Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.
network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...
Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
dcl dialogue online!
no. we're not that kgb.
The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!
"No religious Test shall ever be required as a
Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the
Article VI, U.S. Constitution
Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000
Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000
"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"
Our riveting and morally compelling...
One of 50,247 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
News you can use
Friday, October 31, 2008
"Real" Americans don't willfuly ignore the Constitution
Like all elected officials, United States Senators swear to uphold the Constitution of the United States. Article 6 of the Constitution states:
"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
I added the emphasis for a reason. In many areas, the Constitution's language is broad and non-specific. The founders took that approach, some believe, to prevent the document from becoming obsolete and to allow interpretations which take into account unanticipated changes in society.
But in this instance, the intention of the framers cannot be misinterpreted. It is the only time the word ever is used in the Constitution. There is no doubt whatsoever of the authors' intentions.
Which makes this little gem even more reprehensible:
Senator Dole is asking voters to apply a test of religious belief to determine the eligibility of her opponent to serve in the U.S. Senate. In short, she is fomenting treason by urging citizens to explicitly violate the most unambiguous, fundamental rule of law established by our founders.
Frankly, Dole deserves not only to lose the election, but to be impeached for failing to uphold the Constitution she swore to defend.
I don't know about the dogs...
...but this would have been handy when the kids were in their hyperactive, "you're touching me!" phase.
Fox News not only throws John McCain under the bus, Cavuto parks the bus right on top of him:
Quotes of the day
There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.
-Linus Van Pelt in It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown by Charles Schulz
I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Quotes of the day
Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or
discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is
to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring. It was
The fidelity of a Dog is a precious gift, demanding no less binding
moral responsibilities than the friendship of a Human Being. The bond
with a True Dog is as lasting as the ties of this Earth will ever
We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet: and, amid all
the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has
made an alliance with us.
Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of
All knowledge, the totality of all questions and all answers is
contained in the dog.
No matter how little money and how few possesions you own, having a
dog makes you rich.
He possessed beauty without vanity, strength without insolence; courage without ferocity;
and all the virtues of man without his vices.
-Lord Byron's epitaph for his dog
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted
That's the whole secret of life. Life is a series of dogs.
Old men miss many dogs.
A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he
-Henry Wheeler Shaw
Many years ago when an adored dog died, a great friend, a bishop, said to me, "You must always remember that, as far as the Bible is concerned, God only threw the humans out of Paradise."
God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven,
and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
-Rev. Billy Graham
You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be
there long before any of us.
-Robert Louis Stevenson
If there are no dogs in heaven, when I die I want to go where they
I have sometimes thought of the final cause of dogs having such
short lives and I am quite satisfied it is in compassion to the human
race; for if we suffer so much in loving a dog after an acquaintance
of ten or twelve years, what would it be if they were to live double
-Sir Walter Scott
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Why geeks rule
Beatles Unknown "A Hard Day's Night" Chord Mystery
Solved Using Fourier Transform
Short answer: there's a piano in there, too.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Jellybean Louise Barkes
Thank you for the gift of her companionship,
and for the strength to return her to you.
(She really likes white pizza and bacon.)
Quote of the day
If you can't make it good, at least make it look good.
-Bill Gates (b October 28, 1955)
Monday, October 27, 2008
Political sign of the day
Sunday, October 26, 2008
I don't understand it...
This site provides superb explanations of word origins and proper usage. I just spent an hour there and was thoroughly engrossed. Odd thing is, I can't recall a single word that was covered. Go figure. (via Zay Smith's QT column in the Chicago Sun-Times.)
Copyright © 1987-2017 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
The firstname.lastname@example.org e-mail address is now something other than email@example.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used firstname.lastname@example.org as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that email@example.com was no longer firstname.lastname@example.org but rather email@example.com which is longer than firstname.lastname@example.org and more letters to type than email@example.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than firstname.lastname@example.org but actually just as functional as email@example.com? I sent e-mails from the firstname.lastname@example.org address to just about everybody I knew who had used email@example.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the firstname.lastname@example.org change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which email@example.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for firstname.lastname@example.org would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that email@example.com no longer is the firstname.lastname@example.org they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. email@example.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...
440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!
get kgb krap!