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The Illuminati Intervention Theory

Published Wednesday, February 15, 2017 @ 4:54 AM EST
Feb 15 2017

According to Wikipedia: "Fake it 'til you make it" (also called "act as if") is a common catchphrase. The purpose is to avoid getting caught in a self-fulfilling prophecy related to one's fear of not being confident.

It's ok to employ this strategy if you're selling cars or life insurance. You can't get away with it, though, when your lack of knowledge can start a war, negatively affect global financial markets, or becomes blatantly obvious to even the casual observer.

This is the current state of the Trump administration. What's disturbing is that it appears Trump hasn't caught on that we've caught on to him. Given his assortment of character and personality defects, it's unlikely he ever will, or at least admit it.

Some of my conspiracy-minded friends have told me not to worry. According to them, the Illuminati were alarmed by Trump's election, the dystopian "Being There" nature of his performance in office so far, and will take him down before he can damage the Republic beyond repair. The quick demise of National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is just the opening move in a series of complex maneuvers that will "have Trump and his brainless minions" out of office before the end of the year, sooner if they do anything incredibly stupid.

This is the only time I have ever wished that a crackpot theory was true. It's oddly comforting to imagine a collection of robed figures seated at a boardroom table, intently watching CNN.

The screen fades to black. The figure spins in his chair to face the others.

"I believe it is time to activate The Bigly Initiative. Are there any objections?"


The figure slides a panel on the table, and a metal box pops into view. A key is inserted, turned. The lighting in the room shifts to red, and multiple flat screen displays around the chamber flicker into life.

The screens flash a montage of imagies- copies of test scores, tax returns, grainy videos...

Trump Dump initiated... New York Times (delivered); Washington Post (delivered); CNN (delivered)...

Sigh. If only.


Couldn't get a standard format Report out today. We'll give it a shot again tomorrow.

In the meantime, enjoy this:

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