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Quotes of the day: Daniel Webster »


Published Friday, January 17, 2014 @ 4:00 AM EST
Jan 17 2014

Alcoholism isn't a spectator sport. Eventually the whole family gets to play.
-Joyce Rebeta-Burditt

All parts of the human body get tired eventually- except the tongue.
-Konrad Adenauer

Arcane knowledge can be useful, even though its acquisition can seem pointless. That funny-looking key you picked up a few years ago might eventually unlock a door leading to a totally unexpected opportunity.
-Kevin G. Barkes

Critics search for ages for the wrong word, which, to give them credit, they eventually find.
-Peter Ustinov

Eventually all the things you acquire by dishonesty are gone, and you are left with only your dishonesty.
-Robert Brault

Eventually you realize that the reason God didn't always answer your prayers is that He was answering your mom's prayers.
-Robert Brault

Eventually you realize that your mom knows exactly who you are and has been trying to break it to you gently all your life.
-Robert Brault

Eventually, somebody is going to be a hero, and somebody's going to be president. Not necessarily the same person.
-Howard Baker, Jr.

Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket.
-Eric Hoffer

Fashion is about eventually being naked.
-Vivienne Westwood

I believe that every dark cloud has a silver lining that contains abnormally high traces of mercury which will eventually lead to the onset of neurological disorders.
-Dennis Miller

I'll feel that horrible feeling in my stomach you get when you've gone over to the Dark Side. But I'll be fine. That's the good thing about the Dark Side. Eventually, your eyes adjust.
-James Lileks

If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
-John A. Banker

If you locked William Shakespeare in a room with a typewriter for long enough, he'd eventually write all the songs by the Monkees.

If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you will eventually be accused of treason.
-Mort Sahl

In my experience, the trouble with oaths of the form, 'death before dishonor,' is that eventually, given enough time and abrasion, they separate the world into just two sorts of people: the dead, and the forsworn. It's a survivor's problem, this one.
-Lois McMaster Bujold

In the old days, quality was just an empty word meaning 'good.' Eventually, it evolved into a complicated method for transferring your money to business consultants.
-Scott Adams

It is inevitable, that eventually the people will demand absolute security from the state... And absolute security is absolute slavery.
-Taylor Caldwell

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

Love is the most practical thing in the world. If you take an attitude of love toward everybody you meet, you'll eventually get along.
-Will Durant

Man can be chained but he cannot be domesticated, and eventually he always breaks his chains.
-Robert A. Heinlein

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids.
-Bill Cosby

Our elections are free, it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-Bill Stern

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.
-Edward R. Murrow

The political spectrum isn't a line so much as a circle, and no matter which direction you head from 12 o'clock, you eventually wind up on the bottom by the hatch where the cuckoos pop out.
-Tamara K (Indiana blogger)

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive, and eventually releases him again for another chance.
-Peter De Vries

There will come a time when it isn't 'They're spying on me through my phone' anymore. Eventually, it will be 'My phone is spying on me.'
-Philip K. Dick

Today's scientists have substituted mathematics for experiments, and they wander off through equation after equation, and eventually build a structure which has no relation to reality.
-Nikola Tesla

We had a quicksand box in our back yard. I was an only child, eventually.
-Steven Wright

We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
-R. Wilensky

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
-Rita Rudner

When the remodeling contractor points out that Rome wasn't built in a day, it is necessary to point out that Rome was, eventually, built.
-James Lileks

When you actually meet the devil and he offers you a deal most artists eventually negotiate.
-Marc Maron

When, in the late 1940s, we faced a global Cold War against another system of ideological fanatics certain that their authoritarian values would eventually rule the world, we prevailed in time. We prevailed because we exercised patience as well as vigilance, self-restraint as well as self-defense, and reached out to moderates and modernists, to democrats and dissidents, within that closed system.
-Theodore (Ted) Sorensen

You can only work with mirrors for so long, and eventually the reality hits.
-Bob Olstein

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