KGB Report

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Every love is the love before
In a duller dress.
-Dorothy Parker

If love is blind, why is Victoria's Secret so successful?
-Unattributed

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-Jane Wagner

Life is one fool thing after another where as love is two fool things after each other.
-Oscar Wilde

Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
-Franklin P. Jones

Love is a decision, not an emotion.
-Unattributed

Love is a joint experience between two persons- but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience to the two people involved.
-Carson McCullers

Love is a matter of chemistry. Sex is a matter of physics.
-Unattributed

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.
-Matt Groening

Love is a series
Of darlings and dearies
Of honeys and sweeties
And sugared entreaties
Of moonings and spoonings
And cooings and billings
All tempered, of course,
By occasional killings.
-E.Y. Harburg

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra. Suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-Matt Groening

Love is a verb.
-Clare Boothe Luce

Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant.
-Jim Cole

Love is blind, but desire just doesn't give a good goddamn.
-James Thurber

Love is grand; divorce is three hundred grand.
-Unattributed

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
-Jules Renard

Love is like any other luxury. You have no right to it unless you can afford it.
-Anthony Trollope

Love is like epidemic diseases. The more one fears it, the more likely one is to contract it.
-Nicolas Chamfort

Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
-Jerome K. Jerome

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.
-S.J. Perelman

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
-Unattributed

Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
-W. Somerset Maugham

Love is that rare attraction to someone that can survive getting to know them.
-Robert Brault

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
-Robert A. Heinlein

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-H.L. Mencken

Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old.
-John Ciardi

Love, and you shall be loved. All love is mathematically just, as much as the two sides of an algebraic equation.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Marriage, friends, is a lifelong feast, love is no light lunch.
-Garrison Keillor

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.
-Dorothy Parker

Oh, love isn't there to make us happy. I believe it exists to show us how much we can endure.
-Hermann Hesse

Puppy love is no laughing matter when you're a puppy.
-Amy Gamerman

The best proof of love is trust.
-Dr. Joyce Brothers

The enemy of a love is never outside, it's not a man or woman, it's what we lack in ourselves.
-Anaïs Nin

The first duty of love is to listen.
-Paul Tillich

The first sigh of love is the last of wisdom.
-Antoine Bret

The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her.
-H.L. Mencken

The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end.
-Benjamin Disraeli

True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.
-William Goldman

When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.
-P.G. Wodehouse

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Categories: Cartoons, Holidays, Quotes on a topic

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George Jean Nathan (February 14, 1882 - April 8, 1958) was the leading American drama critic of his time. Active from 1905 to 1958, he published 34 books on the theatre, co-edited The Smart Set and The American Mercury with H.L. Mencken, and zealously practiced 'destructive' theatre criticism. (Click here for full biography)

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A man admires a woman not for what she says, but what she listens to.

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

An optimist is the kind of person who believes a housefly is looking for a way out.

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

Criticism is the art of appraising others at one's own value.

Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness.

I drink to make other people interesting.

I hold that companionship is a matter of mutual weaknesses. We like that man or woman best who has the same faults we have.

It is only the cynicism that is born of success that is penetrating and valid.

Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man.

No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.

One does not go to the theater to see life and nature; one goes to see the particular way in which life and nature happen to look to a cultivated, imaginative and entertaining man who happens, in turn, to be a playwright

Opening night is the night before the play is ready to open.

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.

Politics is the pursuit of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

Ten million dollars worth of intricate and ingenious machinery functioning elaborately to put skin on baloney.
(re: Hollywood)

What passes for woman's intuition is often nothing more than man's transparency.

Whenever a man encounters a woman in a mood he doesn't understand, he wants to know if she's tired.

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.

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Categories: George Jean Nathan, Quotes of the day

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