I'm visiting two doctors this afternoon. I've seen one for 27 years, and been a patient of the other for 42 years. The good news is my mood should improve, and the rash should clear up. Any day now.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his
client to plant vines.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under
-George Bernard Shaw
A great doctor kills more people than a great general.
-Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibnitz
A virus is a Latin word translated by doctors to mean "Your guess is as
good as mine."
All the possibilities
It had to reject are
What give life and warmth to
An actual character;
The roots of wit and charm tap
Secret springs of sorrow,
Every brilliant doctor
Hides a murderer.
As she lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept
saying, "Relax... you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his
patients,' but another kept reminding me, "Howard, you are a
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
Crime isn't a disease, it's a symptom. Cops are like a doctor that gives
you aspirin for a brain tumor.
Doctors bury mistakes. Lawyers hang them. But journalists put theirs on
the front page.
Doctors cut, burn and torture the sick, and then demand of them an
undeserved fee for such services.
Doctors will tell you don't smoke, don't drink, eat certain foods...
From this point on, if I take excellent care of myself, I'll get very
sick and die.
God heals, the doctor takes the fee.
He's a fool that makes his doctor his heir.
Heaven defend me from a busy doctor. (Welsh Proverb)
I was an ugly kid. When I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's
office was full of portraits by Picasso.
If I did not believe in God, I should still want my doctor, my lawyer
and my banker to do so.
If the doctor told me I had only six months to live, I'd type faster.
If there were enough doctors, we would all be sick.
If you believe the doctors, nothing is wholesome; if you believe the
theologians, nothing is innocent; if you believe the military, nothing
Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to
knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there
are three other people.
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish
fluid they force down helpless babies.
Some doctors make the same mistakes for twenty years and call it
-Dr. Noah Fabricant
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.
When I was born, the doctor turned me over and said, "Look! Twins!"
You should have scheduled an appointment, gone through your physician's
assistant, insisted on seeing your primary care doctor, gotten a
referral, and come to me sooner! (doctor to patient in a cartoon caption)