Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.


network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Anniversary


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman


Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!


Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon


It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day


A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City


Da Burg Annat


I Have Issues


Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired


At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh


He knows if yinz is a jagoff


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dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL


no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!


Ciao.
KGB, CIA linked


The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!


Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution


Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week


Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


miscellany

Hard to describe.


"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite


Our riveting and morally compelling...

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One of  26,941 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

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kgbreport.com Web


(July 2000 and earlier)


Saturday, August 15, 2009

Photo of the day

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Friday, August 14, 2009

Hypocrisy of the day

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Glenn Beck's Operation
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorSpinal Tap Performance

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Time waster of the day

I was headed to bed a half hour ago. Then I stumbled over this.

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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Quote of the day

When it comes to casting stones, he who is without sin will tend to have minimal hand-eye coordination.
-The Covert Comic

Speaking of whom, our far-from-average spook comments on yesterday's quote collection:

"Ivan Stang said: 'We all know how stupid the average person is. Now realize that, by definition, fifty percent of the population is dumber than that.'

"Bad news for Ivan Stang: he's actually referring to the median person."
-John Alejandro King

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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

On average...

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.
-George Carlin

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
-Winston Churchill

Applause, mingled with boos and hisses, is about all that the average voter is able or willing to contribute to public life.
-Elmer Davis

The average person thinks he isn't.
-Father Larry Lorenzoni

The average man doesn't want to be free. He wants to be safe.
-H.L. Mencken

The average man never really thinks from beginning to end of his life. The mental activity of such people is only a mouthing of cliches. What they mistake for thought is simply repetition of what they have heard. My guess is that well over 80% of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought. Whenever a new one appears the average man shows signs of dismay and resentment.
-H.L. Mencken

The average American has the attention span of a ferret on double espresso.
-Dennis Miller

You won't find average Americans on the left or on the right. You'll find them at Kmart.
-Zell Miller

People vote their resentment, not their appreciation. The average man does not vote for anything but against something.
-H.H. Munro (Saki)

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Half of the people in the world are below average.
-The National Review

Think of how dumb the average person is. Half of everyone is even dumber than that!
-Unattributed

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Obama Death Panel Debate

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Healther Skelter - Obama Death Panel Debate
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorSpinal Tap Performance

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Angrytown, USA

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Healther Skelter
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorSpinal Tap Performance

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Monday, August 10, 2009

Craig explains it all

h/t to Leslie, whose birthday is tomorrow.

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Remembering Isaac Hayes (d. 8/10/08)

What's that spinning sound?

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Sunday, August 09, 2009

Thoughts for a Sunday morning...

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Copyright © 1987-2014 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...

commentwear


Crystal Methodist


Laugh while you can, monkey-boy


I am a professional. Do not try this at home.


I canna change the laws of physics


As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)


Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Left wing liberal nut job


Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.


Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.


If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.


If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?


Nutrition makes me puke


Feral Geek


eat wisely


Dyslexics have more fnu!


It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable


get kgb krap!

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