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Quotes of the day: Roseanne Barr

Published Sunday, November 02, 2014 @ 6:34 PM EST
Nov 02 2014

(Entertainment Weekly photo)

Roseanne Cherrie Barr (b. November 3, 1952) is an American actress, comedian, writer, television producer, director, and 2012 presidential nominee of the California-based Peace and Freedom Party. Barr began her career in stand-up comedy at clubs before gaining fame for her role in the sitcom Roseanne. The show was a hit and lasted nine seasons, from 1988 to 1997. She won both an Emmy and a Golden Globe Award for Best Actress for her work on the show. Barr had crafted a "fierce working-class domestic goddess" persona in the eight years preceding her sitcom and wanted to do a realistic show about a strong mother who was not a victim of patriarchal consumerism. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)


As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.

Experts say you should never hit your child in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them.

I know that I pay 48 percent of my income to taxes. You know, I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't going just to export war. If it was actually going to help the people of the United States, I would gladly pay more.

I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.

I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish.

I'm not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S.

Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles

Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.

Middle class people are fearful of losing. So everything is about fear of loss. When's everything is based on money, everything's for sale, including their integrity and their morals.

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

My husband said he needed more space, so I locked him outside.

Screwed? We're way beyond screwed. The light from screwed will take years to reach us.

Take this marriage thing seriously- it has to last all the way to the divorce.

The American people are sick and tired of this 'lesser evil' garbage they get fed every election year. Both the Democrats and the Republicans do the same evils once they're in office.

The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

The way to a man's heart is through his chest.

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month I can be myself.

You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'

Categories: Quotes of the day, Roseanne Barr


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