxury which only the small nations can afford.
-Hannah Arendt (October 14, 1906 - December 4, 1975)
Categories: Quotes of the day
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Evans and Sutherland's "Digistar System" and "Picture System" were used to generate the star field images and tactical screens used on various ship displays in 1982's Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. John Warnock, one of the "Picture System" designers, left Evans and Sutherland shortly after the film's production. He co-founded a software company that developed and marketed a programming language utilizing technology originally created for rendering the vector graphic-based displays. The company was Adobe, and the software was PostScript.
Categories: Star Trek
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Bea Benaderet (April 4, 1906 - October 13, 1968)
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I can't help but wonder if the person who gave Shetland Sheepdogs the nickname "shelties" was dyslexic. Shouldn't they be "shetlies?"
Categories: Questions for the Ages
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Americans have a tendency to think the problem with politics lies with
their candidates and not themselves. The truth is Americans deserve the
blame for the state of our politics and the state of our media.
-Jonah
Goldberg
Categories: Daily Show, Hypocrisy, Jon Stewart, Video, YouTube
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35 years ago today, Saturday Night Live debuts with guest host George Carlin.
Categories: George Carlin, SNL
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Now that Michael Vick is injured and can't compete on Sundays, he should be put down.
-Bill Maher
Categories: Quotes of the day
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Here's to you, Charlie.
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Christine O'Donnell released a commercial in which she says, "I'm not a
witch." That's pretty good, though not as effective as her opponent's
slogan, "I'm not Christine O'Donnell."
-Jimmy Fallon.
Categories: Quotes of the day
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The Illuminati amongst us (that would be my fellow computer people) know that Sunday will be a binary date day. Last Friday was also a binary date day. Binary dates are those composed exclusively of zeros and ones (ala 10/01/10, or 01/01/01). Binary dates tend to appear exclusively in the early parts of centuries. I was too young to appreciate the last century. I expect to be too old to appreciate the next century. So I'm doing my best to appreciate this century. This is why I noticed that Sunday, 10/10/10, is quite a significant binary date. To explain why will require at least two more paragraphs.
The Literati amongst us (that would be my fellow fans of the works of Douglas Adams), know that the original Earth was destroyed quite suddenly to make room for a pan-galactic bypass, and that only the dolphins (who weren't what they appeared to be), the mice (who really weren't here), and a few humans survived. The Earth we currently live on is a replacement, created as compensation, because the demolition contractors that destroyed the original Earth got the address wrong. We also know that the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything is (ready? drum roll....): 42. That's right; 42. A lesson in getting your questions to be, perhaps, more specific.
The reason for my concern is that Sundays binary date, 10/10/10, when converted to decimal is (ready? drum roll...): 42. That's right; 42. Coincidence you might say. Arbitrary you might say. Did you know that astronomers and physicists have recently re-computed the Hubble Constant (a value that helps explain The Universe), and have concluded that the best approximation available for this value is (ready? drum roll...): 42. That's right; 42. Another coincidence? I think not.
Now I'm not suggesting that the Earth will be destroyed this Sunday by some directionally challenged demolition contractor. Nor am I suggesting that the whole concept of coincidences is a palliative invention of the human psyche. But, just in case (after all, I was a Boy Scout ), I'll be keeping a towel (and a hip flask) handy all day. You've been warned. Good luck!
Peace, Love, and Precision Guidance,
jim
(Jim Sorrells is a Sr. Consultant, Principal, and Co-Founder of JSA Computer Systems Inc. located in beautiful Arneytown NJ. His research interests are Forensic Analysis of Large Scale Organizational Failures, Aesthetic Arrangement of Cellulose Based Structural Materials, and Qualitative Evaluations of Grain and Other Exotic Organic Distillates. He holds an MS in Electrical Engineering from Rutgers University.)
Categories: History
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Foreclosure fraud is rampant- thousands are losing their homes. With one in ten mortgages in foreclosure, you probably know someone facing this situation. Spread the news, and don't let it happen to them...
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It was 53 years ago today that the Soviet Union launched Sputnik-I into orbit atop a launch vehicle originally designed to lob an intercontinental ballistic missile at the United States.
In less than a dozen years, the US responded by developing scores of new technologies, culminating in the Apollo program that successfully landed men on the moon and returned them safely to earth.
I like to use this example when I hear claims that the federal government is a huge, incompetent bureaucracy incapable of managing complex challenges.
But what would happen if we were faced with a similar challenge today?
It's difficult to be optimistic, given the condition of our schools and the loss of most of our manufacturing capability. Worse, the American spirit, once concerned with the quaint concept of "the greater good," has been transmogrified. It now seems to consist of nothing more than for-profit jingoism. Our national goal is for individuals to make a fortune with minimal effort- preferably by playing the system- while avoiding the payment of taxes.
While watching satellite tv, of course.
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To some, the Bible is like a software license. They don't actually read
it, they just scroll to the bottom and click "agree."
-Unattributed
Categories: Quotes of the day
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Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx (October 2, 1890 - August 19, 1977)
(Lydia the Tattooed Lady was written by Harold Arlen and Yip Harburg, who also wrote the music for the classic film The Wizard of Oz)
Categories: Music, Video, YouTube
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Television hangs on the questionable theory that whatever happens anywhere
should be sensed everywhere. If everyone is going to be able to see everything,
in the long run all sights may lose whatever rarity value they once possessed,
and it may well turn out that people, being able to see and hear practically
everything, will be specially interested in almost nothing.
E.B. White (July 11, 1899 – October 1, 1985)
Categories: Quotes of the day
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