Jerome Klapka Jerome (May 2, 1859 - June 14, 1927) was an English writer and humorist, best known for the comic travelogue Three Men in a Boat (1889). (Click here for full Wikipedia article)
A boy's love comes from a full heart; a man's is more often the result of a full stomach.
Ambition is only vanity ennobled.
Conceit is the finest armor that a man can wear.
For the man sound in body and serene in mind there is no such thing as bad weather; every sky has its beauty, and storms which whip the blood do but make it pulse more vigorously.
Human thought is not a firework, ever shooting off fresh forms and shapes as it burns; it is a tree, growing very slowly- you can watch it long and see no movement- very silently, unnoticed.
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
I often arrive at quite sensible ideas and judgements, on the spur of the moment. It is when I stop to think that I become foolish.
I respect the truth too much to drag it out on every occasion.
I want a house that has got over all its troubles; I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.
Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen.
If you are foolish enough to be contented, don't show it, but grumble with the rest.
If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'
It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
It is easy enough to say that poverty is no crime. No; if it were men wouldn't be ashamed of it. It is a blunder, though, and is punished as such. A poor man is despised the whole world over.
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.
It is in our faults and failings, not in our virtues, that we touch each other, and find sympathy. It is in our follies that we are one.
It is so pleasant to come across people more stupid than ourselves. We love them at once for being so.
Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing.
Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
The human mind can no more produce an original thought than a tree can bear an original fruit.
The weather is like the government- always in the wrong.
Time is but the shadow of the world upon the background of Eternity.
Vanity is truly the motive-power that moves humanity, and it is flattery that greases the wheels.
We are so bound together that no man can labor for himself alone. Each blow he strikes in his own behalf helps to mold the Universe.
We drink one another's health and spoil our own.
What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise.