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Quotes of the day: Fathers

Published Friday, June 19, 2015 @ 7:13 PM EDT
Jun 19 2015

A father is a thing that is forced to endure childbirth, without an anesthetic.
-Paul Harvey

A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.

A good father lives so he is a credit to his children.
-Arnold H. Glasow

A realist is a man who insists on making the same mistakes his grandfather did.
-Benjamin Disraeli

All fathers are invisible in daytime; daytime is ruled by mothers and fathers come out at night. Darkness brings home fathers, with their real, unspeakable power. There is more to fathers than meets the eye.
-Martin Atwood

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
-Laurence J. Peter

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
-Jack Handey

Diogenes struck the father when the son swore, because he taught him no better.
-Robert Burton

Every father says the same thing: 'Where's your mother?'
-Bill Cosby

Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.
-Lewis Mumford

Father's Day is like Mother's Day, except the gift is cheaper.
- Gerald F. Lieberman

Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.
-Jon Stewart

Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents.
-Margaret Mead

Fathers have a unique and irreplaceable role in the lives of children.
-George W. Bush

For years I thought my father was a hunchback. Turns out he didn't know suspenders were adjustable.
-Bill Kelly

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
-Dick Clark

I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.
-Umberto Eco

I come from a different generation from my Dad.
-George W. Bush

I talk and talk and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week.
-Mario Cuomo

I tell the truth, and it has gotten me into a lot of trouble. My dad used to say to me, 'If you tell the truth all day long, you will end up in jail.'
-Elaine Stritch

I've always followed my father's advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble.
-John Wayne

If a child looks like his father, that's heredity. If he looks like a neighbor, that's environment.

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.
-Anne Sexton

It is almost nicer being a godfather than a father, like having white mice but making your nanny feed them for you.
-Theodore H. White

It is impossible to please all the world and one's father.
-Jean de la Fontaine

Men are all right for friends, but as soon as you marry them they turn into cranky old fathers, even the wild ones.
-Willa Cather

My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
- Spike Milligan

My father was frightened of his father, I was frightened of my father, and I am damned well going to see to it that my children are frightened of me.
-King George V

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
-Jeff Foxworthy

No man is responsible for his father. That is entirely his mother's affair.
-Margaret Turnbull

Noble fathers have noble children.

Nobody talks more of free enterprise and competition and of the best man winning than the man who inherited his father's store or farm.
-C. Wright Mills

One father is enough to govern one hundred sons, but not a hundred sons one father.
-George Herbert

Rich men's sons are seldom rich men's fathers.
-Herbert Kaufmann

The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them.
-Bertrand Russell

The moral code which was good enough for our fathers is not good enough for our children.
-Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.
-E.B. White

The wisest man may be a blind father.
-Jules Verne

The worst misfortune that can happen to an ordinary man is to have an extraordinary father.
-Austin O'Malley

Wise children always choose a mother who was a shocking flirt in her maiden days, and so had several offers before she accepted their fortunate papa.
-J.M. Barrie

You know when you're young, you think your dad's Superman. Then you grow up and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape.
-Dave Atell

(June 20 is also the birthday of Lillian Hellman.)

Categories: Fathers, Quotes of the day, Quotes on a topic


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