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Published Monday, May 06, 2013 @ 1:54 PM EDT
May 06 2013

I never paid much attention to the insurance policy on my cell phone. But recent events make me wonder whether I'm adequately covered:

This insurance does not apply to loss or damage caused directly or indirectly by any of the following:
a. Governmental Authority Seizure or destruction of property by order of governmental authority.
b. Nuclear Hazard Nuclear reaction or radiation , or radioactive contamination, however caused. If physical loss or damage by fire ensues, we will pay only for such ensuing loss or damage.

What's the difference between a nuclear holocaust that melts your phone instead of causing it to burst into flame? And who's going to be around to process the claim?

c. War
(1) War, including undeclared or civil war;
(2) Warlike action by a military force; or
(3) Insurrection, rebellion, revolution, usurped power or action taken by governmental authority in hindering or defending against any of these.

Technically, the United States hasn't been in a declared war since World War II, so this is a bit fuzzy. Who, precisely, determines what's a "warlike action by a military force?" As for "insurrection," etc., does that mean if someone steps on my phone at a Tea Party or ACLU rally that I'm out of luck?

Then there's this:

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO POLICYHOLDERS-
TERRORISM RISK INSURANCE ACT OF 2002
 
You are hereby notified that, under the Terrorism Risk Insurance Act of 2002, as amended, we must make terrorism coverage available if your policy covers commercial property. However, the actual coverage provided by your policy for acts of terrorism, as is true for all coverages, is limited by the terms, conditions, exclusions, limits, other provision of your policy, any endorsements to the policy and generally applicable rules of law. Any terrorism coverage provided by this policy may be partially reimbursed by the United States Government under a formula established by Federal Law. If applicable, under this formula, the United States Government will pay 85% of covered terrorism losses exceeding a statutorily established deductible paid by insurers until such time as insured losses reach the $100 billion cap that limits U.S. Government reimbursement as well as insurers' liability for losses. If that occurs, your coverage may be reduced. You will not be required to pay a premium for terrorism coverage at this time. If a premium is going to be charged for terrorism coverage, we will provide you with advance notification of what that premium will be.

Oh, what the hell. The cellular network will have collapsed, anyway.

Have a great Monday.


Categories: Tea Party, Terrorism, Verizon, WTF?


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