Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.
network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...
Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
dcl dialogue online!
no. we're not that kgb.
The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!
"No religious Test shall ever be required as a
Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the
Article VI, U.S. Constitution
Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000
Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000
"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"
Our riveting and morally compelling...
One of 51,823 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.
Thursday, December 25, 2003
Santa and my granddaughter Leanna hope KGB Report readers (all three of you) have a Merry Christmas.
And Mom? This is what Santa does on Christmas Day.
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
and on earth peace, good will toward men
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
Sunday, December 21, 2003
The hits just keep on coming...
The latest interesting sender names from the old spam filter:
Haddock I. Debtors
Revenge F. Chapping
Huron T. Biped
Default U. Enticed
Retrospect C. Flyswatter
Detoured T. Gruesomely
Intelligence O. Accumulate
Parched D. Grooving
Impetuous H. Vertebral
Rockne T. Flummoxing
Gestating G. Undersides
Mr. Undersides was hawking Viagra; Messrs. Debtors and Chapping were shilling online casinos. I didn't bother to read the messages sent by the other outrageously-named miscreants.
Good thing the Feds passed that anti-spam law, huh?
Odds and ends
I'm back in Pittsburgh through January 4, ostensibly on vacation. But every time I plan to take some time off, a new consulting project (or two) shows up. I actually don't mind... the week between Christmas and New Years' is otherwise typically chock full of ennui. The missus will be at work, so I'll stay at home and write code in my underwear with the dog at my feet. I'm actually much more productive that way, but I can't use that approach at my place of employment. It frightens the cleaning people.
My real job is supporting and writing applications for Datalogics' DL Pager, a batch composition (typesetting) system that's been around for about 27 years and can do just about anything faster and better than any other product on the market. I'm one of the top five Pager application developers in the country... which is sort of like being the best dressed man on radio. Virtually no one has heard of Pager, but the odds are you encounter something produced by it on a regular basis. I'd tell you who some of our customers are, but then I'd be forced to hunt you down and kill you.
For a hands-on example of what Pager can do, visit the Datalogics web site. I had a lot of fun developing the typesetting code for this. (The web front end asp code was written by Hari Chandra.) We were trying to think of something we could put on the web to demonstate Pager's speed and versatility. The problem is, in this GUI-mad word, it's kind of difficult to promote a batch-based program. Doug Cogan, our VP of engineering, suggested using The Scarlet Pimpernel and allowing the user to customize the story. It's a lot of fun... sort of like MadLibs on steroids... and you can produce some pretty outrageous output depending on how depraved you are.
Have at it, then.
Copyright © 1987-2021 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
The firstname.lastname@example.org e-mail address is now something other than email@example.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used firstname.lastname@example.org as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that email@example.com was no longer firstname.lastname@example.org but rather email@example.com which is longer than firstname.lastname@example.org and more letters to type than email@example.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than firstname.lastname@example.org but actually just as functional as email@example.com? I sent e-mails from the firstname.lastname@example.org address to just about everybody I knew who had used email@example.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the firstname.lastname@example.org change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which email@example.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for firstname.lastname@example.org would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that email@example.com no longer is the firstname.lastname@example.org they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. email@example.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...
440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!
get kgb krap!