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Republican Idiocracy
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Published Sunday, October 16, 2022 @ 4:14 AM EDT
Oct 16 2022

"Part of the appeal of a Herschel Walker, or a Donald Trump, or any number of egregious assholes that Republicans have backed is, in their mind, the worse a candidate is, the more it says to Democrats, 'Do you see how much we don't like what you're selling?' All that socialism, and identity politics, and victimhood, and oversensitivity, and cancel culture, and white self-loathing, and forcing complicated ideas about race and sex on kids too young to understand; literally, anything would be better than that.

"That's their view. That's why you can be a really bad dude in Republican politics... and it's not a deal breaker. Judge Roy Moore was in his thirties when he was still going to the mall and picking up teenage girls. Eric Greitens was Missouri governor and then this year a Senate candidate despite the fact that his ex-wife said that he beat her. And the kids. And he was charged with tying up a woman he was having an affair with, taking nude pictures and threatening to blackmail her with them. I mean, Andrew Cuomo was creepy but there was no begging to be untied. Al Franken took a gag picture but he didn't go Phil Spector on anybody.

"This is a clear difference between the parties. Democrats also think the other side is an existential threat, but their response is not to nominate sickos to make a point. If it was, they'd have a guy to fit the bill: [photo of former Congressman Anthony Weiner taking a semi-nude selfie]. But they don't nominate him because that would just be trolling..."

Watch the entire video. Maher concludes by explaining why Republicans have no problem running candidates with serious moral or ethical issues. And the scary thing is, it makes some degree of sense.


Categories: Al Franken, Andrew Cuomo, Anthony Weiner, Bill Maher, Democrats, Eric Greitens, New Rules, Phil Spector, Roy Moore


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Collapses, shortages, excess heat, Democratic burritos, hailstone margaritas
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Published Wednesday, June 30, 2021 @ 12:17 AM EDT
Jun 30 2021

Condo owners in Surfside building were facing assessments for $15 million worth of repairs. Payments were set to begin a week after the building's deadly fall.

Gas stations are running out of gas ahead of the holiday weekend. It's the shortage of tank truck drivers coupled with rising demand that is causing supply chain bottlenecks and shortages. Experts say a growing number of stations are reporting that they are simply not able to get gas delivered- at any price.

Hotter than the human body can handle: Pakistan city broils in world’s highest temperatures (126°F) (Video)

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From Crazytown:

70 percent

Blame Democrats for the rise in Chipotle burrito prices. (Video)

Out-of-practice Trump forgets to strand rally crowd in parking lot. (Andy Borowitz)

What underlies the G.O.P. commitment to ignorance? Closed-mindedness and ignorance have become core conservative values, and those who reject these values are the enemy, no matter what they may have done to serve the country.

Trump Organization sues New York City for closing golf course after January 6 riots. That could be a big mistake.

Tucker Carlson says 'Biden administration is spying' on him. The television personality offered no additional evidence to support his claim, which drew scrutiny from several users on social media.

Giuliani son gets no votes from Republican leaders in bid for New York governor. Andrew Giuliani, who has traded off his surname, embarrassed by poll that indicates Lee Zeldin will challenge Andrew Cuomo.

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KGB's daily agglomeration of stuff I find interesting:

Among other things, today is

On this date:

Birthdays

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Miscellany

A record-breaking hailstone fell near San Antonio. A bigger one went into margaritas.

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KGB Cap
KGB Merch


Categories: Climate change, Covid-19, Democrats, Donald Trump, Environment, Fox News, Republicans, Rudy Giuliani, Shortages, Superman, Surfside collapse, The Big Lie, Tucker Carlson


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Inflation, cybercrime, another ocean, Toobin returns, misremembering the Alamo
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Published Friday, June 11, 2021 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Jun 11 2021

(Note: KGB Report will be on vacation until June 28)

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Another jump in prices tightens the squeeze on US consumers. And Deutsche Bank issues dire economic warning for America. If the U.S. economy descends into an inflation spiral like that experienced after World War II, we could be on the brink of excruciating economic pain. As Donald Trump's more or less sole lender, they know about economic pain.

Why Democrats are voting on bills that have no chance of passing. A vote on the Paycheck Fairness Act this week marked the start of this process, which will soon include votes on a series of Democratic priorities that will likely fail. These votes are intended to demonstrate Democrats’ commitment to issues like voting rights protections and gun control, while underscoring how willing Republicans are to obstruct these policies.

Half of the pandemic's unemployment money may have been stolen. Criminals may have stolen as much as half of the unemployment benefits the U.S. has been pumping out over the past year, some experts say.

You know those scary television ads about Biden weaponizing the IRS? You really have nothing to worry about if you're a normal person or business. The plan is aimed at legally owed but uncollected taxes, which could total over $7 trillion over the next ten years.

These businesses found a way around the worker shortage: Raising wages to $15 an hour or more.

Study shows Bitcoin is actually traceable. The F.B.I.’s recovery of Bitcoins paid in the Colonial Pipeline ransomware attack showed cryptocurrencies are not as hard to track as it might seem. But ransomware rolls on: JBS says it paid $11 million ransom after cyberattack. And hacker known as Max is 55-year-old woman from Russia, US says.

National Geographic says there’s a fifth ocean on Earth. The 130-year-old exploration and education nonprofit marked World Oceans Day on Tuesday by declaring that the waters around Antarctica will now be known as the Southern Ocean - the planet’s fifth ocean.

Americans could be cut off from the internet over copyright claims. A court ruled that ISPs can avoid liability by kicking customers off the internet. The ruling is being challenged.

Well, this is awkward: Jeffrey Toobin is back at CNN eight months after exposing himself on Zoom.

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From Crazytown:

No, Trump's not delusional - it's actually much worse than that. Trump's Big Lie about the election and fantasies of "reinstatement" aren't delusional. They're devious strategies./p>

21 QAnon-linked candidates are running for office in 2022. Newsweek asked them about Q. Lots of fun evasions here.

Gohmert asks if federal agencies can change Earth's or moon's orbits to fight climate change. "Did the tree lady call back with the moon answer?" (Video)

Poll: US image abroad rebounds sharply with Biden in office. In 12 of the surveyed countries, a median of 75% expressed confidence in Biden, compared with 17% for Trump in 2020. A median of 62% across 12 nations had a favorable overall opinion of the U.S., while only 34% held that view last year.

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KGB's daily agglomeration of stuff I find interesting:

Among other things, today is

On this date:

  • 1742 - Benjamin Franklin invented his Franklin stove
  • 1776 - The Continental Congress appointed Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Roger Sherman, and Robert R. Livingston to the Committee of Five to draft a declaration of independence.
  • 1920 - During the U.S. Republican National Convention in Chicago, U.S. Republican Party leaders gathered in a room at the Blackstone Hotel to come to a consensus on their candidate for the U.S. presidential election, leading United Press to coin the political phrase "smoke-filled room".
  • 1935 - Inventor Edwin Armstrong gave the first public demonstration of FM broadcasting in the United States at Alpine, New Jersey.
  • 1962 - Frank Morris, John Anglin and Clarence Anglin allegedly became the only prisoners to escape from the prison on Alcatraz Island.
  • 1963 - Alabama Governor George Wallace defiantly stood at the door of Foster Auditorium at the University of Alabama in an attempt to block two black students, Vivian Malone and James Hood, from attending that school. Later in the day, accompanied by federalized National Guard troops, they were able to register.
  • 1963 - Buddhist monk Thich Quang Duc self-immolated himself with gasoline in a busy Saigon intersection to protest the lack of religious freedom in South Vietnam.
  • 1963 - John F. Kennedy addressed Americans from the Oval Office proposing the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which would revolutionize American society by guaranteeing equal access to public facilities, ending segregation in education, and guaranteeing federal protection for voting rights. (Video)
  • 2001 - Timothy McVeigh was executed for his role in the Oklahoma City bombing.
  • 1937 - Marx Brothers' "A Day At The Races", was released in the US (Video)
  • 1982 - "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial" was released (Video)
  • 1993 - "Jurassic Park" released, sets box office weekend record of $502 million (Video)

Birthdays

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Miscellany

Dog ejected from vehicle in Idaho crash found herding sheep.

We've been telling the Alamo story wrong for nearly 200 years. Now it's time to correct the record. Thank heavens John Wayne isn't around to hear this...

Ice block containing frozen poo crashes into the street from passing airplane. At least it wasn't alien.

Automobile semiconductors, meat, wood products, food service employees... what next? Glad you asked: New Orleans strip club offering contract bonuses due to exotic dancer shortage.

Signs of the Apocalypse: Crocs with stiletto heels.

Zombie sea slugs (video) and dangerous little ticks.

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KGB Cap
KGB Merch


Categories: Alamo, Bitcoin, CNN, Cryptocurrency, Democrats, Dogs, Donald Trump, Environment, Filibuster, Inflation, Internet, IRS, Jeffrey Toobin, Joe Biden, Louie Gohmert, National Geographic, QAnon, Republicans, Taxes, The Big Lie, Unemployment


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Cicadas, reining in the crazy, nun embezzlement, Jesus gets an accountant
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Published Thursday, June 10, 2021 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Jun 10 2021

Reporters traveling to the United Kingdom for President Joe Biden's first overseas trip were delayed seven hours after their chartered plane was overrun by cicadas.

(Video) Rachel Maddow: GOP succeeds in wasting Democrats' time in power. You would think they would have learned something from the Obamacare debacle.

Jobless in PA livid over new unemployment system errors as state declares victory. When's the best time to migrate to a new system using an entirely different platform and paradigm? Probably not during a pandemic with a record number of claimaints. Duh.

Susan Collins sad that Joe Manchin has replaced her as most annoying Senator. "It's only fitting that the baton be passed to an obscure senator from West Virginia," she said. (Andy Borowitz)

Biden disliked Putin before it was cool. For more than 20 years, Joe Biden has questioned Vladimir Putin's true intentions.

US to buy 500 million Covid vaccine doses for world. But let's draw the line at free beer and lottery tickets, ok?

San Francisco may be first major US city to hit herd immunity, experts say. City still recording small number of Covid cases per day but they don't appear to be triggering wider outbreaks.

From Crazytown:

Trump returns as a diminished TV draw. Not having the nuclear codes kind of diminishes the drama, I guess...

QAnon at a crossroads: leaders try to rein in the crazy. With Q silent and Trump out of office, QAnon's heroes are trying to pump the brakes on the right's most popular nutty conspiracy theory.

'5G towers,' other conspiracies flourish at hearing on vaccine bill. "They can put a key on their forehead, it sticks. They can put spoons and forks all over them and they can stick, because now we think there's a metal piece to that. There's been people who have long suspected that there was some sort of an interface, yet to be defined interface, between what's being injected in these shots and all of the 5G towers." (Video)

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KGB's daily agglomeration of stuff I find interesting:

Among other things, today is

On this date:

Birthdays

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Miscellany

Rio de Janeiro's Christ statue: 'Thou shalt not bribe'. The Rio branch of the international accounting firm KPMG has signed an agreement with the administration of the Sanctuary of Christ the Redeemer to ensure operations are aboveboard.

Retired nun will plead guilty to stealing more than $835K from Catholic school ...to "pay for expenses that the order would not have approved, much less paid for, including large gambling expenses incurred at casinos and certain credit card charges..."

"Not a good day to get tacos..."two Florida men flying to get tacos when their small plane went down in the Everglades."

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KGB Cap
KGB Merch


Categories: Andy Borowitz, Cicadas, Clergy, Computers, Congress, Covid-19, Democrats, Donald Trump, Florida, Jesus, Joe Biden, Joe Manchin, QAnon, Rachel Maddow, Republicans, Susan Collins, Vladimir Putin


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Trump, dementia, asteroids, Twitter, laboring from home under duress.
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Published Wednesday, May 27, 2020 @ 12:00 AM EDT
May 27 2020

Today is Wednesday, May 27, the 148th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. 218 days remain until the end of the year.

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Among other things, today is Cellophane Tape Day, National Grape Popsicle Day, National Gray Day, National Senior Health & Fitness Day®, Nothing to Fear Day, Old-Time Player Piano Day, Sunscreen Protection Day, and World Product Day.

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On this day:

in 1837, American folk hero Wild Bill Hickock (d. August 2, 1876) was born.
in 1907, Silent Spring author Rachel Carson (d. April 14, 1964) was born. Quotes by Rachel Carson.
in 1911, Vincent Price (d. October 25, 1993) was born.
in 1911, Hubert H. Humphrey (d. January 13, 1978) was born. Quotes by Hubert H. Humphrey
in 1922, Christopher Lee (d. June 7, 2015) was born.
in 1923, Henry Kissinger was born. Quotes by Henry Kissinger
in 1933, Walt Disney's cartoon 3 Little Pigs was released. It won the Academy Award Best Animated film in 1934;
in 1934, Harlan Ellison (d. June 28, 2018) was born. Quotes by Harlan Ellison
in 1935, Lee Meriwether was born.
in 1936, Louis Gossett Jr. was born.
in 1937, the Golden Gate Bridge opened to pedestrian traffic.
in 1941, the German battleship Bismarck was sunk in the North Atlantic.
in 1962, the Centralia mine fire was ignited in the town's landfill above a coal mine. It could burn for another 250 years.
in 1995, actor Christopher Reeve (September 25, 1952 – October 10, 2004) was paralyzed from the neck down after falling from his horse in a riding competition in Culpeper, Virginia. Quotes by Christopher Reeve

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PSP Frontotemporal Dementia

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Where U.S. coronavirus cases are on the rise... Twenty U.S. states reported an increase in new cases of COVID-19 for the week ended May 24, up from 13 states in the prior week, as the death toll from the novel coronavirus approaches 100,000, according to a Reuters analysis.

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The coronavirus is deadliest where Democrats live. Democrats are far more likely to live in counties where the virus has ravaged the community, while Republicans are more likely to live in counties that have been relatively unscathed by the illness, though they are paying an economic price. Counties won by President Trump in 2016 have reported just 27 percent of the virus infections and 21 percent of the deaths — even though 45 percent of Americans live in these communities, a New York Times analysis has found.

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Remembering Sara Little Turnbull, whose bra cup design became the N95 mask.

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New hormone that stimulates sexual functions in fish could lead to novel infertility treatments in humans.

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Asteroid that doomed the dinosaurs struck earth at “deadliest possible” angle. Related: Meteor that blasted millions of trees in Siberia only 'grazed' Earth, new research says.

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Twitter refuses to remove Trump's false tweets, but in some cases has begun fact-checking them.

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America's unemployment numbers are stabilizing. That's not a good thing.

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Kate Mulgrew might 'move to Ireland' if Trump wins second term.

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McConnell: Talking about fifth coronavirus bill 'in the next month or so'.

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NOAA's outlook for US summer weather—and hurricane season... wet, dry, and windy.

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'Something isn't right': U.S. probes soaring beef prices. One hundred years ago, U.S. antitrust prosecutors broke down monopolies in meatpacking. But can they do it again?

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Thoughts of the day:

In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends.
-Charles Caleb Coulton

I was thinking that we all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.
-Peter De Vries

If you cast your bread upon the water and you have faith, you'll get back cash. If you don't have faith, you'll get soggy bread.
-Don King

Population density is a term that has two meanings.
-William W. Webb

Does history repeat itself, the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce? No, that's too grand, too considered a process. History just burps, and we taste again that raw-onion sandwich it swallowed centuries ago.
-Julian Barnes

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You are not working from home. You are laboring in confinement, under duress.

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Things are really rough out there.
Please consider donating to Feeding America
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Categories: Astronomy, Bismarck, Centralia Mine Fire, Christopher Lee, Christopher Reeve, Climate change, Covid-19, Democrats, Donald Trump, Frontotemporal Dementia, Golden Gate Bridge, Harlan Ellison, Henry Kissinger, Hubert H. Humphrey, Kate Mulgrew, Lee Meriwether, Louis Gossett Jr., Mitch McConnell, NOAA, Rachel Carson, Republicans, Three Little Pigs, Twitter, Unemployment, Vincent Price, Weather, Wild Bill Hickock


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I miss the good old days...
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Published Tuesday, May 15, 2018 @ 3:05 PM EDT
May 15 2018

...when the only election that mattered was the Democratic Primary.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
-Oscar Levant


Categories: Democrats, Elections, Republicans, The Daily KGB Report


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Bloomberg blasts Trump
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Published Friday, July 29, 2016 @ 8:57 PM EDT
Jul 29 2016

Of all the speeches given at the Democratic convention this week, Michael Bloomberg's was the most unexpected and compelling.

The former New York mayor's business empire is worth $46 billion, roughly ten times that of Donald Trump's, sp je's not intimidated by Trump's weath and influence You rarely hear billionaires bashing each other, but Bloomberg pulled no punches.

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Now, I'm not here as a member of any party, or to endorse any party platform. I am here for one reason, and one reason only: to explain why I believe it is my imperative that we elect Hillary Clinton as the next president of the United States. And to ask you to join with me in supporting her this November.

When the Founding Fathers arrived here in Philadelphia to forge a new nation, they didn't come as Democrats or Republicans, or to nominate a presidential candidate. They came as patriots who feared party politics. I know how they felt. I've been a Democrat, I've been a Republican, and I eventually became an independent because I don't believe either party has a monopoly on good ideas or strong leadership.

When I enter the voting booth each time, I look at the candidate, not the party label. I have supported elected officials from both sides of the aisle. Probably not many people in this room can say that, but I know there are many watching at home who can. And now, they are carefully weighing their choices. I understand their dilemma.

I know what it's like to have neither party fully represent my views or values. Too many Republicans wrongly blame immigrants for our problems, and they stand in the way of action on climate change and gun violence. Meanwhile, many Democrats wrongly blame the private sector for our problems, and they stand in the way of action on education reform and deficit reduction.

There are times when I disagree with Hillary. But whatever our disagreements may be, I've come here to say: We must put them aside for the good of our country. And we must unite around the candidate who can defeat a dangerous demagogue.

I believe it's the duty of all American citizens to make our voices heard by voting in this election. And, if you're not yet registered to vote, go online. Do it now. It's just too important to sit this out.

Now, we've heard a lot of talk in this campaign about needing a leader who understands business. I couldn't agree more. I've built a business and I didn't start it with a million-dollar check from my father. Because of my success in the private sector, I had the chance to run America's largest city for 12 years, governing in the wake of its greatest tragedy.

Today, as an independent, an entrepreneur, and a former mayor, I believe we need a president who is a problem solver, not a bomb thrower. Someone who can bring members of Congress together, to get things done. And I know Hillary Clinton can do that because I saw it firsthand.

I was elected mayor two months after 9/11, as a Republican- and I saw how Hillary Clinton worked with Republicans in Washington to ensure that New York got the help it needed to recover and rebuild. Throughout her time in the Senate, we didn't always agree- but she always listened. And that's the kind of approach we need in Washington today, and it just has to start in the White House.

Given my background, I've often encouraged business leaders to run for office because many of them share that same pragmatic approach to building consensus, but not all. Most of us who have created a business know that we're only as good as the way our employees, clients, and partners view us. Most of us don't pretend that we're smart enough to make every big decision by ourselves. And most of us who have our names on the door know that we're only as good as our word.

But not Donald Trump.

Throughout his career, Trump has left behind a well-documented record of bankruptcies, thousands of lawsuits, angry shareholders, and contractors who feel cheated, and disillusioned customers who feel ripped off. Trump says he wants to run the nation like he's run his business. God help us.

I'm a New Yorker, and New Yorkers know a con when we see one! Trump says he'll punish manufacturers that move to Mexico or China, but the clothes he sells are made overseas in low-wage factories. He says he wants to put Americans back to work, but he games the US visa system so he can hire temporary foreign workers at low wages. He says he wants to deport 11 million undocumented people, but he seems to have no problem in hiring them. What'd I miss here?!

Truth be told, the richest thing about Donald Trump is his hypocrisy. He wants you to believe that we can solve our biggest problems by deporting Mexicans and shutting out Muslims. He wants you to believe that erecting trade barriers will bring back good jobs. He's wrong on both counts.

We can only solve our biggest problems if we come together and embrace the freedoms that our Founding Fathers established right here in Philadelphia, which permitted our ancestors to create the great American exceptionalism that all of us now enjoy. Donald Trump doesn't understand that. Hillary Clinton does. And we can only create good jobs if we make smarter investments in infrastructure and do more to support small businesses. Not stiff them. Donald Trump doesn't understand that. Hillary Clinton does.

I understand the appeal of a businessman president. But Trump's business plan is a disaster in the making. He would make it harder for small businesses to compete, do great damage to our economy, threaten the retirement savings of millions of Americans, lead to greater debt and more unemployment, erode our influence in the world, and make our communities less safe.

The bottom line is: Trump is a risky, reckless, and radical choice. And we can't afford to make that choice.

Now, I know Hillary Clinton is not flawless; no candidate is. But she is the right choice- and the responsible choice- in this election. No matter what you may think about her politics or her record, Hillary Clinton understands that this is not reality television; this is reality. She understands the job of president. It involves finding solutions, not pointing fingers, and offering hope, not stoking fear.

Over the course of our country's proud history, we have faced our share of grave challenges, but we have never retreated in fear. Never. Not here in Philadelphia in 1776, not at Gettysburg in 1863, not through two World Wars and a Great Depression, not at Selma or Stonewall, and not after 9/11- and we must not start now.

America is the greatest country on Earth- and when people vote with their feet, they come here. The presidency of the United States is the most powerful office in the world, and so I say to my fellow independents: Your vote matters now. Your vote will determine the future of your job, your business, and our future together as a country.

To me, this election is not a choice between a Democrat and a Republican. It's a choice about who is better to lead our country right now: better for our economy, better for our security, better for our freedom, and better for our future.

There is no doubt in my mind that Hillary Clinton is the right choice this November. So tonight, as an independent, I am asking you to join with me- not out of party loyalty but out of love of country. And together, let's elect Hillary Clinton as the next president of the greatest country in the world, the United States of America.


Categories: Democrats, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Michael Bloomberg


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This about sums it up
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Published Sunday, July 17, 2016 @ 12:01 PM EDT
Jul 17 2016


Categories: Bernie Sanders, Democrats, Hillary Clinton, Politics


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Through the looking glass...
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Published Friday, March 18, 2016 @ 9:50 AM EDT
Mar 18 2016

This year's presidential election has the potential to be one of the greatest political trainwrecks in American history.

The founding fathers had a low opinion of the average citizen. That's why Presidents are selected by the Electoral College and not by popular vote.

The founders also didn't believe in partisan politics, which is why there's no mention of political parties in the Constitution, so the present method of primary elections, caucuses, and party conventions evolved erratically over the years.

While most savvy voters know the president and vice president aren't elected by popular vote, and that each party's nominees are selected by delegates attending national conventions, they may not know that, in most cases, those delegates can vote for whomever they want, regardless of the results of their state's primaries or caucuses after the first ballot. There are even five states and territories who don't hold primaries or caucuses, resulting in 112 delegates who can vote according to their personal preferences without direction from voters.

Consider the 1968 Democratic convention. Despite the fact that over 80 percent of primary voters had supported anti-Vietnam war candidates, the "peace" candidate, Senator Eugene McCarthy, was defeated by Vice President Hubert Humphrey, who had not competed in any of the primaries, instead gaining his delegates in caucus states that were controlled by party leaders.

The Humphrey business resulted in many- but not all- states to adopt rules where delegates are bound to vote for the winning candidate during the convention's first ballot. After that, it's a free-for-all.

The worst case scenario to date was the 1924 Democratic convention, a 16-day marathon that required 103 ballots to select a candidate. Wikipedia notes that during his 1960 campaign, John F. Kennedy cited the dilemma of the Massachusetts delegation at the 1924 convention when making light of his own campaign problems: "Either we must switch to a more liberal candidate or move to a cheaper hotel."

What could happen this year? Say Trump is nominated, despite the party's efforts to thwart his campaign. Disgruntled Republicans could put together a third-party ticket, in an effort to prevent any candidate from winning the absolute majority of 270 electoral votes necessary to win the general election.

Should that happen, the president would be chosen by that shining example of civic responsibility, the U.S. House of Representatives, composed of lame duck Congressmen, many with an axe to grind. The U.S. Senate gets to pick the vice president.

Could it come to that? Probably not. But the odds are good the Republicans will have a brokered convention, and the Democrats may have one as well, if Bernie Sanders can convince uncommitted superdelegates to take his side.


Categories: Congress, Democrats, Elections, Electoral College, Politics, Republicans, Voting


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Politics 3: Democrats
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Published Monday, February 29, 2016 @ 7:18 PM EST
Feb 29 2016

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.
-Alben W. Barkley

A choice between Democrats or Republicans is like a choice between paper or plastic.
-Kinky Friedman

A Democrat will plunge into a raging water to save a victim in distress. A Republican will stay on the shore and explain that it's really in the victim's best interest to save himself.
-Bob Levey

A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
-Harry S. Truman

As a rule, large capitalists are Republicans and small capitalists are Democrats, but workingmen must remember that they are all capitalists, and that the many small ones, like the fewer large ones, are all politically supporting their class interests, and this is always and everywhere the capitalist class.
-Eugene V. Debs

As people do better, they start voting like Republicans... unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing.
-Karl Rove

As to my political faith- I have never voted. My father was a Democrat, my mother a Republican, and I am an Episcopalian.
- George C. Marshall

Corrupted by wealth and power, your government is like a restaurant with only one dish. They've got a set of Republican waiters on one side and a set of Democratic waiters on the other side. But no matter which set of waiters brings you the dish, the legislative grub is all prepared in the same Wall Street kitchen.
-Huey P. Long

Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
-Andy Rooney

Eighty percent of Republicans are just Democrats who don't know what's going on.
-Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

Every time I think I'm a Republican they do something greedy, and every time I think I'm a Democrat, they do something stupid.
- Jay Leno

Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a Democratic administration.
-Jon Stewart

I am not a member of any organized party- I am a Democrat.
-Will Rogers

I don't believe the Democrats or Republicans are lying to us. I think that every dirty, rotten, lowdown thing they say about each other is true.
-A. Ray Lambson

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.
-Adlai E. Stevenson II

I think Democrats made a mistake running away from liberalism. Liberalism- Franklin Roosevelt, Harry Truman, John and Robert Kennedy- that's what the Democratic party ought to reach for.
-Theodore (Ted) Sorensen

I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache.
-Jack Mayberry

I was ashamed of being a Republican and afraid of being a Democrat.
-Robert W. Kenny

I was born as a Democrat because I was broke. But I started making money... so now I don't know what the hell to do.
-Marlon Wayans

I'd accuse the Democrats of being afraid of their own shadow, but I have yet to be convinced they actually cast one.
-Will Durst

It takes nerve to be a Democrat, but it takes money to be a Republican.
-Will Rogers

On The Twilight Zone, I knew that I could get away with Martians saying things that Republicans and Democrats couldn't.
-Rod Serling

Republicans are afraid someone, somewhere, might be having fun. Democrats are afraid someone, somewhere, might be making money.
-Variously attributed

Republicans are against abortion until their daughters need one, Democrats are for abortion until their daughter wants one.
- Grace McGarvie

Republicans say that Democrats want a huge, monolithic federal institution that will compromise personal liberty and freedom by controlling individuals' lives with intrusive policies and a dictatorial agenda. Republicans, of course, believe that is the job of organized religion.
-Dennis Miller

The American people are sick and tired of this 'lesser evil' garbage they get fed every election year. Both the Democrats and the Republicans do the same evils once they're in office.
-Roseanne Barr

The bumper sticker I'm going to have printed up for Democrats this year is, 'We're not perfect, but they're nuts.'
-Barney Frank

The common people of America display a quality of good common sense which is heartening to anyone who believes in the democratic process.
-George Gallup

The conventional rules of Beltway journalism... divide the world into Democrats and Republicans, liberals and conservatives, and allow journalists to pretend they have done their job if instead of reporting the truth behind the news, they merely give each side an opportunity to spin the news.
-Bill Moyers

The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring himself in the mirror.
-Kinky Friedman

The Democrats don't want anyone to be born, but if you are, they will take care of you from the cradle to the grave. The Republicans don't mind if you are born, if you assure them that you don't plan to live long enough to collect your Social Security.
-Mort Sahl

The difference between Democrats and Republicans is: Democrats have accepted some ideas of Socialism cheerfully, while Republicans have accepted them reluctantly.
-Norman Thomas

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
-Oscar Levant

The only difference I ever found between the Democratic leadership and the Republican leadership is that one of them is skinning you from the ankle up and the other, from the ear down.
-Huey P. Long

The only way to win an election by a greater margin than Saddam Hussein in Iraq is to be a Democratic candidate in Chicago.
- John Alejandro King (The Covert Comic)

The Republican and Democratic parties, or, to be more exact, the Republican-Democratic party, represent the capitalist class in the class struggle. They are the political wings of the capitalist system and such differences as arise between them relate to spoils and not to principles.
-Eugene V. Debs

The Republicans believe the wagon train will not make it to the frontier unless some of our old, some of our young, and some of our weak are left behind by the side of the trail. We Democrats believe that we can make it all the way with the whole family intact.
- Mario Cuomo

There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen.
-Variously attributed

There is no Democratic or Republican way of cleaning the streets.
-Fiorello LaGuardia

We elect Democrats to the Congress to give us stuff and we elect Republicans to the White House so we don't have to pay for it.
- Charlie McDowell

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.
-Bill Maher

When the Democrats form a firing squad, they stand in a circle.
-Mort Sahl

When, in the late 1940s, we faced a global Cold War against another system of ideological fanatics certain that their authoritarian values would eventually rule the world, we prevailed in time. We prevailed because we exercised patience as well as vigilance, self-restraint as well as self-defense, and reached out to moderates and modernists, to democrats and dissidents, within that closed system.
-Theodore (Ted) Sorensen

With exceptions so rare they are regarded as miracles of nature, successful democratic politicians are insecure and intimidated men.
-Walter Lippmann

You have to have been a Republican to know how good it is to be a Democrat.
-Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

You've got to be optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one.
-Will Rogers

You've got to pity the poor Democrats in Congress. Most of them are on record against capital punishment, since they naturally don't want to diminish their constituent base.
-Wes Pruden


Categories: Democrats, Politics, Quotes of the day, Quotes on a topic


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