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New quotations

Published Sunday, June 26, 2011 @ 12:04 AM EDT
Jun 26 2011

Recently enshrined in the KGB Quotations Database:

Good things come to those with no expectations.
-David X. Cohen

Dear Future Generations: Please accept our apologies. We were roaring drunk on petroleum.
-Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

In a democracy, you say what you like and do what you're told.
-Dave Barry

A modern democracy is a tyranny whose borders are undefined; one discovers how far one can go only by traveling in a straight line until one is stopped.
-Norman Mailer

Golf is not a sport. It's men in ugly pants, walking.
-Rosie O'Donnell

When choosing between two evils, be advised: if you use the "eeny-meeny-miny-mo" method, you'll always end up with the second one.
-John Alejandro King (The Covert Comic)

Death before dishonor. One thing at a time.
-John Alejandro King (The Covert Comic)

Rather than giveth and taketh away, maybe it would be best for all concerned if the Lord just held on to it.
-John Alejandro King (The Covert Comic)

The most popular software for writing fiction isn't Word. It's Excel.
-Brian Alvey

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
-Dave Barry

You have no birthday because you have always lived; you were never born, and never will die. You are not the child of the people you call mother and father, but their fellow-adventurer on a bright journey to understand the things that are.
-Richard Bach

Life tells you nothing. It shows you everything.
-Richard Bach

Decide promptly, but never give any reasons. Your decision may be right, but your reasons are sure to be wrong.
-Lord William Murray Mansfield

I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure.
-John D. Rockefeller

We will not walk in fear, one of another. We will not be driven into an age of unreason if we dig deep into our history and remember we are not descended from fearful men.
-Edward R. Murrow

Sometimes someone has to hurt you deep enough to make you realize how better your life is without them in it.
-Amanda Adriani

Opportunity is sometimes hard to recognize if you're only looking for a lucky break.
-Monta Crane


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