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Quotes of the day

Published Sunday, June 17, 2012 @ 8:15 AM EDT
Jun 17 2012

You know when you're young, you think your dad's Superman. Then you grow up and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape.
-Dave Atell

All fathers are invisible in daytime; daytime is ruled by mothers and fathers come out at night. Darkness brings home fathers, with their real, unspeakable power. There is more to fathers than meets the eye.-
-Martin Atwood

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.-
-Charles Wadsworth

Diogenes struck the father when the son swore.-
-Robert Burton

Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.-
-Lewis Mumford

Every time I find a girl who can cook like my mother, she looks like my father.-
-Tony Randall

Father's Day is like Mother's Day, except the gift is cheaper.-
-Gerald F. Lieberman

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love the most is soap-on-a-rope.-
-Bill Cosby

Fathers should neither be seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.-
-Oscar Wilde

For years I thought my father was a hunchback. Turns out he didn't know suspenders were adjustable.-
-Bill Kelly

Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.-

Hello. My name is Oedipus. You are my father. Prepare to die.-
-Nancy Lebovitz

I once complained to my father that I didn't seem to be able to do things the same way other people did. Dad's advice? “Margo, don't be a sheep. People hate sheep. They eat sheep.”-
-Margo Kaufman

I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.-
-Rodney Dangerfield

If a child looks like his father, that's heredity. If he looks like a neighbor, that's environment.-

If I were a father and had a daughter who was seduced, I would not despair over her. But if I had a son who became a journalist and continued to remain one for five years, I would give him up.-
-Soren Kierkegaard

It is impossible to please all the world and one's father.-
-Jean de la Fontaine

Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for “That One.” And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president.-
-Barack Obama

Most Americans aren't the sort of citizens the Founding Fathers expected; they are contented serfs. Far from being active critics of government, they assume that its might makes it right.-
-Joseph Sobran

My father always told me that all businessmen were sons of bitches, but I never believed it until now.-
-John F. Kennedy

My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.-
-Spike Milligan

My father was frightened of his father, I was frightened of my father, and I am damned well going to see to it that my children are frightened of me.-
-King George V

No man is responsible for his father. That is entirely his mother's affair.-
-Margaret Turnbull

Noble fathers have noble children.-

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.-
-Groucho Marx

Some men are Baptists, others Catholics. My father was an Oldsmobile man.-
-Jean Shepherd

The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them.-
-Bertrand Russell

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.-
-Theodore Hesburgh

The similarities between me and my father are different.-
-Dale Berra

The worst misfortune that can happen to an ordinary man is to have an extraordinary father.-
-Austin O'Malley

To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.-
-Ernest Hemingway

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