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Quotes of the day: RNC edition
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Published Friday, August 31, 2012 @ 10:22 AM EDT
Aug 31 2012

I never thought it was a good idea for attorneys to be president.
-Clint Eastwood, endorsing Harvard Law grad Romney.

We're not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact-checkers.
-Neil Newhouse, Romney Campaign official pollster

‎"A Party too patriotic for facts... a candidate too successful for taxes... a city where flip-flops are eveningwear... from Tampa, Florida, this is The Republican National Convention..." -The Daily Show opening, 8/30/2012

I once got drunk and screamed at a couch for 15 minutes. But it wasn't televised.
-Elayne Boosler

Clint Eastwood's RNC speech was to imaginary Obama in an empty chair. I'm drafting a DNC speech to imaginary Romney in an empty factory.
-George Takei

Ryan stretching the truth to make his speech more effective is just another form of doping. In that if you believe him, you are a dope.
-Stephen Colbert

Warning: if you have a heart condition or are pregnant you should not watch. Not because of the excitement, but because you probably won't like the Republican positions on health care and reproductive rights.
-Stephen Colbert


Categories: Clint Eastwood, Colbert Report, Daily Show, Elayne Boosler, George Takei, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Quotes of the day, Stephen Colbert


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Quote of the day
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Published Thursday, August 30, 2012 @ 10:46 AM EDT
Aug 30 2012

A new book on the Bin Laden killing proves that the 2,974 people killed at the World Trade Center on 9/11 weren't armed.
-Elayne Boosler


Categories: Elayne Boosler, Quotes of the day


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Another year...
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Published Thursday, August 30, 2012 @ 8:59 AM EDT
Aug 30 2012

Granddaughter Leanna enters fourth grade this year. Bella wishes her well and sends her off with a good luck doggy kiss.


Categories: KGB Family


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Quote of the day
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Published Wednesday, August 29, 2012 @ 12:13 PM EDT
Aug 29 2012

John Boehner accusing Obama of not creating jobs is like Lucy accusing Charlie Brown of not kicking the football.
-John Fugelsang


Categories: Barack Obama, John Boehner, John Fugelsang, Politics, Quotes of the day


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Photo of the day
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Published Wednesday, August 29, 2012 @ 10:45 AM EDT
Aug 29 2012

A nighttime view of Hurricane Isaac with city lights visible through the storm; from NASA's Suomi NPP satellite yesterday.


Categories: NASA, Photo of the day, Weather


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Still waiting for the answers
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Published Tuesday, August 28, 2012 @ 10:04 AM EDT
Aug 28 2012

(YouTube video: Peter, Paul and Mary perform "Blowin' in the Wind" at the August 28, 1983 March on Washington.)


Categories: History, Martin Luther King, Jr., Music, Peter, Paul and Mary, Politics, Video, YouTube


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Déjà vu
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Published Tuesday, August 28, 2012 @ 7:07 AM EDT
Aug 28 2012

From KGB Report, seven years ago today:

Sunday, August 28, 2005
posted by KGB at 10:15 PM (permalink)

Apocalypse Wow

Wow. I've never seen a forecast like this:

URGENT - WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE NEW ORLEANS LA
413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005

...EXTREMELY DANGEROUS HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER DELTA... ...DEVASTATING DAMAGE EXPECTED...

MOST OF THE AREA WILL BE UNINHABITABLE FOR WEEKS...PERHAPS LONGER. AT LEAST ONE HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL FAILURE. ALL GABLED ROOFS WILL FAIL...LEAVING THOSE HOMES SEVERELY DAMAGED OR DESTROYED.

THE MAJORITY OF INDUSTRIAL BUILDINGS WILL BECOME NON FUNCTIONAL. PARTIAL TO COMPLETE WALL AND ROOF FAILURE IS EXPECTED. ALL WOOD FRAMED LOW RISING APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL BE DESTROYED. CONCRETE BLOCK LOW RISE APARTMENTS WILL SUSTAIN MAJOR DAMAGE...INCLUDING SOME WALL AND ROOF FAILURE.

HIGH RISE OFFICE AND APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL SWAY DANGEROUSLY...A FEW TO THE POINT OF TOTAL COLLAPSE. ALL WINDOWS WILL BLOW OUT.

AIRBORNE DEBRIS WILL BE WIDESPREAD...AND MAY INCLUDE HEAVY ITEMS SUCH AS HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES AND EVEN LIGHT VEHICLES. SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES AND LIGHT TRUCKS WILL BE MOVED. THE BLOWN DEBRIS WILL CREATE ADDITIONAL DESTRUCTION. PERSONS...PETS...AND LIVESTOCK EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL FACE CERTAIN DEATH IF STRUCK.

POWER OUTAGES WILL LAST FOR WEEKS...AS MOST POWER POLES WILL BE DOWN AND TRANSFORMERS DESTROYED. WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS.

THE VAST MAJORITY OF NATIVE TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING...BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED. FEW CROPS WILL REMAIN. LIVESTOCK LEFT EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL BE KILLED.


Categories: History, Weather


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Observation of the day
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Published Monday, August 27, 2012 @ 7:38 AM EDT
Aug 27 2012

If you think you are having a bad day, remember someone is going to have Snooki as a mom.
-Unattributed Facebook post


Categories: Observations


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Really, NBC?
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Published Sunday, August 26, 2012 @ 8:18 AM EDT
Aug 26 2012

Watch for NBC's feature story on the discover of America by Christopher Cross.


Categories: Neil Armstrong, News Media, WTF?


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The final giant leap
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Published Sunday, August 26, 2012 @ 12:02 AM EDT
Aug 26 2012

Neil Armstrong - August 5, 1930 – August 25, 2012

"For those who may ask what they can do to honor Neil, we have a simple request. Honor his example of service, accomplishment and modesty, and the next time you walk outside on a clear night and see the moon smiling down at you, think of Neil Armstrong and give him a wink."
-Official Armstrong family statement.


Categories: NASA, Neil Armstrong


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Quotes of the day
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Published Saturday, August 25, 2012 @ 8:34 AM EDT
Aug 25 2012

Quotes of the day- Truman Capote:
 
Truman Streckfus Persons (September 30, 1924 – August 25, 1984), known as Truman Capote, was an American author, many of whose short stories, novels, plays, and nonfiction are recognized literary classics, including the novella Breakfast at Tiffany's (1958) and the true crime novel In Cold Blood (1966), which he labeled a "nonfiction novel." At least 20 films and television dramas have been produced from Capote novels, stories and screenplays.

A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That's why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.

All children are morbid: it's their one saving grace.

All literature is gossip.

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.

Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the yard and shot it.

I dream of eagles and bring forth sparrows.

I well understand why analysts demand high payment, for what can be more tedious than listening to another person recount his dreams?

I've tried to believe, but I don't, I can't, and there's no use pretending.”

It is well known that women outlive men; could it merely be superior vanity that keeps them going?

It's a scientific fact that for every year you live in California, you lose two points off your I.Q.

It's redundant to die in Los Angeles.

It’s better to look at the sky than live there.

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

Life is difficult enough without Meryl Streep movies.

More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones.

That's the question: is truth an illusion, or is illusion truth, or are they essentially the same? Myself, I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true.

The better the actor the more stupid he is.

The brain may take advice, but not the heart, and love, having no geography, knows no boundaries: weight and sink it deep, no matter, it will rise and find the surface.

The problem with living outside the law is that you no longer have its protection.

There are certain shades of limelight that can wreck a girl's complexion.

There is only one unpardonable sin- deliberate cruelty. All else can be forgiven.

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.

Well, I'm about as tall as a shotgun, and just as noisy.

You can't blame a writer for what the characters say.

Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.


Categories: Quotes of the day, Truman Capote


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The Weather Channel has sent Jim Cantore to Tampa
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Published Saturday, August 25, 2012 @ 7:17 AM EDT
Aug 25 2012

You're screwed.

(Weather Channel video: Jim Cantore arrives in town.)


Categories: Jim Cantore, Video, Weather, YouTube


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Another observation of the day
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Published Friday, August 24, 2012 @ 9:50 AM EDT
Aug 24 2012

My mortgage company's web site itemizes my monthly payment into escrow, interest, and principle (sic), which explains why the amount in that last category is so small.


Categories: Observations


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Observation of the day
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Published Friday, August 24, 2012 @ 7:30 AM EDT
Aug 24 2012


Categories: Bill Maher, Calvin and Hobbes, Observations, Religion


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Quote of the day
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Published Thursday, August 23, 2012 @ 7:08 AM EDT
Aug 23 2012

"Abstinence-only" sex education is like "just hold it" potty training.
-Roy Zimmerman


Categories: Quotes of the day


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Quotes of the day
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Published Wednesday, August 22, 2012 @ 6:53 AM EDT
Aug 22 2012

Quotes of the day- Dorothy Parker:
 
Dorothy Parker (August 22, 1893 - June 7, 1967) was an American poet, short story writer, critic and satirist, best known for her wit, wisecracks, and eye for 20th century urban foibles.

From a conflicted and unhappy childhood, Parker rose to acclaim, both for her literary output in such venues as The New Yorker and as a founding member of the Algonquin Round Table. Following the breakup of the circle, Parker traveled to Hollywood to pursue screenwriting. Her successes there, including two Academy Award nominations, were curtailed as her involvement in left-wing politics led to a place on the Hollywood blacklist.

Dismissive of her own talents, she deplored her reputation as a "wisecracker." Nevertheless, her literary output and reputation for her sharp wit have endured. (Click for full article.)

A girl's best friend is her mutter.

Age before beauty... and pearls before swine.

All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.

As only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.

Authors and actors and artists and such
Never know nothing, and never know much.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.)

Ducking for apples- change one letter and it's the story of my life.

Every love is the love before
In a duller dress.

Every year back comes Spring, with nasty little birds, yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

Four be the things I'd have been better without:
love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

Her golden rule is plain enough -
Just get them young and treat them rough.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

I hate almost all rich people, but I think I'd be darling at it.

I hate women. They get on my nerves.

I hate writing, but I love having written.

I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.

I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.

I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

I should have stayed at home for dinner. I could have had something on a tray. The head of John the Baptist, or something.

I wish I could drink like a lady
I can take one or two at the most
Three and I'm under the table
Four and I'm under the host

I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. But if that's too adorable, I'd rather have money.

I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me... I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again.
If I abstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much;
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.

If I had any decency, I'd be dead. Most of my friends are.
(at age 70)

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
(Upon entering the hospital for an abortion.)

It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay a hat and a few friends.

It's not the tragedies that kill us, it's the messes.

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.

Oh, seek my love, your newer way;
I'll not be left in sorrow.
So long as I have yesterday,
Go take your damned tomorrow!

People Who Do Things exceed my endurance;
God, for a man that solicits insurance!

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.

Scratch a lover, and find a foe.

She looks like something that would eat its young.

She wore a low but futile decolletage.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of their tires.

The girl speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them.

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

The place was filled with people who looked as if they had been scraped out of drains.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are “check enclosed.”

There are those who, in their pride and their innocence, dedicate their careers to writing humorous pieces. Poor dears, the world is stacked against them from the start, for everybody in it has the right to look at their work and say, "I don't think that's funny."

They sicken of the calm, who know the storm.

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

Three highballs, and I think I'm St. Francis of Assisi.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

What fresh hell can this be?

Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
One perfect rose.

Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.


Categories: Dorothy Parker, Quotes of the day


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But is it art?
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Published Tuesday, August 21, 2012 @ 7:16 AM EDT
Aug 21 2012

When genres collide:

Godzilla vs. Thomas Kinkaid


Categories: Godzilla, Photo of the day, Poster of the day, Thomas Kinkaid


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Photo of the day
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Published Monday, August 20, 2012 @ 9:26 AM EDT
Aug 20 2012

'Tis a silly place. Happy Monday.


Categories: Internet, Photo of the day, WTF?


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Emmy-Winning Actor William Windom Dead at 88
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Published Monday, August 20, 2012 @ 6:53 AM EDT
Aug 20 2012

(from ETOnline)

Emmy Award winning actor William Windom passed away at his home in Woodacre, California last Thursday, his wife Patricia confirms. The 88-year-old actor died of congestive heart failure.

In addition to numerous appearances in film and TV, the actor is best known for playing Star Trek's Commodore Matt Decker, Murder She Wrote's Dr. Seth Hazlitt, and multiple memorable roles on the Rod Sterling series, The Twilight Zone and Night Gallery.

(YouTube video: William Windom in "The Doomsday Machine")

Windom won an Emmy in 1970 for best actor in a comedy series for his performance in My World and Welcome to It, based on author James Thurber's essays and cartoons. The actor is survived by his four children and wife of 37 years.

---

William Windom's Commodore Decker has been an integral part of KGB Report for more than a decade. If you try to access a non-existent page, you'll see this:


Categories: James Thurber, Star Trek, Video, William Windom, YouTube


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The man who summoned the future...
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Published Sunday, August 19, 2012 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Aug 19 2012

Gene Roddenberry: August 19, 1921 – October 24, 1991

Gene Roddenberry attends the 25th Anniversary Gala for Star Trek
at Paramount Studios in Hollywood on June 6, 1991.
(Source: www.film.com)

Since his death on October 24, 1991, a half-dozen authorized and unauthorized biographies and tell-all books indicate that Gene Roddenberry was a serial adulterer, somewhat two-faced, and not above claiming credit for all things Star Trek, ignoring the considerable contributions of others who created many of the most iconic elements of the franchise.

Indeed, the majority of the more than 700 hours of television episodes and motion pictures with Star Trek in the title were either produced after Roddenberry's death or with little input from him. Paramount "promoted" him to executive consultant of the Trek films after the disaster that was Star Trek: The Motion Picture and handed the actual production responsibility to Harve Bennett, Ralph Winter, Leonard Nimoy, Rick Berman, and others.

Consider the Trek-based gizmos that are now commonplace. The communicator (cell phone), the tricorder (smartphone), the prehistoric "bluetooth" earpieces worn by Spock and Uhura- while Roddenberry had final approval, these were all the creations of designer Matt Jeffries, who's virtually unknown outside the Trek universe.

To which I say... so what?

The fact remains that whenever and wherever Star Trek appears, you'll see the credit "Created by Gene Roddenberry" somewhere. And his creation is one of remarkable cultural influence, far beyond "Beam me up, Scotty" and that great Vulcan pon farr battle music that should, by federal law, accompany all fights at hockey games. Much of the technology we use today was inspired by that kitschy 1960s show with the plywood and styrofoam sets.

Think I'm kidding? Watch:

(YouTube video of Steve Jobs explaining the driving force behind his design philosophy.)

That's why Roddenberry- and Star Trek- will never fade from our collective consciousness.


Categories: Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek


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Happy birthday, Elayne!
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Published Saturday, August 18, 2012 @ 7:02 AM EDT
Aug 18 2012

(Elayne Boosler in Kuwait earlier this week, on a USO tour.)

Happy birthday to a brilliant comedian, animal activist, lovely lady and all-around swell person, Elayne Boosler. Visit her website, as well as Tails of Joy, the charity she runs that raises funds for the smallest and neediest- as well as most effective- annimal rescue organizations.

Some of Elayne's funniest lines follow... better yet, click here for Elayne's own KGB Report page.

-----

Computers are such time-saving devices. In fact, I've just spent the last three years trying to print out an envelope.

Every time I fly, they x-ray my shoes. Let me ask you a question: what woman is going to blow up her shoes?

Getting old has its advantages. I used to have to buy pot, now I get it from friends with arthritis.

I buy Hustler because I like to hide The New York Post in something on the way home.

I do clean up a little. If company is coming, I'll wipe the lipstick off the milk container.

I don't do a feminist act. I'm a human being trapped in a woman's body.

I have gone from day of the week underwear to day of the week pill dispensers.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.

Mr. Right is now a guy who hasn't been laid in fifteen years.

My ancestors wandered through the wilderness for 40 years because even in Biblical times, men would not stop to ask directions.

My friend has two dogs, a Shi Tzu and a Shar Pei. She named them Fluff and Fold.

The last time I was going to the hairdresser to get my roots done, my dog gave me a sad look for leaving the house again. I said to him, “If you could see color, you'd know where I was going.”

The latest fad, giving birth under water, may be less traumatic for the baby, but it's more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

The Vatican is against surrogate motherhood. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

There's only one right way to lose weight: vodka and cigarettes.

We should pass a new law. Nobody can get famous just by sleeping with a celebrity and getting naked in a magazine. You have to make a contribution to society first. You can still be in Playboy, you just have to do something worthwhile beforehand. “I've developed a vaccine, and I'd like to show you my breasts.” Go ahead, you've earned it.

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

You know you're getting fat when you step on your dog's tail and he dies.

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot.


Categories: Elayne Boosler, Quotes of the day


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Quotes of the day
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Published Friday, August 17, 2012 @ 8:54 AM EDT
Aug 17 2012

From David Letterman:

"Paul Ryan likes to hunt and we all know that a vice president who hunts is always a good choice."

"In college Paul Ryan drove the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. So he and Romney have something in common. Both have the experience of driving a car with a dog on the roof."


Categories: David Letterman, Dick Cheney, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Political Jokes of the Week, Politics, Quotes of the day


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Photo of the day
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Published Friday, August 17, 2012 @ 12:00 AM EDT
Aug 17 2012


Categories: Animals, Cats, Photo of the day


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The King
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Published Thursday, August 16, 2012 @ 6:42 AM EDT
Aug 16 2012

(Video:"Viva Las Vegas")

(Video:"In The Ghetto")

---

Elvis Aaron Presley (January 8, 1935 – August 16, 1977) was one of the most popular American singers of the 20th century. A cultural icon, he is commonly known by the single name Elvis. He is often referred to as the "King of Rock and Roll" or simply "the King".

Presley is regarded as one of the most important figures of 20th-century popular culture. He had a versatile voice and unusually wide success encompassing many genres, including country, pop ballads, gospel, and blues. He is the best- selling solo artist in the history of popular music. Nominated for 14 competitive Grammys, he won three (surprisingly, all in the gospel genre), and received the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award at age 36. He has been inducted into four music halls of fame.

Presley was scheduled to fly out of Memphis on the evening of August 16, 1977, to begin another tour. That afternoon, he was discovered, unresponsive, on his bathroom floor. Attempts to revive him failed, and death was officially pronounced at 3:30 pm at Baptist Memorial Hospital.

Presley's funeral was held at Graceland, on Thursday, August 18. Outside the gates, a car plowed into a group of fans, killing two women and critically injuring a third. Approximately 80,000 people lined the processional route to Forest Hill Cemetery, where Presley was buried next to his mother. Following an attempt to steal the singer's body in late August, the remains of both Elvis Presley and his mother were reburied in Graceland's Meditation Garden on October 2.

Graceland was opened to the public in 1982. Attracting over half a million visitors annually, it is the second most-visited home in the United States, after the White House. It was declared a National Historic Landmark in 2006. (Click for full Wikipedia article.)

---

It was one of the handful of "where were you" moments that occur in a lifetime. In August, 1977 I was working in a now-defunct typesetting shop in Bethel Park, less than two miles from my current home. At the time, though, we were living hand-to-mouth in West Mifflin, with a 17-month old baby and another due in about two months.

I was getting reading to leave to catch the trolley to downtown when the phone rang. This could not be good news. A bill collector? A baby deciding to arrive ahead of time?

No- the voice on the line said The King was dead.

The trolley and bus ride home, usually a solitary activity, was instead a rolling conversation with fellow riders about Elvis' unfortunate demise and how a major contributor to the soundtrack of our lives was gone.

That was 35 years ago, and Elvis- who paved the way for all the one-name wonders that followed- is still The King.


Categories: Elvis, Movies, Music, YouTube


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And so it goes...
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Published Wednesday, August 15, 2012 @ 6:46 AM EDT
Aug 15 2012

(For all you World News Now fans):

Linda Ellerbee (born August 15, 1944) is an American journalist who is most known for several jobs at NBC News, including Washington, DC correspondent, host of the Nickelodeon network's Nick News, and reporter and co-anchor of NBC News Overnight, which was recognized by the jurors of the duPont Columbia Awards as "possibly the best written and most intelligent news program ever."

Ellerbee was born Linda Jane Smith in Bryan, Texas. She attended River Oaks Elementary School, Lanier Middle School, and Lamar High School in Houston.

She also attended Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee, although she quit in 1964 without graduating.

Ellerbee traveled around the country for some time afterward, working itinerant jobs in radio. In her own words:

"I moved around some, married some, had two babies, worked for three radio stations, one of which hired me to read the news because I sounded black- my Texas heritage- and the black woman it had hired did not... In radio, I learned about keeping logs, editing audiotape, writing copy, selling air time, announcing, and "running a board," which sounds one hell of a lot more sporting than it is. After a stint working for Terry Miller, majority leader of the Alaska Senate, she was hired by the Dallas bureau of the Associated Press to write copy. She claims to have been fired after writing a catty personal letter on the AP's word processors and accidentally sending the letter out on the wire. The letter brought her to the attention of CBS television affiliate KHOU-TV, which hired her to replace Jessica Savitch in January 1973. Within several months she was hired by New York's WCBS-TV.

At NBC, Ellerbee worked as a reporter on The Today Show. Her first anchor job was on the prime-time version of Weekend. Ellerbee joined Lloyd Dobyns as co-host of Weekend when the show moved from its late-night time slot (where it rotated with SNL on Saturday nights) into direct prime time competition with CBS's 60 Minutes. As with the late-night incarnation, they would sign-off with the phrase, "And so it goes." A couple of years later, Ellerbee was again teamed with Dobyns (and later Bill Schechner) as hosts of NBC News Overnight, where their ineffable writing stylea made the show somewhat reminiscent of their stint on Weekend. They ended each broadcast with a short, usually wry, commentary, again signing off with the catchphrase, "And so it goes," which later became the title of her first memoir.

In 1986, after the cancellation of Overnight, Ellerbee moved to rival network ABC. There she served as a reporter for the morning program Good Morning America. At ABC, Ellerbee was able to co-write and co-anchor (with Ray Gandolf) Our World, a weekly primetime historical series. She won an Emmy Award for her work on that program.

In 1987, Ellerbee and her life and business partner Rolfe Tessem left network news to start their own production company, Lucky Duck Productions. The company has produced programs for every major cable network, and has as its flagship program Nick News, a news program for children on Nickelodeon. That show has received three Peabody Awards (including one personal Peabody given to Ellerbee for her coverage of the Clinton investigation), a duPont Columbia Award and three Emmys. In 2004, Ellerbee was honored with an Emmy for her WE: Women’s Entertainment network series When I Was a Girl.

In 1989, she guest-starred as herself in an episode of the sitcom Murphy Brown. The episode, "Summer of '77," referenced that Ellerbee had auditioned for the anchor job which eventually went to the title character, played by Candice Bergen. Murphy Brown also accuses Ellerbee of stealing her catchphrase "And so it goes..." from her during a long haul flight. The two reminisce with Ellerbee saying she might like to go back to an old network job, and Brown wanting to take some time off to write a book. Both reply with "Nahh...".

Her autobiography, And So It Goes, was published in 1986. A second book of memoirs, Move on: Adventures in the Real World was published in 1992 and third, Take Big Bites: Adventures Around the World and Across the Table in 2005. In addition, she has authored an eight-part series of Girl Reporter books for young people, as well as a syndicated newspaper column.

In 1992, Ellerbee was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a double mastectomy. Since then, Ellerbee spends much of her time speaking to groups about how she fought the cancer and how women need to fight not only the disease and for better medical treatments of it, but to laugh in the face of cancer as well. (from Wikipedia)

-----

Linda Ellerbee quotations:

Change is one form of hope; to risk change is to believe in tomorrow.

I have always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is and will last until the day when the game is called on account of darkness. In this world, a good time to laugh is any time you can.

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?

If you believe in your heart that you are right, then you must fight with all your might to do it your way. Only dead fish swim with the stream all the time.

Nothing you think at twenty-five is so.

People are pretty much alike. It's only that our differences are more susceptible to definition than our similarities.

Putting people in a room and strapping wires to their wrist to find out if I make them tingle when I'm telling them about Beirut is a long way from Edward R. Murrow

Styles, like everything else, change. Style doesn't.

The two strongest messages we're sending through television are that popularity is everything, and that if it doesn't make money it's not worth anything.

Time doesn't go. Time stays. We go.

We call them Twinkies. You've seen them on television acting the news, modeling and fracturing the news while you wonder whether they've read the news- or if they've blow-dried their brains, too.

When the anchorman is wearing a colonel's uniform, it tells you something.

-----

(YouTube video: Linda Ellerbee discusses "NBC News Overnight")

From the last NBC News Overnight:

And so it goes.


Categories: ABC World News Now, Linda Ellerbee, NBC News Overnight, News Media


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Quotes of the day
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Published Tuesday, August 14, 2012 @ 6:44 AM EDT
Aug 14 2012

Quotes of the day- Steve Martin:
 
Stephen Glenn "Steve" Martin (born August 14, 1945) is an American actor, comedian, author, playwright, producer, musician and composer. Martin came to public notice as a writer for the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, and later became a frequent guest on The Tonight Show. In the 1970s, Martin performed his offbeat, absurdist comedy routines before packed houses on national tours. In 2004, Comedy Central ranked Martin at sixth place in a list of the 100 greatest stand-up comics.

Since the 1980s, having branched away from stand-up comedy, Martin has become a successful actor in both comedic and dramatic roles, as well as an author, playwright, pianist, and banjo player, eventually earning Emmy, Grammy, and American Comedy awards, among other honors. (Click for full article.)

A day without sunshine is like... night.

Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

How many people have never raised their hand before?

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth.

I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.

If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. There's a math lesson for you.

It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary... but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.

She had destroyed whatever was between us by making a profound gaffe: She met me.

Some people have a way with words, and other people... not have way, I guess.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.

Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? Take them to a museum and say, 'This is art, and you can't do it.

(YouTube video: "Be A Dentist", from "Little Shop of Horrors")


Categories: Little Shop of Horrors, Movies, Quotes of the day, Steve Martin, Video, YouTube


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Quotes of the day
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Published Monday, August 13, 2012 @ 6:36 AM EDT
Aug 13 2012

Quotes of the day, and murder in a shower- Alfred Hitchcock:
 
Sir Alfred Joseph Hitchcock, KBE (13 August 1899 – 29 April 1980) was an English film director and producer. He pioneered many techniques in the suspense and psychological thriller genres. After a successful career in British cinema in both silent films and early talkies, Hitchcock moved to Hollywood. On 19 April 1955, he became an American citizen while remaining a British subject.

Over a career spanning more than half a century, Hitchcock fashioned for himself a distinctive and recognisable directorial style. He pioneered the use of a camera made to move in a way that mimics a person's gaze, forcing viewers to engage in a form of voyeurism. He framed shots to maximise anxiety, fear, or empathy, and used innovative film editing. His stories frequently feature fugitives on the run from the law alongside "icy blonde" female characters. Many of Hitchcock's films have twist endings and thrilling plots featuring depictions of violence, murder, and crime, although many of the mysteries function as decoys or "MacGuffins" meant only to serve thematic elements in the film and the psychological examinations of the characters. Hitchcock's films also borrow many themes from psychoanalysis and feature strong sexual undertones. Through his cameo appearances in his own films, interviews, film trailers, and the television program Alfred Hitchcock Presents, he became a cultural icon. (Click for full article.)

Blondes make the best victims. They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.

Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds, just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms.

Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.

Give them pleasure- the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare.

I am a typed director. If I made Cinderella, the audience would immediately be looking for a body in the coach.

In the documentary the basic material has been created by God, whereas in the fiction film the director is a God; he must create life.

It's not true that I said “actors are cattle.” I said “they should be treated like cattle.”

I'm frightened of eggs, worse than frightened, they revolt me. That white round thing without any holes- have you ever seen anything more revolting than an egg yolk breaking and spilling its yellow liquid? Blood is jolly, red. But egg yolk is yellow, revolting. I've never tasted it.

I'm not against the police; I'm just afraid of them.

Never judge a country by its politicians.

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs.

Puns are the highest form of literature.

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

Self-plagiarism is style.

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.

Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn't change people's habits. It just kept them inside the house.

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

The only way to get rid of my fears is to make movies about them.

There is no terror in a bang, only in the anticipation of it.

There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating.

There's nothing to winning, really. That is, if you happen to be blessed with a keen eye, an agile mind, and no scruples whatsoever.

This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book- it makes a very poor doorstop.

(YouTube video: The infamous shower scene from Hitchcock's classic "Psycho." Happy Monday!)


Categories: Alfred Hitchcock, Movies, Psycho, Video, YouTube


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A Universe Not Made For Us
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Published Sunday, August 12, 2012 @ 6:40 AM EDT
Aug 12 2012

Observations for a Sunday morning...

We are the custodians of life's meaning. We long for a parent to care for us, to forgive us our errors, to save us from our childish mistakes. But knowledge is preferable to ignorance. Better by far to embrace the hard truth than a reassuring fable. If we crave some cosmic purpose, then let us find ourselves a worthy goal.
-Carl Sagan

(YouTube video: A Universe Not Made For Us: Carl Sagan on religion and geocentrism.)


Categories: Carl Sagan, Religion, Science


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Quotes of the day
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Published Saturday, August 11, 2012 @ 9:27 AM EDT
Aug 11 2012

Quotes of the day- Robert Green Ingersoll:
 
Robert Green Ingersoll (August 11, 1833 – July 21, 1899) was a Civil War veteran, American political leader, and orator during the Golden Age of Freethought, noted for his broad range of culture and his defense of agnosticism.

Click here for Rev. Don Beaudreault's sermon, "Thank God for Agnostics: A Celebration of the Life of Robert Ingersoll.

A college is a place where pebbles are polished and diamonds dimmed.

An argument should not depend for its force upon the name of its author. Facts need no pedigree, logic has no heraldry, and the living should not awed by the mistakes of the dead.

An infinite God ought to be able to protect himself, without going in partnership with State Legislatures. Certainly he ought not so to act that laws become necessary to keep him from being laughed at. No one thinks of protecting Shakespeare from ridicule, by the threat of fine and imprisonment.

Blasphemy is what an old mistake says of a newly discovered truth.

Christianity has such a contemptible opinion of human nature that it does not believe a man can tell the truth unless frightened by a belief in God. No lower opinion of the human race has ever been expressed.

Churches are becoming political organizations... It probably will not be long until the churches will divide as sharply upon political, as upon theological questions; and when that day comes, if there are not liberals enough to hold the balance of power, this Government will be destroyed. The liberty of man is not safe in the hands of any church. Wherever the Bible and sword are in partnership, man is a slave.

Courage without conscience is a wild beast.

Each nation has created a god, and the god has always resembled his creators. He hated and loved what they hated and loved, and he was invariably found on the side of those in power.

Every pulpit is a pillory, in which stands a hired culprit, defending the justice of his own imprisonment.

Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them.

For thousands of years people have been trying to force other people to think their way. Did they succeed? No. Will they succeed? No. Why? Because brute force is not an argument.

Give me the storm and stress of thought and action rather than the dead calm of ignorance and faith. Banish me from Eden when you will but first let me eat of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge.

Great virtues may draw attention from defects, they cannot sanctify them. A pebble surrounded by diamonds remains a common stone, and a diamond surrounded by pebbles is still a gem.

Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity.

I am not so much for the freedom of religion as I am for the religion of freedom.

I am the inferior of any man whose rights I trample under foot. Men are not superior by reason of the accidents of race or color. They are superior who have the best heart— the best brain

I belong to the Great Church which holds the world within its starlit aisles; that claims the great and good of every race and clime; that finds with joy the grain of gold in every creed, and floods with light and love the germs of good in every soul.

I cannot believe that there is any being in this universe who has created a human soul for eternal pain. I would rather that every god would destroy himself; I would rather that we all should go to eternal chaos, to black and starless night, than that just one soul should suffer eternal agony.

I cannot see why we should expect an infinite God to do better in another world than he does in this.

I suppose it can be truthfully said that Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity.

If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament, he would be a criminal. If he would follow strictly the teachings of the New, he would be insane.

If there be an infinite Being, he does not need our help- we need not waste our energies in his defense.

If we are immortal it is a fact in nature, and we are not indebted to priests for it, nor to bibles for it, and it cannot be destroyed by unbelief.

Ignorance is the soil in which belief in miracles grows.

In all ages hypocrites, called priests, have put crowns upon the heads of thieves, called kings.

In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments- there are consequences.

In the republic of mediocrity genius is dangerous.

Intelligence is the only moral guide.

It is contended by many that ours is a Christian government, founded upon the Bible, and that all who look upon the book as false or foolish are destroying the foundation of our country. The truth is, our government is not founded upon the rights of gods, but upon the rights of men. Our Constitution was framed, not to declare and uphold the deity of Christ, but the sacredness of humanity. Ours is the first government made by the people and for the people. It is the only nation with which the gods have had nothing to do. And yet there are some judges dishonest and cowardly enough to solemnly decide that this is a Christian country, and that our free institutions are based upon the infamous laws of Jehovah.

It is incredible that only idiots are absolutely sure of salvation. It is incredible that the more brain you have the less your chance is. There can be no danger in honest thought, and if the world ever advances beyond what it is to- day, it must be led by men who express their real opinions.

It may be that ministers really think that their prayers do good and it may be that frogs imagine that their croaking brings spring.

It seems to me that if there is some infinite being who wants us to think alike he would have made us alike.

Justice should remove the bandage from her eyes long enough to distinguish between the vicious and the unfortunate.

Labor is the only prayer that Nature answers; it is the only prayer that deserves an answer- good, honest, noble work.

Martyrdom, as a rule, establishes the sincerity of the martyr- never the correctness of his thought. Things are true or false in themselves. Truth cannot be affected by opinions; it cannot be changed, established, or affected by martyrdom. An error cannot be believed sincerely enough to make it a truth.

Ministers say that they teach charity. This is natural. They live on alms. All beggars teach that others should give.

My principal objections to orthodox religion are two- slavery here and hell hereafter.

Nature never prompted a loving mother to throw her child into the Ganges. Nature never prompted men to exterminate each other for a difference of opinion concerning the baptism of infants. These crimes have been produced by religions filled with all that is illogical, cruel and hideous.

No man can blaspheme a book. No man can commit blasphemy by telling his honest thought. No man can blaspheme a God, or a Holy Ghost, or a Son of God. The Infinite cannot be blasphemed.

No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.

One good schoolmaster is worth a thousand priests.

Our civilization is not Christian. It does not come from the skies. It is not a result of "inspiration." It is the child of invention, of discovery, of applied knowledge -- that is to say, of science. When man becomes great and grand enough to admit that all have equal rights; when thought is untrammeled; when worship shall consist in doing useful things; when religion means the discharge of obligations to our fellow-men, then, and not until then, will the world be civilized.

Reason, Observation and Experience- the Holy Trinity of Science- have taught us that happiness is the only good; that the time to be happy is now, and the way to be happy is to make others so. This is enough for us.

The churches have no confidence in each other. Why? Because they are acquainted with each other.

The clergy know that I know that they know that they do not know.

The Emperor Constantine, who lifted Christianity into power, murdered his wife Fausta, and his eldest son Crispus, the same year that he convened the Council of Nice to decide whether Jesus Christ was a man or the Son of God. The council decided that Christ was consubstantial with the father. This was in the year 325. We are thus indebted to a wife-murderer for settling the vexed question of the divinity of the Savior.

The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.

The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray.

The idea of hell was born of ignorance, brutality, fear, cowardice, and revenge.

The infidels have been the brave and thoughtful men; the flower of all the world; the pioneers and heralds of the blessed day of liberty and love; the generous spirits of the unworthy past; the seers and prophets of our race; the great chivalric souls, proud victors on the battlefields of thought, the creditors of all the years to be.

The inspiration of the Bible depends on the ignorance of the person who reads it.

The man who does not do his own thinking is a slave, and is a traitor to himself and to his fellow-men.

The superior man is the providence of the inferior. He is eyes for the blind, strength for the weak, and a shield for the defenseless. He stands erect by bending above the fallen. He rises by lifting others.

Theism is the only legal form of insanity.

There is no slavery but ignorance. Liberty is the child of intelligence.

This crime called blasphemy was invented by priests for the purpose of defending doctrines not able to take care of themselves.

To persecute the intelligent few, at the command of the ignorant many- that is blasphemy.

We are satisfied that there can be but little liberty on earth while men worship a tyrant in heaven.

Who can over estimate the progress of the world if all the money wasted in superstition could be used to enlighten, elevate and civilize mankind?

Whoever has an opinion of his own, and honestly expresses it, will be guilty of heresy. Heresy is what the minority believe; it is the name given by the powerful to the doctrine of the weak

Whoever increases the sum of human joy, is a worshiper. He who adds to the sum of human misery, is a blasphemer.

Why does this same God tell me how to raise my children when he had to drown his?


Categories: Church and State, Don Beaudreault, Founding Fathers, Quotes of the day, Religion, Robert Green Ingersoll, Unitarianism


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Quote of the day
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Published Friday, August 10, 2012 @ 8:56 AM EDT
Aug 10 2012

‎I'm now a legend. I'm also the greatest athlete to live.
-Usain Bolt

Humility is not an Olympic sport, it would appear.


Categories: Olympics, Quotes of the day


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Observation of the day
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Published Friday, August 10, 2012 @ 6:41 AM EDT
Aug 10 2012

No one knows how to use apostrophes, but everyone knows how to spell "Roethlisberger."


Categories: KGB Opinion, Observations


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Just saying...
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Published Thursday, August 09, 2012 @ 6:36 AM EDT
Aug 09 2012


Categories: NASA, Observations, Olympics


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Quotes of the day
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Published Wednesday, August 08, 2012 @ 8:06 AM EDT
Aug 08 2012

The unrelenting, unchallenged mendacity that completely permeates Mitt Romney's campaign efforts prompts today's collection of quotations on lying.

A big lie is more plausible than truth.
-Ernest Hemingway

A gaffe occurs not when a politician lies, but when he tells the truth.
-Michael Kinsley

A liar in public life is a lot more dangerous than a full, paid up Communist, and I don't care who he is.
-Harry S Truman

A little lie is like a little pregnancy- it doesn't take long before everyone knows.
-C.S. Lewis

All men can be led to believe the lie they want to believe.
-Italo Bombalini

All political parties die at last of swallowing their own lies.
-John Arbuthnot

Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.
-E.W. Howe

Among all the world's races, some obscure Bedouin tribes possibly apart, Americans are the most prone to misinformation. This is not the consequence of any special preference for mendacity, although at the higher levels of their public administration that tendency is impressive. It is rather that so much of what they themselves believe is wrong.
-John Kenneth Galbraith

By means of shrewd lies, unremittingly repeated, it is possible to make people believe that heaven is hell- and hell heaven. The greater the lie, the more readily it will be believed.
-Adolf Hitler

Do not consider it proof just because it is written in books, for a liar who will deceive with his tongue will not hesitate to do the same with his pen.
-Maimonides

Half a truth is often a great lie.
-Benjamin Franklin

How is the world ruled, and how do wars start? Diplomats tell lies to journalists, and they believe what they read.
-Karl Kraus

How many times do you get to lie before you are a liar?--Michael Josephson

How readily do we believe a lie when it fosters in us a high opinion of ourselves.
-Charles H. Spurgeon

I always divide people into two groups. Those who live by what they know to be a lie, and those who live by what they believe, falsely, to be the truth.
-Christopher Hampton

I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point- race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything.
-Molly Ivins

I don't believe the Democrats or Republicans are lying to us. I think that every dirty, rotten, lowdown thing they say about each other is true.
-A. Ray Lambson

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.
-Adlai E. Stevenson II

I have never used an illegal drug in my life. Also, I have never told a lie.
-Tom Lehrer

I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.
-P.J. O'Rourke

If forty million people say a foolish thing it does not become a wise one, but the wise man is foolish to give them the lie.
-W. Somerset Maugham

If you begin by saying, “Thou shalt not lie,” there is no longer any possibility of political action.
-Jean-Paul Sartre

In politics, a lie unanswered becomes truth within 24 hours.
-San Francisco Mayor Willie L. Brown, Jr.

It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
-Jerome K. Jerome

It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies.
-Arthur Calwell

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
-H.L. Mencken

It is sometimes necessary to lie damnably in the interests of the nation.
-Hilaire Belloc

It's not a lie, it's a terminological inexactitude.
-Alexander Haig

Liars can mask their lies, but no man can put on the look of simple honesty.
-John Gardner

Loyalty to your country should never require you to lie about it.
- Joseph Sobran

Lying is an elementary means of self-defense.
-Susan Sontag

Lying is the same as alcoholism. Liars prevaricate even on their deathbeds.
-Anton Chekhov

Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others.
- Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
-Tim Allen

Men hate those to whom they have to lie.
-Victor Hugo

My father had a deep and lifelong contempt for politicians in general. “They tell lies,” he used to say with wonder, “even when they don't have to.”--Gore Vidal

Never ask a question when you know the answer is going to be a lie.
- Chuck Lorre

No one ever lies. People often do what they have to do to make to make their story sound right.
-William Ginsberg (Monica Lewinsky's lawyer)

People do not believe lies because they have to, but because they want to.
-Malcolm Muggeridge

Political language- and with variations this is true of all political parties, from Conservatives to Anarchists- is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.
-George Orwell

Reason is poor propaganda when opposed by the yammering, unceasing lies of shrewd and evil and self-serving men.
-Robert A. Heinlein

Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth.
-Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

The average between a lie and the truth is still a lie.
-Walter Mears

The best time to listen to a politician is when he's on a stump on a street corner in the rain late at night when he's exhausted. Then he doesn't lie.
-Theodore H. White

The cruelest lies are often told in silence.
-Robert Louis Stevenson

The first thing a man will do for his ideals is lie.
-Joseph A. Schumpeter

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie- deliberate, contrived and dishonest- but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
-John F. Kennedy

The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.
-George Bernard Shaw

The man who fears no truths has nothing to fear from lies.
-Thomas Jefferson

The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell the truth.
-H.L. Mencken

The more lies are told, the more important it becomes for the liars to justify themselves by deep moral commitments to high-sounding objectives that mask the pursuit of money and power.
-Bertram Gross

The polygraph looks for abrupt increases in heart rate, blood pressure and perspiration. The polygraph is, therefore, a highly reliable detector of orgasms. But does it detect lies? Only if you're lying about having an orgasm.
-Robert Park

The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity.
-Andre Gide

The truth about a man lies first and foremost in what he hides.
-Andre Malraux

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
-Terry Pratchett

There are people who lie simply for the sake of lying.
-Blaise Pascal

There is no point in asking a man a question until you have established whether he has any reason to lie to you.
-Ken Follet

There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it.
-William James

They say that in the end truth will triumph, but it's a lie.
-Anton Chekhov

They should have picked a different city to name after a man who reputedly never told a lie.
-Doug Larson

Under current law, it is a crime for a private citizen to lie to a government official, but not for the government official to lie to the people.
- Donald M. Fraser

Well, sure, the government lies, and the newspapers lie. But in a democracy, they aren't the same lies.
-Alexis A. Gilliland

When two opposite points of view are expressed with equal intensity, the truth does not necessarily lie exactly halfway between them. It is possible for one side to be simply wrong.
-Richard Dawkins


Categories: Mitt Romney, Quotes of the day


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Quotes of the day
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Published Tuesday, August 07, 2012 @ 8:14 AM EDT
Aug 07 2012

Quotes of the day- Garrison Keillor:
 
Gary Edward "Garrison" Keillor (born August 7, 1942) is an American author, storyteller, humorist, and radio personality. He is known as host of the Minnesota Public Radio show A Prairie Home Companion. (Click here for full article.)

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table... There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.

A marriage, to be happy, needs an exterior threat. New York provides that threat.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Ambition can take you far, but who are you when you get there?

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.

Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

Democracy is fine by me, but sometimes I'm not sure about you.
(song lyrics)

Denmark is no vacation paradise. It is cold and rainy and dark except for June and July, when it's extremely expensive.

Face it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.

God is a great humorist. It's just that he has a slow audience to work with.

God writes a lot of comedy. The trouble is, He's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world- like grace- and shines on everyone.

I believe in comedy as a humane art and as a profound craft, despite the fact it is considered by most academics as a sort of bastard stepchild of literature, to be kept in the basement and fed cold cereal.

I favor marriage between people whose body parts are not similar. I'm sorry, but same-sex marriage seems timid, an attempt to save on wardrobe and accessories.

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, “You can't say that.”

I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.

If life is a journey, then your 60s are the homeward leg when you're hung up in an airport and thinking bad thoughts about your travel agent.

If tofu adds years to your life, they probably wouldn't be the best years.

If you depend on the news for your worldview, friends, you're in a sad place.

If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?

If you're going to follow the herd, you'd better watch your step.

In romance, as in life, you only learn when you're losing. When you're winning, you just sit there and grin like an idiot.

In time, one wearies of foolishness, but not soon enough.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning, their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

It's better to be burnished with use than rusty with principle.

Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.

March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.

Marriage is like a feast where the appetizers are better than the main course and there is no dessert.

May your soul be forever tormented by fire and your bones be dug up by dogs and dragged through the streets of Minneapolis.

My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here in 1648 in the hope of finding greater restrictions than were permissible under English law at that time.

Nature doesn't care about your golden years; it's aiming for turnover.

Never insult a writer. You may find yourself immortalized in ways you may not appreciate.

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.

One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned- lock, stock and roulette wheel- by Lutheran Brotherhood, and must negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who don't understand why anyone would pay more than $120 for a suit.

People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.

Pumpkin pie is the epitome of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate isn't that much better than the worst.

Republicans might be heathens and out to destroy all that we hold dear, but that doesn't mean we need to take them seriously. Or be bitter or vituperative just because they are swine. I think one can still have friends who are Republicans.

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.

Some days you need to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

The New York Times reads like it was edited by two elderly sociologists, one of whom has been dead for many years.

The reason marriage was invented was so that we wouldn't have to argue with strangers.

The relationship between truth and a newspaper is like the relationship between the color green and the number seven. Occasionally you will see the number seven written in green, but you learn not to expect this.

There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

When it comes to finding available men in Minnesota, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

When the chips are down, the buffalo are empty.

Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.


Categories: Garrison Keillor, Quotes of the day


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Photo of the day
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Published Monday, August 06, 2012 @ 7:41 AM EDT
Aug 06 2012

Curiosity, indeed.


Categories: Photo of the day


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Quotes of the day
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Published Sunday, August 05, 2012 @ 6:23 AM EDT
Aug 05 2012

Quotes of the day- Marilyn Monroe
 
Marilyn Monroe (born Norma Jeane Mortenson; June 1, 1926 - August 5, 1962) was an American actress, model, and singer, who became a major sex symbol, starring in a number of commercially successful motion pictures during the 1950s and early 1960s. (Click here for full article.)

A career is a wonderful thing, but you can't snuggle up to it on a cold night.

An actress is not a machine, but they treat you like a machine. A money machine.

Dogs never bite me. Just humans.

Ever notice that “what the hell” is always the right decision?

First, I'm trying to prove to myself that I'm a person. Then maybe I'll convince myself that I'm an actress.

For life: It is rather a determination not to be overwhelmed. For work: The truth can only be recalled, never invented.

Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss, and 50 cents for your soul.

Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.

I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.

I like a man with poetry in him, but not a poet.

I'm a failure as a woman. My men expect so much of me, because of the image they've made of me- and that I've made of myself- as a sex symbol. They expect bells to ring and whistles to whistle, but my anatomy is the same as any other woman's and I can't live up to it.

I've always felt those [critical] articles somehow reveal more about the writers than they do about me.

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

Isn't there any other part of the matzo you can eat?

It's not true I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Success makes so many people hate you. I wish it wasn't that way. It would be wonderful to enjoy success without seeing envy in the eyes of those around you.

The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.

It's far better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone- so far.

-----

By today's beauty standards, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker.
-Dave Barry


Categories: Dave Barry, Marilyn Monroe, Quotes of the day


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Observation of the day
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Published Saturday, August 04, 2012 @ 8:33 AM EDT
Aug 04 2012

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; and perhaps, not surprisingly, it was also the median of times.
-The Covert Comic


Categories: Covert Comic, Observations, Quotes of the day


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Meme of the day
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Published Friday, August 03, 2012 @ 10:51 PM EDT
Aug 03 2012


Categories: Chick-fil-A, Meme of the day, Photo of the day, Samuel L. Jackson


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Dudes. Cut back on the Mountain Dew and Adderall...
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Published Friday, August 03, 2012 @ 7:00 PM EDT
Aug 03 2012

How often have you logged on to Facebook, discovered some feature had disappeared or didn't work the way it had in the past, and just assumed it was a browser compatibility problem or something screwy with your system settings?

The good news is it's probably not your system or browser. The bad news is it's probably because Facebook releases new code twice a day:

Ship early and ship twice as often
by Chuck Rossi on Friday, August 3, 2012 at 4:42pm

"When I wrote about Facebook's release process earlier this year, I stressed how fast we build things here and described how we push new code to facebook.com every day. In fact, I closed with the advice to "ship early and ship often.” Last week, in conjunction with the opening of our engineering office in London, we decided to double the release speed of facebook.com and indeed "ship often."

"We will roll facebook.com onto new code twice a day now, with a push driven by a recently-hired release engineer in our New York office in addition to our standing daily push managed by our California release engineering team. The New York-based push will give much more power to our engineers who aren’t based on the west coast of the U.S. and will ensure they're able to move and ship as quickly as any other engineer in the company. It will also give California engineers two chances to get code shipped and features launched each day.

"When I came to Facebook in 2008, I was the only release engineer, supporting around 100 developers in one location. Now that we’ve added more people and offices around the world, my small team in California (and now New York) is supporting hundreds more developers who are producing 6 times the amount of code per week. We’re making this change to keep our release process as quick and efficient at 1000 engineers as it was at 100.

"I'm really looking forward to this change as it takes our already incredibly aggressive release process and doubles down on it, offering us twice the opportunity to ship great things. It's exciting and I think it crushes what anyone else of our size and impact is doing. Ship early and ship twice as often."

The link to the actual page is: https://www.facebook.com/notes/facebook-engineering/ship-early-and-ship-twice-as-often/10150985860363920?comment_id=22595371&f_t=like


Categories: Facebook, KGB Opinion, WTF?


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This is a Google test.
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Published Friday, August 03, 2012 @ 9:53 AM EDT
Aug 03 2012

Nicely understated Olympic ceremony.

Tap-dancing militant Islamic fundamentalists.

We'll keep you posted.


Categories: Google, Zay N. Smith - Quick Takes


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Quotes of the day
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Published Friday, August 03, 2012 @ 8:12 AM EDT
Aug 03 2012

Quotes of the day- Joseph Conrad:
 
Joseph Conrad (born Józef Teodor Konrad Korzeniowski; December 3, 1857 – August 3, 1924) was a Polish novelist who wrote in English, after settling in England. Conrad is regarded as one of the great novelists in English, though he did not speak the language fluently until he was in his twenties (and always with a marked Polish accent). He wrote stories and novels, often with a nautical setting, that depict trials of the human spirit in the midst of an indifferent universe. He was a master prose stylist who brought a distinctly non-English tragic sensibility into English literature. (Click here for full article.)

A man is a worker. If he is not that he is nothing.

A man's most open actions have a secret side to them.

A man's real life is that accorded to him in the thoughts of other men by reason of respect or natural love.

A nickname may be the best record of a success. That's what I call putting the face of a joke upon the body of a truth.

Action is consolatory. It is the enemy of thought and the friend of flattering illusions.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealings with men.

Every age is fed on illusions, lest men should renounce life early and the human race come to an end.

I can't tell if a straw ever saved a drowning man, but I know that a mere glance is enough to make despair pause. For in truth we who are creatures of impulse are not creatures of despair.

In plucking the fruit of memory one runs the risk of spoiling its bloom.

It is not the clear-sighted who lead the world. Great achievements are accomplished in a blessed, warm mental fog.

It is to be remarked that a good many people are born curiously unfitted for the fate awaiting them on this earth.

It's only those who do nothing that make no mistakes, I suppose.

Let a fool be made serviceable according to his folly.

Protection is the first necessity of opulence and luxury.

Reality, as usual, beats fiction out of sight.

The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.

The conquest of the earth, which mostly means the taking it away from those who have a different complexion or slightly flatter noses than ourselves, is not a pretty sight when you look into it.

The last thing a woman will consent to discover in a man whom she loves, or on whom she simply depends, is want of courage.

The scrupulous and the just, the noble, humane, and devoted natures; the unselfish and the intelligent may begin a movement- but it passes away from them. They are not the leaders of a revolution. They are its victims.

The sea never changes and its works, for all the talk of men, are wrapped in mystery.

They talk of a man betraying his country, his friends, his sweetheart. There must be a moral bond first. All a man can betray is his conscience.

To have his path made clear for him is the aspiration of every human being in our beclouded and tempestuous existence.

We live, as we dream- alone.

What makes mankind tragic is not that they are the victims of nature, it is that they are conscious of it.

Words, as is well known, are the great foes of reality.


Categories: Joseph Conrad, Quotes of the day


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Remembering "The best bass player ever"
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Published Thursday, August 02, 2012 @ 2:24 AM EDT
Aug 02 2012

James Lee Jamerson (January 29, 1936 - August 2, 1983) was the uncredited bassist on most of Motown Records' hits in the 1960s and early 1970s. He is now regarded, along with fellow Motown bassist and Pittsburgh native Bob Babbitt, as one of the most influential bass players in modern music history. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2000.

Starting in 1959, Jameson found steady work at Berry Gordy's Hitsville U.S.A. studio, home of the Motown record label. There he became a member of a core of studio musicians who informally called themselves The Funk Brothers. The small, close-knit group performed on most Motown recordings during the 1960s. Jamerson's earliest Motown sessions were performed on double bass, but in the early 1960s he switched to a Fender Precision electric bass

Jamerson, like most of the other Funk Brothers, were jazz musicians who had been recruited by Gordy. For many years, they maintained a typical schedule of recording during the day at Motown's small garage "Studio A" (which they nicknamed "the Snakepit"), then playing gigs in the jazz clubs at night. They also occasionally toured the U.S. with Motown artists. For most of their career, the members of the Funk Brothers went uncredited on Motown singles and albums, and their share of record sales was considerably less than the artists or the label received. Eventually, Motown placed Jamerson on a $1,000 per week retainer.

Jamerson's discography at Motown is a catalog of the major soul hits of the 1960s and 1970s, including "Shotgun" by Junior Walker & the All Stars; "For Once in My Life", "I Was Made To Love Her" by Stevie Wonder; "Going to a Go-Go" by The Miracles; "My Girl" by The Temptations, "Dancing in the Street" by Martha and the Vandellas; "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" by Gladys Knight and the Pips, and later by Marvin Gaye; "Reach Out I'll Be There" and "Bernadette" by the Four Tops; and "You Can't Hurry Love" by The Supremes. According to fellow Funk Brothers in the 2002 documentary Standing in the Shadows of Motown, Gaye was desperate to have Jamerson play on "What's Going On", and went to several bars to find the bassist. When he did, he brought Jamerson to the studio, who then played the classic line while lying flat on his back, a feat prospective Motown bassists had to duplicate if they wanted to join the Funk Brothers.

Some sources claim Jamerson played on roughly 95 per cent of Motown recordings between 1962 and 1968. He eventually performed on nearly 30 number one pop hits— surpassing the record commonly attributed to The Beatles. On the R&B charts, nearly 70 of his performances went to the top. (via Wikipedia).

This YouTube video consists of just the vocal and bass track of the Marvin Gaye/Tammi Terrell hit "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." The complex bass line was improvised by Jamerson during the recording session, and is one of the best examples of the bass countermelodies that helped to give Motown its distinctive sound. The recording isn't the best, but it reveals Jamerson's talent and personality.

From the mid to late 60s, Jamerson split recording duties with native Pittsburgher Bob Babbit, who died on July 16 of this year.


Categories: Bob Babbitt, James Jamerson, Marvin Gaye, Motown, Music, Tammi Terrell, YouTube


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Quotes of the day
(permalink)

Published Wednesday, August 01, 2012 @ 8:18 AM EDT
Aug 01 2012

Quotes of the day- Gore Vidal:
 
Eugene Luther Gore Vidal (October 3, 1925 - July 31, 2012) was an American author, playwright, essayist, screenwriter, and political activist. His third novel, The City and the Pillar (1948), outraged mainstream critics as one of the first major American novels to feature unambiguous homosexuality. He also ran for political office twice and was a longtime political critic. (Click for full article)

A concern for others is self-love at its least attractive, while greed is now a sign of the higher altruism. But then to reverse, periodically, the meanings of words is a very small price to pay for the freedom not only to conform but to consume.

A democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates.

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

American writers want to be not good but great; and so are neither.

Andy Warhol is the only genius with an IQ of 60.

Apparently, “conspiracy stuff” is now shorthand for unspeakable truth.

As one gets older, litigation replaces sex.

As societies grow decadent, the language grows decadent, too. Words are used to disguise, not to illuminate, action: you liberate a city by destroying it. Words are to confuse, so that at election time people will solemnly vote against their own interests.

At any given moment, public opinion is a chaos of superstition, misinformation, and prejudice.

Congress no longer declares war or makes budgets. So that's the end of the constitution as a working machine.

Don't ever make the mistake with people like me thinking we are looking for heroes. There aren't any and if there were, they would be killed immediately. I'm never surprised by bad behavior. I expect it.

Envy is the central fact of American life.

Everything's wrong on Wikipedia.

Half the American people never read a newspaper. Half never vote for President- the same half?

Happily for the busy lunatics who rule over us, we are permanently the United States of Amnesia. We learn nothing because we remember nothing.

History is nothing but gossip about the past, with the hope that it might be true.

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

It makes no difference who you vote for- the two parties are really one party representing four percent of the people.

Liberal comes from the Latin liberalis, which means pertaining to a free man. In politics, to be liberal is to want to extend democracy through change and reform. One can see why the word had to be erased from our political lexicon.

My father had a deep and lifelong contempt for politicians in general. “They tell lies,” he used to say with wonder, “even when they don't have to.”

Nonprofit status is what created the Bible Belt. The tax code brought religion back to this country.

Private lives should be no business of the State. The State is bad enough as it is.

Religions are manipulated in order to serve those who govern society and not the other way around.

Some bastards have been great presidents.

Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

Television is a great leveler. You always end up sounding like the people who ask the questions.

The United States was founded by the brightest people in the country- and we haven't seen them since.

The brain that doesn't feed itself, eats itself.

The corporate grip on opinion in the United States is one of the wonders of the Western World. No First World country has ever managed to eliminate so entirely from its media all objectivity- much less dissent.

The hatred Americans have for their own government is pathological, if understandable. At one level it is simply thwarted greed: since our religion is making a buck, giving a part of that buck to any government is an act against nature.

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes.

The unfed mind devours itself.

There is no such thing as a homosexual person, any more than there is such a thing as a heterosexual person. The words are adjectives describing sexual acts, not people. The sexual acts are entirely normal; if they were not, no one would perform them.

Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them, either.

We have ceased to be a nation under law but instead a homeland where the withered Bill of Rights, like a dead trumpet vine, clings to our pseudo-Roman columns.

We should stop going around babbling about how we're the greatest democracy on earth, when we're not even a democracy. We are a sort of militarised republic. The founding fathers hated two things, one was monarchy and the other was democracy, they gave us a constitution that saw to it we will have neither. I don't know how wise they were.

We're the most captive nation of slaves that ever came along. The moral timidity of the average American is quite noticeable. Everybody's afraid to be thought in any way different from everyone else.

What we have in this country is socialism for the rich and free enterprise for the poor.

You cannot get through the density of the propaganda with which the American people, through the dreaded media, have been filled and the horrible public educational system we have for the average person. It's just grotesque.

You know, I've been around the ruling class all my life, and I've been quite aware of their total contempt for the people of the country.


Categories: Gore Vidal, Quotes of the day


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