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Political jokes of the week
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Published Saturday, June 25, 2011 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Jun 25 2011

Recent late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog on About.com.

Did you see that video where a crying baby is handed to President Obama? As soon as the president holds the baby it stops crying. Do you know how rare that is these days; that a politician is handed a baby from a crowd and it's not his?
-Jay Leno


(YouTube video: Barack Obama, The Baby Whisperer)

That's pretty amazing. The baby stopped crying as soon as the president held it. Obama should try that with John Boehner.
-Jay Leno

Sarah Palin has canceled the rest of her bus trip around America. She had to quit before she got to Mount Rushmore and somebody asked her to name the Presidents.
-Jay Leno

John McCain made his claim that illegal immigrants started the Arizona wildfires without doing his research. The last time he did that we got Sarah Palin.
-Jay Leno

It has now been revealed that Newt Gingrich had a second line of credit at Tiffany's for up to a million dollars. That sounds like a lot until you remember that Congress has a line of credit with China for up to $14.3 trillion.
-Jay Leno

More bad news for Newt Gingrich. One week after his campaign staff quit, his campaign finance team quit. In fact, Newt was going to pull out of the race, but today the guy who writes his concession speeches quit.
-Jay Leno

According to new polls, 66 percent of Americans believe the country is headed in the wrong direction. But the good news is, gas is so expensive and traffic is so bad that we won't get there for a long time.
-Jay Leno

Today Sarah Palin canceled her bus tour, reportedly canceling dates in Iowa, South Carolina, and New Hampshire. When asked why, Palin answered: 'It turns out those places are nowhere near each other.'
-Conan O'Brien

In a new videotape message, Texas Gov. Rick Perry urges his supporters to follow him on 'Tweeter.' After hearing about it, John McCain laughed and said, 'What an idiot! It's 'The Tweeter.'
-Conan O'Brien

Newt Gingrich bragged on his third wife, saying, 'She plays the French horn.' Then things got awkward when he added, 'If you know what I mean.'
-Conan O'Brien

Newt Gingrich announced he was running for president. His top advisers quit, and then his campaign fundraisers all quit. Newt was thinking, 'I don't need this, I'll just put it all on my Tiffany's credit card.'
-David Letterman

New Republican Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is fluent in Chinese. In a short period of time the Republicans have come quite a long way. The last Republican president wasn't even fluent in English.
-David Letterman

Bristol Palin released her much-anticipated memoir called 'Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far.' Bristol said that Levi Johnston cheated on her but then made it up to her by buying designer rain boots. Things are different up there, I guess.
-Jimmy Kimmel

President Obama will be in New York tomorrow night for a fundraiser at the Broadway musical 'Sister Act.' Meanwhile, Sarah Palin will be in town to do some hunting at 'The Lion King.'
-Jimmy Fallon

New York Gov. Andy Cuomo will hold a special election on September 13 to replace Anthony Weiner. Cuomo said, 'Anyone interested in the job should e-mail me at... actually, you'd just better call.'
-Jimmy Fallon


Categories: Political Jokes of the Week, Video, YouTube


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