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The corporate tax rate is irrelevant when corporations don't pay taxes
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Published Tuesday, March 29, 2011 @ 7:39 AM EDT
Mar 29 2011


Categories: Daily Show, Jon Stewart, WTF?, YouTube


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The nuclear debate
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Published Sunday, March 27, 2011 @ 5:19 PM EDT
Mar 27 2011

This 1979 clip from NBC's Saturday Night Light shows that some things never change...

The format is a parody of the Point/Counterpoint segment of CBS' 60 Minutes, in which Shana Alexander and James Kirkpatrick would engage in a short, well-mannered debate on topical subjects. It became a recurring feature on SNL's Weekend Update until founding cast members Akroyd and Curtin left the show. The phrase "Jane, you ignorant slut" became a part of the national zeitgeist.


Categories: Classic, SNL, Snrk, Video, YouTube


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Political Jokes of the Week
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Published Saturday, March 26, 2011 @ 12:05 AM EDT
Mar 26 2011

Recent late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog on About.com.

Tea Party candidate Michele Bachmann said the Revolutionary War started in New Hampshire when it really started in Massachusetts. Interesting that a woman who believes so strongly in states rights can't get her states right.
-Jay Leno

Hillary Clinton visited Egypt today for the first time since the uprising. When asked why she went, Bill Clinton said, "Believe me, if anyone can stop an uprising, it's Hillary."
-Jimmy Fallon

We're at war? Again? Don't we already have two? Wars aren't like kids, where you don't have to worry about the youngest one because the other two will take care of it.
-Jon Stewart

It's one humiliation after another for Moammar Gadhafi. First his own people started rising up against him, then his compound was bombed, and now he's getting beaten up by the French.
-Jay Leno

The Pentagon says that U.S. operations in Libya are limited and have a definite end date. I don't believe that. We still have troops in Germany.
-Jay Leno

Did you see the footage of French planes bombing Libya? The planes look brand new, like they've never been used before.
-Jay Leno

Germany has pulled its forces out of NATO over Libya. When the Germans don't want to fight and the French do, the whole world is upside down.
-Jay Leno

We're fighting three wars now. Imagine how many we'd be fighting if President Obama hadn't won the Nobel Peace Prize.
-Jay Leno

According to reports, Gadhafi is surrounded by an elite corps of female bodyguards, all of whom are virgins. In a related story, today Charlie Sheen invaded Libya.
-Conan O'Brien

The name of the U.S. operation in Libya is 'Odyssey Dawn.' It's the first military action to be named by Crabtree & Evelyn.
-Conan O'Brien

When the Obamas were in Chile their President said, 'I think the First Lady of the United States is very good-looking.' So now we're at war with Chile. Operation Lavender Mist.
-Conan O'Brien

On a trip to Israel, Sarah Palin asked the Israelis why they're apologizing all the time. They responded saying, 'Because we told everyone Tina Fey was coming.'
-Conan O'Brien

The NAACP is taking a greater interest in attracting leaders from the gay community. This explains their new name, the 'National Association for the Advancement of Color-Coordinated People.'
-Conan O'Brien

Gadhafi said his people 'love him.' I think that's what he said. It was hard to hear over the rebel gunfire.
-David Letterman

Donald Trump says he will run for president. He'll have to find a cabinet position for that thing on his head.
-David Letterman

Trump says that if he's elected, he won't let the presidency interfere with the Miss Universe pageant.
-David Letterman

How would Trump travel as president? Obviously, he'd use Hair Force One.
-David Letterman

Charlie Sheen is still a big story because, honestly, none of us know where Libya is.
-Jimmy Kimmel

President Obama has to cut his trip to Latin America short because of the situation in Libya- and to check on his NCAA brackets.
-Jimmy Kimmel

No one can agree on how to spell Gadhafi's name. He's like the Hanukkah of dictators.
-Jimmy Kimmel

President Obama is cutting his trip to Latin America short by a few hours because of the situation in Libya. So to everyone who said Obama didn't care about Libya, you're wrong. He cares three hours' worth.
-Jimmy Fallon

A man in Texas used his obituary to ask for donations to anyone running against Obama in 2012. And then his ghost was offered a nightly show on Fox News.
-Jimmy Fallon

Hillary Clinton said that Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is engaged in 'theater.' Which explains the new strategy to defeat him: casting him as the lead in 'Spider-Man: the Musical.'
-Jimmy Fallon


Categories: Jon Stewart, Political Jokes of the Week


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Remembering Howard Cosell
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Published Friday, March 25, 2011 @ 5:14 AM EDT
Mar 25 2011

Howard Cosell (March 25, 1918 - April 23, 1995) makes an appearance in Woody Allen's 1973 film, "Sleeper."


Categories: Video, YouTube


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Quote of the day
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Published Thursday, March 24, 2011 @ 6:43 PM EDT
Mar 24 2011

A melancholy lesson of advancing years is the realization that you can’t make old friends.
-Christopher Hitchens


Categories: Christopher Hitchens, Quotes of the day


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Trump!
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Published Wednesday, March 23, 2011 @ 8:35 AM EDT
Mar 23 2011

Lewis Black thinks Donald Trump has what it takes to be the crazy third-world dictator that America needs.


Categories: Daily Show, Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, Video


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Quote of the day
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Published Tuesday, March 22, 2011 @ 8:17 AM EDT
Mar 22 2011

You can't simultaneously fire teachers and Tomahawk missiles.
-Jon Stewart


Categories: Daily Show, Jon Stewart, Quotes of the day


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Almost forgot...
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Published Tuesday, March 22, 2011 @ 7:34 AM EDT
Mar 22 2011

William Shatner is 80 today. His toupée is 47.


Categories: Star Trek, William Shatner


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Hope
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Published Monday, March 21, 2011 @ 7:06 AM EDT
Mar 21 2011

Hope
Chris Hedges

Hope, from now on, will look like this.

Hope will not come in trusting in the ultimate goodness of Barack Obama, who, like Herod of old, sold out his people. It will not be realized by chanting packaged campaign slogans or attempting to influence the Democratic Party. It will not come through our bankrupt liberal institutions- from the press, to the withered stump that is the labor movement.

Hope will only come now when we physically defy the violence of the state. All who resist, all who are here today, keep hope alive. All who succumb to fear, despair and apathy become an enemy of hope. They become, in their passivity, agents of injustice.

It is not having a positive attitude or pretending that happy thoughts and false optimism will make the world better. Hope is not about chanting packaged campaign slogans or trusting in the better nature of the Democratic Party. Hope does not mean that our protests will suddenly awaken the dead consciences, the atrophied souls, of the plutocrats running Halliburton, Goldman Sachs, ExxonMobil or the government.

If the enemies of hope are finally victorious in this nation, the poison of violence will become not only the language of power but the language of opposition. And those who resist with nonviolence are the last thin line of defense between a civil society and its disintegration.

Hope has a cost. Hope is not comfortable or easy. Hope requires personal risk. It is not about the right attitude. Hope is not about peace of mind. Hope is action. Hope is doing something. The more futile, the more useless, the more irrelevant and incomprehensible an act of rebellion is, the vaster and more potent hope becomes.

Hope never makes sense. Hope is weak, unorganized and absurd. Hope, which is always nonviolent, exposes in its powerlessness, the lies, fraud and coercion employed by the state. Hope knows that an injustice visited on our neighbor is an injustice visited on all of us. Hope posits that people are drawn to the good by the good. This is the secret of hope's power. Hope demands for others what we demand for ourselves. Hope does not separate us from them. Hope sees in our enemy our own face.

Hope is not for the practical and the sophisticated, the cynics and the complacent, the defeated and the fearful. Hope is what the corporate state which saturates our airwaves with lies seeks to obliterate. Hope is what this corporate state is determined to crush. Be afraid, they tell us. Surrender your liberties to us so we can make the world safe from terror. Don't resist. Embrace the alienation of our cheerful conformity. Buy our products. Without them you are worthless. Become our brands. Do not look up from your electronic hallucinations. No. Above all do not think. Obey.

The powerful do not understand hope. Hope is not part of their vocabulary. They speak in the cold, dead words of national security, global markets, electoral strategy, staying on message, image and money. The powerful protect their own. They divide the world into the damned and the blessed, the patriots and the enemy, the privileged and the weak. They insist that extinguishing lives in foreign wars or in our prison complexes is a form of human progress.

They cannot see that the suffering of a child in Kandehar or a child in the blighted urban pocket of our nation's capitol diminishes and impoverishes us all. They are deaf, dumb and blind to hope. Those addicted to power, enthralled by self-exaltation, cannot decipher the words of hope any more than most of us can decipher hieroglyphics.

Hope to Wall Street bankers and politicians, to the masters of war and commerce, is not practical. It is gibberish. It means nothing. And this is because they kneel before the idols of greed and money.

If we resist and carry out acts, no matter how small, of open defiance, hope will not be extinguished. If all we accomplish today is to assure a grieving mother in Baghdad or Afghanistan, a young man or woman crippled physically and emotionally by the hammer blows of war, that he or she is not alone, our act will be successful. But hope cannot be sustained if it cannot be seen.

Any act of rebellion, any physical defiance of those who make war, of those who perpetuate corporate greed and are responsible for state crimes, anything that seeks to draw the good to the good, nourishes our souls and holds out the possibility that we can touch and transform the souls of others. Hope affirms that which we must affirm. And every act that imparts hope is a victory in itself.

(from Auden)
Defenseless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light

Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages:
May I, composed like them
Of Eros and of dust,

Beleaguered by the same
Negation and despair,
Show an affirming flame.


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Quote of the day
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Published Sunday, March 20, 2011 @ 6:53 AM EDT
Mar 20 2011

Governing this country with the Republicans is like rooming with a meth addict. You want to address real-life problems like when the rent is due, and they're saying, "How could you even think of that stuff when there's police scanner voices coming out of the air conditioning unit?!"
-Bill Maher


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Observation of the day
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Published Saturday, March 19, 2011 @ 1:48 PM EDT
Mar 19 2011

I've come to the realization that gray is the mature form of blond.


Categories: KGB Opinion


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Post Top-Secret
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Published Friday, March 18, 2011 @ 1:50 AM EDT
Mar 18 2011

The Covert Comic does it again:


Categories: Covert Comic


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Quote of the day
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Published Thursday, March 17, 2011 @ 12:01 PM EDT
Mar 17 2011

The greatest cause for optimism about Japan is that it’s full of Japanese.
-Dennis Mangan


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Information and performance art
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Published Thursday, March 17, 2011 @ 11:55 AM EDT
Mar 17 2011

Another good reason to avoid local television news.


Categories: Video


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Quote of the day
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Published Tuesday, March 15, 2011 @ 5:14 PM EDT
Mar 15 2011

Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good or evil. But you still don't want to get any on you.
-Scott Adams


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Hype and misinformation
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Published Monday, March 14, 2011 @ 8:56 AM EDT
Mar 14 2011

The breathless, edge-of-the-apocalypse reporting about the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear failures in Japan by the US media is mostly wrong. For a true perspective of what's going on, I recommend watching Japan's NHK World English feed. You can reach it by going to CNN's home page and clicking on the LIVE: Coverage from Japan link. Too bad no one at CNN itself is apparently watching it.

Other more balanced perspectives can be found here and here.

I've completely written off American news coverage. Line-parroting corporate shills really come up short when there's real news to cover.


Categories: KGB Opinion


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Quote of the day
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Published Thursday, March 10, 2011 @ 7:18 AM EST
Mar 10 2011

This is worse than divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth–and I still have my wife.
-Warren Buffett, quoting an anonymous investor in the Wall Street Journal re: latest recession and market crash (via Bruce, the Sanity Inspector on the alt.quotations Usenet newsgroup.)


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Portrait in concentration
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Published Wednesday, March 09, 2011 @ 3:17 AM EST
Mar 09 2011

Pumpkin notices the new aquarium contains more than air bubbles.


Categories: Animals, Cats, KGB Family


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Quote of the day
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Published Monday, March 07, 2011 @ 6:48 AM EST
Mar 07 2011

For a while I thought I was bisexual, but only because I tend to get "bi-" and "semi-" mixed up.
-The Covert Comic


Categories: Covert Comic, Quotes of the day


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Quote of the day
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Published Saturday, March 05, 2011 @ 5:22 AM EST
Mar 05 2011

When you make stupid into an art form, it's not stupid anymore. We just found out that the "Sarah Palin" who writes Sarah Palin's Facebook page is a fake, but the real Sarah Palin has her own Facebook page, under a fake name. And sometimes the real/fake Sarah Palin praises the work of the fake/real Sarah Palin. It's like Inception for hillbillies.
-Bill Maher


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Amen.
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Published Friday, March 04, 2011 @ 3:17 PM EST
Mar 04 2011


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Happy birthday, Scotty!
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Published Thursday, March 03, 2011 @ 12:51 AM EST
Mar 03 2011

Although he died on July 20, 2005- the 36th anniversary of the first manned moon landing- Jimmy Doohan is and will remain immortal, thanks to his portrayal of Montgomery Scott, Star Trek's iconic chief engineer.

His fans are legion and include the first human to walk on the moon, engineer and astronaut Neil Armstrong. Notorious for avoiding the public eye, the reclusive astronaut nonetheless attended a 2004 Star Trek convention marking Doohan's last public appearance. Shaking the actor's hand, Armstrong said, "From one old engineer to another- thanks, mate."

Here's a eulogy to Scotty, and a great story I heard Doohan recount at a Trek Convention in Pittsburgh in the late 80s.

When I think of Scotty, I don't recall a wheelchair-bound Alzheimer victim being honored by fans at a sad farewell event. Here's how I remember him:

Instead of using aft thrusters, the U.S.S. Enterprise muscles out of spacedock at one-quarter impulse power. Mr. Scott is amused. The ensign, not so much. (from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, ©1991 Paramount Pictures Corp.)


Categories: Jimmy Doohan, Star Trek


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In Performance at the White House: The Motown Sound
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Published Wednesday, March 02, 2011 @ 9:01 AM EST
Mar 02 2011

This is one of the reasons that two-thirds of Americans- including 58% of Republicans- don't want Congress to defund the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. Thanks, PBS!


Categories: Music, Video


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Happy birthday, Sassafras!
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Published Wednesday, March 02, 2011 @ 6:53 AM EST
Mar 02 2011

Happy birthday to Sassy, the youngest of our pack of Shetland Sheepdogs.


Categories: Dogs, KGB Family


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Quote of the day
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Published Wednesday, March 02, 2011 @ 1:16 AM EST
Mar 02 2011

I’m not convinced that faith can move mountains, but I’ve seen what it can do to skyscrapers.
–William H. Gascoyne


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Observation of the day
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Published Tuesday, March 01, 2011 @ 7:53 AM EST
Mar 01 2011

If you review the hundreds of public opinion polls taken every year, you'll discover that roughly 20 to 30 percent of the population is against everything, regardless of the question. Or, to use the technical term, batsh*t crazy. I like to refer to this as The Batsh*t Constant.

And the reason politics and television are so screwed up? We keep electing them to public office and giving them television shows.


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