Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

Da Burg Annat

I Have Issues

Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
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Saturday, July 26, 2003

It's a little known fact...

That composer Andrew Lloyd Webber's favorite tune is "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini". In fact, if you listen closely to the title song from The Phantom of the Opera, you'll discover the melody is, in fact, a minor chord paraphrase of the 60s hit. Webber liked it so much he produced another version of the pop ditty that hit Number 1 on the UK charts in 1990.

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Thursday, July 24, 2003

Lies, damned lies, and statistics:

"The following statistics come from the Centers for Disease Control website: On a daily basis, on average, 10 Americans die by drowning, and nine Americans die by fire in their homes. 14 Americans die by pedestrian accidents. 27 Americans die in falls. On average, 50 Americans a day are murdered. 118 die in auto accidents, and 25 people die from A.I.D.S. every day, on average. Yesterday, two Americans died in battle in Iraq."-Rush Limbaugh

"There are about 145,000 Americans in Iraq, and about 290,000,000 in the US. Thus 2 deaths a day among those in Iraq is the same rate as 4,000 deaths a day in the US as a whole."-William C. Waterhouse

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Monday, July 21, 2003

Warp Speed

Matt Jeffries NCC-1701

Walter M. "Matt" Jeffries died today. He was 82.

A freelance aviation illustrator who drifted into the motion picture business, Jeffries designed the U.S.S. Enterprise for the original Star Trek series.

Jeffries had flown in World War II, and his aviation background was the main reason the head of the art department at MGM assigned him to work on the pilot episode of the science fiction series. As luck would have it, the producer of the show- Gene Roddenberry- had also flown B17s during the war. The two began an association that would result in the creation of a ship design that's instantly recognizable everywhere in the world.

Jeffries received only rudimentary guidance from Roddenberry, whose instructions were, simply: "no flames, no fins, no rockets. Make it look like it has power."

In addition to the external shape of the fictional starship, Jeffries also devised the bridge of the Enterprise. Its circular layout has been copied by business and the military for various operations centers, but its construction was actually dictated by the demands of series television. Composed of movable pie-shaped wedges, the arrangement allowed sections of the bridge to be pulled out to permit room for cameras and other equipment.

Unlike many art directors, whose contributions are mostly unrecognized outside the trade, Jeffries attained a sort of immortality. A crawlspace he designed for an episode of the original series was dubbed a "Jeffries Tube" by the cast and crew. The name stuck, and every Federation starship in every Star Trek television series, motion picture or novel has one of the eponymous passageways.

Jeffries' fame as a starship designer is similar to the late DeForest Kelley's success as Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy. Kelley originally wanted to become a doctor, but couldn't afford medical school. He noted in a 1982 interview with Allan Asherman that "I'd wanted to be a physician and couldn't - and yet became the most well-known doctor in the galaxy."

Similary, Jeffries wanted to design aircraft and couldn't - and yet will be remembered as the man who built the most well-known starship in history.

Captain Kirk braves a Jeffries Tube

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All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The e-mail address is now something other than saga. used to be until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up and adopting created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the domain name in 1993, and had since that time used as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that was no longer but rather which is longer than and more letters to type than and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than but actually just as functional as I sent e-mails from the address to just about everybody I knew who had used in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that no longer is the they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...


Crystal Methodist

Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

I am a professional. Do not try this at home.

I canna change the laws of physics

As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)

Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Left wing liberal nut job

Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.

Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.

If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?

Nutrition makes me puke

Feral Geek

eat wisely

Dyslexics have more fnu!

It's here!

Eff and Scrute

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Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable

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