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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  51,847 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Saturday, May 16, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

Dick Cheney, the former vice president, said that President Obama went too far with the jokes at the correspondents' dinner. By too far, does Cheney mean like waterboarding a guy 183 times?
-David Letterman

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Friday, May 15, 2009
posted by KGB at 4:30 PM (permalink)

Video of the day - part 2

 

"I learned, never again, to pick another team over the Sun Devils in my NCAA brackets. It won't happen again. President Crow and the Board of Reagents will soon learn about being audited by the IRS."

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posted by KGB at 9:05 AM (permalink)

Video of the day

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Arizona State Snubs Obama
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

 

Not getting an honorary degree from Arizona State University is like being told you can never eat rutabagas again. I think he'll survive.

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posted by KGB at 12:23 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

What turns me on the most about my wife's body is when her body doesn't spend money.
-The Covert Comic

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Thursday, May 14, 2009
posted by KGB at 2:02 PM (permalink)

News story of the day

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

You give me a waterboard, Dick Cheney, and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.
-Jesse Ventura on "Larry King Live"

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009
posted by KGB at 7:15 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

If you put your hand in my pocket, you'll drag back six inches of bloody stump.
-science fiction writer Harlan Ellison, in the New York Times, re: his ongoing, aggressive pursuit of persons who upload his copyrighted material to web sites.

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Idiocracy revisited

This is how Idiot America engages itself. It decides, en masse, with a million keystrokes and clicks of the remote control, that because there are two sides to every question, they both must be right, or at least not wrong. And the words of an obscure biologist carry no more weight on the subject of biology than do the thunderations of some turkeyneck preacher out of Christ's Own Parking Structure in DeLand, Florida. Less weight, in fact, because our scientist is an "expert" and therefore, an "elitist." Nobody buys his books. Nobody puts him on cable. He's brilliant, surely, but no different from the rest of us, poor fool.

Idiot America: How Stupidity Became a Virtue in the Land of the Free

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Monday, May 11, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Stand Up POTUS

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Sunday, May 10, 2009
posted by KGB at 10:53 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

This movie was so good I nearly shatnered my pants.
-"KSmittlez" one-sentence review of Star Trek on YouTube's "Beyond The Trailer"

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

The second time around

I saw Star Trek again last night in a sold-out IMAX venue, and aside from picking up a few details I missed the first time around, the film held up well. Doug shared my enthusiasm for the reboot- the film is perfectly cast, the humor and action are spot-on, and the actors' interpretations of the original characters are faultless.

All the actors are signed for two more films, and hopefully Paramount will waste no time putting them in production. If they're smart, they'll handle it like Back to the Future and shoot II and III simultaneously.

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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...