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Cleaning off the desktop
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Published Sunday, May 18, 2014 @ 7:11 AM EDT
May 18 2014

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Some NFL players actually criticized Michael Sam for kissing his boyfriend after getting drafted. Apparently NFL players aren't supposed to be in a gay relationship until they're sent to prison.
–Conan O'Brien

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Donald Sterling and his wife of 50 years are divorcing. That's right, ladies: he is AVAILABLE.
-Andy Borowitz

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I don't deny reality, but I don't exactly go looking for it, either.
-Robert Brault

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The CDC says half of Americans take prescription drugs. The other half are too drunk to open the child-proof cap.
-Stephen Colbert

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A new study claims that 1 in 10 Americans no longer carry cash. They’re called English majors.
–Seth Meyers

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There's a certain irony that one of the sponsors of CBS' Person of Interest is Google, which probably knows far more about us than the NSA ever will...

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If you don't renew your AARP membership and your card expires, you can no longer use it to identify yourself as a senior. I think I've found a way to stop aging.

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TV Guide, 2075: 'Miami Vice: 2 debonair detectives patrol illegal fishing boats where the streets of the city used to be.'
-Steve Harris

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And... the desktop is clean.
-KGB


Categories: Cleaning off the desktop


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