Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

Da Burg Annat

I Have Issues

Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

He knows if yinz is a jagoff

Please support KGB Report by making your purchases through our affiliate link:

dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL

no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!

KGB, CIA linked

The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week

Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


Hard to describe.

"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite

Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  51,799 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

Google Web

(July 2000 and earlier)

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Forced retirement

For the past couple years, I've been participating in weekly polls conducted by NBC dealing with television viewing.

This week's poll showed up in my e-mail box and I dutifully clicked on the link.

Gender? Male.

Age? Yesterday was my birthday, so for the very first time I checked the box 55-59. I was immediately presented with:

This concludes our survey. Thank you very much for your time and cooperation.

Fine. Instead of Leno, I'm watching CBS next week.

Cranky? Nah, I'm just getting old...

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Friday, September 11, 2009

Quote of the day

When baring your teeth, the effect is more impressive if they're actually in your mouth.
-The Covert Comic

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Today's my birthday, and I've reached that monumental point in my life when I'm eligible to order from the seniors menu at Denny's.

But, of course, today is also the anniversary of the disaster which still haunts many of us...

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Thursday, September 10, 2009


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Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Happy birthday, Hoyt

Another composer few people know by name is Hoyt Curtin, who wrote most of the now-iconic music for all of the Hanna-Barbera cartoon series from Ruff and Ready in the 50s through The Smurfs in the 70s- 145 themes in all.

Curtin is perhaps most remembered for his themes to The Flintstones and The Jetsons, but his music for Jonny Quest is perhaps the best example of a great 60s jazz tune:

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Tuesday, September 08, 2009


Tomorrow's a great day to be a Beatles fan....



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Monday, September 07, 2009

Happy birthday, Al


I'd wager not many Pittsburghers recognize Al Caiola's name. But if you grew up in the 60s and 70s and watched Chiller Theatre every Saturday night, you'd immediately recognize the instrumental classic, Experiment in Terror, an up-tempo version of West Aliquippa native Henry Mancini's theme to the 1962 Blake Edwards film.

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Sunday, September 06, 2009

This I Believe (Right Wingnut Edition)

(adapted from a post by tpaulman on Reddit)

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Copyright © 1987-2018 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The e-mail address is now something other than saga. used to be until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up and adopting created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the domain name in 1993, and had since that time used as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that was no longer but rather which is longer than and more letters to type than and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than but actually just as functional as I sent e-mails from the address to just about everybody I knew who had used in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that no longer is the they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...


Crystal Methodist

Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

I am a professional. Do not try this at home.

I canna change the laws of physics

As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)

Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Left wing liberal nut job

Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.

Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.

If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?

Nutrition makes me puke

Feral Geek

eat wisely

Dyslexics have more fnu!

It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable

get kgb krap!

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