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Cleaning off the desktop
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Published Sunday, June 01, 2014 @ 3:58 AM EDT
Jun 01 2014

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From @BillMurray on Twitter:

Someone should make a shoe made out of Legos, so that when you step on a Lego, it doesn't hurt, you just get taller.

I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as if it might be something else, like a penguin.

Hey welcome to Hollister, would you like a gas mask, flashlight, or earplugs?

Life is too short to remove the USB safely.

I do math wrong about 99° of the time.

If Google can't find the answer, it's not a question.

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I'm not a big fan of lawn ornaments, but this Think Geek exclusive makes me re-think my position.

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I don't know how the world will end, but I suspect it will be with the highest corporate profits ever recorded.
-Robert Brault

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When people say, "Guns aren't the problem, mental illness is the problem," I reply, "They're both problems, and right now we're not addressing either of them."
-Andy Borowitz

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"Excalibur" is a contraction of the Latin phrase ex calce liberatus- "freed from out the stone".

You're welcome.

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From @LOLGOP on Twitter:

Marco Rubio says he won't admit that he's smoked pot because kids look up to him. What a horrible thing to say about kids.

Only a guy who knows every part of a gun can debate gun safety but let's get our climate science from Fox and Friends.

Three women a day are murdered by a partner/ex. 83 die of gun violence. Zero die of gay marriage, voting without an ID or too much health care.

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It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile, which means I also work harder than those damned lazy happy people.
-Paula Poundstone

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There is an entire branch of psychology specializing in children who will not join the common madness.
-Robert Brault

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Kids are kids. Moms are moms. Species is irrelevant.

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Three-day weekends are like bad boyfriends; exciting at first, exhausting by the end, and always shorter than you hoped for.
-Bette Midler

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All I ask is that we treat Michele Bachmann with the same diligence we treat other nut allergies.
-Lizz Winstead

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And... the desktop is clean.
-KGB.


Categories: Cartoons, Cleaning off the desktop


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« Quotes of the day: Aristotle
Home Page
Blessed are the cheesemakers... »