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Things you really don't want to receive in the mail, #22
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Published Friday, April 30, 2010 @ 12:08 PM EDT
Apr 30 2010

They have to come up with a better name. How many retired 55 year olds do you know?

I'm never going to retire. One day they'll just find me face-down on my keyboa

>>>thud


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Quote of the day
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Published Friday, April 30, 2010 @ 8:38 AM EDT
Apr 30 2010

By the way, Sarah Palin, if you're watching, how is that offshore drilling working out for ya?
-David Letterman


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Quote of the day
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Published Thursday, April 29, 2010 @ 7:50 AM EDT
Apr 29 2010

"NY-Based Makers Of AriZona Tea Caught Up In Misguided Boycott." Oh no! That's what happens when you name your product after another place, as learned the hard way by the old Auschwitz Ice Cream Company.
-Elayne Boosler


Categories: Elayne Boosler, Quotes of the day


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The Ultimate Apple Ad
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Published Thursday, April 29, 2010 @ 12:18 AM EDT
Apr 29 2010

(from thewarp.org))


Categories: Photo of the day


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Quote of the day
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Published Wednesday, April 28, 2010 @ 12:01 AM EDT
Apr 28 2010

I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another where the best fruit is.
-Terry Pratchett (b. 4/28/1948)


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Quote of the day
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Published Tuesday, April 27, 2010 @ 12:01 AM EDT
Apr 27 2010

I don't argue with people about their religious beliefs for the same reason I don't go around telling little kids there's no Santa Claus. Kids who believe in Santa try to be good in the hope they'll eventually be rewarded. There's no downside. I'm just relieved there's no jihadist Muslim Santa.
-Kevin G. Barkes


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Targeted advertising, indeed
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Published Monday, April 26, 2010 @ 12:01 AM EDT
Apr 26 2010


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Scientific study of the day
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Published Sunday, April 25, 2010 @ 11:21 AM EDT
Apr 25 2010

A study revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. If she is menstruating or menopausal, she is more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected.
(via MJ Wuijts McNeill)


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Shameless promotion
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Published Saturday, April 24, 2010 @ 12:43 AM EDT
Apr 24 2010

My daughter now has business cards
to accompany her new real estate license!


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April 23
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Published Friday, April 23, 2010 @ 12:01 AM EDT
Apr 23 2010

Significant births on this date:

William Shakespeare
William Penn
James Buchanan
Stephen A. Douglas
Max Planck
Janet Blair
Shirley Temple
Roy Orbison
Lee Majors
Sandra Dee
Michael Moore
Valerie Bertinelli
Melina Kanakaredes
Kal Penn
John Oliver

and my granddaughter, Leanna Renée Salopek, who's seven today.

I'm giving her an acute accent. Because she's-a cute.











Not only is she cute, she's a high honor student.

We know where she got the brains; it's the red hair that's the puzzlement.


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Glen Campbell is 74 today
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Published Thursday, April 22, 2010 @ 12:01 AM EDT
Apr 22 2010

Glen Campbell isn't just a country/pop star from the 60s and 70s- he was one of the most accomplished and in-demand studio musicians of the era. Campbell's work can be heard on hit recordings by Bobby Darin, Ricky Nelson, The Kingston Trio, Merle Haggard, The Monkees, Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, The Troggs, Frankie Laine, The Association, Jan & Dean, and The Mamas & the Papas.

Campbell was a touring member of The Beach Boys, filling in for Brian Wilson in 1964 and 1965 playing bass guitar and singing falsetto harmonies. He played guitar on the group's Pet Sounds album, among other recordings. Other classics featuring his guitar playing include "Strangers in the Night" by Frank Sinatra, "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin" by The Righteous Brothers, and "I'm a Believer" by The Monkees. (via Wikipedia)

I remember watching his variety show in the 70s. As the clip above shows, he's still rolling along.


Categories: Music


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Quote of the day
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Published Wednesday, April 21, 2010 @ 12:01 AM EDT
Apr 21 2010

The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected.
-G.K. Chesterton, Illustrated London News, April 19, 1924


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"You idiots are paying more for cable tv than you do for clean water."
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Published Tuesday, April 20, 2010 @ 12:01 AM EDT
Apr 20 2010

 

True. Our water bill is $40 a month. Cable tv and internet? $210.


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Snrk.
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Published Monday, April 19, 2010 @ 9:53 AM EDT
Apr 19 2010


Categories: Snrk


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Quote of the day
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Published Sunday, April 18, 2010 @ 2:57 PM EDT
Apr 18 2010

Yes, the Boston tea party involved the seizure of tea in the ship because it was taxation without representation. This fight is about taxation by duly elected representatives that you don't happen to agree with and can vote out at the next election- and two years after that, and two years after that, and two years after that. That's very different.
-President Bill Clinton


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Tap, tap... is this thing on?
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Published Friday, April 16, 2010 @ 2:57 PM EDT
Apr 16 2010

Since Google is eliminating its Blogger service for those of us who want to keep our material on our own sites (and not on Blogspot servers), I have to convert kgbreport.com to another blogging platform.

Odd things may occur here in the next few weeks as I get familiar with the new software and try to jimmy things into place. Your patience is appreciated.


Categories: KGB Blog News


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Quote of the day
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Published Thursday, April 15, 2010 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Apr 15 2010

If Patrick Henry thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.
-The Farmer's Almanac


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Scrubbing otters
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Published Wednesday, April 14, 2010 @ 3:32 AM EDT
Apr 14 2010

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
That's Tariffic
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party


Categories: Daily Show


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Must Love Dogs
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Published Wednesday, April 14, 2010 @ 12:01 AM EDT
Apr 14 2010

 

(Ahh, a beagle/Jack Russell mix accompanied by Yakety Sax.)


Categories: Dogs


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Quote of the day
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Published Tuesday, April 13, 2010 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Apr 13 2010

In three months I've gone from network television to Twitter to performing live in theaters, and now I'm headed to basic cable. My plan is working perfectly.
-Conan O'Brien, in a TBS statement announcing his new show on the basic cable network.


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It could happen...
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Published Monday, April 12, 2010 @ 12:01 AM EDT
Apr 12 2010


Categories: SNL


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Classics: Zontar (SCTV)
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Published Saturday, April 10, 2010 @ 12:01 AM EDT
Apr 10 2010

With Dave Thomas as DeForest Kelley as Julia Child's husband.


Categories: Classic, SCTV


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Happy birthday, Tom Lehrer
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Published Friday, April 09, 2010 @ 1:16 AM EDT
Apr 09 2010

The legendary, unequaled satirist is 82 today.

 


Categories: Music


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So how's that maverick-y thing working out for you?
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Published Wednesday, April 07, 2010 @ 10:14 AM EDT
Apr 07 2010

 

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Say Anything
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorHealth Care Reform


Categories: Daily Show


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Don't mess with the granddaughter...
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Published Tuesday, April 06, 2010 @ 8:53 PM EDT
Apr 06 2010


Categories: KGB Family


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Quote of the day
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Published Monday, April 05, 2010 @ 10:29 AM EDT
Apr 05 2010

Oh, no. You can't fool me again. I'm not as blond as I used to be.
-Sara Kay Salopek


Categories: KGB Family, Quotes of the day


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Google rules
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Published Sunday, April 04, 2010 @ 12:01 AM EDT
Apr 04 2010


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It's that time again...
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Published Saturday, April 03, 2010 @ 2:05 PM EDT
Apr 03 2010

The Ten Commandments (1956)
ABC: Saturday, April 3 7:00 PM EDT
1956, G, ***1/2, 03:40, Color, HD, English, United States

Moses (Charlton Heston) leads an exodus of those wacky Children of Abraham from Egypt to the Promised Land, complete with a pre-cgi -yet still unequalled- parting of the Red Sea, matte lines and all. Hilarity ensues as The Lord leads Moe and the gang on a 40-year meander through the desert, climaxing in Moses' demise just before their arrival in the only country in the Mideast without significant petroleum reserves. And some claim God doesn't have a sense of humor.

Cast: Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, Edward G. Robinson, Anne Baxter, Yvonne De Carlo, Debra Paget, John Derek, Cedric Hardwicke, Nina Foch, Martha Scott, Judith Anderson, Vincent Price, John Carradine, Eduard Franz, Olive Deering, Donald Curtis, Douglas Dumbrille, Lawrence Dobkin, Frank DeKova. Watch for the cameo by Alfalfa of "The Little Rasacals."
Director(s): Cecil B. DeMille
Producer(s): Cecil B. DeMille

(I kid, but this is one of my favorite films and still the high-grossing film, adjusted for inflation, in its original release. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of airings I've missed since I've been a kid, even though I have it on laserdisc. For lots of interesting background and trivia on the making of this landmark film, go here, here, and here.

Great quotes:

Memnet: What have you found?
Bithiah: The answer to my prayers!
Memnet: You prayed for a basket?

Sethi: Harden yourself against subordinates. Have no friend. Trust no woman.

Moses: The city is made of bricks. The strong make many, the starving make few, the dead make none. So much for accusations.

Nefretiri: You will be king of Egypt and I will be your footstool!
Moses: The man stupid enough to use you as a footstool isn't wise enough to rule Egypt.

Moses: Love cannot drown truth, Nefretiri.

Nefretiri: Oh Moses, Moses, you stubborn, splendid, adorable fool!

Rameses: You have a rat's ears and a ferret's nose.
Dathan: To use in your service, son of Pharaoh.

Rameses: You will be mine, like my dog, or my horse, or my falcon, except that I shall love you more-and trust you less.

Nefretiri: You need have no fear of me.
Sephora: I feared only his memory of you.
Nefretiri: You have been able to erase it?
Sephora: He has forgotten both of us. You lost him when he went to seek his god. I lost him when he found his god.


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Things that never change, #401
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Published Friday, April 02, 2010 @ 5:15 AM EDT
Apr 02 2010

Edwin Starr's (1/21/1942 - 4/2/2003) #1 hit "War" (Motown, 1970). Forty years later, it remains the most successful protest song ever recorded. Too bad those in authority don't listen to the lyrics.


Categories: Music


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Quote of the day
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Published Thursday, April 01, 2010 @ 4:34 PM EDT
Apr 01 2010

I'm for free speech and bad tv. But having Sarah Palin host a WILDLIFE show is like going to Hitler's house for Passover.
-Elayne Boosler


Categories: Elayne Boosler, Quotes of the day


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The proper amount of suction...
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Published Thursday, April 01, 2010 @ 10:32 AM EDT
Apr 01 2010


Categories: Craig Ferguson


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