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re: Sundays
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Published Sunday, April 21, 2013 @ 7:05 AM EDT
Apr 21 2013

A lot of people spend six days sowing wild oats, then go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
-Fred Allen

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-H.L. Mencken

Don't judge a man's wealth-or his piety-by his appearance on Sunday.
-Benjamin Franklin

Every Sunday I give thanks that there's nothing in Leviticus about liking show tunes.
-Kevin G. Barkes

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
-Billy Sunday

He had, in fact, got everything from the church and Sunday School, except, perhaps, any longing whatever for decency and kindness and reason.
-Sinclair Lewis

I don't think suicide is so terrible. Some rainy winter Sunday when there's a little boredom, you should always carry a gun. Not to shoot yourself, but to know exactly that you're always making a choice.
-Lina Wertmuller

I take my pet lion to church every Sunday. He has to eat.
-Marty Pollio

If the American Atheists Society or Saddam Hussein himself ever sent an unrestricted gift to any of my ministries, be assured I will operate on Billy Sunday's philosophy: The Devil's had it long enough, and quickly cash the check.
-Jerry Falwell

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
-Susan Ertz

More men fail through lack of purpose than through lack of talent.
-Billy Sunday

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-Woody Allen

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered when they die but they're not getting up early on a Sunday.
-Richard Jeni

Sunday is the day people go quietly mad, one way or another.
-William Saroyan

Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing that they themselves were dead and in Heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in Hell.
-H.L. Mencken

The Maker of the universe with stars a hundred thousand light-years apart was interested, furious, and very personal about it if a small boy played baseball on Sunday afternoon.
-Sinclair Lewis


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