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Second amendment, coffee, autopay, Covid, Smallpox, Monkeypox, DNA, DuPont
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Published Tuesday, May 31, 2022 @ 2:50 PM EDT
May 31 2022

Second Amendment
(Steve Cousineau)

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Canada moves to freeze handgun sales, buy back assault-style weapons. "We need only look south of the border to know that if we do not take action, firmly and rapidly, it gets worse and worse," Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said.

Republicans Blast Canada for insanely responding to gun violence by banning guns. (Andy Borowitz)

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We clerked for Justices Scalia and Stevens. America is getting Heller wrong. In the summer of 2008, the Supreme Court decided District of Columbia v. Heller, in which the court held for the first time that the Second Amendment protected an individual right to gun ownership. Scalia's majority opinion expressly recognized "presumptively lawful" regulations such as "laws imposing conditions and qualifications on the commercial sale of arms," as well as bans on carrying weapons in "sensitive places," like schools, and it noted with approval the "historical tradition of prohibiting the carrying of 'dangerous and unusual weapons.'" Heller also recognized the immense public interest in "prohibitions on the possession of firearms by felons and the mentally ill." (free New York Times article)

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The good for you/bad for you coin toss for this week involves coffee. Chinese researchers say a seven-year study suggests coffee drinkers are less likely to die of cancer and heart disease. As John Collins observes, "By substituting your morning coffee with green tea, you can reduce up to 88% of what little joy you had left."

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Nine bills you should never put on autopay. TL;DR: You really don't have much of a choice for some of them; part of the customer agreement requires automatic payment.

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You are going to get COVID again... and again... and again. ..."best guess for the future has the virus infiltrating each of us, on average, every three years or so." Also, the air at the gym may be more likely to spread COVID. Honestly, me catching COVID at a gym is something I never worry about. It's about as likely as me catching an STD from (insert name of currently reigning sex goddess).

Also, "That's just part of aging": Long COVID symptoms are often overlooked in seniors. Though it affects them at higher rates, older adults with long COVID have received little attention.

Some good(?) news:

The vaccine used to protect against monkeypox is the same used against smallpox, which was eradicated from the planet (except in government biowarfare labs) in 1980. Will the vaccine I received 60-some years ago protect me? Eh, maybe... Also, Britain urges people with monkeypox to abstain from sex as cases rise.

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Changing our DNA: 'The age of human therapeutic gene editing is here'

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DuPont: The most evil business in the world. Better living through chemistry? Teflon (polytetrafluoroethylene (PTFE)) is poisonous. (video) More info on PFOA, which persists indefinitely in the environment. Also, a report by John Oliver.

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Miscellany:

Random automotive trivia:

  • Only 18% of Americans can drive a stick shift, and just 5% of new cars have manual transmissions
  • Only 4% of a car's lifetime is spent driving
  • Whale oil was used in some car transmissions until 1973
  • A $1 million speeding fine was issued to a Mercedes SLS driver in Switzerland for doing 180 in a 70 zone. (Fines are proportional to the driver's income)
  • There are 1.446 billion cars on the planet, roughly 1 for every 5.5 people
  • A modern car contains about 30,000 parts
  • 75% of all Rolls Royces ever made are still on the road
  • A car is stolen in the U.S. every 45 seconds
  • The best selling car of all time is the Toyota Corolla. 44 million have been sold, and a new one is sold every 40 seconds
  • In 1900, 38% of cars were electric, 40% were steam, and 22% were gasoline powered

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Birthdays: Clint Eastwood is 92; Brooke Shields is 57; Peter Yarrow (Peter, Paul, and Mary) is 84; Sharon Gless (Cagney & Lacey) is 79; Joe Namath is 79; and Leah Thompson (Back to the Future) is 61.

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On this date in:

  • 1911, the RMS Titanic was launched in Belfast, Northern Ireland.
  • 1971, in accordance with the Uniform Monday Holiday Act passed by the U.S. Congress in 1968, observation of Memorial Day occured on the last Monday in May for the first time, rather than on the traditional Memorial Day of May 30.
  • 1977, the Trans-Alaska Pipeline System was completed and everything's been hunky dory since then.
  • 1985, 41 tornadoes hit Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, and Ontario, leaving 76 dead. It remains largest and most intense tornado outbreak ever to hit this region, and the worst tornado outbreak in Pennsylvania history in terms of deaths and destruction.
  • 2013, a record breaking 2.6 mile wide tornado with winds of 296 mph (476 km/h) struck El Reno, Oklahoma, causing eight fatalities and over 150 injuries.

Today is:

National Autonomous Vehicle Day, National Macaroon Day, National Meditation Day, National Smile Day, Necrotizing Fasciitis Awareness Day, Save Your Hearing Day, Speak in Complete Sentences Day, What You Think Upon Grows Day, World No Tobacco Day, and World Parrot Day.

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Comments and observations:

"Do you wonder about the people who think COVID vaccines are useless but that single-door schools are effective?"
-Preet Bharara

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Friends and patients of the late Lawrence J. Nelson, MD... A memorial will be held Sunday, June 12 at noon at the George Irvin Green Funeral Home, 3511 Main Street, Munhall.


Categories: Andy Borowitz, Canada, Coffee, Covid-19, DNA, DuPont, Gene Editing, Justin Trudeau, Monkeypox, SCOTUS, Second Amendment, Smallpox, Supreme Court, Teflon


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