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Quotes of the day: Mike Royko

Published Thursday, September 18, 2014 @ 8:48 PM EDT
Sep 18 2014

Michael "Mike" Royko (September 19, 1932 – April 29, 1997) was a Chicago newspaper columnist, winner of the 1972 Pulitzer Prize for commentary. Over his 30-year career, he wrote over 7,500 daily columns for the Chicago Daily News, the Chicago Sun-Times, and the Chicago Tribune. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)


A Pessimist sees the glass as half empty; A Cub Fan wonders when it's gonna spill.

Anyone who gives a surgeon six thousand dollars for 'breast augmentation' should give some thought to investing a little more on brain augmentation.

Contrary to popular belief, it's much wiser to take money from the poor than the rich.

Forty years ago, we were on the tail of the Front Page era. There was a different point of view. Reporters and editors were more forgiving of public people. They didn't think they had to stick someone in jail to make a career.

God tipped the country and all the fruits and nuts rolled west.

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.

I never went to a John Wayne movie to find a philosophy to live by or to absorb a profound message. I went for the simple pleasure of spending a couple of hours seeing the bad guys lose.

It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.

It's harder to be a Liberal than a Conservative because it is easier to give someone the finger than a helping hand.

No self-respecting fish would want to be wrapped in a Murdoch paper.

Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.

Show me the worst school districts in Detroit, New York, Chicago and Los Angeles, and I'll show you parents that shouldn't be raising a Chia Pet, much less a child.

So if you visit Chicago, enjoy the many great courses, the Midwestern friendliness, and the cities other amenities. But if a stranger with a goofy swing wants to play for more than loose change, take a pass. It's a long walk back to your hotel in bare feet.

The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It's an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the city has always employed so many ex-cons and future cons.

Categories: Mike Royko, Quotes of the day


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