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Quotes of the day: John Cleese

Published Sunday, October 27, 2013 @ 6:13 AM EDT
Oct 27 2013

John Marwood Cleese (b October 27, 1939) is an English actor, comedian, writer and film producer. He achieved success at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and as a scriptwriter and performer on The Frost Report. In the late 1960s, he became a member of Monty Python, the comedy troupe responsible for the sketch show Monty Python's Flying Circus and the four Monty Python films: And Now for Something Completely Different, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Life of Brian and The Meaning of Life. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)


All humor is a matter of opinion.

Aping Urbanity,
Oozing with Vanity
Plump as a Manatee,
Faking Humanity
Journalistic Calamity,
Intellectual Inanity
Fox News Insanity,
You're a profanity
(Ode to Sean Hannity)

Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.

Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating.

Don't touch me. I don't know where you've been.

He who laughs most, learns best.

I don't think anyone should be educated sexually. There's far too many people on the planet. If we could hush it up for a few years, that would help.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

I think marriage should be like dog licences. I think you should have to renew marriage licences every five years...

I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.

I think that the real religion is about the understanding that if we can only still our egos for a few seconds, we might have a chance of experiencing something that is divine in nature.

I think the problem with people like this (Sarah Palin) is that they are so stupid, that they have no idea how stupid they are.

I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that's to get rid of all my other desires.

I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money- money is all they think about- they're all nuts.

If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.

It's the people who try desperately to put a measured surface over secret anger seething away underneath who give you the sense of most violence.

Nothing will stop you being creative more effectively as the fear of making a mistake.

Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers- which is why almost no technology ever works.

The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.

The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not very good idea which sparked off another idea that was only slightly better, which somebody else misunderstood in such a way that they then said something which was really rather interesting.

There's something about watching an animal that puts you in contact with where we came from and what we're still a part of.

Too many people confuse being serious with being solemn.

We don't know where we get our ideas from. What we do know is that we do not get them from our laptops.

When you get to my age... you realize that the world is a madhouse and that most people are operating in fantasy anyway. So once you realise that, it doesn't bother you much.

Why anyone who has not committed a punishable offense would listen to country and western music is beyond me.

Why write about the past? Well, there's more of it.

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.

You see, you could never do a sketch like that these days. The audience is too uninformed. I blame the Americans. Nation of obese, violent, pig-ignorant, bible-thumping morons contaminating world culture. That's why I spend most of my time here in France. Beautiful, isn't it? Just look at those olive trees.
(Interviewer: This is Santa Barbara.)

Categories: John Cleese, Quotes of the day


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