Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.
network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...
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no. we're not that kgb.
The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!
"No religious Test shall ever be required as a
Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the
Article VI, U.S. Constitution
Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000
Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000
"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"
Our riveting and morally compelling...
One of 51,834 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
A volcano, an aurora, and a dazzling starfield. Iceland belongs in a George Lucas movie...
Friday, August 04, 2006
Snakes on a Phone
In what has to be one of the most brilliant marketing schemes ever devised, you can arrange to have Samuel L. Jackson email or phone a friend or relative and urge them to take you to see Snakes on a Plane, a film that's achieved legendary status months prior to its release.
Just go to snakesonaplane.com, and click on the cellphone. Hilarity will ensue.
Quote of the day
Police said today that they found a bottle of tequila in Mel's Lexus. So let's sum up what happened here: Mel Gibson, who grew up in Australia, was drinking alcohol from Mexico in his Japanese car while yelling about the Jews in Israel. You know where he was coming from? A Thai restaurant. Welcome to America.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Quotes of the day
If people behaved like governments, you'd call the cops.
-Kelvin Throop, III
Before a war military science seems a real science, like astronomy; but
after a war it seems more like astrology.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
It appears there is also a Pink Side to The Force. The potential marketing/intellectual property dispute opportunities are staggering.
If the Administration was truly concerned about the welfare of society, they'd fund stem cell research and ban Photoshop.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Today's must see teevee
7 p.m. Modern Marvels
An episode on "Desert Tech" reveals how air conditioning, hydroelectric power and window tinting allow millions of Southwestern residents to pretend they live somewhere else. History Channel.
8 p.m. House
A husband stops breathing while engaging in some bedroom role playing with his wife. Viewers should note: Just because a woman is dressed like a nurse, it doesn't mean she is competent medical professional. Fox.
Quotes of the day
Elsewhere, despite the death of the head of its military wing, Islamic Jihad is determined to continue its struggle against Israel, according to its new spokesman Mel Gibson.
-The Borowitz Report
Everyone's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy
way: stop participating in it.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Quote of the day
The connection between no sex and anger is real.
It's why prizefighters stay celibate when they're in
training: so that on fight night, they're pissed off
and ready to kill. It's why football players don't
have sex after Wednesday. And, conversely, it's
why Bill Clinton never started a war.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Quote of the day
When the church wins the culture wars, it inevitably loses. When it conquers the world, it becomes the world. When you put your trust in the sword, you lose the cross.
-Rev. Gregory A. Boyd, who spoke his conscience and lost about 20% of his flock.
Other quotes from the article:
America wasn't founded as a theocracy. America was founded by people trying to escape theocracies. Never in history have we had a Christian theocracy where it wasn't bloody and barbaric. That's why our Constitution wisely put in a separation of church and state.
I am sorry to tell you that America is not the light of the world and the hope of the world. The light of the world and the hope of the world is Jesus Christ.
I don't think there's a particular angle we have on society that others lack. All good, decent people want good and order and justice. Just don't slap the label 'Christian' on it.?
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All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
The firstname.lastname@example.org e-mail address is now something other than email@example.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used firstname.lastname@example.org as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that email@example.com was no longer firstname.lastname@example.org but rather email@example.com which is longer than firstname.lastname@example.org and more letters to type than email@example.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than firstname.lastname@example.org but actually just as functional as email@example.com? I sent e-mails from the firstname.lastname@example.org address to just about everybody I knew who had used email@example.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the firstname.lastname@example.org change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which email@example.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for firstname.lastname@example.org would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that email@example.com no longer is the firstname.lastname@example.org they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. email@example.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...
440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!
get kgb krap!