Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.
network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...
Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
dcl dialogue online!
no. we're not that kgb.
The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!
"No religious Test shall ever be required as a
Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the
Article VI, U.S. Constitution
Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000
Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000
"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"
Our riveting and morally compelling...
You can't get the Monkees back together as a rock and roll group. That would be like Raymond Burr opening up a law practice.
One of 25,071 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Deal of the day
"2012" is a dog
Specifically, a Labrador retriever. Big, handsome, clumsy, stupid and incredibly destructive. But a lot of fun. Emmerich finally got one right.
Quote of the day
Sarah Palin's book is big, 400 pages. She wrote the book herself and agonized over every word. And so will you.
Friday, November 13, 2009
I've been recalled to the mothership
Actually, I'm heading to Chicago next month to teach a class at my employer's office. I think it's been almost two years since I've been back there. It was a one-day visit which involved getting up at 4 am, flying to Midway, attending a company meeting, and returning to Pittsburgh that evening. I vowed never to do that again. I'm hoping I can get score some H1N1 vaccine prior to my departure. I'm traveling to Chicago via Southwest, which is akin to riding in a petri dish with wings.
For five years I commuted between Chicago and Pittsburgh, and I initially resided downtown at Presidential Towers, a huge four-skyscraper apartment complex. I've rented a studio apartment there for next month's visit, and I'm interested in seeing how things have changed since I moved.
The only photo of the place I can find is this one:
That's Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower) being struck by lightning in August of 2003. The buildings in the foreground are Presidential Towers. I lived in the one on the far right, from October 2000 through October 2003.
I had a lovely view to the east from my apartment, the skyline dominated by Hancock Tower. Then ABN AMRO built a stinking skyscraper directly across the street which completely blocked my view. So I moved north up to Edgewater, right below Evanston, to the Sovereign Apartments. Originally a 1920s hotel, it was situated in an interesting old neighborhood and provided even more stunning scenery from my window:
I returned to Pittsburgh in November, 2005 and have only been back to Chicago a handful of times since then.
December's a great time to visit. The city's decorated for the holidays, there's lots of stuff going on, and it's significantly less hostile than New York.
Click here for a summary of the fascinating things I learned while living in the Windy City.
Inspirational secret of the week
I've been to the homes of many successful people, but although I've looked, I've never seen any books about 'the secrets of success' on their bookshelves... Probably they keep those books locked in a special safe in their basement.
-The Covert Comic
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A little song, a little dance, a littlle seltzer down your pants...
Goodbye, David Lloyd.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Fox Fabrications... er, News
|The Daily Show With Jon Stewart||Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c|
|Sean Hannity Uses Glenn Beck's Protest Footage|
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Phrases never heard in our household. >Cough<
And since we're on a roll...
Monday, November 09, 2009
...also known as Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror."
Copyright © 1987-2014 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
The email@example.com e-mail address is now something other than firstname.lastname@example.org saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used email@example.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that firstname.lastname@example.org was no longer email@example.com but rather firstname.lastname@example.org which is longer than email@example.com and more letters to type than firstname.lastname@example.org and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than email@example.com but actually just as functional as firstname.lastname@example.org? I sent e-mails from the email@example.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used firstname.lastname@example.org in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the email@example.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which firstname.lastname@example.org was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for email@example.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that firstname.lastname@example.org no longer is the email@example.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. firstname.lastname@example.org. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...
440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!
get kgb krap!