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Published Saturday, December 04, 2010 @ 7:44 AM EST
Dec 04 2010

Frank Zappa (December 21, 1940 - December 4, 1993)

The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

A drug is neither moral or immoral- it's a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being treats it as if consumption bestowed a temporary license to act like an asshole.

Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put to the test, usually find it to be an "inconvenience." We have opted instead for an authoritarian system disguised as a Democracy. We pay through the nose for an enormous joke-of-a-government, let it push us around, and then wonder how all those assholes got in there.

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.

High school isn't a time and a place. It's a state of mind.

I can't understand why anybody would want to devote their life to a cause like dope. It's the most boring pastime I can think of. It ranks a close second to television.

I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner?

If it wasn't for rap there would be no poetry in America. I think we went directly from Walt Whitman to Ice-T.

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to a library.

If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.

It's not a matter of being misunderstood. It's a matter of being uncomprehended.

Jazz is not dead... it just smells funny.

Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.

Remember, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.

Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.

Stupidity is replicating itself at an enormous rate. The person who stands up and says, "This is stupid," either is asked to "behave" or, worse, is greeted with a cheerful, "Yes, we know! Isn't it terrific!"

The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

There will never be a nuclear war. There's too much real estate involved.

Without deviation, progress is not possible.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.


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