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Florence Nightingale, George Carlin, Colin Powell, Katharine Hepburn, Yogi Berra and more...

Published Tuesday, May 12, 2020 @ 12:00 AM EDT
May 12 2020

Today is Tuesday, May 12, the 133rd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. 233 days remain until the end of the year.


Among other things, today is International Awareness Day, International Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Day, International Nurses' Day, Lag B'omer, Limerick Day, National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, National Nutty Fudge Day, Odometer Day, and Sex Differences in Health Awareness Day.


Remembering Florence Nightingale (May 12, 1820 - August 13, 1910), British social reformer and statistician, and the founder of modern nursing.


Remembering Katharine Hepburn (May 12, 1907 - June 29, 2003) a leading lady in Hollywood for more than 60 years. She appeared in a range of genres, from screwball comedy to literary drama, and she received a record (for any gender) four Academy Awards for Lead Acting Performances, plus eight further nominations. In 1999, Hepburn was named by the American Film Institute the greatest female star of Classic Hollywood Cinema. She was known for her fierce independence and spirited personality. (Video)


Remembering Yogi Berra (May 12, 1925 - September 22, 2015), legendary baseball catcher and manager, perhaps best remembered for his "Yogi-isms".


Burt Bacharach is 92 today. (video)


Remembering Tom Snyder (May 12, 1936 - July 29, 2007) (Video)


Remembering the great comedian and social philosopher George Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22,  2008). (Video)


Actor Ving Rhames is 61 today. (video)


Remembering Jerry Stiller (June 8, 1927 - May 11, 2020) (video)


Thoughts of the day:

The damage done in one year can sometimes take ten or twenty years to repair.
-Chinua Achebe

We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are.
-Bill Hicks

The point is that if you are a little different, or a little outrageous, or if you do things that are bold or controversial, the press is going to write about you.
-Donald Trump

In government the sin of pride manifests itself in the recurring delusion that things are under control.
-George F. Will

Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.
-Frank McKinney (Kin) Hubbard


The stakes of Trump's tax return case couldn't be higher. The dispute over Trump's tax returns has been politically heated but, legally, this should be an easy call for the court. Trump has fought to the bitter end, though ultimately the law should give him no refuge: the tax returns must go to Congress, and even as a sitting president, he cannot be immune from investigation by prosecutors. You can listen to the arguments today at 10 a.m. on most cable news stations.


Maddow: Trump is 'visibly struggling' and can't 'keep it together' right now. "Whether or not you like the president or not, whether you enjoy his public affect or not on a regular basis, it is clear that there is something wrong. And that's important whenever the president of the United States is visibly unwound like that."


Susan Collins to self-quarantine to avoid possible contact with decisions. (Borowitz)


Americans' views of the news media during the covid-19 outbreak. Even in crisis, Republicans and Democrats remain starkly divided in their attitudes toward journalists. Personal reality apparently isn't as effective as is thought.


The Risks - Know Them - Avoid Them. This is an impressively clear explanation of how the virus often spreads inside confined spaces, like restaurants, churches, workplaces and schools. Even when people remain more than six feet apart, they can become infected by breathing the same air as an infected person for an extended period of time... Those scenarios are more worrisome than a quick trip to the grocery store or almost any outdoor activity.


Senate Republicans break with Trump over 'Obamagate. President Donald Trump's aggressive campaign to encourage sweeping investigations of his predecessor Barack Obama met a unanimous response from Senate Republicans: No thanks.


How pandemics end. An infectious outbreak can conclude in more ways than one, historians say. But for whom does it end, and who gets to decide?


Trump storms out Of Coronavirus briefing after female reporters challenge him. Go easy on him, ladies. He has small hands.


Will there be a second round of coronavirus stimulus checks?



The Glove Challenge- People are wearing disposable gloves to protect themselves from the coronavirus, but who will protect the oceans and waterways from the gloves that get tossed on the ground?


More than 1,900 former Justice Dept. employees again call for Barr's resignation, asserting in an open letter he had “once again assaulted the rule of law” by moving to drop the case against President Trump's former national security adviser Michael Flynn.


CEOs were asked to remove their masks before meeting with Pence in Iowa. This took place only a few hours after Katie Miller, Pence's press secretary, tested positive for COVID-19.




Things are really rough out there. Please consider donating to Feeding America.

Categories: Andy Borowitz, Burt Bacharach, Colin Powell, Covid-19, Dick Cavett, Donald Trump, Florence Nightingale, George Carlin, Jerry Stiller, Katharine Hepburn, Michael Flynn, Susan Collins, Tom Snyder, Ving Rhames, William Barr, Yogi Berra


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Quotes of the day: Yogi Berra (and a lesson in etymology)

Published Sunday, May 12, 2013 @ 4:43 AM EDT
May 12 2013

Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra (May 12, 1925 - September 22, 2006) was an American Major League Baseball catcher, outfielder, and manager. He played almost his entire 19-year baseball career (1946–1965) for the New York Yankees. Berra was one of only four players to be named the Most Valuable Player of the American League three times, and was one of seven managers to lead both American and National League teams to the World Series. As a player, coach, or manager, Berra appeared in 21 World Series. He was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1972.

Berra was widely regarded as one of the greatest catchers in baseball history. He was named to the Major League Baseball All-Century Team in a voting of fans in 1999. According to the win shares formula developed by sabermetrician Bill James, Berra is the greatest catcher of all time and the 52nd greatest non-pitching player in major-league history. (Click for full Wikipedia article.)


For those who compile quotations, Yogi Berra is both a delight and a nightmare.

There's absolutely no doubt that Berra uttered every comment listed below. The problem is in determining whether the comments were original, or attributed remarks he later "adopted." As he confessed in The Yogi Book, "I really didn't say everything I said."

Consider one of Berra's most frequently repeated comments:

"It is difficult to make predictions, especially about the future."

That quote is variously attributed to Berra, Casey Stengel, Will Rogers, Mark Twain, Niels Bohr, Albert Einstein, and many others. Software architect Larry Denenberg maintains a page on his website with links crediting the line to over two dozen sources.

Some of Berra's verbal contortions ("He's a big clog in their machine.") are called malapropisms, a word with an interesting- and eminently traceable- etymology.

It's directly derived from the word-mangling Mrs. Malaprop, a character in Richard Sheridan's 1775 English comedy The Rivals, which in turn was based upon the word malapropos, an antonym of the far more commonly used apropos. (In French, "à propos" means, literally, "to the purpose." The prefix mal means "badly.")

Note the two words are not interchangeable. A malapropism is "the unintentional misuse of a word by confusion with one that sounds similar," while malapropos, when used as a noun, is "something inopportune or inappropriate."

Also note the majority of Berra's memorable comments aren't malapropisms, they're malaphors- a portmanteau of malapropism and metaphor coined by writer Lawrence Harrison,

But I digest. It was not my detention to rambulate.


A home opener is always exciting, no matter if it's home or on the road.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

All pitchers are liars or crybabies.

Always go to other people's funerals; otherwise they won't go to yours.

Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.

Don't count on me. I'm playing way over my mind.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

He's a big clog in their machine.

I can't concentrate when I'm thinking.

I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.

I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

I looked like this when I was young, and I still do.

I really didn't say everything I said... Then again, I might have said 'em, but you never know.

I usually take a two hour nap from one to four.

I'm a lucky guy and I'm happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary.

I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.

If people don't want to come to the ballpark how are you going to stop them?

If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.

If you ask me a question I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

If you can't imitate him, don't copy him.

If you don't know where you're going, you might not get there.

It ain't over 'til it's over.

It ain't the heat, it's the humility.

It gets late early out there.

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.

It's déjà vu all over again.

It's not too far. It just seems like it is.

It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future

Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.

Little things are big.

Mantle can hit just as good right-handed as he can left-handed. He's just naturally amphibious.

Never answer an anonymous letter.

Ninety percent of putts that are short don't go in.

Ninety percent of this game is half-mental.

Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.

Pair up in threes.

Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting.

Swing at the strikes.

Texas has a lot of electrical votes.

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

The future ain't what it used to be.

The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.

The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.

There are few folks who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.

Think? How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?

We made too many wrong mistakes.

We were overwhelming underdogs.

What time is it? You mean now?

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.

You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game. If that isn't enough, in the second half, you have to give what is left.

Categories: Quotes of the day, Yogi Berra


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