Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.
network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...
Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
dcl dialogue online!
no. we're not that kgb.
The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!
"No religious Test shall ever be required as a
Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the
Article VI, U.S. Constitution
Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000
Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000
"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"
Our riveting and morally compelling...
One of 51,810 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Quote of the day
Eliot Spitzer was a Hillary Clinton superdelegate. Also, Spitzer was on Hillary Clinton's vice president list, possible running mate. Boy, she can pick 'em, can't she?
The Ides of March
Well, what were you expecting? We're surrounded by historical illiterates.
I'll never forgive them for releasing a baritone horn solo arrangement the year after I graduated from high school.
You just don't hear brass like that any more.
Note how the five-note "hook" resembles The Incredibles theme...
Friday, March 14, 2008
The Larry Craig Mens Room
5 am and you're at the Minneapolis airport... while waiting for the McDonald's to open, I joined some other tourist types and found the U.S. Senator Larry "Wide Stance" Craig Men's Room:
I can report that the facility is dull, a bit damp, slightly sticky and has a somewhat institutional odor; which, according to news reports, is a description applicable to the senator himself.
Mall of America? Check. Next stop...
.. on my way home from a business trip to Minneapolis, it's the famous U.S. Senator Larry Craig Mens Room at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.
The helpful hotel person said that it's on Concourse G, next to the shoeshine and lottery shops.
I've read reports that the stalls have been modified to prevent incidents caused by guys with wide stances. I'm not taking any chances. I'm using the facilities in my hotel room before getting on the bus.
Photos may follow, if there's anything interesting in there. Time to pack and catch the 4 am shuttle.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
If you like spam, you'll love spit...
Welcome to the world of SPIT, or SPam over Internet Telephony. It's the latest craze for spammers and it's causing headaches for VoIP providers like Skype. SPIT is very analogous to SPAM, where VoIP subscribers receive actual unsolicited telephone calls offering typical SPAM type products like organ enlargement or weight loss pitches. The difference with SPIT though is can be much more damaging to a VoIP providers network because of the large bandwidth bottlenecks it can create. If not kept in check, SPIT can cause serious quality of service problems for VoIP providers, leading to a potential competitive disadvantage.
The last thing VoIP providers need is more call quality problems. The reality of SPIT is it is quite rare on privately managed VoIP networks, like those offered by cable companies. It's much more prevalent on public Internet VoIP services like Skype. There are ways to defeat it through filtering and firewall applications.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
I'm shocked, shocked I tell you...
Women lie? Say it ain't so...
March 2, 2008- Deceit, thy name is woman.
Most females lie "more cleverly and successfully than men" about everything from infidelity and facelifts to barhopping and shopping binges, according to a new book.
"Women lie as a survival technique, but also to get what they want," said Susan Shapiro Barash, author of "Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie," published by St. Martin's Press this week.
Barish said a Rockland County woman stripped of her secrets on Fox TV's reality show "Moment of Truth" last week proves her research true.
Lauren Cleri, 26, admitted on air she had cheated on her NYPD cop husband and preferred an ex-boyfriend. But she failed a polygraph, and lost $200,000, by answering "yes" when asked if she believed she was a good person.
"It supports my thesis that women are talented at lying- but perhaps not enough to pass a lie-detector test," Barash said.
Barash interviewed 500 women nationwide who answered her Craigslist ads seeking females to confide what they fib about. Among her findings:
* 75 percent lie about how much money they spend. For instance, they sneak purchases inside their homes after shopping or hide the price tags.
* 50 percent harbor "mixed feelings about mothering." One told Barash, "I look at these children and I crave sleep and free time. They wear me out and make me jealous of working women who have no children, no husbands."
* More than 60 percent cheated on their husbands. A 32-year-old mother conducted her trysts while telling her trusting husband she was working late. Even in asking for a divorce, she withheld the truth: "I didn't say I had fallen for another man. He was better off with my lies."
Many women use the "betterment lie," as Barash calls it, as a means to an end.
A 30-year-old model romanced a middle-aged married man for the money. After snagging him, she faked her affections: "I say 'I love you,' and don't mean it."
Some lie to cover up childhood incest or domestic abuse, or taboo behavior like drinking, gambling or Internet-porn addiction.
More than 80 percent believe in "beneficial lying." A New Jersey mom doesn't tell her well-behaved daughter about her own wild teen years of marijuana and partying.
Urban women favor the "competitive lie," Barash said. "You lie about money and cosmetic surgery. Your out-of-work husband is a 'consultant.' You embellish your kids' accomplishments, or downplay their SAT tutoring."
In the "lying to yourself" category, the book mentions Hillary Rodham Clinton, who as first lady went on TV to blast the Monica Lewinsky scandal as a political attack against her husband. She later acknowledged Bill's cheating.
Others lie because "there's too much to lose," Barash said. Rudy Giuliani's wife, Judith, guarded a secret that she was married twice, and not once, previously. The truth, which Rudy apparently knew, hit the front pages when he ran for president.
(from The New York Post)
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
The National Temperature Index for tomorrow is 612°F/322°C, the first time the NTI's been above 600 since November 21, 2007.
I'm sorry, but voting for a presidential candidate because you like the choice for vice president is like getting married to a woman because you like her cat.
The good news... kgb.com is back on the air.
The bad news... it's now just another one of those stupid link pages.
"If you have leverage, you're stuffed."
Hedge Funds Reel From Margin Calls
Even on Treasuries
By Tom Cahill and Katherine Burton
March 10 (Bloomberg) The hedge-fund industry is reeling from its worst crisis in a decade as banks are now demanding more money pledged to support outstanding loans even when the investment is backed by the full faith and credit of the United States. (emphasis added.)
Since Feb. 15, at least six hedge funds, totaling more than $5.4 billion, have been forced to liquidate or sell holdings because their lenders- staggered by almost $190 billion of asset writedowns and credit losses caused by the collapse of the subprime-mortgage market- raised borrowing rates by as much as 10-fold with new claims for extra collateral.
While lenders are most unsettled by credit consisting of real estate and consumer debt, bankers are now attempting to raise the rates they charge on Treasuries, considered the world's safest securities, because of the price fluctuations in the bond market.
"If you have leverage, you're stuffed," said Alex Allen, chief investment officer of London-based Eddington Capital Management Ltd., which has $195 million invested in hedge funds for clients. He likens the crisis to a bank panic turned upside down with bankers, not depositors, concerned they won't get their money back.
(Full Bloomberg story here
Quote of the day
Prolonged and deep depressions are avoidable and will not occur again, unless we take complete leave of our wits- which we could.
-Harry Bullis, General Mills Chairman of the Board, 1955
Monday, March 10, 2008
Quote of the day
Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power.
-George Bernard Shaw
The homeopathic implications are alarming...
By JEFF DONN, MARTHA MENDOZA and JUSTIN PRITCHARD,
Associated Press Writers
A vast array of pharmaceuticals- including antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones- have been found in the drinking water supplies of at least 41 million Americans, an Associated Press investigation shows.
To be sure, the concentrations of these pharmaceuticals are tiny, measured in quantities of parts per billion or trillion, far below the levels of a medical dose. Also, utilities insist their water is safe.
But the presence of so many prescription drugs- and over-the-counter medicines like acetaminophen and ibuprofen- in so much of our drinking water is heightening worries among scientists of long-term consequences to human health.
In the course of a five-month inquiry, the AP discovered that drugs have been detected in the drinking water supplies of 24 major metropolitan areas- from Southern California to Northern New Jersey, from Detroit to Louisville, Ky.
Water providers rarely disclose results of pharmaceutical screenings, unless pressed, the AP found. For example, the head of a group representing major California suppliers said the public "doesn't know how to interpret the information" and might be unduly alarmed.
How do the drugs get into the water?
Oh, take a guess...
Copyright © 1987-2018 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
The email@example.com e-mail address is now something other than firstname.lastname@example.org saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used email@example.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that firstname.lastname@example.org was no longer email@example.com but rather firstname.lastname@example.org which is longer than email@example.com and more letters to type than firstname.lastname@example.org and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than email@example.com but actually just as functional as firstname.lastname@example.org? I sent e-mails from the email@example.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used firstname.lastname@example.org in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the email@example.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which firstname.lastname@example.org was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for email@example.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that firstname.lastname@example.org no longer is the email@example.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. firstname.lastname@example.org. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...
440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!
get kgb krap!