Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.
network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...
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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!
"No religious Test shall ever be required as a
Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the
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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000
Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000
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Our riveting and morally compelling...
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Saturday, May 03, 2003
Speaking of appropriate venues...
I no longer feel odd about having a telephone in the bathroom in my house back in Pittsburgh.
And would you really want to touch the keyboard?
How far will MSN go to get new subscribers? Apparently to the portable potty at your local summer concert or festival.
MSN UK is creating what Microsoft calls the world's first Internet outhouse, or iLoo, complete with flat-screen plasma display, wireless keyboard and broadband access. MSN UK spokesman Matthew Whittingham described the portable toilet as the first "WWW.C," referring to the term W.C., or water closet.
"This is another demonstration of Microsoft moving into new product areas to expand its revenue base, " said IDC analyst Roger Kay. (Although some of us who have to work with their software on a daily basis can tell you Microsoft is already quite experienced producing sh*tty products.-KGB)
The iLoo isn't Microsoft's first attempt at a festival-oriented public PC. "We've had the world's first-ever cyber park bench we launched two years ago," Whittingham said. Like iLoo, the park bench served up Internet access.
The portable lavatory is being tested and will debut at festivals around Great Britain this summer. Microsoft plans to build a single prototype MSN iLoo that will travel the festival circuit, and may build more if the response to the pioneering potty warrants it, Whittingham said.
MSN UK is negotiating with toilet paper manufacturers for special rolls with Web addresses, or URLs, printed on them.
Friday, May 02, 2003
Send in the Clown
Assuming the arrival of President Bush on the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln in a jet fighter indicates a new policy- using a mode of transportation appropriate to the destination venue- one can only hope the next time he addresses Congress he'll be pointed down Pennsylvania Avenue and shot out of a cannon.
Liked Dubya on the aircraft carrier? He has a long military history.
Thursday, May 01, 2003
I'm sure they're a great company and all...
But I sure as hell would hate to be a high school football player arriving at the opposing team's field in a bus with this name plastered on the side.
Sunday, April 27, 2003
Okay, so indulge me.
Is this some cute kid, or what?
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The firstname.lastname@example.org e-mail address is now something other than email@example.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used firstname.lastname@example.org as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that email@example.com was no longer firstname.lastname@example.org but rather email@example.com which is longer than firstname.lastname@example.org and more letters to type than email@example.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than firstname.lastname@example.org but actually just as functional as email@example.com? I sent e-mails from the firstname.lastname@example.org address to just about everybody I knew who had used email@example.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the firstname.lastname@example.org change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which email@example.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for firstname.lastname@example.org would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that email@example.com no longer is the firstname.lastname@example.org they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. email@example.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...
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