Andrew Aitken "Andy" Rooney (January 14, 1919 – November 4, 2011) was an American radio and television writer. He was best known for his weekly broadcast "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney," a part of the CBS News program 60 Minutes from 1978 to 2011. His final regular appearance on 60 Minutes aired on October 2, 2011. He died one month later, on November 4, 2011, at age 92. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)
Anyone who likes golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
Being kind is more important than being right.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Conservatives are more religious than liberals- although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
Everyone wants to live at the top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.
I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
I don't like food that's too carefully arranged. It makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
I just wish insignificance had more stature.
I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.
It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often, and that passes for good on television.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Love, not time, heals all wounds.
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.
Money doesn't buy class.
Not everyone has a right to his own opinion. If he doesn't know the facts, his opinion doesn't count.
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.
Opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
Patriotism is only a virtue if the person who has it lives in your country.
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
The Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
There are idiots who will buy anything as long as it costs enough.
There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties.
Vegetarian- that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
Writers never retire.