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Cleaning off the desktop
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Published Sunday, April 06, 2014 @ 7:31 PM EDT
Apr 06 2014

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McDonalds closes in Crimea. Actually, this is serious. The United States has never gone to war with a country that had an operating McDonalds.

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You can't legally own a hedgehog in Pennsylvania.

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REMINDER: Though the Supreme Court says there is no difference, your servers prefer you tip in actual money rather than "speech."
-@LOLGOP

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Saturday Night Live's parody of Fox and Friends included "a list of corrections from our first hour":
-Captain America was never a U.S. President.
-Lifesavers aren't medicine.
-The periodic table is not about "lady stuff."
-You can not abbreviate the Supreme Court to spell SCROTUM.
-Hong Kong is a region in China. Not a video game from Nintendo.
-Malaysia is not the female version of Asia.
-Chicklets do not grow up to be roosters.
-Chris Christie was never in the show "Three's Company."
-Infinity pools have a limited amount of water.
-Garfunkel is not Garfield's black cousin. -The Chile Earthquake is not a bold new product from Dairy Queen.
-Captain Phillips is not a brand of rum.
-Marvin Gaye liked women.
-Nancy Pelosi is a human woman.
-God loves figs.
-Noah is not "found footage."

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All the great buzz about Captain America has convinced me that I need to drop everything and watch it on cable next year.
-@FrankConniff

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In the spring of 1967, 47(!) years ago, Patricia Pugh, John Krause and I represented Homestead Junior High School in the KDKA/Pittsburgh Press spelling bee.

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I have to believe the Supreme Court is working for tips now.
-@ElayneBoosler

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Pixie is an 11 month old Shih Tzu, which supposedly is Mandarin Chinese for "lion," but should be "strange, small, dog-like creature." Sassafras (a corruption of the Latin saxifrage, or "rock-breaker") is a ten year old Shetland Sheepdog. In human years, they're roughly 16 and 60 years old.
"But Dad says we're from the same litter."
"In your dreams, kid."

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There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

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Pittsburgh radio legend Clarke Ingram noted the above happened 50 years ago this month, and hasn't been duplicated by any other artist or group.

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So, Letterman's retiring. Wonder if Leno is available?

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Wonderful YouTube video featuring SPCA of Wake County and Queen.

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Headline of the week:
"Willie Nelson’s armadillo returned
after being kidnapped in Las Vegas"

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And... the desktop is clean.
-KGB


Categories: Cartoons, Cleaning off the desktop, Miscellany


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It's about Time
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Published Sunday, April 06, 2014 @ 4:35 AM EDT
Apr 06 2014

Time affords us the ability to blame past errors on others while whole heartedly pronouncing our future successes.
-Douglas Adams

Time and space- time to be alone, space to move about- these may well become the great scarcities of tomorrow.
-Edwin Way Teale

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.
-Dorothy Sayers

Time bears away all things, even the mind.
-Virgil

Time cools, time clarifies, no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.
-Thomas Mann

Time deals gently only with those who take it gently.
-Anatole France

Time discovers truth.
-Lucias Annaeus Seneca

Time doesn't go. Time stays. We go.
-Linda Ellerbee

Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
-Unattributed

Time flies when you're on Prozac.
-Bette Midler

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
-Robert Orben

Time has a wonderful way of weeding out the trivial.
-Richard Ben Sapir

Time has no divisions to mark its passage; there is never a thunderstorm to announce the beginning of a new year. It is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols.
-Thomas Mann

Time has no meaning in itself unless we choose to give it significance.
-Leo Buscaglia

Time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons.
-Blaise Pascal

Time is a fluid condition which has no existence except in the momentary avatars of individual people.
-William Faulkner

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-Hector Berlioz

Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.
-Marcus Aurelius

Time is both longer and shorter than you think, and usually all at once.
-Joan D. Vinge

Time is but the shadow of the world upon the background of Eternity.
-Jerome K. Jerome

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
-Henry David Thoreau

Time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.
-William Faulkner

Time is everything; five minutes make the difference between victory and defeat.
-Horatio Nelson

Time is not measured by the passing of years but by what one does, what one feels, and what one achieves.
-Jawaharlal Nehru

Time is only linear for engineers and referees.
-Craig Ferguson

Time is our element, not a mistaken invader.
-John Updike

Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time.
-Benjamin Disraeli

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
-Carl Sandburg

Time is the friend of the wonderful business, the enemy of the mediocre.
-Warren Buffett

Time is the great legalizer, even in the field of morals.
-H.L. Mencken

Time is the great physician.
-Benjamin Disraeli

Time is the longest distance between two places.
-Tennessee Williams

Time is the most valuable thing on earth: time to think, time to act, time to extend our fraternal relations, time to become better men, time to become better women, time to become better and more independent citizens.
-Samuel Gompers

Time is the mother and mugger of us all.
-Karen Elizabeth Gordon

Time is the only critic without ambition.
-John Steinbeck

Time is the quality of nature that keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working.
-Unattributed

Time is the rider that breaks youth.
-George Herbert

Time is the storyteller you can't shut up.
-Carl Sandburg

Time is what prevents everything from happening at once.
-John Archibald Wheeler

Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once and space is what keeps it all from happening to you.
-David Gerrold

Time marks us while we are marking time.
-Theodore Roethke

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
-Dorothy Parker

Time moves in one direction, memory in another.
-William Gibson

Time neither moves nor is stationary. Time changes.
-Paulo Coelho

Time spent arguing with the faithful is, oddly enough, almost never wasted.
-Christopher Hitchens

Time will explain it all. He is a talker, and needs no questioning before he speaks.
-Euripides

Time wounds all heels.
-Jane Sherwood Ace

Time's a strange fellow;
more he gives than takes
(and he takes all)
--E.E. Cummings

Time's fun when you're having flies.
-Kermit the Frog

Time, space, and natural law hold for me suggestions of intolerable bondage, and I can form no picture of emotional satisfaction which does not involve their defeat- especially the defeat of time, so that one may merge oneself with the whole historic stream and be wholly emancipated from the transient and the ephemeral.
-H.P. Lovecraft


Categories: Quotes of the day, Quotes on a topic


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