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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,537 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Saturday, November 14, 2009
posted by KGB at 11:19 PM (permalink)

Deal of the day

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posted by KGB at 12:49 AM (permalink)

"2012" is a dog

Specifically, a Labrador retriever. Big, handsome, clumsy, stupid and incredibly destructive. But a lot of fun. Emmerich finally got one right.

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

Sarah Palin's book is big, 400 pages. She wrote the book herself and agonized over every word. And so will you.
-David Letterman.

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Friday, November 13, 2009
posted by KGB at 7:58 AM (permalink)

I've been recalled to the mothership

Actually, I'm heading to Chicago next month to teach a class at my employer's office. I think it's been almost two years since I've been back there. It was a one-day visit which involved getting up at 4 am, flying to Midway, attending a company meeting, and returning to Pittsburgh that evening. I vowed never to do that again. I'm hoping I can get score some H1N1 vaccine prior to my departure. I'm traveling to Chicago via Southwest, which is akin to riding in a petri dish with wings.

For five years I commuted between Chicago and Pittsburgh, and I initially resided downtown at Presidential Towers, a huge four-skyscraper apartment complex. I've rented a studio apartment there for next month's visit, and I'm interested in seeing how things have changed since I moved.

The only photo of the place I can find is this one:

That's Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower) being struck by lightning in August of 2003. The buildings in the foreground are Presidential Towers. I lived in the one on the far right, from October 2000 through October 2003.

I had a lovely view to the east from my apartment, the skyline dominated by Hancock Tower. Then ABN AMRO built a stinking skyscraper directly across the street which completely blocked my view. So I moved north up to Edgewater, right below Evanston, to the Sovereign Apartments. Originally a 1920s hotel, it was situated in an interesting old neighborhood and provided even more stunning scenery from my window:

I returned to Pittsburgh in November, 2005 and have only been back to Chicago a handful of times since then.

December's a great time to visit. The city's decorated for the holidays, there's lots of stuff going on, and it's significantly less hostile than New York.

Click here for a summary of the fascinating things I learned while living in the Windy City.

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posted by KGB at 7:54 AM (permalink)

Inspirational secret of the week

I've been to the homes of many successful people, but although I've looked, I've never seen any books about 'the secrets of success' on their bookshelves... Probably they keep those books locked in a special safe in their basement.
-The Covert Comic

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Thursday, November 12, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

A little song, a little dance, a littlle seltzer down your pants...

Goodbye, David Lloyd.

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Wednesday, November 11, 2009
posted by KGB at 8:26 AM (permalink)

Fox Fabrications... er, News

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Sean Hannity Uses Glenn Beck's Protest Footage
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009
posted by KGB at 1:51 AM (permalink)

Phrases never heard in our household. >Cough<

And since we're on a roll...

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Monday, November 09, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Muphry's Law...

...also known as Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror."

Internet rules and laws: the top 10, from Godwin to Poe

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Copyright © 1987-2025 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...